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  • Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Customer Gets Carded Anyway

    | Manchester, England, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I am working the drive-thru, and the card machine has just gone down. There are a number of cars already waiting in line, so I go outside to put signs up and tell them about the problem.)

    Me: “Hello, madam, I am very sorry, but we are having problems with our card machine. If you need to pay by card, you will need to go inside the restaurant.”

    Customer: “Well why the f*** didn’t you tell me before?”

    Me: “I am very sorry but this problem has only just occurred.”

    Customer: “You stupid b****, I asked why didn’t you tell me before I queued up!”

    Me: “I walked out here as soon as we had the problem, and again, I am sorry for the inconvenience.”

    (The customer starts screaming at me, so I walk behind her car to go and tell the next customer.)

    Customer: “Don’t walk away from me b****. I was talking to you! Are you stupid?”

    (The customer then reverses her car into me hard, knocking me to the floor.)

    Customer: “You damaged my car you little s***! I am phoning the police!”

    (Someone comes out to help me, and calls an ambulance. Both the ambulance and police arrive, and surprise, surprise, it isn’t me that is arrested!)

    They Should Have Stolen Some Intelligence

    | CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Top

    (Three shoplifters run out of the store with a bunch of liquor. Our Loss Prevention agent has been watching them, and manages to catch the one holding most of the liquor, but the other two get away. Later in the night, the police come. One officer goes upstairs with the shoplifter, while the other takes quick statements from us. Suddenly, the two other shoplifters who had run off earlier came back inside.)

    Shoplifter: “Hey, is our friend still here?”

    (I quickly look at the cop right behind me.)

    Me: “Uh, yeah, he’s upstairs.”

    Shoplifter: “Sweet, can one of you guys go upstairs to get him or something? He has our pot.”

    (The cop and I share an incredulous look, while the two shoplifters just stand there.)

    Cop: “I think you’re gonna need to come with me.”

    (The officer took the shoplifters upstairs, where they were all arrested for possession.)

    Blank And Blind Judgement

    | QLD, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Technology

    (It’s Saturday, our busiest day of the week. A customer comes up to me with her two children to ask for something.)

    Customer: “I’m looking for an… ‘SDS card’ for my DS?”

    Me: “Oh, you mean a blank SD card?”

    Customer: “For storing things on?”

    Me: “Yep, that’s the one.”

    (I find all the SD cards we have in stock and put them out on the counter for her.)

    Me: “So we have 16GB on sale for [price], and 8GB on sale for [price]. It’s probably better to go for the 16GB as it’s only $10 more and holds twice as much—”

    Customer: “No, that’s not the one. I was looking for the blank game cards that you can put games on illegally.”

    Me: “Um… I’m afraid we don’t sell those, because they’re illegal.”

    Customer: “But my friend said she bought one at a shop in [town where we are]!”

    Me: “Unfortunately a retail outlet wouldn’t be able to sell someone that product because unlike blank CDs or tapes, they don’t have a legal use, so she must have got it from the markets or a garage sale.”

    Customer: “She’s not that type of person!”

    Me: “I’m not judging anyone, I’m just saying it’s illegal. If I sold you one, we would get into trouble, and you could be charged with copyright infringement and piracy.”

    Customer: “I’M NOT THAT SORT OF PERSON!”

    Me: “…sorry?”

    Customer: “YOU’RE JUDGING ME!”

    (She runs out of the store with her two embarrassed kids in tow.)

    The ‘D’ Is Silent, The Customer Won’t Be, Part 2

    | CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (I am working at the box office of a movie theater when a woman approaches my coworker’s window with two clearly underage sons.)

    Customer: “Hi, I want two tickets to Django Unchained.”

    Coworker: “Umm, are you going to see the movie with them?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to see that movie.”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, Django Unchained is an R-rated movie, and our company policy is that anyone who is under 17 years old has to be accompanied by an adult. I can’t sell you tickets for just them.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? That’s not fair. I shouldn’t have to buy a ticket for a movie I’m not going to.”

    Coworker: “No, ma’am, you would have to actually go into the theater with them.”

    Customer: “But I don’t want to see the movie! Fine then, I’ll buy a ticket for myself and then sell it to someone else in line who wants to see the movie!”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, but you can’t do that either.”

    Customer: “I’m an adult! I can do whatever I want! I’m going to buy a ticket, and I’m going to sell it to someone else!”

    Coworker: “Listen, let me get you my manager to—”

    Customer: “I don’t want to talk to your manager! You’re not going to call him!”

    Customer’s Son: “Mom, it’s okay. We really don’t need to see the movie.”

    Coworker: *into walkie-talkie* “Can I get a manager to box?”

    Customer: “I told you I don’t want to talk to your manager! Fine, I’ll just sit there with my eyes closed!”

    (She purchases three tickets and goes inside. In the time it takes the customer to walk inside, the manager, who has heard everything, has come to the customer service counter at the box office. The customer walks straight up to my manager.)

    Customer: “So, I guess YOU’RE the one I’m supposed to show THIS to.”

    (The customer shoves her entire wallet with ID in my manager’s face.)

    Customer: “See?! I’m over 17!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, that isn’t the issue.”

    Customer: “Yes it is! He told me I couldn’t buy a ticket unless I’m over 17!”

    Manager: “The issue isn’t whether or not you’re 17. The issue is that your sons cannot see the movie without you watching it with them because it is an R-rated movie.”

    Customer: “But—”

    Manager: “This is not only a company policy, which is posted all over, but also the LAW. If we sell tickets to R-rated movies to anyone underage, we can be heavily fined or worse. I would be more than willing to refund all of your tickets if you do not wish to see the movie.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand what the issue is! I’m an adult! I’M OVER 17! I guess I’ll just have to watch the movie with my eyes closed and cover my ears!”
    Related:
    The ‘D’ Is Silent, The Customer Won’t Be

    Blocks Out The Glaring Customers

    | FL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (My coworker has just had laser corrective surgery on his eyes. Unfortunately, he’s experiencing a much greater than usual amount of swelling in the area. His optometrist has prescribed him eye drops and told him to keep sunglasses on at all times, until the swelling goes down, as bright light causes irritation.)

    Customer: “Excuse me!”

    (My coworker and I notice an older customer glaring at him angrily.)

    Coworker: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “How DARE you!”

    Coworker: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “You take those off right this instant! I won’t stand for this disrespect!”

    Coworker: “You mean these?” *points to his sunglasses* “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just that I had laser surgery on my eyes, and the eye doctor told me I have to keep these on because bright light makes the swelling worse.”

    Customer: “LIAR!”

    (The customer lunges over the counter and grabs the glasses right off of his face. She puts several bloody scratches on his forehead with her long fingernails.)

    Coworker: “Oh, God!”

    (My coworker clutches his face, doubles over, and staggers head-first into a wall.)

    Me: “Good God, lady! Why the h*** did you do that?!”

    Customer: “You young ruffians are worthless! Not showing me the respect I deserve because you want to look ‘cool’!”

    (She drops the sunglasses on the ground and stomps on them, shattering them. The noise and commotion have attracted our manager.)

    Manager: “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!”

    Customer: “That young punk was disrespecting me with his gang stuff! I demand that you fire him immediately!”

    (The manager looks at the shattered sunglasses on the ground, and my coworker, who is doubled up, moaning and bleeding.)

    Manager: “Did you assault my employee?”

    Customer: “I can do whatever I want to scum like him! I’m the customer, so he has to do what I say! And he needed to be taught a lesson about respect, with those stupid things on his face!”

    Manager: “He was wearing those because his optometrist told him not to look at any bright light!”

    Customer: “You expect me to believe that? Give me a break! Now I DEMAND to be served RIGHT THIS INSTANT!”

    Manager: “I’m calling the police.”

    Customer: “Good! He SHOULD be in prison! He should rot there!”

    (The customer actually stands there looking smug and triumphant as the manager calls the police right in front of her, while I lead my coworker to the front office to get the first aid kit. About ten minutes later, the cops show up. My manager and the general manager of the store explain to them what happened, with the customer agreeing the entire time, still convinced the cops will be on her side. It completely blows her mind when the cops start to drag her away instead, as she goes kicking and screaming that my coworker should be the one getting arrested, not her.)

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