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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Trouble Brewing, Part 5

    | Champaign, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I am working the Friday night shift at a gas station located on the campus of a big university. The city’s liquor law prohibits the sale of alcohol after midnight. I’m working by myself at 3 am, when a customer with a look of urgency and intoxication comes barging right in.)

    Customer: “Dude, I have a huge party at my apartment and we just ran out of beer! I need like six cases!”

    Me: “Sorry, buddy, but we stop selling alcohol at midnight.”

    Customer: “I’m desperate! There are like 100 people at my place, and a ton of hot b*****! If I don’t get more beer soon, they’ll leave! I’ll give you a $20 tip if you sell me some.”

    Me: “Sorry, even if I were to try to sell you some, I couldn’t since our registers also block all sales of alcohol after midnight.”

    Customer: “How about if I just walk out with two cases, and ‘accidentally’ drop $40 on the ground on my way out?”

    Me: “That would be stealing, and I’m not okay with that.”

    Customer: “Okay, what if I stuck my hand in my pocket, and pretended to have a gun…”

    (The customer proceeds to stick hand in his jacket pocket and make it look like he’s holding me at gunpoint.)

    Customer: “…and ‘robbed’ you for some cases of beer. Then you would chase me out, and while chasing me outside, I would ‘accidentally’ drop $40?”

    Me: “I couldn’t let you do that either. First of all, I would be required to immediately call the police and file a police report for a robbery. The police would then get your face from the store cameras, easily track you down since you live close by, and put you in jail. Is this party worth going to jail over?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry for bothering you dude. I really don’t have a gun. I just wanted to get some beer for this party really bad, and didn’t want to come back empty handed. Please don’t call the cops!”

    Me: “I’ll forget this even happened if you leave immediately.”

    Customer: “See ya!”

    Me: “Bye!”

    Related:
    Trouble Brewing, Part 4
    Trouble Brewing, Part 3
    Trouble Brewing, Part 2

    The Long Hold Time Of The Law

    | England, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Good morning, [company name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting to speak to you all afternoon.”

    Me: “I’m sorry for your wait; we’ve been really busy today.”

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting for 60 minutes!”

    (I can see our call queue, and I know that the longest wait anyone’s had all day is about eight minutes.)

    Me: “As I’ve said, we’ve been unexpectedly busy. I’m really sorry about that. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I want compensation for having to wait for so long. You’re victimizing me. You can’t get away with treating people like this!”

    Me: “Sir, everyone is in the same position. Unfortunately, you’ve called us during a busy time. If we have more calls than staff at any one time, some of our customers need to wait until someone’s available to handle their call.”

    Customer: “But I’m not just one of your customers. Don’t you know who I am?”

    Me: “No, sir, you haven’t provided me with any of your details for me to try to help you today.”

    Customer: “You can’t get away with this. I know about these things. I know! I’m going to the government! This is illegal!”

    Me: “It’s not illegal for us to be busy, sir.”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    They Handle Suits For A Living

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Top

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up my jacket. The ticket number is [number].”

    Me: “Let me check…”

    (Upon checking the ticket, I realize that the jacket has been left two years ago. This most likely means that it’s since been donated to charity, or auctioned off. According to the state law, after being unclaimed for six months, clothing can be donated to charity or sold off to recoup the losses.)

    Me: “I’m going to go check if we have it in the back. I’ll be back in a minute.”

    (Sure enough, it doesn’t exist.)

    Me: “It looks like we don’t have your jacket anymore, since it was left here two years ago and has never been claimed.”

    Customer: “What do you mean it’s not here anymore?”

    Me: “Since your jacket had been left here two years ago, it was probably donated or auctioned off by the previous owner.”

    Customer: “No, that can’t be. Go back there check again.”

    (I go into the back again, but come out empty handed.)

    Me: “Nope. We don’t have it anymore. Sorry.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! You guys can’t just get rid of my clothes like that! It’s an expensive jacket! Do you know how much that jacket cost me?”

    Me: “Actually, yes, we can, according to the law, cited in section 399-BB. Any clothes left unclaimed for more than six months can be donated to charity or sold off.”

    Customer: “Nuh-uh! You find my jacket, or I’ll call the police!”

    Me: “I said it before and I’ll say it again: your jacket is not here anymore. I’d love to find your jacket so we can resolve this issue, but I can’t.”

    Customer: “It cost me $800!”

    Me: “I wish I could help you, but I can’t since it’s been disposed of by the previous owner.”

    Customer: “I’ll sue you! I’m going to the small claims court and suing your a**!”

    Me: “So, let me put it into perspective: you leave your precious $800 jacket here, come back out of the blue after two years, and then threaten to sue us, even though the law in this case, which was created specifically for situations like this, states that we aren’t responsible for unclaimed clothes that have been left at the premises for more than six months? Not to mention the fact that we have absolutely no recollection of this, since our family took over the store just a couple of months ago?”

    (Due to the inability to provide a rational response, the customer proceeds to flip out. Eventually, the police are involved after the customer made the phone call, and an officer is dispatched. I explain to the officer what has occurred, as well as the law regarding the matter, and he sides with us. The customer ends up leaving empty-handed.)

    Cart Thief

    | Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (I am helping a customer load a large item into their truck. They will need twine to secure their large kennel.)

    Me: “Okay, I will be back with twine.”

    (When I come back out, I see that they have used my cart rope to secure their load.)

    Me: “You can’t use that; I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “It’s okay; we’ll bring it back.”

    Me: “No, I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “Let me talk to your manager.”

    (I get my manager.)

    Manager: “We have twine; the cart pushers need that to push their carts.”

    Customer: “Twine isn’t as good though.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry; I cannot claim liability. That is a device to secure carts; you cannot use that to safely secure loads. Please give it back.”

    Customer: “Okay, fine!”

    (I go to get my rope, but the customer just drives off! The next week is really busy, and we’ve run out of carts. This leaves the customers having to wait for cart pushers to bring back carts, or to go into the parking lot and find it themselves. We cannot send more than three cart pushers, because we do not have enough rope. I see the same customer waiting while I am taking a break.)

    Customer: “What is wrong with you! There are no carts! This is no time to stand around while people are waiting. How come you guys don’t know to send more people!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’ve been pushing carts for two hours, and I need to stay hydrated. And besides, someone, if you remember took our rope. Therefore, we can only send three people out to carts.”

    (The customer doesn’t know what to say. He gives me a dirty look, and starts to walk away. He runs into my manager.)

    Customer: “Your employee is accusing me of stealing your ropes! You guys are so incompetent! You can’t even get your s*** together and get carts!”

    Manager: “I told you last week to not take our ropes. Get out of my store; I don’t want to see you here anymore.”

    (The customer kicks a cart on the way out and speeds off. As he does, I can still see he hasn’t unloaded the kennel, and it’s still secured with the rope.)

    Running A Mile With Another Man’s Shoes

    | KY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Themed Giveaway, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (At the store I manage, we put sensors on expensive shoes. My sales manager comes up to inform me she has heard a customer popping one off of a shoe. I approach the customer.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you doing today? Do you need any assistance?”

    (I notice a sensor sitting next to him. I pick it up and hold it in my hand while assisting him. He picks up a shoe box, and starts to walk away.)

    Customer: “No, I’m good.”

    (He proceeds to look around the store while I follow him; I’m still holding the sensor. He puts the box he is carrying on a shelf, and starts to make his way out the door. I pick up the box to find it empty. He is walking down the sidewalk, so I run after him.)

    Me: “Sir, give me back those shoes!”

    Customer: “I don’t know what you’re talking about; you’re crazy!”

    (He proceeds to run across the parking lot, with me in hot pursuit.)

    Me: “Help! Help! Criminal! Criminal!”

    (I am a small, 5’ young woman, chasing a 6’ man in his 30s. I start to lose steam, and am losing him. Out of nowhere, a security guard runs past me. The customer does not notice the guard, but starts dropping shoes out of his pants one by one. Thinking I am lagging behind, he turns back to pick up the shoes. He notices the security guard, and starts to run again. A car pulls up and tries to hit the shoplifter. He doesn’t hit him, but slows the man enough to allow the security guard to catch up. They proceed to wrestle, and the security guard takes the customer down. In the end, the customer is arrested, and I get all the shoes back!)


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