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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Dopey Duplicators Can’t Dupe Us

    | Mississippi, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Underaged

    (Keep in mind that our store keeps records of people who try to trade in or sell defective, illegally copied, or stolen merchandise. One day, a teenage customer comes in with a shoebox filled with about 40 unboxed games for the Nintendo DS.)

    Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I’d just like to get some cash for these games.”

    Coworker: “Alright, I just need to see some ID…”

    (My coworker does a quick check and finds that this particular customer is known for having sold us defective and illegally copied games.)

    Coworker: “Do all of these games work?”

    Customer: *face turns bright red* “Uhh… y-yeah. Yeah, they… they do.”

    Coworker: “Are you sure?”

    Customer: “Y-yeah.”

    Coworker: “Mind if I test this one out?”

    (My coworker proceeds to pull out his Nintendo DS. By now, the customer knows he’s been caught and begins shaking.)

    Customer: “Y-you know what, never mind. I’m f-f***ing outta here!”

    (He left his entire box of games on the counter. Most of them didn’t work, and the ones that did work were obviously copied. We never saw the kid again.)

    Caught With Your Hand In The Cookie Case

    , | California, USA | Criminal/Illegal

    (A kid who I barely know from high school comes into the store where I work.)

    Kid: “Hey, [my name], give me something free!”

    Me: “No. Did you actually want to order something?”

    Kid: “Depends. Can I at least have a discount?”

    Me: “No.”

    (The kid then proceeds to reach his hand inside the display case where the cookies are held. I notice this and shove the cookie tray against the case, causing his hand to be trapped.)

    Me: “Take your hand out of there and leave before I call the cops.”

    Kid: “But it’s stuck!”

    Me: “I don’t care. Get your hand out now!”

    (He pulls his hand out and ends up leaving with out ordering anything. Thankfully, he was never seen at our store again.)

    Where There’s Smoke, There’s Backfire, Part 2

    | Lincoln, NE, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (A young customer is trying to purchase cigars, so I ask for his ID. Note: I’m Caucasian, and so is he.)

    Customer: “Why you askin’ for my ID for cigars? They ain’t cigarettes.”

    Me: “It is a tobacco product and illegal to sell to minors.”

    Customer: “That’s bulls***! Gimme a swisher! You’re just racist against me! Gimme a f***ing swisher!”

    (Suddenly, the customer behind him speaks up. It turns out they’re a police officer.)

    Officer: “He can’t without your ID. If you have a problem with it, let’s go outside. We can call your parents and we’ll have discussion about disturbing the peace.”

    Customer: *turns pale and leaves*

    Related:
    Where There’s Smoke, There’s Backfire

    The Faux-teen Of Youth

    | Queensland, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Underaged

    (Working in a liquor store one night, a male who looks about 16 enters the store. Please note: this happened in 2009.)

    Customer: *places beers on the counter* “Hi, I’ll just have these, thanks, and a bottle of rum.”

    Me: “Uh, sure mate. I’ll need to see some ID first.”

    (The customer produces ID, and it looks real—his photo on it, holograms where they should be—but one thing stands out: his DOB says he was born in 1929.)

    Me: “So. 1929 huh? You sure don’t look 80 to me.”

    Customer: “I’m over 18 though, aren’t I?”

    Me: “I think you better get out of my store before I call the cops, Gramps.”

    (The kid left the beer on the counter and ran off. He also left his ID, which I kept to show off to my friends. We all had a good laugh about it!)

    High Or Not, Don’t Mess With My Hires

    , | Hollywood, FL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top

    (A car blasting loud music pulls up to the drive thru. Neither I nor them can hear each other over the music. A few moments later, they pull up to the first window. There’s four men in the car, and all of them are smoking marijuana. The driver leans out the window and shouts at me.)

    Customer: “Why you don’t take my order, b****?!”

    (Before I can even respond, my manager comes storming from behind me and approaches the window.)

    Manager: “What’s going on here?”

    Customer: “This b**** won’t take my order!”

    Manager: “Please do not insult my employees.”

    Customer: “Man, f*** you!”

    Manager: “I think you had better leave. Now.”

    (At this point, the driver gets out of his car and approaches the window and starts having a shouting match with my manager. The next thing I know, the other three guys in the car start panicking about something, and shouting something at the other man, but he can’t hear them over the loud music and screaming. Then, someone comes up from behind the man at the window and taps him on the shoulder. It’s a cop. He has them all arrested for possession of marijuana and disturbing the peace.)

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