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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Getting All Hancocked Over A Benjamin, Part 2

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I am a manager working the concession stand at a theater attached to a hotel/casino.)

    Cashier: *over radio* “Manager to register two.”

    (I head over. The cashier has a customer at her station who looks angry.)

    Me: “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, this b**** stole my money! I paid with a hundred and she only gave me change for a fifty! I want my f****** money back!”

    Me: “Alright. Did you see what she did with the bill?”

    Customer: “Yeah! She put it below the counter!”

    (We are only allowed to keep bills $10 and smaller in the till itself. All larger bills go into a lockbox right below the cash register. I walk behind the desk and point to the lockbox.)

    Me: “She put it in here?”

    Customer: “Yeah! Now give me the rest of my money!”

    (I unlock the lockbox and remove it from its position, placing it on the counter in front of the customer. I then open it to reveal three $20 bills, and one $50 bill, which is the last bill deposited.)

    Me: “Well, sir, it looks like the last bill deposited was a fifty. Is it possible you simply forgot which bill you paid with?”

    (At this point, I know he’s lying. The cashier is one of my best employees, and the evidence is stacked against him.)

    Customer: “NO! I PAID WITH A F****** HUNDRED! I WANT MY F****** MONEY!”

    Me: “Alright, sir. If you’re that adamant, I’ll call the casino’s security.”

    Customer: “Good!”

    Me: “I just don’t like calling them. They’re so harsh about fraud. I mean, they drag people into the back room just for TRYING…”

    (The color drains out of the customer’s face.)

    Customer: “That… that’s a myth…”

    Me: “I wish it were, sir. I wish it were. Let call them.”

    (I pull my radio up, but he stops me.)

    Customer: “You know what; it’s not worth the hassle.” *to the cashier* “Enjoy the tip, b****.”

    (The customer storms off as fast as he can towards his theater.)

    Related:
    Getting All Hancocked Over A Benjamin

    Only Slipping On The Truth

    | New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (It is about 11 pm in a grocery store. I am the supervisor on duty. It is just me, cleaning the customer service counter, and one cashier working a register. An elderly customer ambles up to the checkout lane.)

    Cashier: “Hey, ma’am. How are you tonight?”

    Customer: “Oh, I’m just- AHHHHHHHH!” *waves her arms dramatically and hops backwards.* “Oh, my gosh, honey. There’s a HUGE puddle of water there! Oh, I slipped. I think I hurt something! Oh, my hip!”

    Cashier: “Really? Are you okay?”

    Customer: “Oww, my hip! Oh, I think I strained something! Get me your manager right now!”

    (The cashier pages the manager to the register.)

    Manager: “Oh, my goodness, ma’am. What happened?!”

    Customer: “There was a huge puddle of water! I slipped and I hurt my back! Oh, gosh. It hurts!”

    Manager: *to cashier, who is wiping the floor with paper towels that are remaining suspiciously dry* “Ring up her groceries for me, please.” *to the customer* “Here, ma’am. Have a seat. Please, tell me exactly what happened.”

    Customer: “Oh, there was all this water, and I slipped like this.”

    (The customer makes exaggerated lunges, trying to demonstrate how she fell.)

    Customer: “Oh, it was awful. My hip hurts! Oh, I threw out my back! Oh, it hurts!”

    (The customer makes more movements an injured person would be quite incapable of making.)

    Customer: “I’ll be contacting my lawyer!”

    Manager: “I see. Here’s my store and my personal information. Please give me yours as well, and we’ll be in touch. I’m terribly sorry about this. I hope you make it home alright.”

    (The customer ambles out to her car, shouting ‘oh, my back!’ the entire way.)

    Manager: “I need written statements from both of you. Good thing we have this on camera.”

    Cashier: “Do you think she’ll sue?”

    Manager: “I hope so. I’m putting her a** in jail if she does.”

    Dog-Gone Cruelty Will Make Your Dogs Gone

    | IA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a shelter, mostly doing paperwork. To drop off an animal with us there is a $20 surrender fee. This information is posted right on the door. People often try to get around the fee. They will either tie animals to the front door, leave them in a box, or take them around back and drop them over the five-foot high fence surrounding the exercise yard. One morning a member of staff finds two fluffy toy breeds wandering around the yard. One is limping, presumably from the drop. Any stray not claimed in two weeks is spayed/neutered, health checked, given shots, then placed up for adoption. These two are not claimed and are quickly adopted into new homes. Five weeks after they have been dropped off…)

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up my dogs.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. Can you tell me, what is the name on your application papers?”

    Customer: “Oh, I didn’t fill any of those out last time I was here. I was in too big of a hurry. Just tell me what the cost is so I can get my dogs and go home.”

    Me: “Okay. Why don’t you go to the back and look at the dogs. I’ll get the paperwork started then?”

    (In a few minutes, the customer comes storming back.)

    Customer: “WHERE ARE MY DOGS?! What kind of boarding kennel is this, giving away my dogs?”

    Me: “I’m not understanding you, ma’am. What do you mean?”

    Customer: “The lady back there said my dogs aren’t here. I dropped off two [toy breed] dogs five weeks ago when I went on vacation and now they are gone. Where are they?”

    (A light clicks. I realize she is talking about the two abandoned toy breeds that were found in our yard. I try to explain that we are not a boarding kennel, what happened to them, and that they had been given new homes. The customer does not want to listen to anything I have to say. After screaming obscenities at me for a good ten minutes, she turns and leaves. She returns later with a police officer in tow.)

    Customer: “Her, there behind the desk. I dropped my dogs off here at the boarding kennel. They made my dogs useless by fixing them and then sold them. I demand that you arrest her for damage of property and theft! This is the worst boarding kennel I have ever seen.”

    Me: “Ma’am, again, this is not a boarding kennel. We—”

    Customer: “Shut it. I don’t want to hear it, you stupid b****!”

    Me: “If you will excuse us for one minute, we will see what we can do.”

    (Motioning to the officer, I manage to get him alone in the back office. I show him the video feed of the two dogs being dropped over the fence. I make him a quick copy of the video and send him off with it. We return to the front.)

    Officer: “Ma’am, will you come with me down to the station, please?”

    (The customer smirks at me until the officer takes her by the arm and leads her to the back of his car.)

    Customer: “What are you doing? I want my dogs back! Arrest her, not me!”

    (They drive off. Later I found out that she was charged with animal cruelty for dropping them over the fence and letting them get hurt when she did, animal neglect for simply dropping them off and not making sure they would be cared for, and two counts of contempt of court for yelling at and spitting on the judge for siding with ‘that d*** boarding kennel.’)

    That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket, Part 2

    | UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Military, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a customer. I witness an argument at one of the tills over a false label on an expensive cricket set. It appears as though the label has been attached by the customer. It is obviously written in green felt tip and not real.)

    Customer: “Why won’t you give me the discount?”

    Employee: “Because this is obviously a fake label.”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A SCAM ARTIST! GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

    (The employee fetches a manager.)

    Manager: “Sir, we are not going to sell you a set that costs £189.99 for only £15. This is obviously not a real label.”

    (The customer takes a bat out of the pack and raises it in a threatening motion.)

    Customer: “GIVE IT TO ME FOR FREE OR I’LL BREAK YOUR SKULLS!”

    (Suddenly, out of nowhere, a random customer who is just walking past grabs the bat. He moves it round the unruly customer’s shoulder, flooring the bad customer and disarming him in one motion. The random customer goes right up to his face.)

    Random Customer: “Buddy, you ain’t gonna get s*** unless you calm down and learn to be an honest man instead of a p***k. F*** off.”

    (The unruly customer gets up and runs off, only to be grabbed by security and arrested a few minutes later. The good customer was given a £100 gift card and was even offered a job as a security guard! He declined, saying it was his duty to be a good citizen. I found out he was an ex-colonel in the British army and had been in tougher situations than that.)

    Related:
    That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket

    They Stole Her Precious

    | Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Top

    (Having been married just one month, I am very precious and careful with my wedding ring. I take it off only to wash my hands. I’m in a shopping mall bathroom and have just taken my ring off and set it on top of my bag next to me. At the sink next to me is a girl about the age of 12.)

    Girl: “Hey mum! Look what I found!”

    Mum: *in a loud whisper* “Put that in your pocket! Show me later!”

    (They begin to leave. I reach for my ring and find it gone! I see the girl just shoving my ring into her pocket with a big smile on her face.)

    Me: “Hey! Excuse me! I think you have something of mine!”

    Mum: “Mind your own business!” *to her daughter* “Keep walking, honey.”

    (They both flee the bathroom, but I follow and yell.)

    Me: “Stop! Hey! Give it back!”

    Girl: “No! It’s mine, b****!”

    Mum: “You leave my baby alone!”

    (I start to cry. With the mum yelling at me, the chaos brings a security guard running over.)

    Mum: “Thank God! This b**** is trying to steal my baby girl’s ring!”

    Me: “No, no, it’s my wedding ring. I took it off for a moment and she took it!”

    Girl: “She’s lying! It’s mine!”

    Guard: “Enough!” *to me* Do you have any proof it’s yours?”

    (I’m still crying and try to describe it, but the girl and her mum keep screaming over me. The guard has to yell at them to get them to quiet down. At last, he looks at my long thin fingers, and the girl’s very short chubby ones, and he winks at me.)

    Guard: “Okay, tell you what. Whoever the ring fits, that’s who it belongs to.”

    (The guard forces the girl to hand it over, with the mum screaming the whole time. Of course, the ring doesn’t get anywhere near fitting her, and is a perfect fit on me. The guard calls the police and they both get banned from the store. My husband and I are still very good friends with the guard; in fact, he’s marrying my husband’s sister next year!)


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