Category: Criminal/Illegal

A Minor Mistake, Part 3

| UK | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(Having asked for ID for two members of a family’s table and them not having any, the two young people buy cokes. However, not long afterwards I see them drinking cocktails purchased by the father.)

Me: “Excuse me, guys, but as I said at the bar I’m afraid I can’t let you two drink alcohol since you don’t have your ID with you.”

Father: “Yeah, but I bought them. So, it’s fine.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t let anyone without ID drink alcohol. I need you to return those drinks or I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Father: “You let them drink their drinks or I’m calling the police. You’ll get fired and you’ll end up arrested.”

Me: “You want to phone the police, to arrest me, because you supplied alcohol to a child?”

Father: “… We’ll leave.”

Related:
A Minor Mistake, Part 2
A Minor Mistake

Your Passport To Being Banned

| USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(I go into a bar I frequent. I had lost my wallet a few days earlier, but I know most of the bartenders, so I didn’t expect them to ask for identification. The woman working doesn’t recognize me, and asks for my ID. Also, I’m a 23-year-old white woman.)

Me: “I think I actually have my passport in my car. Hold on.”

(I go get it and show the bartender.)

Bartender: *not amused* “This isn’t you.”

Me: “No, it is…”

(I get this almost every time I show my passport, because it is an old picture and it really doesn’t look that much like me.)

Bartender: “Is this even real?”

(Now, I’m offended.)

Me: “It’s definitely me. I come here all the time and we went to [Community College] together!”

Bartender: “No, we didn’t. And this is DEFINITELY not you.”

Me: “It is! Look at the date it was issued. Look at my birth date. That picture was taken when I was 17. I’m 24 now, a little heavier, and my hair is longer and less pink, but it is DEFINITELY me!”

Bartender: “This is you?”

(She turns the passport to me and shows me the picture, one of an older man of Middle Eastern descent with a Saudi Arabian name and an impressive beard. A friend of mine had put his passport in my glove box months ago and then apparently forgot about it.)

Me: “You’re right; that’s not me.”

(Luckily, I had my actual passport, and was able to return my friend’s with an awesome story. With any luck at all, the bartender will fail to remember me again next time I go in.)

A Major Minor Mishap

, | Wales, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I am 15 years old, and I work in my cousin’s burger van or cafe during the school breaks. Often I will be in the kiosk late at night when all the clubs close while my cousin is still working. One night a group of guys in their 30s comes up, slightly drunk, and ordered a bunch of food.)

Customer #1: “You having fun tonight?”

Me: “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

Customer #2: “Oh, god, leave her alone, dude!”

Me: *laughs nervously*

Customer #1: “Oh, come on… Hey, you see that sausage on the hotplate?”

Me: “Uh, yeah?”

Customer #1: “I could give you double the sausage on that hotplate if you come back with me.”

Me: “Oh, is that so?”

Customer #1: “Oh yeah, totally.”

(I laugh and let him carry on, his friends just laughing at him.)

Me: “So, I’m curious. Do you always talk to minors like that?”

Customer #1: “What?!”

Me: “Well, I’m 15.”

(Customer #1 runs off in a hurry without his order, red faced.)

Customer #2: “Well, he won’t live that down any time soon!”

EBT For HBO

| CT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Money, Movies & TV

(A customer has called to make a payment with a credit card.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, your bill total is [amount]. What credit card will you be using today?”

Caller: “My credit card number is…”

(The caller starts reading off a credit card number that starts with the number 5, which is a Mastercard, but I notice that what she is reading is over 16 digits long.)

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but the credit card number you gave me is too long. Is it a Master Card?”

Customer: “No, it’s EBT.”

Lawless And Clueless

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

(I work as a receptionist at a retirement home.)

Resident #1: “I want you to call the police right away.”

Me: “Um. May I ask why?”

Resident #1: “I called for a taxi and it still isn’t here. I want the police to arrest the driver.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry about your wait but I don’t think the police should be involved with something like that.”

Resident #1: “I don’t care. I’m a very important person. I have connections. Call the police.”

Me: “Why don’t I call the taxi company to see where it is? I mean, it’s not like the driver can break traffic laws just to pick you up.”

Resident #1: “I am above the law. With one word I can get this whole company shut down. I can—”

Resident #2: *slowly walks up to desk with walker* “Is that your taxi outside?”

Resident #1: “Ah, yes. Goodbye.”

Resident #2: *waits until the first resident leaves* “What a b****.”

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