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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Putting The High Into Hiring

    | UK | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    Customer: *bloodshot eyes and stinking of weed* “Hi. I’m looking for a gardening book.”

    Me: “Okay. Our gardening section is right here. Was there are a particular book you were after?”

    Customer: “I’m wanting one that teaches you how to grow drugs.”

    Bookseller: “Like medicinal herbs? We have a few titles on natural remedies in our health sec—”

    Customer: “Nah, I mean like cannabis.”

    Bookseller: “Er… there are titles on that subject but they are only sold in our Amsterdam stores. I can’t legally sell them in this country.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. You guys hiring?”

    Too Early To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

    , | VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I have just gotten off my job, working retail at a clothing store. I stop by a popular, well-known fast food restaurant for dinner. The drive-thru is backed up, and there are several police officers mulling around. Despite this, I’m still hungry, so I go inside and order my food.)

    Me: “So, what’s going on here anyway?”

    Cashier: “This customer won’t move her car away from the pay window in the drive-thru.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Cashier: “We’re having a promotion where you can get a free coffee during breakfast hours. But it’s 11 pm. She shows up and wants her free coffee, and we tell her it’s only for the mornings, and she refuses to move. So we called the cops. I guess they’ll tow her.”

    Me: “Wow, all that fuss over a free coffee? That’s pretty sad. I understand crazy customers, I work at [Clothing Shop].”

    Cashier: “Honey, until you’ve worked at [Fast Food Place], you ain’t seen s***!”

    Board Of Mistrustees

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (I am interning at a business and working reception. A customer calls, wanting the information of a man who used to work there.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Business]. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need the contact information for [Name]. It’s very important.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can’t give out the information of people who no longer work here.”

    Customer: “But I just need his information. It’s very important.”

    Me: “We are no longer affiliated with [Name] and cannot give out his information. You could try looking online.”

    (This back and forth goes on for some time with me trying to explain that we can’t just give out people’s personal info.)

    Customer: “Why aren’t you answering my question!? I’m reporting you to the board of trustees! What is your name?”

    Me: “My Name is [My Name] and you can do that if you wish.”

    (She then hangs up. As far as I know we don’t have a board of trustees and I’m a six week intern from out of the country so I’m not sure what she was hoping to accomplish…)

    Driven Over The Edge

    , | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    (My mother and I are entering a parking lot with the intent to go shopping when a large blue truck turns down the wrong lane and cuts us off. Trying to be courteous, my mom hurries to park in the nearest lot to allow him through. He sits there instead.)

    Driver: “F****** b**** driver.”

    Mom: “Excuse me?”

    Driver: “Yeah, I’m talking to you. You f****** b****es need to learn how to drive. You were going way too f****** fast down that lane and you almost hit me!”

    Mom: “I most certainly did not! You cut me off.”

    Driver: “The f*** I did, you b****! You cut ME off! I ought to slam the s*** out of your car, you f***.”

    Me: *getting angry* “Hey, inbred, I dare you.”

    Driver: *noticing me* “F*** you, you ugly w****!

    (He jerks his wheel toward us like he’s about to ram us and I stand my ground.)

    Me: “What was that about running our car over?”

    Driver: “Yeah, you keep talking, w****. I’m about to get out and f*** you up!”

    Me: “Try it.”

    (He hasn’t noticed this whole time that he’s in a parking lot full of witnesses and that one of these witnesses has gone in to get the police officer who acts as lot security. He’s outside listening, silently moving up along the truck waiting for the guy to do something.)

    Driver: “B****! Keep talking, you fat f*** skank b****. Need to f****** learn the right of way.”

    Me: “Buddy, from what I see, you’re just running your lip and making a moron out of yourself. Instead of turning into a larger humiliation, maybe you should drive on and shut up.”

    Driver: “F*** YOU!”

    (The driver again jerks his wheel and almost slams into the car parked near us.)

    Driver: “I’m going to f*** your face up, you c***!”

    (He climbs out of his truck and BAM! He’s instantly against the side of his truck with his arms behind his back, because the officer grabs hold of him once he’s stepped down.)

    Cop: “That’s assault, attempted assault, we’ll slap in attempted vehicular manslaughter if you open your mouth again, and on top of that driving while intoxicated. Thank you, ladies. Have a nice day!”

    Sharing His Alcohol Problem

    | AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s about 1 pm when a clearly drunk and staggering man approaches me in the store. I am also a customer.)

    Customer: “Hiya, pretty lady. Wanna go for a drink with me?”

    Me: “Um… no, thank you. I’m very busy today and am happily married!”

    Customer: “Well… too bad for you!”

    (Moments later at the registers, I am in line with couple of customers behind me. The drunken customer stumbles up to them.)

    Customer: “Do ya mind if I butt in line ‘ere?”

    Other Customer: “Sorry, man. We were here first and the wait really isn’t that long.”

    Customer: *pointing at me* “I just wanna stand next to her!”

    (At this point I am having my things rung through at the till and exchange a worried glance with the cashier.)

    Cashier: *to the drunken customer* “You wait your place in line, sir! Just like everybody else!” *quietly, to me, handing me my purchases* “You go on and get out of here. I’m sending someone out to get his plate number ‘cause he drove here and is clearly pretty intoxicated. Have a nice day. We’ll handle the creep!”

    (I leave pretty quick and the drunk customer tries to follow me out, but is stopped by the manager. I didn’t hear what happened, but I am sure thankful the staff was keeping an eye out that afternoon!)


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