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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Honest Heisters

    | Dublin, Ireland | Criminal/Illegal

    Me: “Hi. We are calling from [company]. Would you have some time to take part in a survey about Ireland?”

    Customer: “No, I can’t take part. I’m just a burglar here.”

    Me: “Oh, okay…we will try again some time.”

    Of Inky Inputs And Inopportune Idioms

    | Perth, Australia | Criminal/Illegal

    (I am a employee at a electronics store. We are having a fairly normal day. As I am attending to a woman, two men barge through the shop and demand that everyone drop to the ground.)

    Customer: *starts looking through her purse*

    Me: “Ma’am, I think we should do what they say and not call the police.”

    Customer: “No, I’m not looking for that…ah! Here it is!”

    (The customer holds up a pen. Meanwhile, I’m lying on the floor with a confused look on my face.)

    Customer: *whispers* “The pen is mightier then the sword.”

    Recipe For Disaster

    | Vancouver, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top

    (A customer comes up to the pharmacy counter. Keep in mind, Sudafed (pseudoephedrine) is controlled in all 50 states as it is used to make methamphetamine.)

    Customer: “I need some Sudafed.”

    Me: “Did you want Sudafed or [store brand]?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The active ingredient is the same but sometimes they change the inactive ingredients. It still works the same though. Plus, [store brand] is about 5 bucks cheaper.”

    Customer: “The recipe said I need Sudafed.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: *realizing what she said* “Um, s***. Never mind, I got to go.”

    (Not So) Smooth Counterfeiting

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Criminal/Illegal

    (I am ringing up a customer when he hands me a 100 dollar bill.)

    Me: “Alright, I just need to check it really quick.”

    (I hold the bill up to the light.)

    Customer: “It’s okay. I just printed it.”

    A Nugget Of Truth Can Get You In Trouble

    , | KY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (The fast food restaurant I work at has a bar right behind and our drive-thru stays open until 2 am. Like most fast food places, we cannot serve you in the drive-thru if you aren’t in a car.)

    Customer #1: *walks up and bangs on the drive-thru window* “Hey!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer #1: “I want a cheeseburger and some fries. Oh and a shake.”

    Customer #2: “And nuggets, don’t forget nuggets!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t serve you unless you are in a car.”

    Customer #1: “But I’ve been drinking.”

    Me: “I understand, but it’s not safe to have people in the drive-thru when they aren’t in their car.”

    Customer #1: “Okay.”

    (About 20 minutes later, they pull around very fast, passing the menu. I notice his unfinished beer is sitting between his knees.)

    Customer #1: “Okay. I want a cheeseburger–”

    Me: “Sir, do you realize that you are now drinking and driving and I can call the police?”

    (Customer #1 goes white and starts to drive away.)

    Customer #2: *as they pull away* “You forgot my nuggets!”


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