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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Prescription Affliction

    | New York, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a pharmacy technician. The pharmacist receives a call.)

    Caller: “This is Lisa; I am calling from Dr. [name]‘s office. I need to call in a prescription for a patient.”

    Pharmacist: “Sure, what is the patient’s name?”

    Caller: “It is [name].”

    Pharmacist: “And the prescription?”

    Caller: “It’s [narcotic], 90 pills, three times a day.”

    Pharmacist: “Okay, thanks.”

    (The pharmacist hangs up and turns to me, frowning.)

    Pharmacist: “Do you know anything about this?”

    Me: “What? No, why?”

    (The pharmacist shows me the called-in prescription.)

    Me: “Oh! Lisa was fired months ago. You had better call the police.”

    (When Lisa comes in to pick up the narcotic prescription for her boyfriend, the police are there to arrest her. The Doctor she used to work for is my father; she was trying to use his license number to get pills from a dozen nearby pharmacies.)

    Planning To Walk A Mile In Another Man’s Shoes

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m a cashier at a sports store. A customer comes up with just a few items, one being a small shoebox. I open the box and there are two dirty old kid’s shoes inside.)

    Customer: “Oh, my son has them on; he’s somewhere else in the store.”

    Me: “I just need to see the shoes before I ring them up, and make sure they are right.”

    Customer: “Oh, uh…”

    (He calls his son—who is standing ducked behind the candy aisle—over.)

    Customer: “Here!”

    (He cheerfully points at his son.)

    Me: “I have to see them up-close.”

    (He picks his son up and holds his feet out.)

    Customer: “See?”

    Me: “Can I get one of those?”

    Customer: “Sure?”

    (He’s not smiling as much now, and pops one of the shoes off.I check the shoe. It’s the same brand, same size, but different style number.)

    Me: “Oh, you’ve got the wrong shoe. Are these the ones you want? I can call for the right box.”

    (He puts on a big show of arm movements and smacking his forehead.)

    Customer: “Aww buddy! We got the wrong shoes! We got the wrong shoes, buddy. We’ll be right back.”

    (He takes back the box. I wait for a while, holding his other items. I call the shoe department to tell them about the man, and find out the box was for a much cheaper pair of kid’s shoes. I let my manager know, and she heads off after him. When the man returns, I am alone.)

    Customer: “Here we go!”

    (I check the box: same brand and style number. I nod, smile, and ring them up. My manager walks up, not smiling at all, and holds out another box.)

    Manager: “You wanted this too, right?”

    (He looks rather wide-eyed and quiet. He suddenly smiles and takes the box, nodding.)

    Customer: “Yeah, right! I lost this, thank you! I was going to ask for it. Haha.”

    (I ring up the box and the man leaves with his son. My manager says she followed my tip and found him putting on some adult shoes himself, determined to get a free pair. She just brought up the box for the shoes he was going to steal.)

    Do Not Acid Test God

    | East Lansing, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a 24-hour convenience store on a college campus I attend. A man in his twenties comes in at about 4AM. He’s the only one in the store except me, and one of my co-workers.)

    Me: “Hi there! How’re you today?”

    Customer: “Not bad.”

    (He walks over to one of the three aisles in the store before starting to strip down naked. I’m taken aback, and immediately start to call the police, while my coworker attempts to talk the man down.)

    Coworker: “Hey, dude, what are you doing? Put your clothes on!”

    Customer: “It’s a glorious day! A righteous day!”

    (The man, now fully nude, begins to touch his body to the disgust of both of us. He starts rubbing his front up against the ice-cold freezer door.)

    Me: “Sir, I’ve called the police. They’ll be here soon; please put your clothes on.”

    (The customer mumbles incoherently as he rests up against the door, touching himself very inappropriately. My coworker manages to talk him into getting into his underwear, as the cops arrive and arrest him.)

    Cop #1: “What’s your name, son?”

    Customer: “I AM GOD!”

    Cop #1: “Yeah, okay, son. Let’s go.”

    (The cops lead him out into the freezing air in only his underwear. Later in the day, they come back to explain why he did it.)

    Cop #1: “Apparently, he was on four hits of acid, and had just left a house party on campus!”

    (The customer came in the next day demanding that we return his iPhone that ‘we clearly stole’. We threw him out of the store.)

    Reminder: Crimes & Punishment Themed Story Giveaway

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s March Themed Story Giveaway:
    Crimes & Punishments!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about customers doing something criminal or illegal—and, if they were caught, how they were punished.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, April 3!

    Shrewd With Shoes

    | Kansas City, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (My manager is helping a customer and her daughter find a pair of shoes for the girl.)

    Manager: “This style has gone to clearance, so this is the only size we have left.”

    Customer: “Okay. Let’s try those on, and see if they fit her.”

    (My manager leaves the customer’s to try the shoes on. A few minutes later they come through my line to check out. The shoes are not in their pile of clothing.)

    Me: “So, you decided against those shoes?”

    (The customer seems flustered.)

    Customer: “Yeah, no. They didn’t fit.”

    Manager: “Since you aren’t purchasing them, could I have those shoes? I have another customer wanting to try them on.”

    (The customer points vaguely to the shoe section. My manager cannot find the shoes, so acting on a hunch, she calls security. I finish the customer’s transaction and bag her items. Security arrives a minute later, and the customer flees the store with her bags. Several minutes later, my manager and a security guard approach my register, holding the pair of shoes the customer said she left on the floor.)

    Manager: “I am going to have to write you up.”

    Me: “What? What did I do?”

    Manager: “You didn’t notice that woman had a pair of high top sneakers stuffed into her jacket! She threw them onto the ground as she was running. But since you checked her ID against her credit card and got all her information, I think I can let it go this time!”

    (Thankfully she was joking, and I wasn’t written up. She later testified in court against the customer, getting the thief’s name from the credit card she had used when I rang her up.)

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