Category: Criminal/Illegal

An Attack On Common Sense

| USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Hotels & Lodging

(A man and his wife and a bunch of teens check in. All day, the teens are running freely outside, even when it turns dark. Our part of the city is notorious for crime, and one of the teens nearly gets attacked by a mugger. Fortunately, she is unharmed. The man approaches me.)

Man: “My daughter nearly got attacked outside! What are you going to do about it?”

Me: “What do you want me to do about it?”

Man: *throws hands up* “It’s all your fault! If you’d been watching her better–”

Me: “Sir, I am NOT a babysitter.”

Man: “You sure are! You’re responsible for all the guests here! And she’s a guest! What kind of place is this, that doesn’t care when their charges gets attacked!”

Me: “I’m just a clerk. Now, would you like me to call the police for you?”

Man: “Fine, whatever!”

(I called the police. The policeman came and told him what I wanted to: that he was responsible. Later, the man wrote on a comment card complaining about me for not babysitting his kid!)

No ID, No Idea, Part 20

| Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

(I work in a retail store that sells and trades video games. If you want to trade your games in for cash, you must present a valid drivers license. It’s a state law. People are constantly stealing video games from bigger stores and will then trade them to us for cash.)

Me: “Do you want store credit or cash?”

Young Man: “Cash.”

Me: “Okay, I just need to see a valid driver’s license.”

(Hands me a Florida license with a Georgia address.)

Me: “Seriously?”

Young Man: “What? It’s valid! I got that off the Internet!”

Me: “Oh, I have no doubt about that.”

(I wouldn’t give him the cash and he was just dumbfounded that his idea didn’t work.)

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 19
No ID, No Idea, Part 18
No ID, No Idea, Part 17

No ID-ea Who Is Serving You

| Lethbridge, AB, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Technology

(I am 17, working in a large department store located on one end of a strip mall. I’m covering a coworker’s break in the electronics department when two men come in and proceed to round up about $1000 worth of goods, including having me take a number of gaming systems out of their locked cases.)

Me: “All right, gentlemen, your total comes to [large amount]. How will you be paying today?”

Customer #1: “Credit.”

(He proceeds to hand me a card. This is about the time that writing ‘check ID’ on the signature strip of credit cards became popular, so I instinctively look at the back of the card as I’m about to swipe it through. That’s when I notice something amiss.)

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I’m going to need to ask for some photo ID. It appears the signature strip of your card has been tampered with.”

Customer #1: “Whattya mean?!”

Me: “Well, someone has scratched out most of the strip, so there’s no signature on the card.”

Customer #2: “Oh yeah, that was… That was his kid. F***ing brat. Can’t you just run it through anyway?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. Without a signature I’m required by law to check for ID.”

(Customer #1 proceeds to snatch the card out of my hand, grabs a pen off the counter, and sloppily writes in the name of the cardholder. At this point, I notice the card has an ethnic-sounding name on it, and the two men are very distinctly Caucasian.)

Me: *taking the basket of items off the counter and setting it behind the desk* “I’m sorry, sir, but since I have no way to prove that you are the cardholder, I can’t allow you to purchase anything here with that card.”

(The customers continue to mumble and protest, getting more and more antsy by the minute. They finally take the card and leave, calling me a ‘b****’ on the way out. I know I can’t legally keep the card, but I immediately call our Loss Prevention Officer, who follows them outside. The police are eventually called, and they confiscate the basket of goods for fingerprinting. I go on about my evening. Later that same evening:)

Coworker: “[My Name], there’s a call for you on line one. It’s your sister.”

(This is a little strange, as my sister works in the electronics store at the other end of the strip mall, and will usually just walk down to talk to me if she needs anything.)

Me: “Hello?”

Sister: “Hey, did you happen to get some a**holes trying to use a stolen credit card tonight?”

Me: “Oh, God, did he get you guys, too? Yeah, I even remember the name on the card.”

Sister: “Oh, yeah, we got them. Guess who their cashier was?”

Me: “…You?”

Sister: “Nope… [Name of the cardholder]. He works in the appliance section. They tried to use his own stolen card on him!”

(Apparently, the man whose card they stole and one of the store managers held the guys until the cops arrived. Crime doesn’t pay, kids.)

A Taxing Customer

| UK | Criminal/Illegal, Money

(I work as a tax collector for the UK tax office. I phone guy who owes tax.)

Me: “Hello, is that Mr [Debtor]?”

Debtor: “Yeah.”

Me: “I’m [My Name] from HM Revenue and Customs. I’m phoning about your outstanding tax.”

Debtor: “No, you’re not.”

Me: *pause* “Um, yes, I am.”

Debtor: “No, you’re not.” *click*

(I pause. Maybe I gabbled the first bit. I say the same thing so many times a day it becomes routine. I phone back.)

Me: “Mr. [Debtor]. I’m sorry; I seem to have got off on the wrong foot.”

Debtor: “Whatever.”

(I can hear what sounds like a pub in the background; maybe he’s putting on an act for his mates.)

Me: “I need to talk to you about your debt. If you don’t pay we will enforce the debt, either by distraint, which is removal of goods for sale at public auction, or by placing you in county court and asking for judgement against you.”

Debtor: “Do what you got to do mate. Now f*** off!”

(A few weeks later, I get a phone call transferred to me.)

Debtor: “You’ve put me in court.”

Me: “You told me to, sir.”

Gun Control Out Of Control

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Money

(Today is the day before Thanksgiving. I went to a grocery store to grab a couple of last minute supplies and the card reader won’t scan my really old debit card. I reach into my wallet and go to hand the cashier cash when she flinches and ducks behind the counter.)

Me: “Hello, you okay down there?”

Cashier: “Oh, sorry, I thought you were pointing a gun at me.”

Me: “Why on earth would I do that?”

Cashier: “Because your card was declined.”

Me: “…”

Cashier: “Open carry.”

Me: “People really pull guns on you over ten bucks worth of groceries?”

Cashier: “Yeah, they want to make sure our freedom to be an a**-hole is protected, I guess.”

(I paid for my groceries and spoke to her manager about getting her a gift card. Grocery stores shouldn’t be war zones. Leave your guns at home!)

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