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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    It Isn’t The View That Is Spoiled

    | Ventura, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work as a hostess in a very popular family restaurant. We have a playground on the patio as well as one of the best locations in town with a view over looking the ocean. Today we have a party of 100 fundraising for a youth football team, so there are a lot of kids.)

    Customer: “Two, for outside please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the patio is reserved for a party.”

    (The customer is sat by the window with a lovely view of the ocean.)

    Customer: “Excuse me? But you wouldn’t let us sit outside! And now those ugly kids are playing in my view! Make them move!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they are part of the large party and I can’t ask them to leave.”

    Customer: “Are you serious?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t like kids either, but this is a family restaurant and family means kids.”

    Customer: “I’m never coming here again!”

    A Wally With The Wallets

    | LA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m a customer in line at the checkout counter, the third in line behind another customer whose items have already been scanned. This store has a rewards card, meaning you get a discount by using it and if not you pay full price. The woman doesn’t have the card with her.)

    Customer: “I am not about to spend full price when you know I have a card with you! Look it up in the computer.”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, I can’t. The cards are free and aren’t name-assigned.”

    Customer: “LOOK. IT. UP.”

    (For about five minutes this is the exchange, with the woman clearly convinced their system is more advanced than it really is.)

    Cashier: “Ma’am, please… there’s a line behind you. I have to wait on these people but I’ll be glad to call the manager over and let him talk to you.”

    Customer: “Well, fine… take the man right here and then we’ll continue talking.”

    (Much to our relief, the manager finally arrives.)

    Manager: “So, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I don’t have my card with me and this dumb b**** of a cashier won’t look me up in the system.”

    Manager: “You didn’t fill out any paperwork or give a name or email address when you got that card, did you?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Manager: “Then how are we supposed to look it up in the system? There’s no information attached to your card.”

    Customer: “Well, I shouldn’t be expected to carry my wallet everywhere I go just to wave these stupid cards around! ”

    Manager:” Ma’am… isn’t that your wallet in your hand?”

    Customer: “Yes, but this is my wallet that holds my money and my credit cards! I don’t carry all that other s*** in this one!”

    Stiff Upper Lip Vs The American Quip

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (I work in a small independent music shop in the UK. Although our shelf space is limited, we have a pretty good reputation, because of the musical knowledge of our staff and our ability to source and order some really obscure CDs.)

    Customer: “Do you have [certain CD] in stock?”

    Me: “I’m afraid that we don’t have it at the moment.”

    (I quickly checking our database, I find that we’ve never had any requests for it until today.)

    Me: “I can source it for you. Would you like to place an order?”

    Customer: “I need it today. I’m going back to the States tomorrow.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; the suppliers of this disc usually take a couple of days to get things to us.”

    Customer: *looking hugely put out* “Well, can you send it to San Francisco?”

    Me: “Yes, that should be fine.”

    Customer: “I guess you’ll drop the shipping costs, seeing how you didn’t have it in stock when I asked.”

    Me: “I’m afraid that isn’t policy in this shop. We don’t pretend to be able to keep in stock any CD our customers might ask for, after all. But if you—”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, I know what this is. This is Britain muddling through, isn’t it? Just sixty years ago, you won the war; now you can’t even keep a CD in stock.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’re only a very small shop, and there’s a lot of CDs—”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, my friend said you’d try to make excuses, and she’s a Professor, you know. But look!” *holding up three CDs she’d like to buy* “I’m keeping you in business! Britain, muddling through!”

    Off The Clock And Into The Fired

    | MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Top

    (It’s my day off, and I’m shopping at the store where I work when this happens.)

    Customer: “You!” *runs up to me*

    Me: “Uh, yes?”

    Customer: “That’s not how you respond to a paying customer. You’re supposed to say, ‘How may I help you today, ma’am’, and smile!”

    Me: “Um, actually right now I’m a paying customer too.”

    Customer: “You still work here don’t, you? So, you have to help me or I will get you fired!”

    Me: “I’m not working right now. That means—”

    Customer: “I don’t care what it means!”

    Me: “It means that I cannot help you, will not help you, and it also means I get to walk away.”

    (A few minutes pass. Then the customer returns with my manager.)

    Customer: *points at me* “Her! She refused to help me. Fire her!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, she’s not working today. She’s here as a customer, and if that was you I heard yelling at her, that means I can kick you out of the store for harassing other customers. Please finish your shopping and leave.”

    Customer: “But she still works here so she has to help me! I am the customer! I am right!”

    Manager: “Geez.” *hands me her manager card* “Use this on your stuff to get my discount. I have to deal with this.”

    Me: “Remember boss, the customer is always right!”

    Manager: “Oh, shut up.”

    Marked Down But Not Giving It Out

    | Helsinki, Finland | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (It is the 1990s. We have ‘marks’ as our currency. I work in the grocery store, and my duty is to sell fish and other seafood. A women approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you change this thousand mark bill into one 500, four 100′s,one 50, four 10′s and ten coins of 1 mark?”

    Me: “I’m sorry madam, I can’t. I don’t have a cash register here at all and I’m afraid that even cashiers aren’t allow to change a thousand mark bill, because it is early in the Saturday morning and we need to have small change in our cash registers. But there’s no harm asking; the cash registers are over there.”

    Customer: “No, no, I meant that can you change this from your own money?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m a college student and work here only part time and since I’ve just paid my rent, I don’t even have that kind of a money in my bank account.”

    Customer: “I’m not interested what you have or don’t have in your bank account. I want you to change this for me. Take the money from your pockets.”

    Me: “Well, as I don’t have that kind of the money in my bank account, unfortunately I don’t have that kind of money in my pockets, either.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe you. Show me your pockets!”

    Me: *showing* “As you can see, the only thing in my pocket is this handkerchief.”

    Customer: “But you are a woman, you surely have a hand bag, don’t you?”

    Me: “Well, yes I do.”

    Customer: “So, where is it?”

    Me: “It’s in my locker, in our locker room.”

    Customer: “So, why won’t you go to your hand bag and fetch the money from there?”

    Me: “I’m afraid I can’t leave, because I’m the only seller here right now, and it wouldn’t be any use anyway. I can assure you that I don’t have 1000 marks in my purse either.”

    Customer: “So, why do you work here if you can’t even help a customer by changing my bill into a smaller bills and coins?”

    Me: “I work here because I need to finance my studies.”

    Customer: “Some fine financing! I can’t believe you won’t be able, or willing, to help me out!”


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