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    Someone Should Show Her The (Car) Door

    | Sandusky, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (An old car has just driven up outside the store. Out of it comes a customer who looks like a party girl, with makeup and chewing gum. She enters the store.)

    Customer: “I want some pretzels.”

    Me: “Right, that’s $3 a bag.”

    (The customer dumps the money on the counter and snatches the bag from my hand. I think nothing of it, but a few seconds later I hear her screaming. I go outside to see the customer screaming at a nerdy-looking girl that looks about 10.)

    Customer: “You f******, ungrateful little b****!”

    Girl: “Look, I’m s-sorry!”

    Customer: “You f****** better be, you little cow! You f****** well damaged my car! There are cameras up there. You are in so much trouble!”

    Me: “What’s happened?”

    Customer: “This ugly b**** thinks she can open a car door without thinking that she can actually damage my $50,000 car!”

    (I raise an eyebrow, as the car is clearly worth nowhere near that amount. The girl’s father comes up.)

    Father: “What’s going on, [Girl]?”

    Customer: “I’ll tell ya what happened! Your w**** of a daughter opened the door on my car, and there’s a f****** dent in it!”

    (The father and I look over. The car door has landed in a dent, but given the standards of the car, I assume it was there already.)

    Me: “Look, why don’t you come inside? I can call the police and they’ll look at the tapes.”

    Girl: *to man* “Daddy, I’m scared.”

    Customer: “You f****** well should be, you little b****! I hope you think about this every time you get in your precious daddy’s car! You’re lucky your daddy can actually pay for this! You think you’re so rich; you can do what you want!”

    (I try to help the situation by asking the customer to take a step inside and talk to the manager. But then she looks at the father.)

    Customer: “You gonna pay for it?”

    Man: “I am.” *looks at girl* “[Girl], try and think before you open a door.”

    Girl: “It was there already.”

    Customer: “You know what, little cow? I really hope that when your daddy is in hospital from the heart attack he’s gonna get when he sees the bill, he dies from it!”

    (The girl wails even louder, holding onto her father’s leg, as he begins to look pale. He puts an arm round the girl’s back, and some other customers outside the shop and inside are now looking. The customer can’t stand me trying to get her inside, and digs her nails in my cheek.)

    Customer: “Don’t keep talking to me in that fancy cashier talk, lady. I can handle myself!”

    (The girl’s crying is now really loud, so the customer goes over and pulls the girl from her father. The girl is reaching toward her father, and he begins trying to fight the customer to get her off. I call security in my radio. The customer is hitting the girl and knocking her glasses off.)

    Customer: “You think you’re so important, don’t ya? Well you’re just a f****** loser! You ain’t gonna rely on mommy and daddy forever, kid. One day you gonna have to leave. Yeah, and you’ll die on the streets because you waste all Daddy’s money on attacking everything!”

    (The security guards manage to get her off, and eventually the police arrive.)

    Policeman: “Calm down, miss. We can handle this.”

    Customer: “You f****** better do, because I got a party to go to.”

    Policeman: “The way you’re acting, miss, the only place you’re going is the station.”

    Customer: *laughing* “Come on! Takes more than a rich kid to get against me!”

    Me: “What about those cameras that you were arguing about?”

    (The customer is silent. The police take her away. The man and girl give statements, the man comforting his daughter throughout, and then police look at the car and exchange insurance. Soon after, the girl and her father come in to the garage and buy some fizzy drinks.)

    Father: “I remember you from that night.”

    Me: “Did you have to pay insurance?”

    Father: “No. It wasn’t just because she was attacking my daughter. It was because security showed the dent had been there earlier. And what made my daughter cry more actually, was the fact I HAVE had a heart attack. She was only nine and didn’t understand. She has a mental disability, so can’t understand many things and has to go to a special school. She already was having therapy because she’s scared of the outside world, and this was our first time going to a restaurant in ages.”

    Me: “Oh, my God; I am so sorry!”

    Father: “It’s okay. I really think she can get over it.”

    (It’s been around two years since and they come into the store often. She is a lovely, happy young woman, and has gotten over what happened to her. I’m just happy for her that she has coped so well.)

    Trouble Brewing, Part 5

    | Champaign, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I am working the Friday night shift at a gas station located on the campus of a big university. The city’s liquor law prohibits the sale of alcohol after midnight. I’m working by myself at 3 am, when a customer with a look of urgency and intoxication comes barging right in.)

    Customer: “Dude, I have a huge party at my apartment and we just ran out of beer! I need like six cases!”

    Me: “Sorry, buddy, but we stop selling alcohol at midnight.”

    Customer: “I’m desperate! There are like 100 people at my place, and a ton of hot b*****! If I don’t get more beer soon, they’ll leave! I’ll give you a $20 tip if you sell me some.”

    Me: “Sorry, even if I were to try to sell you some, I couldn’t since our registers also block all sales of alcohol after midnight.”

    Customer: “How about if I just walk out with two cases, and ‘accidentally’ drop $40 on the ground on my way out?”

    Me: “That would be stealing, and I’m not okay with that.”

    Customer: “Okay, what if I stuck my hand in my pocket, and pretended to have a gun…”

    (The customer proceeds to stick hand in his jacket pocket and make it look like he’s holding me at gunpoint.)

    Customer: “…and ‘robbed’ you for some cases of beer. Then you would chase me out, and while chasing me outside, I would ‘accidentally’ drop $40?”

    Me: “I couldn’t let you do that either. First of all, I would be required to immediately call the police and file a police report for a robbery. The police would then get your face from the store cameras, easily track you down since you live close by, and put you in jail. Is this party worth going to jail over?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry for bothering you dude. I really don’t have a gun. I just wanted to get some beer for this party really bad, and didn’t want to come back empty handed. Please don’t call the cops!”

    Me: “I’ll forget this even happened if you leave immediately.”

    Customer: “See ya!”

    Me: “Bye!”

    Related:
    Trouble Brewing, Part 4
    Trouble Brewing, Part 3
    Trouble Brewing, Part 2

    The Long Hold Time Of The Law

    | England, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Good morning, [company name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting to speak to you all afternoon.”

    Me: “I’m sorry for your wait; we’ve been really busy today.”

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting for 60 minutes!”

    (I can see our call queue, and I know that the longest wait anyone’s had all day is about eight minutes.)

    Me: “As I’ve said, we’ve been unexpectedly busy. I’m really sorry about that. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I want compensation for having to wait for so long. You’re victimizing me. You can’t get away with treating people like this!”

    Me: “Sir, everyone is in the same position. Unfortunately, you’ve called us during a busy time. If we have more calls than staff at any one time, some of our customers need to wait until someone’s available to handle their call.”

    Customer: “But I’m not just one of your customers. Don’t you know who I am?”

    Me: “No, sir, you haven’t provided me with any of your details for me to try to help you today.”

    Customer: “You can’t get away with this. I know about these things. I know! I’m going to the government! This is illegal!”

    Me: “It’s not illegal for us to be busy, sir.”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    They Handle Suits For A Living

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Top

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up my jacket. The ticket number is [number].”

    Me: “Let me check…”

    (Upon checking the ticket, I realize that the jacket has been left two years ago. This most likely means that it’s since been donated to charity, or auctioned off. According to the state law, after being unclaimed for six months, clothing can be donated to charity or sold off to recoup the losses.)

    Me: “I’m going to go check if we have it in the back. I’ll be back in a minute.”

    (Sure enough, it doesn’t exist.)

    Me: “It looks like we don’t have your jacket anymore, since it was left here two years ago and has never been claimed.”

    Customer: “What do you mean it’s not here anymore?”

    Me: “Since your jacket had been left here two years ago, it was probably donated or auctioned off by the previous owner.”

    Customer: “No, that can’t be. Go back there check again.”

    (I go into the back again, but come out empty handed.)

    Me: “Nope. We don’t have it anymore. Sorry.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! You guys can’t just get rid of my clothes like that! It’s an expensive jacket! Do you know how much that jacket cost me?”

    Me: “Actually, yes, we can, according to the law, cited in section 399-BB. Any clothes left unclaimed for more than six months can be donated to charity or sold off.”

    Customer: “Nuh-uh! You find my jacket, or I’ll call the police!”

    Me: “I said it before and I’ll say it again: your jacket is not here anymore. I’d love to find your jacket so we can resolve this issue, but I can’t.”

    Customer: “It cost me $800!”

    Me: “I wish I could help you, but I can’t since it’s been disposed of by the previous owner.”

    Customer: “I’ll sue you! I’m going to the small claims court and suing your a**!”

    Me: “So, let me put it into perspective: you leave your precious $800 jacket here, come back out of the blue after two years, and then threaten to sue us, even though the law in this case, which was created specifically for situations like this, states that we aren’t responsible for unclaimed clothes that have been left at the premises for more than six months? Not to mention the fact that we have absolutely no recollection of this, since our family took over the store just a couple of months ago?”

    (Due to the inability to provide a rational response, the customer proceeds to flip out. Eventually, the police are involved after the customer made the phone call, and an officer is dispatched. I explain to the officer what has occurred, as well as the law regarding the matter, and he sides with us. The customer ends up leaving empty-handed.)

    Cart Thief

    | Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (I am helping a customer load a large item into their truck. They will need twine to secure their large kennel.)

    Me: “Okay, I will be back with twine.”

    (When I come back out, I see that they have used my cart rope to secure their load.)

    Me: “You can’t use that; I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “It’s okay; we’ll bring it back.”

    Me: “No, I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “Let me talk to your manager.”

    (I get my manager.)

    Manager: “We have twine; the cart pushers need that to push their carts.”

    Customer: “Twine isn’t as good though.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry; I cannot claim liability. That is a device to secure carts; you cannot use that to safely secure loads. Please give it back.”

    Customer: “Okay, fine!”

    (I go to get my rope, but the customer just drives off! The next week is really busy, and we’ve run out of carts. This leaves the customers having to wait for cart pushers to bring back carts, or to go into the parking lot and find it themselves. We cannot send more than three cart pushers, because we do not have enough rope. I see the same customer waiting while I am taking a break.)

    Customer: “What is wrong with you! There are no carts! This is no time to stand around while people are waiting. How come you guys don’t know to send more people!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’ve been pushing carts for two hours, and I need to stay hydrated. And besides, someone, if you remember took our rope. Therefore, we can only send three people out to carts.”

    (The customer doesn’t know what to say. He gives me a dirty look, and starts to walk away. He runs into my manager.)

    Customer: “Your employee is accusing me of stealing your ropes! You guys are so incompetent! You can’t even get your s*** together and get carts!”

    Manager: “I told you last week to not take our ropes. Get out of my store; I don’t want to see you here anymore.”

    (The customer kicks a cart on the way out and speeds off. As he does, I can still see he hasn’t unloaded the kennel, and it’s still secured with the rope.)

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