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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    It’s No Trouble Causes You Trouble

    | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests

    (All week long, we’ve been giving away tickets to a concert on Saturday night. As our offices close at noon, I’ve been telling all the concert winners to be at the station before noon on Friday to pick up their tickets. I duck down to the station on Saturday morning to do some paperwork I’d fallen behind on, when the phone rings…)

    Caller: “Yeah, I just want to say you’re all a bunch of lying jerks! I won tickets to the concert tonight, and the stupid DJ said I had to come to the station AFTER noon on Friday to pick them up, and you were closed!”

    Me: “Are you sure, ma’am? I was the one giving away the tickets all week, and I was certain I told all the winners BEFORE noon on Friday.”

    Caller: “ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR? YOU SAID AFTER NOON ON FRIDAY! And I really wanted to go to this concert, too! You are the worst station ever for lying to your listeners like this!”

    Me: “Well, I have no doubt that some kind of miscommunication took place, and for that, I do apologize. But, you’re in luck. Because I’m here today putting in some overtime, you can come down to the station right now and pick up your tickets!”

    Caller: “Wait, what?”

    Me: “Yeah. The concert isn’t until tonight, and I’ve got nothing else to do today. I can gladly wait down here at the station for you to come get your tickets today.”

    Caller: “What? No… no… I live outside of town, and I didn’t want to come back into town today.”

    Me: “Oh, um, okay. I feel really bad about you not getting your tickets, so how about this: I’m just about done here. How about then if I hop in the company truck, and deliver the tickets to you?”

    Caller: “What? No! No. I live really far away, and I don’t want you to go through all that trouble.”

    Me: “As I said, ma’am, I’ve got nothing else to do today, and I’ve got a full tank of gas. Where do you live?”

    Caller: “No! Don’t go through all that trouble. I’m just disappointed because this was the first time I’d ever won anything.”

    Me: “Okay, then, how about this: on Monday morning, I’ll talk to my boss and see if we can arrange some kind of alternative prize. It won’t be time sensitive, like tickets, so you’ll be able to come down and pick it up whenever you like.”

    Caller: “No! Stop going through all this trouble for me!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m at a loss. I’m very sorry for the miscommunication that’s caused you to miss out on your concert. I’ve offered everything within my power to make it up to you, and you said no to everything. What can the station do to make this up to you?”

    Caller: “Well… I… um… bah! I wasn’t expecting anyone to actually be there working today! I just wanted to leave an angry voice mail complaining about the situation!”

    Me: “Would you like my boss’s voice mail so you can still make your complaint?”

    Caller: “Well, no! Not now. You’ve tried so hard to make it up to me, that it wouldn’t seem right.”

    Me: *sighs* “I’m transferring you to my boss’s voice mail.”

    (On Monday morning, after hearing the voice mail and listening to my tale, the boss actually reamed me out for being patient with her beyond human reason!)

    Heavy Lighter Reaction

    | Galveston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (Along the front of the register counter, we have boxes of novelty lighters for sale, the most popular of which are shaped like flip-flops. Everyone plays with them, ignoring the huge neon signs that state: ‘Please do NOT play with lighters!’ As a result, a number of them are empty and no longer work. A pair of teenage customers are waiting in line, while I ring up another customer.)

    Me: “Alright, your total is [total].”

    (As I hand the change to the customer, I notice one of the teenagers pick up a flip-flop lighter and start flicking it.)

    Me: “Please do NOT play with the lighters.”

    (The teenage customer huffs and drops it back into the box while muttering to her friend.)

    Customer: “Why not? I’m old enough!”

    Me: “It’s not a matter of age. If everyone ignores the signs and plays with the lighters, they become empty. And then no one will buy them.”

    (I ring up the teenager’s items, and give her the change.)

    Me: “Have a nice night!”

    Customer: “I’ll TRY. But I doubt I will because you were such a b****!”

    (The teenage customer then storms off, leaving all her stuff in the bag on the counter.)

    Me: “Don’t forget your bag!”

    Customer: “Ugh! This is why I hate shopping; everyone is like, so RUDE!”

    Size Matters On Sign Matters

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (It is my day off, but have to go into work to pick up some milk. On my way in, I notice several large signs on the doors informing customers that the debit/credit machines are down. As I stand in line, I hear customer and my coworker arguing.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! You should really put up a sign if your machines are going to be down.”

    Coworker: “There are signs on all the doors.”

    Customer: “Well I didn’t see them; you people should make them bigger!”

    Coworker: “They’re on all the doors, and are quite lar—”

    Customer: “They should be BIGGER!”

    Coworker: “Well how big do you need them, ma’am?”

    Customer: “BIGGER!”

    (At this point the woman throws her things on the counter and storms out, flipping off my coworker in the process.)

    Coworker: “I think it’s break time.”

    Death Goes Shopping

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Language & Words, Top

    (I am working behind the register on my first ever day of employment. It is also a particularly busy day. I am finalizing the purchase and handing the customer her bag…)

    Me: “Thank you for shopping at [Store]; have a nice day!”

    (The customer snaps her head up, gasping, while simultaneously dropping her bag of goods to the floor.)

    Customer:What did you say?”

    Me: “I thanked you for shopping here, and told you to have a good d—”

    Customer: “I know what you said! You told me to have a good DEATH!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you that I did not say anything of the kind.”

    Customer: “You DID! You DID and it’s YOU that should be dying, YOU B****! I can assure you that I’ll be taking this further!”

    (There is an unimpressed looking customer next in line.)

    Next Customer: “Lady, pick up your s*** and get out of here, or I’ll kill you myself.”

    A Price For The Devil To Pay

    | RI, USA | Crazy Requests, Religion

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss; could you help me?”

    Me: “Sure, what do you need?”

    Customer: “Could you change the price on this syrup? The unit price is $6.66, and I don’t want to buy the devil’s syrup.”

    Me: “I don’t think we can change the price at the store level. And I’m not sure that’s a valid reason to change a price.”

    Customer: “It doesn’t have to be much. Even just a penny would be fine. Could you ask your manager?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t think we can change the price on a national brand item. We have other kinds of syrup that are just as good if the unit price of that brand bothers you.”

    Customer: “No! I want that brand! I only eat that brand! And I want you to lower the price of that brand!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “I’m never shopping at this devilish place again! Everyone who works here is going to go straight to Hell for associating with the devil!”

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

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