Category: Criminal/Illegal

No Discount Requires A Recount

, | UT, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(I am standing in line. There are two gentlemen in front of me who are together being helped by the cashier.)

Cashier: “Okay, your total is $36.74.”

(This total catches my attention, as this place has a high value-per-dollar. In spite of having a more-than-ample appetite myself, I can always fill up for under $6, so I am curious what two men are going to do with six people’s worth of food.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s too much. Is [Manager #1] here?”

Cashier: “Uh… I don’t know anyone by that name.”

Customer: “Really? [Manager #1] is a manager. He always gives us discounts. Can you just give us a discount?”

Cashier: “Uh… no, I really can’t.”

Customer: “Well, where’s [Manager #1]?”

Cashier: “I really don’t know. I can get a manager if you like.”

Customer: “Yeah, we want to know where [Manager #1] is.”

Cashier: “Hey, [Manager #2]!”

(Manager #2 is out of earshot, so a line cook has to relay the shout farther back in order for her to hear. She has clearly been too far away to know anything about the conversation that just transpired. Manager #2 arrives at the register.)

Manager #2: “Yes, [Cashier]?”

Cashier: “These—”

Customer: *interrupting* “Where’s [Manager #1]?”

Manager #2: “Oh, he doesn’t work here anymore.”

Customer: “Oh, really? What happened?”

Manager #2: “Yeah, apparently he kept giving out discounts to people who’d done nothing to earn them, so we had to fire him.”

(Another register opened to help me, so I didn’t hear the end of their discussion, but when I sat down with my order, they were two tables down with about $10 worth of food.)

Convicted Of Stupidity

| Finland | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

(A customer walks in the store and proceeds to the counter.)

Customer: “I’m so glad they arrange you folk some proper jobs.”

(She then walks into the store, leaving me puzzled with her comment. She returns in a bit with a product.)

Me: “That’ll be €25.99. Cash or card?”

Customer: “Don’t take this wrong, but I don’t want to give my credit card to a convict.”

Me: “A convict? I assure you I’ve never had any problem with the law.”

Customer: “Why do you have bars in the windows, then?”

Me: “Our insurance company insists on having them so you can’t get in by just breaking a window.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(I’ve never seen anyone with such a bright red face before!)

Interlocked Into That Price

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

(A customer comes in who has an “interlock” on his car, which is a system the courts here put on cars of people who get convicted of drink driving. The interlock will only allow the driver to start their car once they blow in a breath test and get a nil alcohol reading. I am nearly finished checking this customer’s car in when he advises me of this.)

Customer: “Yeah, so, my car has an interlock on it, just so you know”.

Me: “Ah, ok. Well, thanks for letting us know and due to this there will be an additional $25 fee on top of your parking total”.

Customer: “What?! That’s ridiculous! Why?”

Me: “Because, sir, due to the interlock you will have to park your car yourself in our facility and our staff will be unable to move your car at all until you return, which does make it harder for us to get to any other cars behind yours.”

(Customers has a grumble about this, and asks to speak to my supervisor, who tells him the exact same thing I have.)

Customer: “Why can’t you just blow in my interlock when you need to move it? Are you afraid you’ll get a positive reading? Do you drink at work or something?”

Supervisor: “No, sir. Not that that is your business but I DON’T drink at work and I will NOT blow into your interlock for OH&S reasons.”

(Customer finally agrees to pay the $25 fee but has to have the last word.)

Customer: “I think this is ridiculous; you guys certainly know how to milk the money out of people!”

Me: “Well, I guess it just doesn’t pay to drink and drive, does it, mate?”

Drive Straight Thru His Lie

| Metairie, LA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I work at a restaurant that is always closed on Sundays. Like, it has been every single week since the 1940s when it opened. One Sunday afternoon our restaurant owner is in the parking lot doing some work on our flower beds and someone drives up to the drive-thru speaker:)

Customer: “Hello? HELLOOOOOOO! ANSWER ME! Son of a b****! This is OUTRAGEOUS!”

(The restaurant owner calmly walks over to the customer in the car, and says:)

Owner: “Hello, sir, is everything all right?”

Customer: “NO! I JUST came through the drive-thru and paid over $30 for my meals, and I got ALL THE WAY HOME and realized that they left out my number one meal! I DEMAND that you give me my meal for free AND refund my whole order because my family is waiting on me at home and ALL OF OUR FOOD IS GOING TO BE COLD! I will not pay for this!”

(The store owner, who loves to catch people in a lie, just kept asking more questions.)

Owner: “So you’re telling me you were JUST here?”

Customer: “Yes! And I got all the way home and YOU left my meal out of the bag!”

Owner: “I see. Do you have your receipt? Or your bag with your food? I’d be happy to replace all of your meals for you if you have the receipt.”

Customer: “NO! I left them at home with my other food! Can you get them to hurry up? I need to get back home because my family is waiting on me!”

Owner: “So you’re sure you were JUST here? At THIS restaurant?”

Customer: “YES! God, what is wrong with you people?! I was here like 15 minutes ago, in THIS drive-thru!”

Owner: “Well, sir, I just wanted to let you know I know for a fact that you weren’t here 15 minutes ago getting food.”

Customer: “…what?”

Owner: “See, I’m the owner of this restaurant, and we’ve been closed every single Sunday since we opened. There is no one inside right now, and there hasn’t been anyone inside all day. So there’s no way you got your food here 15 minutes ago, I have your vehicle on our parking lot surveillance, and I want to kindly ask you never to come back to my establishment again!”

(The guy then sped out of the parking lot!)

The Customer Is Damaged

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal

(I notice that a customer has been hovering in the back corner of my store for a while, so I go see if she needs any help.)

Me: “Hi there! Can I help you at all today?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, I… Uh… Found this handbag. It’s… damaged and I want a… discount on it. It’s torn in this corner here… One moment…”

(As she is saying this, I see her trying to forcibly tear a corner of the handbag, which otherwise has no damage. It is already heavily reduced to 80% off, as it’s on clearance, and does not cost much at all. She is forcibly trying to tear it right in front of me with as much force as she can muster.)

Me: *snatches the bag from her* “Well, ma’am, if you forcibly tug on it, it will break, and there won’t be a further discount, and you will have to buy it. People who deliberately break stock are also not welcome back, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Oh… Oh, well, then… Never mind.”

(She slowly and sadly walked out of the store, as if to see if I would change my mind and let her break it and give her a discount. I didn’t. I, thankfully, never saw her again.)

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