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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Boston Illegal

    | Boston, MA, USA | Criminal/Illegal

    (A customer discovers that the price tag on an item is covering an older price tag with a lower price on it.)

    Customer: “You can’t do that. That’s illegal!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I know because I’m sleeping with a law student!”

    March Monthly Roundup: Booze, Beaus, Bongs, Bigots, & Bindings

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Roundups, Rude & Risque, Underaged

    In addition to our weekly roundups, each month we’ll be sharing our most popular reader-voted stories.

    March Monthly Roundup: This month, we share five stories that show that customers can be bad, but at least they’re not boring!

    1. She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2:
      Think you’re going to buy booze for your underaged, 16-year-old daughter? Not on this liquor store employee’s watch!
    2. When Press Comes To Shove:
      A blustery customer counts on berating an employee to get his way; what he didn’t count on: the employee’s 6’5″, 250-lb. fiance waiting in the back.
    3. The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny:
      Misogynists really should go jump off a cliff, but this sexist customer probably couldn’t make it to the top anyway.
    4. Weeding Out The Dumb Ones, Part 2:
      Either this guy’s in the wrong shop, or those are the LARGEST. BONGS. EVER.
    5. So Good She Doesn’t Need A Weapon:
      A little girl learns that although diamonds are forever, mommy’s handcuffs are for her eyes only.

    Illegal Tender

    , | Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work late at night at a well-known fast food chain. We often get customers who are a little bit under the influence at night.)

    Me: “That comes to $23.95, thanks.”

    (The customer goes through his wallet and pockets and comes up about $5 short.)

    Customer: “Do you want to buy some weed off me so I can pay for this order?”

    You Better Belize It

    | Belize | Criminal/Illegal

    (I live in Belize. A lot of tourists think they can get away with anything in my country. One day, a foreigner walks into the store.)

    Customer: “Can I get some Diazepam?”

    Me: “Do you have a prescription?”

    Customer: *tries to look bewildered* “Do I need one?”

    Me: “Yes, especially since it’s a controlled substance.”

    Customer: “It is?” *scoffs* “Well I didn’t know that. Some Xanax, then.”

    Me: “That is a controlled substance too. Valium, Xanax, alprazolam, lorazepam, diazepam…they’re all controlled.”

    Customer: “Well, then!” *hurriedly walks out of the store*

    Weeding Out The Dumb Ones

    | South Dakota, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top

    (We are a fair trade store and, as such, sell items such as incense and incense burners. We are sometimes mistaken for a “head shop”. We also rent kayaks in the summer.)

    Customer: *looking over his shoulder a few times* “Where is your ‘special merchandise?’”

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “You know…” *winks* “…your ‘back room stuff.’”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t have anything in a back room. All of our stock is out on the floor.”

    Customer: *pointing to the kayak storage room* “Then, what’s in there?”

    Me: “That’s our kayak room.”

    Customer: *knowing look* “Oh…your ‘kayak room’. Can I see your ‘kayak room?’”

    Me: “Sure!”

    (He walks back, opens the door, walks in. I can hear him moving things around for a few minutes before he returns with a confused look on his face.)

    Customer: “There’s kayaks in there!”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Customer: “Where’s the weed?”

    Me: “Bye, now!”

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