October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

The Munchkin Gymnast Special

| USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

(My brother and I work at our family coffee shop, and this happens one morning when my brother is covering the shift of our female co-worker. A middle-aged man walks in.)

Customer: “Where are all the hot girls?”

Brother: “…What?”

Customer: “Don’t all the hot girls work here?”

Brother: “Uh, well, I’m working today.”

Customer: “Man, there’s this one…” *he holds out his hand, indicating how short our coworker is* “…She’s a little munchkin. She looks like she could be a gymnast.”

(He eventually placed his order and left a good-sized tip.)

Wining And Whining

| Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(This is my third day at this job and I am still in training, out stocking the floor and familiarizing myself with the layout. Adjacent to the bakery is the wine section.)

Woman: *approaches me* “Hello, I’d like some help with choosing a wine?”

Me: “Wine?” *notices* “Oh, that. Well, unfortunately, I don’t know anything about wine.”

Woman: “What? You do work here, right?”

Me: “Well, yes, but I’ve just started and wine isn’t my section.”

Woman: “How can you not know your own store?!”

Me: “Miss, this is my third day. I haven’t even shopped here before!”

Woman: “I don’t care HOW new you are; you should learn things!” *storms off*

(I was three syllables from telling her that I have a friend who works here as well and went to culinary school, took classes in wine, and could help her out, but she left too quickly.)

Red Faced With Failure

| GA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(It is National Wear Red Day. A customer comes in, all in red, and after shopping approached the cashier.)

Customer: “Why aren’t you wearing any red?”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “Red! Why aren’t you wearing red?! It’s National Wear Red Day for women’s heart disease!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I am wearing red. Our store’s color is red.”

Customer: “But you’re not wearing it for National Red Day! And your jewelry isn’t red!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry—”

Customer: “YOU FAIL!”

Cashier: “I… I’m sorry?”

Customer: “YOU FAIL!” *turns to customer behind her* “YOU FAIL, TOO!” *storms out without making purchase*

Customer #2: “Glad to know I fail.”

Not Very Cagey About Their Drinking

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(A woman has come in looking for a hamster for her seven-year-old daughter’s birthday the next day. I’ve gone over the basic care instructions and all that’s left is to pick out the cage.)

Me: “Okay, so the dwarf hamster is pretty small, and any of these cages will be big enough. I would recommend this one, since it comes with food, bedding, food dish and a water bottle.”

Customer: “Which one is the easiest to put together? I’m gonna be pretty drunk tonight when I set this thing up.”

Me: “…Let me show you the pre-assembled cages.”

This Joke Has Been Used

| Tilehurst, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I overhear the following conversation in the pharmacy:)

Customer: “I’d, um, like some, er, suppositories, please. Sorry, but I’m not really sure which ones. They’re for my wife, who called out for me to get some when I was half-way out the door on an errand to do something else.”

Pharmacist: “Certainly, sir, let’s go and look for some. Here: would they be these?” *offering him a particular brand*

Customer: “Pff. Not sure. Could be; I know she suffers from the H word, but on the other hand…”

Pharmacist: “You can bring them back for a refund and replace them with the other kind.”

Customer: “What, even if…” *at this point he cracks up laughing* “Even if…” *and he’s laughing so hard he can’t say what he’s trying to say*

Pharmacist: *knowing exactly what he’s trying to say; it’s an old joke, but so funny she can’t help laughing herself* “…even if they’ve been used?”

(Both customer and pharmacist laughed like grade school children.)

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