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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    The Need To Be Shirty

    | GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (Our manager is just about to clock out, when he notices a young man in his late teens looking around nervously and acting jittery. The young man goes into the fitting room carrying a $5 t-shirt, and then comes out with an obvious bulge in his pocket.)

    Manager: “Excuse me, young man. What do you have in your pocket?”

    Young Man: “I ain’t got nothin’ man. I don’t know what you talkin’ bout.”

    Manager: “Okay, sir. How about you walk back with me to the fitting room, and we see about that t-shirt you just took in there.”

    Young Man: “I ain’t done nothin’ man.”

    (The young man takes off, practically racing our manager to the fitting room in an attempt to remove the shirt from his pocket. He has misjudged our manager and is caught.)

    Manager: “Alright, we are going to take you back to my office and call the police.”

    Young Man: “No man, I’ll pay for it! Just let me pay for it!”

    Manager: “No, sir! I asked you what you had. I gave you a chance to come clean. You lied to me. We are calling the police!”

    Young Man: “Man, just let me pay for it?!”

    (Our manager is infuriated by having the kid lie to him, then having to chase him to the fitting room, and at having to stay an extra hour after his scheduled time to take care of this kid; so he cuffs him. One of my co-workers has a front row seat for the entire exchange. All she can do is laugh, because this stupid boy just got himself into a whole world of trouble over a $5 t-shirt.)

    Related:
    No Need To Be Shirty

    Building A Case Against Her

    | BC, Canada | Books & Reading, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the toy department of a fairly large bookstore. For the past few weeks, we’ve been finding empty boxes of large Lego kits tucked away in the shelves. I notice a woman crouched down behind a display in the back corner, a large backpack at her feet, and a Lego box in her hands that she’s trying to open.)

    Me: “Hi there! Are you finding everything all right today?”

    Woman: “Oh, uh, yeah.”

    (The woman shuffles to her feet, and I start ‘tidying up’ a nearby display. She puts the box of Lego down and grabs her backpack. She wanders off to the teen section, and I keep a discreet eye on her as she grabs a book and sits down to read. I find my manager and tell him what happened. He approaches the customer, who is still reading.)

    Manager: “Hey there, I hear you like Lego.”

    Woman: “Uh…?”

    Manager: “My kid really likes Lego too. But he’s really disappointed when he opens the box and the pieces are all missing.”

    Woman: “Um…”

    Manager: “So, here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to leave my store and not come back. If you do, I’ll have to call the police.”

    (The woman leaves the store, still flustered. We never saw her again. Mysteriously, the Lego stopped disappearing, too.)

    Not Quite On Top Of Her Game

    | MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a slot machine technician. While we do occasionally talk with customers, they’re not our primary concern. In the event of a customer dispute, we’re to call a supervisor and let them handle it from there. I’m flagged down by a flustered customer while walking the floor. She is playing a very popular game. Her English is halting at best.)

    Customer: “This game stole my $20! You gimme $20!”

    Me: “Let me take a look at it, ma’am.”

    (I open the game and check the device that accepts bills; nothing is inside. I next check the machine’s logs, and see that a $20 bill was indeed inserted only a few moments earlier, but that exact $20 was then cashed out 10 seconds later with no games played.)

    Me: “Ma’am, it appears the $20 was cashed out 10 seconds after it was put in.”

    Customer: “No! It stole it! Gimme my $20!”

    (I call for a supervisor. It’s a very busy Friday night, and it takes 15 minutes for one to finally come by. In the meantime, the lady has gotten more agitated.)

    Supervisor: “Hey, what’s up?”

    Me: “This customer says the machine ate her $20, but the machine’s logs say that the $20 was cashed out 10 seconds later.”

    Supervisor: “Thanks, I’ve got this.”

    (My supervisor approaches the customer.)

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, the machine says you cashed out your $20.”

    Customer: “No! It took my $20! Gimme $20!”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, I’m not giving you $20.”

    (The look on her face is something like rage, disbelief and heartbreak. She eventually storms off, getting nothing for her troubles. After talking with a few other techs, it turns out she has tried this at a few other games in the casino that night, with the exact same result.)

    He Jumped The Gun

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

    (A man bursts through the doors in a panic.)

    Man: “Did you need me to call the police?”

    (I am very confused.)

    Me: “What?”

    Man: “That must have been terrifying! How much did he take?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Slow down.”

    Man: “I was walking down the street when I saw a guy walk out of here carrying a gun!”

    (I stare at him for several seconds.)

    Me: “Sir, have you looked around? Did you see our sign on the way in?”

    Man: “No, why?”

    Me: “Sir, this is a gun store. He bought it here.”

    Contr-Acting Badly

    | NB, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (A customer comes in to return their truck rental.)

    Me: “Since you’re two hours over time, you’re going to have to pay for another day.”

    Customer: “Well if you’re going to charge me for it, I want that truck back so I can move some things.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’ve closed the contract. You would have to start to start a new one.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous; just give me the truck.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; you have to start a new contract.”

    (The customer turns and starts to walk around the counter. I grab the keys from the wall and put them behind my back.)

    Customer: “Gimme those keys!”

    (He rushes forward and attempts to tackle me, hitting into me with his shoulder. My manager is on the phone right away. We struggle for a bit, but he finally gets his hand on the key tag and pulls it free from my hand. The key itself cuts my palm pretty bad. He starts stomping out of the building as my manager yells to him.)

    Manager: “If you walk out that door, I’m charging you with grand theft auto.”

    (The guy stops and huffs, then drops the keys and walks outside. My coworker pulls me up, and we wait for the police to arrive. When the police arrive one of them greets the customer with a huge smile and a hand shake; it seems he knows him quite well. The two police officers and the man talk for a while and finally they come over to talk to me.)

    Police Officer: “If you want to press charges, it’s not going to be easy. He wasn’t trying to hurt you; he was just trying to get the keys. We can’t really report this as an assault. If he shakes your hand and apologizes, will you agree not to press charges?”

    (I nod agreement.)

    Customer: “Oh, hey, sorry I tripped and fell on you there. I wasn’t trying to hurt you; I was just trying to get the keys.”

    (I can now say that he was the worst customer I’ve ever had. When someone gets mad at me, or swears at me at work, I just laugh. Nothing they can say can be worse than what that customer did to me. I now keep a heavy, blunt object on hand at the counter, just in case.)


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