Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,949 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Now Showing The Fugitive

    | Federal Way, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal

    (I am outside in the box office by myself at night when a shady-looking guy walks up.)

    Customer: “Hi, when’s the very next show?”

    Me: “Twenty minutes.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll get a ticket to that one.”

    (This is very common for people who don’t care what they’re seeing and want to kill time, so I sell him a ticket for Harry Potter, which is the next movie. He walks away looking at the ticket.  A few minutes later, he comes back.)

    Customer: “You sold me the wrong ticket. You said Twenty Minutes.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you wanted the next show that was playing.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I do.  You sold me a ticket for Harry Potter.  I don’t want this movie. I want the other one!”

    Me: *confused* “I’m sorry, what movie did you want again?”

    Customer:Twenty Minutes.”

    Me: “We don’t have a movie called Twenty Minutes.  You asked when the next movie was.”

    Customer: “Well, whatever. I don’t want to see this.”

    Me: “Okay, I can change it for you. What movie would you like to see instead?”

    (He picks a different movie, and our policy for exchanges is to write over the ticket itself and initial it. Otherwise, you have to ring up a new sale to print out another one, thus making our tills short.)

    Customer: “You have to give me a new ticket.  This won’t work.”

    Me: “It will. The door people will know I changed it for you.”

    Customer: “But you wrote on it.  They’ll think I did it.  It won’t work!”

    Me: “Sir, I promise you, this ticket will work. Those are my initials, and they know them.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I’m under house arrest and I need proof of where I’ve been.  They’ll think I was the one who wrote on it.  I have the ankle bracelet and everything…” *ominously* “You want to come out and see?!”

    (I immediately printed out a new ticket for him!)

    Boston Illegal

    | Boston, MA, USA | Criminal/Illegal

    (A customer discovers that the price tag on an item is covering an older price tag with a lower price on it.)

    Customer: “You can’t do that. That’s illegal!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I know because I’m sleeping with a law student!”

    March Monthly Roundup: Booze, Beaus, Bongs, Bigots, & Bindings

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Roundups, Rude & Risque, Underaged

    In addition to our weekly roundups, each month we’ll be sharing our most popular reader-voted stories.

    March Monthly Roundup: This month, we share five stories that show that customers can be bad, but at least they’re not boring!

    1. She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2:
      Think you’re going to buy booze for your underaged, 16-year-old daughter? Not on this liquor store employee’s watch!
    2. When Press Comes To Shove:
      A blustery customer counts on berating an employee to get his way; what he didn’t count on: the employee’s 6’5″, 250-lb. fiance waiting in the back.
    3. The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny:
      Misogynists really should go jump off a cliff, but this sexist customer probably couldn’t make it to the top anyway.
    4. Weeding Out The Dumb Ones, Part 2:
      Either this guy’s in the wrong shop, or those are the LARGEST. BONGS. EVER.
    5. So Good She Doesn’t Need A Weapon:
      A little girl learns that although diamonds are forever, mommy’s handcuffs are for her eyes only.

    Illegal Tender

    , | Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work late at night at a well-known fast food chain. We often get customers who are a little bit under the influence at night.)

    Me: “That comes to $23.95, thanks.”

    (The customer goes through his wallet and pockets and comes up about $5 short.)

    Customer: “Do you want to buy some weed off me so I can pay for this order?”

    You Better Belize It

    | Belize | Criminal/Illegal

    (I live in Belize. A lot of tourists think they can get away with anything in my country. One day, a foreigner walks into the store.)

    Customer: “Can I get some Diazepam?”

    Me: “Do you have a prescription?”

    Customer: *tries to look bewildered* “Do I need one?”

    Me: “Yes, especially since it’s a controlled substance.”

    Customer: “It is?” *scoffs* “Well I didn’t know that. Some Xanax, then.”

    Me: “That is a controlled substance too. Valium, Xanax, alprazolam, lorazepam, diazepam…they’re all controlled.”

    Customer: “Well, then!” *hurriedly walks out of the store*


    Page 40/49First...3839404142...Last