Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,129 thumbs up)
  • Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (A couple of weeks ago the bicycle that I had owned since I was eight years old was stolen, right outside my shop. I was at work at the time and the CCTV we have can’t pin the culprit as he was in a blind spot. The police have been as unsuccessful as well. As my only method of transport, I have to go by foot which takes 40 minutes. I’m behind the counter one day, when…)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can I park my bicycle in here? Some guy got his stolen the other week so I don’t want to take any chances.”

    Me: “Sure, just park it up by the counter and I’ll—”

    (Before I can finish, the customer brings the cycle — MY CYCLE — in and rests it against the counter.)

    Me: “—k-keep an eye on it for you.”

    (The second the customer turns around the corner, I’m on the phone to my manager to ring the police. When he comes out of the office he notices the cycle and is just as baffled as me.)

    Manager: “What’s going on here?”

    Me: “A gentlemen just came in with this. He’s gone into the produce aisle but I’m certain that he’s the thief.”

    Manager: “Right. You stay here. I’ll speak to him.”

    (Without another word, my now-furious manager had rounded the corner and gone to have a word with the gentlemen in question. Not a second later I could hear swearing at the top of the gentlemen’s lungs as he came running down the same aisle and reached for my bike. My instinct kicked in and I held on to the back wheel as much as I could as he shouted for me to ‘f*****g let go’. He gave up sooner than anticipated as my manager charged at him, so he sprinted for the door. However, the police were waiting outside for him, and in a flurry of swearwords the crook was brought to the ground and arrested there and then. How did I know it was my bicycle? The dingus had forgotten to remove my water bottle which was attached to the frame and had my name on it! I guess crime doesn’t pay!)

    The Blade Isn’t As Sharp As The Employee

    | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer comes in with a an 8 1/2″ circular saw blade and he wants to return it.)

    Customer: “This blade isn’t going to work for me.”

    Me: “Oh, do you want to go down and see what would work for you?”

    Customer: “No, I just want to get my money back.”

    Me: “Well, in that case, sir, do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “No, I threw it away.”

    Me: “Oh, let’s see if I can find you in the system.”

    (Our system holds transactions for about three months. It is easy to find a customer if they paid with a card.)

    Me: “Um, I’m sorry, sir. I am not able to find you in the system. When did you buy this saw blade?”

    Customer: “I was in here yesterday!”

    (The customer is getting a bit irritated.)

    Me: “Do you have our [Business] rewards card, sir?”

    Customer: “F***, no! Why would I have your s****-a** card?!”

    Me: “In that case, sir, would you hold on a moment? It looks like I’ll need to get my manager because this is not in the system at all.”

    (I call my manager over and he asks all the questions I already did. I notice something is off: we carry this particular brand but we only stock one at a time, which is what the computer says we have currently. Sure enough, when I got to the shelf, that particular blade is missing, I head back up to my manager and pull him aside.)

    Me: *very quietly* “Sir, I have reason to believe that the customer is trying to return a stolen item.”

    (The customer is getting quite fidgety and very annoyed.)

    Manager: *to the customer* “Sir, I’m going to call the cops. Not only did you steal this, you tried to return it by getting what it was worth out of us as well. We have your face and license plate’s number on our cameras.”

    (The man bolted out of the store and ran away leaving the saw blade on the counter. I got 100 bucks for catching a shoplifter!)  

    Driving Through Adequate Fraud Prevention

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer walks up to the till. I’m watching the conversation from the kitchen nearby.)

    Customer: *to the cashier* “Could I speak to your manager, please?”

    Manager: *hearing her* “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I just came through the drive-thru a few minutes ago, and you forgot my two angus burgers.”

    Manager: “I very much doubt that.”

    (The manager points out the window, where the entire drive-thru and much of the parking lot have been torn up and blocked off for reconstruction. The sound of power tools can be heard even inside the restaurant.)

    Customer: “Um…” *stammers a bit before scurrying out of the store*

    A Fraud Sandwich

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi. I’m here to order some food but first I have a little situation. I was hoping to talk to someone who could help me with it.”

    Me: “Okay, sure. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I was in here last week and I left three of my sandwiches here. I had already paid for them. I just accidentally left them in the store. I called and the woman said, I forget her name, but she said I could get them replaced.”

    Me: “All right, did you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “No, it was left in the bag that I left here.”

    Me: “Okay, so, you don’t remember who you spoke to? What day—”

    Customer: “No, I can’t recall her name. She just told me to come in and I could get my sandwiches.”

    Me: “Okay, what day did you come in?”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Some day last week.”

    Me: “Okay, last week? So… what day?”

    Customer: “I guess, I don’t know, I think it was Thursday. Probably Thursday.”

    (I get some more information including her name, that she was here around 4-5pm and that her order was over 40 dollars and paid for in cash.)

    Me: “All right. I’ll go ahead and check out this information and I’ll be right back.”

    (I check the manager schedule for last week to see who it may have been that she spoke to. It is the first week of December and it just so happens that Thursday the previous week was actually Thanksgiving, one of two days the entire year that we ever close.)

    Me: “So, ma’am, are you sure you came in on Thursday?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it had to have been Thursday. I’m pretty sure it was Thursday.”

    Me: “Okay well, we were actually closed last week on Thursday because it was Thanksgiving.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t really remember. I guess it was probably Friday.”

    Me: “All right, I’ll be right back.”

    (I check the schedule for Friday, and it turns out that two female managers had been in very early for Black Friday catering and had left well before 4pm. The only female manager who was in past 11am was me. I double check our guest checks and can find no orders for even close to 40 dollars that were paid in cash.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it looks like there are no checks from Friday for a 40 dollar cash transaction and the only female manager here on Friday that you could have possibly talked to was me.”

    Customer: “Look, I don’t really remember what day it was. The manager I spoke to just told me to come in here and any manager would be able to get me my sandwiches.”

    Me: “All right, I’ll be right back again.”

    (One of the female managers is actually working and says she didn’t talk to this woman, so I call the last possible option and she confirms that she would have left a note about it and that she can’t remember any situation for three sandwiches by this customer’s name.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, unfortunately there seems to be no information regarding your situation. Our procedure is to take the customer’s name and possibly phone number and leave a note of communication for other managers. I cannot find any notes and none of our female managers remember promising anyone by your name three sandwiches.”

    Customer: “I… I don’t understand.”

    Me: “The managers here are all instructed to follow a certain standard of procedures when dealing with promising customers free food. We take the customer’s name and leave a note for the other managers-”

    Customer: “So what are you telling me?”

    Me: “The procedure for dealing with this situation was not followed by whatever manager you may have spoken to. You can’t remember any details about your transaction and there is no evidence of it here in the store. Unfortunately, due to our policies, I will be unable to give you any sandwiches for free today.”

    (The woman had been becoming increasingly rude as our interactions had continued, culminating at this point to full-out head tilts and accusatory eyebrow raises.)

    Customer: “I definitely spoke to a manager and she said all I had to do was come here and talk to any manager and I would be able to be given my sandwiches that I had already paid for and left here.”

    Me: “Are you sure that you spoke to a manager, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes, I am.”

    Me: “Our managers all follow the same procedure for dealing with promising free food to customers. Somehow you managed to not be treated to the correct procedure and I will be unable to give you anything. You don’t remember the name of the manager and I can find no proof that your transaction ever existed. It would be in your best interest—”

    Customer: “I spoke to—”

    (Tired of being cut off, I continue to speak regardless of her interruption. She continues to try to interrupt me and I continue to speak over her.)

    Me: “It would be in your best interest to have as much information as possible regarding your situation if you truly intended to have your food replaced.”

    (The woman tries to act very holier-than-thou about the whole situation.)

    Customer: “I spoke to a manager and was promised my food replaced. I didn’t even ask for my money back. I just wanted to get my sandwiches that I had already fully paid for, and that is not my fault; that is YOUR fault. Now, I’m going to need to buy some jars of your hot peppers, and maybe you should go ahead and give me a discount.”

    Me: “You know what, ma’am—”

    Customer: “EXCUSE me, WHAT did you say?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you know what? I—”

    Customer: “WHAT.”

    (I pause and look at her. I figure the negligible price of a small jar of hot peppers that we give away for free on people’s sandwiches every day is worth quieting her.)

    Me: “I’m sorry that there was a miscommunication about your sandwiches and so I’m going to do you a favor and go ahead and give one of these jars to you for free.”

    Customer: “Good.”

    (After making me keep an associate late to watch the line so I could investigate this situation, inconveniencing other customers, and being remorseless and insulting about lying to somebody’s face, I hope that woman could get to sleep at night for ‘winning.’)

    Scammer Scanner

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    (I am cutting fabric for one customer, while another coworker is serving a man who has a basket full of stock. The man has the basket on a lower ledge attached the service counter and is putting items on the counter for scanning. I look up to see him put the last two items on the counter, and he then puts one item back in the basket.)

    Coworker: *hands him the bag* “That will be [total], please.”

    Me: “Sir, can you pass me the basket if you no longer need it, please?”

    (The customer takes the item from the basket and drops it into the bag before passing the basket over.)

    Me: “Sorry, can I check that item you just put in the bag? Did you buy it before or from somewhere else? If so I need to see a receipt.”

    Customer: “She scanned it already.”

    Me: “I don’t know whether she did or not. We’ll need to check it.”

    Customer: *pulling the item out of bag and handing it to coworker* “It was scanned.”

    Coworker: *to me* “How do I check?”

    Me: “Just scan it; if it’s already been scanned it will show two in the quantity column.”

    (My coworker scans it. The item is added to the bottom of the screen, the quantity clearly showing one.)

    Coworker: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means it wasn’t scanned in the first place.”

    (The customer pays and quickly leaves the store.)

    Coworker: “How did you know it wasn’t scanned?”

    Me: “I saw him put it on the counter and then immediately put it back in the basket. It’s why I asked him for the basket.”

    Coworker: “I can’t believe he just did that in front of his kids!”

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