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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Your Scamming Days Are Numbered

    | VA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Technology

    (I’m working in a cell phone customer service call center. We can see the number the customers are calling from.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; this is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like to report a phone that was stolen.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. What’s the number?”

    (The customer gives me the exact same number of the phone the customer is calling from.)

    Me: “Uh, sir. That’s the number that you are on.”

    Customer: “S***!” *hangs up*

    Receipted All That Was Coming To Her

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Themed Giveaway, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a large retail store. A customer is just about to approach my register, when my counter phone rings. It is security.)

    Security: “For this customer, just allow the return, then step away from my counter.”

    (That is all they tell me. The customer then approaches.)

    Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”

    (The customer hands me an expensive bedding set.)

    Customer: “Yes, I would like to return this, please.”

    (I look at the receipt, and notice it was paid by cash.)

    Me: “Okay, one moment, ma’am.”

    (I process the return, give her the cash, and step away from my register as if to tidy shelves nearby. The customer walks away, and two minutes later my coworker from another department runs over and grabs me by the arm.)

    Coworker: “What in the world just happened? Are you all right!?”

    Me: “I’m fine. What’s going on?”

    Coworker: “Security and the police just tackled your customer into the lingerie displays!”

    (It turns out the customer was a scammer that would come in with just a receipt, pick up the item from the shelf that matched the receipt while a worker was busy, and then return the ‘bought’ item for cash. The customer had done this to 12 other stores before us. She was tackled when trying to run, after being confronted by the police.)

    Will Have To Bite The Bullet

    | New Orleans, LA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Themed Giveaway

    (I am working customer service at a big box store. A customer comes up with a box of bullets. Store policy and law states that ammunition cannot be returned for any reason. This is clearly printed on the bottom of the receipt, surrounded by a double box of asterisks.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to bring back these bullets; they’re the wrong caliber.”

    (The customer hands me the receipt.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but all ammunition is non-refundable. It says right here—”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want my money back; I just want to get the right ones.”

    Me: “I understand, but we can’t take ammo back under any circumstances. It’s store policy and the law.”

    Customer: “No, no, no! The guy who sold them to me said if they were the wrong size I could come back and exchange it!”

    Me: “No, he didn’t. There are three signs in sporting goods that clearly say you cannot return ammo. On the ammo case, behind the counter, and taped to the counter itself. It’s also clearly marked here on the bottom of your receipt. There is no way any associate in this store would tell you such a thing because it is against the law.”

    (The customer leans over on the counter, in my face.)

    Customer: “Are you calling me a LIAR?!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I am.”

    (Clearly not expecting that answer, the customer stumbles his words a bit.)

    Customer: “So… so what? I’m out by $30 and stuck with bullets I can’t use?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, you are.”

    Customer: “F***!”

    (He snatches the receipt from my hand, and his bag of ammo, and storms off.)

    The Joke Is On (And In) Him

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Themed Giveaway

    (I work in a party and joke item store. Our policy for backpacks is you have to leave them at the front door, no matter what. I stop three kids as they enter.)

    Me: “Excuse me, you have to leave your backpack at the front by the door.”

    (Two of the kids put their bags up front. The third pretends he didn’t hear me.)

    Me: “You have to put your backpack up front.”

    Kid: “What? Why? Someone’s going to steal it if I leave it up front.”

    Me: “I doubt anyone will want your backpack, but if it bothers you that much, write your name on a slip of paper and I’ll attach it to the bag.”

    Kid: “F*** no. I’m not going to steal anything. You a**holes always think I’m going to steal something.”

    Me: “The policy is that you put your bag up front. No one is immune to that policy. I don’t care if you’re an elderly man with a bag of candy; you still put it up front.”

    Kid: “Man…”

    (The kid gets annoyed and drops his bag at the door, and then stomps off after his friends. Thirty minutes later, he comes back.)

    Kid: “See? I didn’t steal s***!”

    (As soon as the kid picks his bag up, a plastic knife drops from his pants pocket, along with a pirate’s gold tooth, and a rubber mask slides halfway from under his shirt.)

    The Real Government Would Take Your Money

    | AL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Themed Giveaway

    (I work at a federal airport operations center, answering the phones.)

    Me: “This is the TSA Coordination Center for [Airport]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “This is the federal government calling to tell you that you’ve won a $5000 dollar grant.”

    Me: “The federal government?”

    Caller: “Yes, you’ve won a $5000 dollar grant!”

    Me: “This is the TSA coordination center; a government operated center. Who is this? What’s a good call-back number?”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    (The phone line for the next number in sequence starts ringing. Guess who it was?)


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