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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Trash Talking Your Service

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I work for a trash service. The customer I’m speaking with had an account several years ago that was cancelled due to non-payment. It still has a balance.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We cannot reactivate your account unless there is a zero balance.”

    Customer: “Well I only put out my trash once a month! I will only pay for once a month pickup! I will not pay that amount!”

    Me: “But once a month pickup is not a service we offer in any area.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I only put out my trash once a month! You are just trying to get more money out of me!”

    Me: “Okay, so let me get this straight: you want to pay for a service that doesn’t exist, only because you say it does?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Very Wrong About Being Right

    | IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (An irate caller is complaining about a billing problem that has been previously resolved by our billing specialists. He has received $50 in credits, but they will not apply until the next invoice is printed. At this time, we cannot edit already-printed invoices. The customer has been made aware of this twice per my co-workers’ notes. He does not want to wait.)

    Me: “Sir, you have been given the credits, but as you have been advised—”

    Caller: “I don’t care what I was told! Not by you, or your workers, or your managers or whoever! You are going to apply the f****** credits! The customer is always right!”

    b>Me: “I understand that you’re upset about our crediting system, but please refrain from using profanity.”

    Caller: “F*** you! The customer is always right!”

    Me: “If you continue to use profanity, I will have to end the call.” Caller: “The customer is always right!”

    Me: “Sir, we have no way—”

    Caller: “I AM THE CUSTOMER. AM. I. RIGHT?”

    Me: “No.”

    (There is a significant pause.)

    Caller: “I want your supervisor.”

    Me: “I can do that for you, but they will tell you the same thing.”

    Caller: “I want your supervisor!”

    (I get one of my supervisors, and transfer the customer over. The caller screams “THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!” at him for 15 minutes, and then hangs up.)

    Underwear For The Over-Aged

    | Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (A very old man is wandering around the section of the store where we display the ‘sexy’ lingerie pieces.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. Can I help you find something?”

    Old Man: “Yes. I’m looking for something that will lift her up and push her together up there. And I don’t want her to be covered up either. I want to be able to see everything. Do you have anything like that?”

    (I try to block out the image he’s creating for me.)

    Me: “Sure… let’s see what we can find.”

    (I show him a few different bras, and we finally find one that he seems satisfied with, and a matching panty. His lady-friend—who is nearly as old as he is—joins us. The old man hands her the bra he picked out.)

    Old Man: “Here, go try this on. I want to see if I like it or not.”

    (I walk them back to the fitting room, and go to help a few other customers. The man comes back toward me.)

    Me: “So, how did you like it?”

    Customer: “It was great. You did a lovely job, you sweet little thing. Now I need to find her a shirt that’s nice and open so you can see everything. I’m old, you know. I just want to have fun.”

    Me: “That’s… excellent, sir. Let me show you what we have.”

    (After I show him a few shirts, his lady-friend emerges from the fitting room.)

    Lady Friend: “Are we ready to go?”

    Customer: “I think this is good. You don’t have anything like this at home.”

    Lady Friend: “But all my bras are from this store! See?”

    (She lifts up her shirt to show everyone in the store the bra she is wearing. I am smiling to hold back the tears.)

    Me: “Ah yes, that is one of our bras. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Do you give a discount for perverts?”

    Me: “No, sir, sorry about that. Have a great day though!”

    Self-Serves Him Right

    | Rolling Prairie, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m off the clock at the fast food restaurant I work at. I’m waiting for my manager to get off, because I’m his ride home. My manager is the cashier, and there’s only one other employee besides me there. A customer walks up to the counter.)

    Manager: “Hi, what can I get you?”

    Customer: “I’ll have a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea, please.”

    Manager: “Okay, that’ll be [total].”

    (The customer pays, and his receipt is printed off.)

    Manager: “Your order number is 544, and it’ll be up shortly.”

    Customer: “Can I have my drink?”

    (My manager hands him a cup, since our drink station is self serve.)

    Customer: “There’s no tea in this.”

    Manager: “Yes, because our tea is self serve.”

    Customer: “I don’t do self serve. I don’t work here.”

    Manager: “So, let me get this straight, you want me to go out there and fill your cup up at our self-serve drink station?”

    Customer: “Yes, like I said, I don’t work here. I shouldn’t have to get my own drink.”

    (My manager turns to the other employee, who’s been listening to the entire conversation.)

    Manager: “Would you fill up his drink for him?”

    Employee: “No.”

    Manager: “Good answer.”

    (My manager turns back to the customer.)

    Manager: “Sorry, sir, but I can not fill your drink for you.”

    Customer: “Then give me my d*** money back.”

    Manager: “Okay, here is your money, sir. Have a good night.”

    Customer: “F*** you!” *walks away*

    Me: “In nearly four years of being here, I’ve never seen a customer not want to fill up their own drink.”

    Manager: “Same here.”

    Me: “Makes me wonder though; how does he get gas? There aren’t any full service gas stations off the interstate.”

    Manager: “Good point. Want a double cheese?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    Daylight Save Me From This Stupidity

    | NC, USA | Crazy Requests

    (We have a certain time by which all paper carriers should be finished. On weekdays, it’s 6:30 am.)

    Customer: “I need to make a complaint about my carrier! She’s late every morning now!”

    Me: “I do apologize. Is she delivering after 6:30 in the morning?”

    Customer: “Well, no. But ever since daylight savings, it’s light outside when I get may paper!”

    Me: “But she isn’t delivering after 6:30?”

    Customer: “No, but it’s light outside!”

    Me: “But the paper isn’t being delivered later in the morning?”

    Customer: “It’s at the same time it always is; it’s just too d*** bright!”

    Me: “…well, I’m very sorry to hear that, sir.”


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