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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Running Some Marriage Checks

    | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    (A man comes up to my teller window and gives me an account number that he wants to deposit a check into. I pull up the account to see that his wife is the only name on the account, but the check is written out to him.)

    Me: “Hmm, do you have an account with us? Since the check is written out to you, I would have to first deposit it into your account and then transfer it to your wife’s account.”

    (After having to explain this concept a couple more times, he gives me his own account number, and I notice just how much the check is for: almost $30,000.)

    Me: “You know, I am actually going to need to put a three-day hold on this check.”

    Husband: “What? Why?”

    Me: “It’s based on a lot of factors, like your account activity and current balance, which is not much and under $500, and that you’ve chosen to come to a branch an hour from your house, which is a little odd.”

    Husband: “What? I’ve been banking here for 30 years; you’re not putting a hold on my check. That’s just ridiculous. It’s a good check! Give it back to me. I’ll just take it somewhere where they’ll actually be happy to take my money!”

    (After several more minutes of this, I ultimately agree to not put any hold on the check and he leaves. I show the check to my supervisor a couple minutes later, who says that we ARE going to put a hold on the funds. My manager is about to call the customer to let him know, when a woman walks up to my station.)

    Wife: “Hi, I wanted to transfer my husband’s check into my account. He was just in here.”

    Me: “Oh hi, give me just a second.”

    (I grab my supervisor, who tells her that we will need to put a hold on the check, so we can’t transfer it to her account just yet.)

    Wife: “Oh that’s fine. We don’t need the money now, but my husband is just so bad with his money that he’s not allowed to touch it. That’s why we keep it in my account. Otherwise he would just spend it.”

    Me: “Oh, well thank you for understanding!”

    Wife: “Oh I don’t care. It’s not a big deal. My husband was probably not very nice about it though, was he?”

    Me: “Haha, well…”

    Wife: “Yeah, he’s not very sociable.”

    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 5

    | UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (I am a female and have worked in the same supermarket for the past five years. I used to be blond, but I decide to dye my hair red. Most people have commented about how they like the new color, and how it suits me, and how they don’t recognize me.)

    Customer: “Oh, I see you have dyed your hair. I almost didn’t recognize you.”

    Me: “Yeah, I was fed up with the original color, so I went for a change.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t like it. I want you to change it right now.”

    Me: “You want me to leave work and pay to have my hair dyed a different color because you don’t like it?”

    Customer: “Yes, why is that a problem?”

    (The customer then stands there for another five minutes waiting for me to leave the till to go re-dye my hair.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I cannot leave my till until I finish work.”

    Customer: “Well that is just rude. I expect your hair color to be different when I next come in.”

    (The customer walks off. I look at my coworker, who looks just as confused as me.)

    Coworker: “Did that really just happen?”

    Related:
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 4
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 3
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 2
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little

    Breaking The Bathroom Breaking

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I am taking a four-plus hour flight. It’s a full flight, so our row is full. I’m in the middle seat. The passenger in the window seat is ordering carbonated water and alcohol every time the flight attendant comes by. She has been doing this for hours and is getting up to pee every few minutes; aggravating the rest of us.)

    Window Passenger: *to the aisle passenger in the seat next to her* “Can you move? I need to use the bathroom.”

    Aisle Passenger: *in aisle seat* “You’ve been doing this every few minutes! Could we switch seats? It’ll be easier if you have the aisle seat.”

    Window Passenger: “No! I want this window seat. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go.”

    (She goes, comes back, sits down, and orders another water, which she gulps down. Eight minutes pass.)

    Window Passenger: “Excuse me, move! I need to get to the bathroom!”

    (She goes. The aisle passenger and I are both tired, because we’re trying to sleep and she keeps waking us, and we’re angry because her shoes are getting dirt on us.)

    Me: “Look, man, move into the window seat. I’ll deal with her.”

    (He moves into the window seat just as she comes back. The window passenger instantly yells at him.)

    Window Passenger: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SEAT?!”

    Me: “I told him to move there.”

    Window Passenger: “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!”

    Me: “YOU have no right! You’ve made 24 bathroom trips in three hours. We’re trying to sleep, and you’re climbing over us every few minutes and getting dirt from your shoes on our clothes! You left bruises on my leg where you climbed on it! This guy offered to let you sit in the aisle seat, and you said no!”

    Window Passenger: “B****! I’LL TELL THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT!”

    (The flight attendant is called, and I tell him the story.)

    Flight Attendant: *to the window passenger* “Normally, ma’am, I’d side with you, but in this case, I think the young lady is right. It’s very disruptive to our other passengers for you to be climbing over them every few minutes. The gentleman vacated a perfectly good aisle seat, which you will have to use as the flight is full.”

    Window Passenger: “F*** ALL OF YOU! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE DOING THIS TO ME!”

    (She does, however, sit down and stop ordering drinks. She sulks for the rest of the flight, and upon landing, rushes off the plane as fast as she can.)

    Piercing Judgments, Part 2

    | New York, NY, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Love/Romance, Top

    (I am a waiter in a high-class restaurant. In my section is a cute couple, and from the looks and blushing, it appears they’re on their first date. Both have several visible piercings, and from what I can see on the young woman, they both have tattoos. They’re talking quietly to each other, not disturbing anyone. I’m called over to a nearby table with a dining couple in their mid-forties.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, how may I help you?”

    Diner: *loudly* “I want that disrespectful couple out!”

    (The diner points to the other couple. Both look up.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

    Diner: “Look at them! They’re disgusting! That woman shouldn’t be seen in public!”

    (I see the young woman’s head go down.)

    Diner: “And that man should be ashamed! They’re ruining the entire atmosphere!”

    (Now both of the couple are looking at their plates. I can barely hear the young woman mumble to her date.)

    Young Woman: “Maybe we should go…”

    (Both start to stand. I motion for them to sit. I turn back to the loud diner.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you and your husband to leave.”

    Diner: *scoffs* “What for?!”

    Me: “For disturbing the peace, and ‘ruining the atmosphere.’ I will escort you to the door.”

    Diner: “You can’t do that!”

    Me: “Alright, I’ll go get my manager and have him escort you out.”

    (Sure enough, my manager agrees with me and makes the older couple leave.)

    Woman: “You’ve just lost your best customers, you heathen!”

    (The young couple thank me, and they get 10% off their check for their troubles. They come back every couple of months, requesting me. The last time they come in, there is a decent sized rock on the young woman’s finger.)

    Related:
    Piercing Judgments

    Lunch Lady Is No Lady

    | MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am helping a customer who, with her six-year-old son, pick out stain for her deck. I am the only person in the paint department. Another customer comes up to my desk. I call for backup.)

    Me: *to Customer #2* “It should only be a few minutes wait.”

    (After about 30 more seconds, Customer #2 storms down the aisle to where I am still working with Customer #1.)

    Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “This isn’t personal shopper day! Other people need help; you need to get your s*** and leave!” *to me* “Get your a** on the phone and get someone over here to serve me, b****!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, he was with another customer. I’m sure he’ll be here soon.”

    Customer #2: *goes back to the desk to wait* “B****!”

    Me: *to Customer #1* “I’m sorry about that—”

    Customer #1′s Young Son: “It’s okay lady! She is my lunch lady, and she is mean to EVERYONE! Don’t listen to her; you’re doing great helping mommy!”

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