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  • Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Sharing His Alcohol Problem

    | AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s about 1 pm when a clearly drunk and staggering man approaches me in the store. I am also a customer.)

    Customer: “Hiya, pretty lady. Wanna go for a drink with me?”

    Me: “Um… no, thank you. I’m very busy today and am happily married!”

    Customer: “Well… too bad for you!”

    (Moments later at the registers, I am in line with couple of customers behind me. The drunken customer stumbles up to them.)

    Customer: “Do ya mind if I butt in line ‘ere?”

    Other Customer: “Sorry, man. We were here first and the wait really isn’t that long.”

    Customer: *pointing at me* “I just wanna stand next to her!”

    (At this point I am having my things rung through at the till and exchange a worried glance with the cashier.)

    Cashier: *to the drunken customer* “You wait your place in line, sir! Just like everybody else!” *quietly, to me, handing me my purchases* “You go on and get out of here. I’m sending someone out to get his plate number ‘cause he drove here and is clearly pretty intoxicated. Have a nice day. We’ll handle the creep!”

    (I leave pretty quick and the drunk customer tries to follow me out, but is stopped by the manager. I didn’t hear what happened, but I am sure thankful the staff was keeping an eye out that afternoon!)

    Won’t Get To Hear The High Notes

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Wild & Unruly

    (I work event security for part time work. Usually it’s pretty mellow, and I just tell people they can’t bring in outside food and beverages. This event is a huge dub-step concert, and it is widely known that most people will try to sneak ‘stuff’ (like drugs) in by the strangest ways. There are a few giveaways when we think someone is trying to sneak stuff in. I notice a tall, skinny guy in his early 20s walking a bit off and see that his eyes are bloodshot.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. How are you doing today?”

    Guest: “Uh, I’m fine…”

    (The guest pauses and starts walking away with a worried look on his face.)

    Me: “Hold on one second. I noticed you were walking a bit off. Are you doing all right?”

    Guest: “Oh, yeah, haha. I’m okay, I guess. It’s just hot, and uh, yeah.” *continues to try to walk away*

    Me: “Just out of curiosity, you wouldn’t happen to be trying to hide any contraband to bring inside the venue, would you?”

    Guest: “Pft! F*** no. F*** that s***. F*** you for assuming that. Is it because I’m white?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m white, too… Since you don’t have anything on you, you wouldn’t mind if one of our K-9 units sniffed you, right?”

    Guest: *still looking worried* “I don’t have to f****** do that! F*** you, lady!”

    Me: “And I don’t have to let you in. Here’s what I’m going to do. Whatever it is you have on you, give it up now, all of it, and I’ll let you go into the venue with no consequences. If you do not give it up right now, I can have you arrested for possession. This is your only free pass. Take it or leave it. Which will it be?”

    (I see him contemplating this, which is just another give-away.)

    Guest: “I don’t have nothin’ on me, b****, so take that.”

    (At this point I have him step off to the side while an officer with a K-9 unit comes over.)

    Me: “Last chance for a free pass, man. All you have to do is surrender whatever it is you are hiding, and I’ll let you go in and have fun. You paid a lot of money to come here. Is it worth not going in just to hold onto some stuff?”

    Guest: “F*** you, b****. I don’t have nothin’ on me. I just want to go inside and have fun.”

    Me: *sigh*

    (Almost as soon as the K-9 gets near us, he makes his motions and sounds indicating he is picking something up.)

    Officer: “Sir, what do you have on you?”

    Guest: “F*** off, a**hole. I just want to go inside.”

    Officer: “I know you have something. Do you want me to find it the easy way or the hard way?”

    Me: *puts on latex gloves, dramatically snapping the wrist as if I’m ready for a cavity search*

    Guest: “Oh, you mean like drugs? Yeah, I forgot I lent these shorts to a friend, and he, uh, must have left some stuff in the pockets without me remembering. I don’t do that s***.”

    (The officer and I look at each other, rolling our eyes and trying not to laugh.)

    Officer: “Sir, can you empty your pockets, please?”

    (The guest reaches into the back of his shorts, pulls a small baggie from his rectum containing packaged heroin, Molly, Ecstasy, and cocaine, throws it at me, and tries to walk away. The officer and I stop him.)

    Guest: “WHAT THE F***, YOU B****! YOU SAID I COULD F****** GO IN IF I GAVE YOU THE F****** DRUGS!”

    Me: “Yes, and you denied that you had anything. I let you know that if you didn’t give it up, you would be arrested for possession.”

    Guest: “I JUST GAVE IT UP, B****!”

    Me: “After your free pass expired…”

    (He continued to curse at me while the officer and I walked him over to the security tent to get booked. We let him know he would not be arrested, but that he was no longer allowed to enter the venue, that his ticket would be confiscated, that he would be walked off the property, and that if he was found back on the property he WOULD be arrested for trespassing. I walked him off the property as he continually mumbled that I was a ‘f****** b****.’ Since I’m a female, the officer trailed behind to make sure I didn’t have any more problems. I started to walk back in when the guest runs up behind me, and punches me square across the face. Only seconds later, the dog was on him. All I got was a bruise on my cheek and a laugh about his stupidity. He got arrested for trespassing, assaulting me, and for the smorgasbord of drugs that were currently in his system.)

    A Potentially Arresting Development

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I’m working behind concessions. We’re an independent theater so we offer beer and wine along with the usual items.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can I have a [Beer], please?”

    (I usually try to figure out if I need to ask for ID by seeing if they have grey hair or any kind of age marks, but this guy has a shaved head and a fairly youthful face.)

    Me: “Okay. Can I see some ID please?”

    (The guy pulls out his wallet. That’s when I spot his badge. My eyes go wide.)

    Customer: “I’m glad you asked. I didn’t want to have to arrest you.”

    (He pays for his beer and goes off to his movie. To this day, I’m not completely sure if he was kidding about arresting me.)

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 6

    | Brighton, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a waitress at a café. We have a really moody customer who just keeps complaining about everything. He asks for the manager but our owner, who is usually really sweet, kind, and caring, goes out to him. The customer and his daughter are sitting at our pavement area. I follow to clear some tables.)

    Owner: “Sir, I’ve been told there’s a problem. How can I help?”

    Customer: “It’s ridiculous! I wanted a can of drink and you only have bottles; my sandwich was so over-filled half of it fell out when I bit it; and my daughter’s milkshake is so cold she can’t drink it! We asked for…”

    (Just then we hear shouting coming from another restaurant about 10 doors down.)

    Other Café: “Stop him! Stop the kid on the bike! He stole my bag!”

    (My boss suddenly flings her arm out and smacks the kid on the bike in the face with the tray she’s holding, sending him flying off his bike, with the stolen bags around his wrist. Everyone just stops what they’re doing and stares, silently. The other café customers come running and we soon hear police sirens. My boss then turns to the grumpy customer.)

    Owner: “You were saying, sir?”

    Customer: “Er… you know what? It’s a bit crazy now. I think we’ll just go…”

    Related:
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 5
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 4
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 3
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 2
    Getting Owned By The Owner

    Good Thing He Didn’t Hit The Ceiling

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes into the store. He has a jacket bunched up under his arm. I notice him looking up at the ceiling and approach him to see if he needs help. He doesn’t so I head to the counter. He is still looking at the ceiling and then back at me. I call a coworker over.)

    Me: “That guy is freaking me out. He’s up to something.”

    Coworker: *heads over* “Hi,. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “No, just looking.”

    Coworker: “Can I check what you have wrapped in your jacket?

    (The customer unwraps the jacket to show that he has a black hair brush with a round hollow handle. Then he leaves the store. I head out for lunch and am sitting in a fast food place when I see the man come out of the toilet area. He again is looking at the ceiling and then around the restaurant. He sees me looking at him and quickly leaves. He still has that jacket under his arm, he heads to another fast food place. Again he notices me noticing him. I head back to work.)

    Me: *to coworker* “I saw that guy again. He was acting suspiciously in [Fast Food Place] but as soon as he saw me he left. He was checking out the locations of the cameras, which is what he was doing here, too. I think that he was going to pretend he had a gun. The end of that brush could be mistaken for one.”

    Coworker: “Yeah. We discussed it while you were gone and came to the same conclusion. I went down to the store that I saw him come out of and they had also noticed him checking out their cameras.”

    (There were no reported robberies in the area. We were ready with our surveillance recordings if there were.)

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