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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Should Have Read The Fine-Prints

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I’m a manager in retail. I am called to the photo section after a customer decides he doesn’t want some pictures, but then decides he should get them for free after finding out what a waste prints are.)

    Me: “So, these are the pictures you want, and these are the ones you don’t want?”

    Customer: “No, I want all those. The ones I don’t want are behind you.”

    Me: “Oh, so those are the waste prints.”

    Customer: “Yes. What do you do with those?”

    Me: “We destroy them.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Because pictures are private property. I have to assume you don’t want them shared with strangers, so we dispose of them.”

    Customer: “Can I have them for free, then?”

    Me: “If I sell them to you, sure.”

    Customer: “But you’re just going to destroy them.”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “So you should just give them to me for free instead of wasting them.”

    Me: “I can’t do that. That’s like handing items on the shelf out for free.”

    Customer: “But where’s the profit in just tearing them up?”

    Me: “Well, where’s the profit in giving them out for free?”

    Customer: “So, there’s no profit anyway. So, you should give them to me for free.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. Again, that’s like handing merchandise out for free. I can give them to you if I can sell them to you, though.”

    Customer: “No, that’s okay. Is Kathy here?”

    (Note: Kathy is my boss.)

    Me: “Nope, not today.”

    Customer: “Oh. Because if she were here, she’d give them to me.”

    Me: “That may be, but unless I hear it from her, I won’t give them out. If I start handing stuff out for free, I’m going to get in trouble.”

    Customer: “Oh no, don’t, I don’t want you to be in trouble, see, I’m a preacher!”

    Me: “Well that’s good! I don’t want to be in trouble, either!”

    Better Make It A Double

    | Ipswich, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top, Underaged

    (I am working in a pub, and my sister, my identical twin, has come in to say hello during a busy period. She has queued, and I have served her an alcoholic drink. I am just handing it over when this conversation starts.)

    Customer: “You didn’t check the ID of this girl. She doesn’t look old enough to drink. I demand you check her ID!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir, but I can assure you that she is old enough to drink.”

    Customer: “She is only about 12! She is nowhere old enough to drink. I will call the police if you do not check her ID!”

    Me: “Sir, she is old enough to drink. She is my sister, and I can assure you that she is 20 years old.”

    Customer: “If you won’t check her ID, I am going to call the police!”

    (The customer takes his phone out and makes a show of dialing. My sister looks embarrassed, but pays for her drink, shows me her driving license as she does look young, and takes a seat at the bar.)

    Me: “See? My sister is old enough to drink.”

    Customer: “No! You’re breaking the law!” *to everyone around us* “She’s breaking the law!”

    (Hearing the commotion, security comes.)

    Security: “What is the trouble, sir?”

    Customer: “That girl has served a drink to an underage customer! She used a fake ID; I saw her!”

    Security: “Sir, can’t you see the resemblance? The girl serving you is the identical twin of this customer. If she is old enough to serve you drinks, her twin is old enough to drink, too.”

    Customer: *muttering* “Well… she doesn’t look as old as she does!” *leaves*

    Speedy Service For Slow Minds

    | PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (A customer calls in about new speeds for internet service we offer. It’s 10 minutes before I am getting off from work and she has the wrong department. She also has a very thick Russian accent.)

    Me: “Tech support, this is [name]; how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I have your mega max speed and I heard you have a faster connection that I can upgrade to now.”

    Me: “Yes, that’s correct: we have a 30Mbs service, a 75, and even 100.”

    Customer: “Okay, great, I want it, and I want you to credit me for the amount of time I didn’t have it.”

    Me: “Okay, I can transfer you to customer service department were they can help you get the new speed, but I am sorry; we cant give you a credit for service you didn’t have.”

    Customer: “But you had the service and I didn’t have it! I had to hear about it from a friend that the service was available. Why was I not made aware of this service? I want credit for the time I didn’t have it.”

    Me: “I understand what you’re saying, but the service has been out for about 5-6 months. We sent out letters and we put up banners and even commercials. You didn’t see anything in regards to the new service?”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “Okay, well I can help you get this new service. But, I am sorry we are not going to give you a credit for a service that was available to you and you just didn’t subscribe to it.”

    Customer: “Oh, well… I’ll get the credit. I’ll just talk to you manager. Transfer me to customer service, thank you!”

    (She didn’t get the credit.)

    Fuming Over The Gas, Part 2

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

    (We are located in a small strip mall. As I am checking out a customer, I see a police officer walk in and two fire trucks pull up. The officer comes up to me and ask if there is a manager around.)

    Me: *to my manager* “Um…. the police are here. They said they need to talk to a manager.”

    Manager: “I’ll be right there.”

    (When she comes to the front, we find out that the building next to us has a gas leak. We make an announcement to evacuate the store. Outside the store is myself, the front manager, night manager, and two framers.)

    Framer #1: “You know, I get the feeling a customer is going to ask what going on…” *motions to the fire trucks and the orange cones blocking the store’s entrance* “…and when we tell them, they will ask if we’re open.”

    Framer #2: “Don’t be ridiculous!”

    (Just then a female customer walks up to us.)

    Customer: “Oh my, what’s going on here?”

    Me: “A gas leak happened next door. It’s starting to leak into ours.”

    Customer: “Oh… so are you open?”

    Me: *stunned* “Um, no we aren’t. We had to evacuate.”

    (The customer huffs and grumbles about me being lazy. She then goes to the night manager, who tells her the same thing.)

    Customer: “But that’s next door’s problem! Why is it yours!?”

    Manager: “Because the gas is leaking into our store.”

    Customer: “But I need to get something! Can’t you let me in?”

    (This carries on, as both the front manager and the framers both explain to her why she cannot go in. The police officer walks over.)

    Officer: “Ma’am, we cannot let you or anyone in. If you will be patient, the fire department will see what the levels are, and then we could possibly let you in.”

    Customer: *huffs and storms off*

    Framer #1: “I was only kidding when I said that!”

    Framer #2: “You should know by now: when somebody becomes a customer, they lose all common sense.”

    Related:
    Fuming Over The Gas

    Should Have Kept A Record Of The Record

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working in the music section of a department store.)

    Customer: “I’m looking for a song, but I don’t know who it’s by.”

    Me: “That’s okay. Do you remember how it goes or any of the lyrics?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Was it a male or female singer?”

    Customer: “I don’t remember.”

    Me: “What type of music was it? Fast, slow, rock, etc?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure.”

    Me: “Do you remember anything about the song?”

    Customer: “I think it had an ‘A’ somewhere in it.”


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