• Done With You
    (795 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Do Not Not Speak(er) The Same Language

    | Scunthorpe, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

    Customer: “I’ve bought some car speakers and fitted them, but now there’s no sound from my stereo. Do you know what it might be?”

    Me: “I think you should go to the people you bought the speakers from and ask their advice. They’ve made money from you!”

    Customer: “I have, but they want to charge me!”

    Me: “And you think I don’t?!”

    (He left.)

    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 2

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the meat and seafood section of my store. My department closes at 10 pm, but the store itself is open until midnight. It is 10:15 pm and I am finishing cleaning when a customer approaches.)

    Customer: “Can I get two pounds of catfish?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re closed.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me. The doors aren’t locked, the lights are still on, and you’re still here. I want two pounds of catfish.”

    Me: “The store is open until midnight, yes. But my department closes at 10 o’clock.”

    Customer: “I thought I told you not to lie to me! That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard! The department closing before the store does; do you think I’m stupid or something?!”

    Me: *trying not to take the bait* “I’m afraid that’s just how it is, sir. Seafood counter closes at 10.”


    Me: “Yes, I can see that you’re standing right there. However, your standing there has no bearing on the time we shut down this department.”


    (I put a sign that says CLOSED on the counter. The customer screamed in inarticulate rage and punched my glass display case. He screamed again in pain and ran away clutching his hand, shouting about how he would sue me for assault.)

    Charged With Time-Wasting And Battery

    | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I work at a battery store, and one of the most popular items we have are reconditioned car batteries. I’m gladly closing up the store. I have my arm in a sling since I had dislocated my shoulder a few days before. Some customers roll up:)

    Customer: “We want a reconditioned battery.”

    (By the boss’s instruction, I was to keep the shop open and take care of customers when they came in. So, I get them rung up.)

    Customer: “And we want you to install it.”

    (This is a problem, because it is a Dodge Stratus, which means you have to take the wheel off the car to get to the battery.)

    Me: “Okay, but the surcharge will be [total].”

    Customer: “What! That is ridiculous. I won’t pay that much!”

    Me: “Then I can’t do it.”

    Customer: “Fine! But hurry up!”

    Me: “It will take a little longer because my arm is in a sling.”

    (After more arguing, I finally got started installing the battery. They all walked down the street to a convenience store. An hour and a half after closing, I got the job done, while they stood there and complained that I had taken so long.)

    The Oil Is Glistening But Someone’s Not Listening

    | Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (A man walks up to the service counter on a Thursday morning. He wants to make an appointment so he can bring his car in for an oil change.)

    Me: “The next available appointment for oil changes is Monday at 10:30.”

    Customer: “Do you have anything available this afternoon?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. We don’t. The next available appointment is Monday at 10:30 in the morning.”

    Customer: “How about tomorrow?”

    Me: “We don’t have any appointments available until Monday next week.”

    Customer: “Do you have openings this Saturday?”

    About To Get Charged With Low Battery

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I work for a security company that installs alarms into residences. I have received an alarm indicating the customer’s alarm system has a low battery so I’m calling to notify them.)

    Me: “This is your alarm company calling. May I speak to Mr. [Name]?”

    Customer: “What the h*** do you want?”

    Me: “Your alarm system sent us a low battery signal.”

    Customer: “Low battery? What the h*** does that even mean? Is someone trying to break in?”

    Me: “No, sir. It means the backup battery is low and needs to be changed.”

    Customer: “The alarm system is plugged in; there is no battery. Send the police. I think someone is tampering with the system.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to do that for you but—”

    Customer: “JUST SENT THE D*** COPS!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Will do.”

    (I explained the situation to the police department, and they weren’t too happy about having to respond to a low battery signal. They intended to make sure the customer learned the difference between an emergency signal and a low battery!)

    Page 92/224First...9091929394...Last