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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    You Got The Wrongest Number, Part 7

    | Mercer County, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I work for a franchise of a major cell phone company in the US.)

    Customer: “I just had a woman call me on my cell phone. Can you look up her information and tell me her last name and address?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but unless you are listed on the account as an authorized user I cannot give away any personal information.”

    Customer: “Well then, can you add me as an authorized user so I can see her address?”

    Me: “No, sir, only the account holder can add or remove authorized users.”

    Customer: “Well she called me and I want to find her; what can I do?”

    Me: “Call her back?”

    Customer: “I can’t do that; after she gave me her name she realized it was a wrong number and hung up!”

    Me: “So let me get this straight, you want me to look up a customer’s number, add you as an authorized user, give you her name and address, and you don’t even know her?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Sir, you need to leave.”

    Related:
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 6
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number

    A Large Order Of Lazy With A Side Order Of Crazy

    | Levittown, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (It is the Friday before Christmas. Our restaurant has received a large amount of catering orders for office parties. A customer orders 50 breaded wings to be delivered at lunch time. About an hour after the food is sent, the customer calls back.)

    Customer: “This is [name], from [company]. I’m calling about our lunch order.”

    Me: “Okay, I see here in our system that you received your food about an hour ago. Was there an issue with the food?”

    Customer: “Yes there was!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. What exactly was the problem?”

    Customer: “THE SAUCE WAS ON THE SIDE!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “The d*** sauce for the wings was on the side, not on the wings! This is disgusting!”

    Me: “Well, I’m so sorry that you weren’t satisfied. However, with breaded wings our restaurant always puts the sauce on the side. If we had put the sauce on top of the wings, by the time you received them, the breading would have been soggy and mushy. Unless you had specifically asked for the sauce to be on the wings, we had no way to know that is how you wanted them.”

    Customer: “This is a disgrace! I’m so disgusted with you. Your chef needs to be fired immediately! I’m absolutely humiliated in front of my employees. You’ve caused me to lose their respect, and I’m so disgusted that I wasn’t even able to eat my own lunch. This is absolutely absurd. I’ve ordered these wings a hundred times from [other restaurant], and they’ve NEVER done anything so horrible to me!”

    (The other restaurant she mentioned is actually our sister restaurant. The names are different, but the same man owns the business, their recipes are identical, and the managers of the two separate restaurants are brothers.)

    Me: “Well, I know for a fact that they sell their wings in exactly the same format.”

    Customer: “DON’T YOU LIE TO ME YOU B****! I’VE BEEN A CUSTOMER THERE FOR YEARS; THEY DO NOT! [Owner] would never do that to me!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, [owner] is the brother of my boss. The two restaurants are owned by their older brother, and the recipes are identical. In fact, I’m guessing the reason you called us is because you couldn’t get through to that restaurant?”

    Customer: “Y-yes, how did you know that?”

    Me: “Because they are currently closed for renovation. In fact, [other restaurant's owner] is standing about ten feet away from me. Would you like me to get him on the phone? I’m sure he’d be more than happy to explain his own standards to you!”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you; you’re a lying little b****! Don’t think you’ve heard the last of me!”

    (The customer calls back a few hours later. My boss has a nearly identical conversation with her. When he finally hangs up, he tells me we have lost a customer. Somehow, he doesn’t seem terribly broken up.)

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am a customer at a supermarket. I am pushing a trolley with my baby in the child seat. My top is a similar colour to the staff uniform, but a very different style.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, where are the vitamin waters?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Did you look down the soft drink aisle?”

    Customer: “You aren’t going to show me?”

    Me: “No, why would I do that?”

    Customer: “It’s your job! I’m going to talk to the manager about you!”

    Me: “I don’t work here; I’m just shopping.”

    Customer: “Don’t you lie to me! I saw you put that milk back; you’re re-stocking shelves and you just don’t want to help me!”

    (A manager walks past. The customer grabs him and drags him over.)

    Customer: “This woman refuses to help me!”

    Manager: “She doesn’t work here, so she doesn’t have to. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Of course she works here; she’s wearing your uniform! How dare you cover for her laziness! I’m reporting you to head office!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, look at her trolley; we don’t sell babies. She’s shopping; she does not work here. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh! Um… sorry. I was looking for the vitamin waters… sorry…”

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

    A Lack Of Water Can Put You In A Real Pickle

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (We currently have a 50% sale on our store water bottles. It is late in the day, and we have sold out. I am currently organizing the shelves with jars of pickles.)

    Customer: “Hi, I would like to know where the cases of your store water bottles are. I can’t seem to find them anywhere.”

    Me: “I am really sorry, but because of the sale we have unfortunately sold out of the water bottles. We should be getting more in tomorrow when the delivery truck comes in.”

    Customer: “What!? How can you be out of water! I want the water!”

    Me: “I am really sorry. Today is the last day of the sale, so many people came in to get them. You can go to customer service, and they will issue you a rain check. You can come back tomorrow and still get the sale.”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want a rain check! I want my d*** water now! I know you have them in the back stock somewhere! Stop being a lazy a**, and get me some water!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really am very sorry. We are completely out of water at the moment. If you came in a little earlier, we may have had some. It is almost the end of the day, and our other customers wanted to get the sale. The most we can do for you now is issue a rain check. You will just have to come back tomorrow. If you like, I can have a few cases held at the customer service desk for. They will be ready for you tomorrow.”

    Customer: “This is absolutely ridiculous! I want my d*** water now! Not tomorrow! NOW!”

    (Just as my manager is about to approach us after hearing the yelling, the customer takes her arm across the pickle shelf, and smashes about 12 jars of pickles to the ground. I am completely shocked and dumbfounded.)

    Customer: “There! That’s what you get for being a lazy a**, and not getting me my d*** water! I want my d*** water!”

    Manager: “Ma’am! There is absolutely no reason for you to damage our merchandise and put my employee’s safety at risk. You could have seriously cut someone with all of this glass!”

    Customer: “Well maybe if your lazy a** employees would do their jobs I wouldn’t have had to do that!”

    Manager: “Like my employee nicely told you, we are out of the water bottles. We are getting a shipment tomorrow. She was even willing to go out of her way to make sure to keep a case for you aside when we got them in. But, since you decided to take things into your own hands, you are no longer welcome in this store.”

    Customer: “I am the customer! You can’t do that! Give me my water!”

    Manager: “Well too bad; I just did!”

    (My manager calls security, and threatens to call the police if the customer doesn’t pay for all of the pickles. My manager then has her banned from the store without her water. I smelled like pickles for the rest of the night!)

    Donations Of Future Past

    | Gatineau, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests

    (I work as a cashier in a charity store. All of our merchandise is donated, so we have no idea what items we will have for sale until they are in the store.)

    Customer: “Do you have a blender?”

    Me: “No, unfortunately we do not have any right now.”

    Customer: “Okay, do you know when you will have some?”

    Me: “You know all of our merchandise is donated right?”

    Customer: “Yes, so when will have a have some blenders?”

    Me: “Well, I suppose that would be when someone within the community realizes they have a blender they don’t need, and brings it to us.”

    Customer: “Okay, so when will that be?”

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