• A Pain In The Nugget
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 6

    | Brighton, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a waitress at a café. We have a really moody customer who just keeps complaining about everything. He asks for the manager but our owner, who is usually really sweet, kind, and caring, goes out to him. The customer and his daughter are sitting at our pavement area. I follow to clear some tables.)

    Owner: “Sir, I’ve been told there’s a problem. How can I help?”

    Customer: “It’s ridiculous! I wanted a can of drink and you only have bottles; my sandwich was so over-filled half of it fell out when I bit it; and my daughter’s milkshake is so cold she can’t drink it! We asked for…”

    (Just then we hear shouting coming from another restaurant about 10 doors down.)

    Other Café: “Stop him! Stop the kid on the bike! He stole my bag!”

    (My boss suddenly flings her arm out and smacks the kid on the bike in the face with the tray she’s holding, sending him flying off his bike, with the stolen bags around his wrist. Everyone just stops what they’re doing and stares, silently. The other café customers come running and we soon hear police sirens. My boss then turns to the grumpy customer.)

    Owner: “You were saying, sir?”

    Customer: “Er… you know what? It’s a bit crazy now. I think we’ll just go…”

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 5
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 4
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 3
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 2
    Getting Owned By The Owner

    Good Thing He Didn’t Hit The Ceiling

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes into the store. He has a jacket bunched up under his arm. I notice him looking up at the ceiling and approach him to see if he needs help. He doesn’t so I head to the counter. He is still looking at the ceiling and then back at me. I call a coworker over.)

    Me: “That guy is freaking me out. He’s up to something.”

    Coworker: *heads over* “Hi,. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “No, just looking.”

    Coworker: “Can I check what you have wrapped in your jacket?

    (The customer unwraps the jacket to show that he has a black hair brush with a round hollow handle. Then he leaves the store. I head out for lunch and am sitting in a fast food place when I see the man come out of the toilet area. He again is looking at the ceiling and then around the restaurant. He sees me looking at him and quickly leaves. He still has that jacket under his arm, he heads to another fast food place. Again he notices me noticing him. I head back to work.)

    Me: *to coworker* “I saw that guy again. He was acting suspiciously in [Fast Food Place] but as soon as he saw me he left. He was checking out the locations of the cameras, which is what he was doing here, too. I think that he was going to pretend he had a gun. The end of that brush could be mistaken for one.”

    Coworker: “Yeah. We discussed it while you were gone and came to the same conclusion. I went down to the store that I saw him come out of and they had also noticed him checking out their cameras.”

    (There were no reported robberies in the area. We were ready with our surveillance recordings if there were.)

    Past The Point Of No Return, Part 6

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    (I’m on the floor helping a customer in our perfume department. She picks up two full sized perfume boxes and heads up to the registers. The line is long, so I follow her up and ring the line down. Finally, she approaches my register.)

    Me: “Hi, again. Decided to just get the perfumes?”

    Customer: “Huh? No. I need to return these.”

    Me: *turns the perfume around and point to the soft sensors on the back of the boxes* “Seriously?”

    (The customer finally looks at me and I can see the instant she recognizes me.)

    Customer: “Oh… uh… forget it.” *runs out of the store*

    Past The Point Of No Return, Part 5
    Past The Point Of No Return, Part 4
    Past The Point Of No Return, Part 3
    Past The Point Of No Return, Part 2
    Past The Point Of No Return

    Stamping Out Stamp Fraud

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer and his two teenage children come into the store at the beginning of every month, when they get their food stamps. We don’t sell a lot of food – being a drugstore – but we have basic essentials like bread and milk, and also candy. Every month, they would spend their food stamps on the most expensive candy we have. A few days later, they would return it, without the receipt, which rewards them with a store gift card. They would then use the gift card to get things they really wanted. It takes several months of the same cashier/manager combination to figure this scam out, because they try to buy and return from different cashiers at different times of the day. When we finally catch on, the next time they try to return items for a gift card, they were informed that we would NOT be giving them a gift card, nor accepting the return.)

    Customer: “Why not!? I return things here all the time! I’m a regular customer!”

    Manager: “You are returning food items that you bought with food stamps in order to get non-food items for free. That is a violation of the terms of the food stamp program. Goodbye.”

    Customer: *as he and his children are stomping off* “Well, we are NEVER coming here again!”

    (It was only three weeks until they were in the store again! Way to teach your children, Dad!)

    Not Noteworthy Enough For A Return

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I work as a cashier in a drugstore. I see a customer come in the front door empty handed as he goes to the back of the store. He comes to me with a pricey protein pack.)

    Customer: “I want my money back for that protein pack. It’s $60.”

    Me: “Do you have your invoice?”

    Customer: “No, I forgot it at home.”

    Me: “I can’t pay you back.”

    Customer: “Keep it for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

    (The customer comes back 15 minutes later.)

    Customer: “I didn’t find the receipt, but I’m going to buy it instead.”

    Me: “It’s going to cost $60.”

    (The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

    Me: “I can’t accept that. It’s a fake.”

    Customer: “No, I’m sure it’s real. How can you tell?”

    Me: “You only printed it on one side, and it’s black and white.”

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