Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Toying With The Public

    | AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work for the municipal division of a road construction company. One part of my job is going out to sites, once the job has been completed, to take measurements for our quantities reports. To do this I use a measuring wheel tool. I am out measuring a sidewalk that has just been completed.)

    Pedestrian: “Aren’t you a little old to be playing with children’s toys?”

    Me: *confused* “Pardon?”

    Pedestrian: *gestures at the wheel* “That’s a toy for toddlers! With those bright colours and all the noise it makes!”

    (The wheel is fluorescent orange and black, and makes a ticking noise as the number of meters roll up.)

    Me: “Well, first, I’d like to say that you are never too old to play with toys. Second, this is a measuring wheel, and I am using it to record my company’s final quantities on the city sidewalk program. It’s a tool, not a toy.”

    Pedestrian: “What a horrible liar you are! Let’s see what your boss has to say about you playing with some kid’s toy on the job AND lying!”

    (With that she storms off. I continue my work. When I return to the office later that day my safety manager calls me to her office, as she deals with complaints. She was crying from laughing so hard.)

    Got The Wrong (Hair) Extension

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (My salon has had the weeks before Christmas booked out since way back in March. In mid-November, I take a phone call.)

    Caller: “I need a booking to get extensions, a full head of foils, and a cut, for Saturday the 21st of December.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have anything for the entire month of December.”

    Caller: “Great. So how’s 10 in the morning?”

    Me: “I’m really sorry. We just don’t have any appointments in December. The next appointment for what you need is on January 30th.”

    Caller: “Listen you stupid little cow. I SAID, the 21st of December, at 10. Grab your little appointment book and book me in with [Name]. I swear, she’s the only competent one of the lot of you!”

    Me: “You do realise I’m [Name], right?”

    Tree-ting The Request With Respect

    | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Two customers come in for lunch and want to eat outside on the deck. I take their order, bring it to them, and periodically check on them to make sure everything is going well. I come back again at the end of their meal.)

    Me: “So, how was everything? Would you like dessert, or would this be all for you ladies today?”

    Customer #1: “Everything was great, thank you.”

    Customer #2: “It was great, and I don’t want to sound rude, but I’m going to criticize.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Customer #2: “You’re on the river. You should be a fine dining establishment. You shouldn’t have the trees dropping pine cones and other stuff on the deck. And you should get rid of the spider webs.”

    (Customer #1 is looking at Customer #2 indicating that she would like her to shut up.)

    Me: “We clean the deck off a few times a week, but the wind has been picking up lately, and stuff keeps falling from the trees. Would you like me to ask the spiders if they would kindly stop building their webs on the deck every night also?”

    Customer #2: “If you would do that, that would be great!”

    Customer #1: “And I suppose you want her to ask the trees to stop dropping things on the deck too?”

    Customer #2: “Yes! Please do it!”

    (Fortunatel, Customer #1 apologized to me as soon as they were walking out the door.)

    I Don’t Work Here Does Not Work Here, Part 13

    | IN, USA | Crazy Requests

    (My roommate and I are doing some shopping at a popular supermarket chain. The employees wear red shirts with white name tags. My roommate works at a day spa and hasn’t changed out of her uniform yet, which is a black dress with a bronze name tag. As we are heading to check out, an elderly woman grabs my friend’s arm.)

    Woman: “Can you tell me where the house robes are?”

    My Roommate: “I’m sorry. I don’t know.”

    (The woman is still holding on to my friend’s arm, so my friend gently pulls herself loose.)

    Woman: “Excuse me! I asked you a question!”

    My Roommate: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I really don’t know where they are. I don’t work here.”

    (At this point, a store employee has noticed us and approaches.)

    Employee: “Can I help you ladies?”

    Woman: “This lady won’t help me find the house robes! She isn’t doing her job. I asked a simple question, and she’s ignoring me to hang out with her little friend instead. I want to speak to a manager.”

    Employee: “Ma’am, I don’t believe she works here.”

    Me: “She doesn’t.”

    Woman: “Well, then why is she wearing a name tag?”

    My Roommate: “I work at a day spa down the street and I haven’t had time to change out my uniform yet.”

    Woman: “Oh. How was I supposed to know that?”

    (She’s being very rude and I’m getting fed up with it.)

    Me: “Because her uniform looks absolutely nothing like his?”

    Woman: “Excuse me? I won’t be talked to like that.”

    Employee: “Ma’am, I apologize for this misunderstanding. If you’ll come with me, I’ll show you the—”

    Woman: “No! I want to see a manager! I want both of these girls fired!”

    My Roommate: “Neither of us work here!”

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 12
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

    To Their Credit, Cashiers Are Not Psychic

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I’m working at one of the express lanes in a big-box retailer. A woman and her husband approach with a full cart but since it is a slow night, I agree to take them. I scan everything they have, and the couple is overly chipper and pleasant until it comes time to pay.)

    Me: “Alright, you’re all set! It’ll be [price].”

    (The customer holds out her card.)

    Me: “Oh! Sorry, go ahead and swipe your card right here.”

    (I tap the credit card machine.)

    Customer: “Sheesh! Sorry! It’s been a long day! It’s going to be credit.”

    (The customer slides the card through.)

    Me: “Alright, then just hit cancel, and select credit.”

    (I hit the credit key on my side when she agrees to the amount and selects credit. She signs and then hits ‘OK.’ The receipt prints and I hand it to her.)

    Me: “Here you go! Have a nice night!”

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “Your receipt?”
    Customer: “Why are you giving me the receipt?! I wanted to pay a different way too!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, if you had informed me prior to sliding your card I could have processed it but—”

    (The customer slams her hands on the counter.)

    Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place!? Now I’m overdrawn!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I really am. I understand the problem but there’s nothing I can do. If I had known before hand I would have told you but you didn’t tell me you wanted to pay using more than one method.”

    Customer: “You should have known!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you can take your receipt to customer service and they can reverse the charge. I don’t know if it will help but the money will go back in a few days.”

    Customer: “This is stupid! You people need to anticipate our needs!”

    (The customer grabs the receipt and storms off towards customer services. Her husband just rolls his eyes at her and trails along with the cart. She demands that we pay her overdraft fees, throws a huge fit, and has to be dragged out by her husband!)

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