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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    The Idea Has No Silver Lining

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a jewelry store that makes it’s own jewelry. Because of this, we can do custom jobs and jewelry repair. We get some crazy requests, things from witchcraft to erotic.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes! I’d like to get a custom piece made. I have the design and everything!”

    Me: “Alright. Can I see it?”

    (The customer hands me a large wingnut. The kind you buy in the hardware store for a quarter.)

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “I need about a dozen of these made, in silver!”

    Me: “You realize this isn’t very practical, and will be expensive, right?”

    Customer: “Oh, no! It’s a wonderful idea! That’s why I’m giving it to you! You can produce them, and you’ll make enough within a couple of months!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t think that’s true.”

    Customer: “But I’m giving you the idea, and you can just pay me back by giving me a dozen of them!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ll have to charge you about $100 to produce each one of these. I’m not giving you $1200 for this idea. I know it will not sell. If you want me to make them, I need to be paid, in cash, in full.”

    Customer: “It’s a great idea! You’ll be sorry you passed it up!”

    Cart Thief

    | Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (I am helping a customer load a large item into their truck. They will need twine to secure their large kennel.)

    Me: “Okay, I will be back with twine.”

    (When I come back out, I see that they have used my cart rope to secure their load.)

    Me: “You can’t use that; I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “It’s okay; we’ll bring it back.”

    Me: “No, I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “Let me talk to your manager.”

    (I get my manager.)

    Manager: “We have twine; the cart pushers need that to push their carts.”

    Customer: “Twine isn’t as good though.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry; I cannot claim liability. That is a device to secure carts; you cannot use that to safely secure loads. Please give it back.”

    Customer: “Okay, fine!”

    (I go to get my rope, but the customer just drives off! The next week is really busy, and we’ve run out of carts. This leaves the customers having to wait for cart pushers to bring back carts, or to go into the parking lot and find it themselves. We cannot send more than three cart pushers, because we do not have enough rope. I see the same customer waiting while I am taking a break.)

    Customer: “What is wrong with you! There are no carts! This is no time to stand around while people are waiting. How come you guys don’t know to send more people!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’ve been pushing carts for two hours, and I need to stay hydrated. And besides, someone, if you remember took our rope. Therefore, we can only send three people out to carts.”

    (The customer doesn’t know what to say. He gives me a dirty look, and starts to walk away. He runs into my manager.)

    Customer: “Your employee is accusing me of stealing your ropes! You guys are so incompetent! You can’t even get your s*** together and get carts!”

    Manager: “I told you last week to not take our ropes. Get out of my store; I don’t want to see you here anymore.”

    (The customer kicks a cart on the way out and speeds off. As he does, I can still see he hasn’t unloaded the kennel, and it’s still secured with the rope.)

    Aisle Be There For You

    | Marietta, GA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (My friend and I are grocery shopping. We have brought a shopping-list, but we still miss a couple of things.)

    Friend: “Oh, darn! I forgot to get orange juice! You just wait here. Don’t move; I’ll be right back.”

    (She hurries back to the refrigerated section. I wait for a while, and realize that she has left me at a bit of a bottleneck, blocking traffic. I know she’s going to take a while to chose an OJ, so I decide to go and get one of the other things we are missing. I head down the aisles, looking at the labels for trash bags. There’s an employee standing at the end of an aisle.)

    Employee: “Hi, are you finding everything?”

    Me: “I’m looking for trash bags. Where will I find those?”

    Employee: “Oh, yeah, it’s right at the end of this aisle on the left.”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Employee: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Me: “Actually, yes. So I’m helping my friend shop, and she told me to wait over there, but I’m going to get trash bags. In a little bit, she’s going to come around the corner and look lost, then annoyed, and then start searching aisles. Could you tell her where I went?”

    Employee: “Uh… Yeah, sure.”

    (A little bit later, my friend appears next to me with a look of confusion on her face.)

    Me: “You found me!”

    Friend: “Yeah… How did the employee know I was looking for you?”

    Say Neigh To Demanding Customers

    | ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Top

    (I work at a barn as a stable-hand, and keep my own horse there. My daughter comes to the barn after school, and if she helps with chores, I give her riding lessons on my horse. A customer approaches me while I’m giving her a lesson.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but what do you think you’re doing?!”

    Me: “Teaching my daughter how to ride.”

    Customer: “Well this is my daughter’s lesson time, and that’s her lesson horse!”

    (I pull out the lesson schedule.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there are no lessons scheduled for this time.”

    Customer: “Yes there is! Now you get that grubby child off my baby’s horse before I get the manager!”

    Me: “I’m not going to tell my daughter that she can’t ride my horse.”

    (The customer storms off, and comes back with the manager.)

    Customer: “There she is! That b**** right there put her grubby child on my daughter’s lesson horse, and won’t leave the ring so she can have her lesson.”

    Me: “I’ve tried to explain to you already that there are no lessons scheduled for the rest of the day. That’s my horse, and she certainly isn’t a lesson horse.”

    Customer: “Do you hear how disrespectful she’s being? I demand you fire her for being so rude to me.”

    Manager: “You want me to fire my best hand for letting her daughter ride her horse on her own time, when there are no lessons planned?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    I’m Afraid I Can’t Allow You To Speak To Dave

    | Manchester, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in the debt recovery department of a national mail order company. The department is small, and the only white men are our senior managers, neither of whom are connected to the telephone system in any way. All the other men are Asian, and have traditional Asian names. I am female, and have quite a high-pitched voice. About half an hour after dealing with a perfectly nice, male customer, he calls back and gets me again.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! You’re speaking to [My Name] again. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *yelling* “I was talking to Dave earlier, and he’s completely f***** everything up!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; you must be mistaken. You spoke to me earlier, and your payment plan was sorted out. We agreed to—”

    Customer: “I’ve never spoken to you! I spoke to Dave! I want you to transfer me to him so he can sort this s*** out!”

    Me: “Sir, please refrain from swearing. I can assure you, you did not speak to ‘Dave.’ There is no one here by that name. You spoke to me at [time] this afternoon.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a f****** liar?”

    Me: “Sir, please stop using language like that, otherwise I will have to terminate this call. I think you might be mistaking us for another company you may have called today. Not only is there no-one called ‘Dave,’ but my user ID is the only one to access your account in the last month, and I recall speaking to you earlier.”

    (The customer starts screaming so loud, I turn the volume down on my headset. My colleagues are getting distracted by the noise, and even my manager is peering over at me. Eventually he stops for breath.)

    Me: “Sir, there is no point in me lying to you, as you clearly don’t believe me. Why would I make my life and yours difficult by continuing to ‘lie’ to you? Also, the idea that I could be mistaken for a man is… Well, I don’t even…”

    (At this point, my colleagues are all either laughing, or trying not to because they’re on the phone to other customers. My manager’s eyes have gone wide.)

    Manager: “Hang up, and I’ll call him back.”

    (I do as I’m told. Two minutes later, my manager comes over, grinning widely.)

    Manager: “He admitted straight away he might have been wrong, and paid up.”

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