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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Pot Calling The Kettle Black, Slowly

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m working the drive-thru. I’ve just finished taking an order that took about a minute and a half to get down as the customer was unsure of what they wanted and ordered some items requiring clarifications. I talk to the next car in the line.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to—”

    Customer: “I’d just like to say that I waited too d*** long. It’s awful how long I’ve had to wait and I sat there waiting so long and all I want are two ice cream cones!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. Your total is [total] at the first window. Please—”

    (The customer drives forward as I’m still talking and ultimately ignores me.)

    Me: *at the window* “Hi, that’ll be [total].”

    Customer: “I didn’t mean to sound rude, but that wait was far too long!”

    Me: “And again, I’m sorry about that, but the wait is also a matter of the customer ahead of you.”

    Customer: “That was still too long! Do you know how much gas I probably wasted just sitting there, waiting? Any other business would be ashamed of making me wait that long!”

    (There is a pause as the customer then digs through her purse for her wallet. After maybe a minute, during which other customers have lined up behind her, waiting to pay:)

    Customer: “What was my total?”

    Platinum Member, Bronze Behavior

    , | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a concession stand/food court inside a casino. At this casino, we have player cards with different levels depending on the amount of money a customer spends. A regular with the highest level (platinum) card comes at least twice a week to the Asian stand. Every time we see her the conversation is the same.)

    Customer: *very rudely* “I want a chicken fried rice, no carrots or peas, no egg, no bean sprouts, no oil, no salt, with broccoli fried extra soft, to go.”

    (She orders this exact thing every time.)

    Me: “All right, ma’am. That will be [total]. Thank you, and do you have your card for discount?”

    (I swipe her player card for a discount, she pays cash, and then waits for her order. Her order comes up fresh from the wok, and I check the order EXTREMELY well to make sure that everything is in order. The customer is waiting at the counter tapping her foot impatiently. I give her the box and wish her a good day. 10 minutes pass before she comes back, red faced and angry. She’s maybe taken one bite from her food.)

    Customer: “This isn’t what I ordered! I ordered a chicken fried rice, no carrots or peas, no egg, no bean sprouts, no oil, no salt, with broccoli fried EXTRA soft, to go! I want to speak with [Manager] immediately!”

    (The order WAS exactly how she ordered it. That’s why we always check the order for her.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. Let me grab [Manager] and we’ll make you a new one right away!”

    Customer: *smiling smugly* “Thank you, sweetie.”

    (The manager comes out and has a quiet discussion with the upset platinum customer.)

    Customer: “My food was old, and cold, and you put things in the rice that I didn’t order. Everything was just wrong!”

    Manager: “Perhaps you would care to fill out a comment card, and I will take care of the issue.”

    (Meanwhile, I am in the back talking with our chef about the customer. Our chef is obviously a little upset that the customer can do this so consistently because she’s a platinum member, so we cannot turn away her service. We agree that nothing is wrong with the food and throw it in the microwave to warm it up. I go back out and hand the food to the customer, who is handing the comment card to my manager.)

    Me: “I’m so, so sorry that happened. Here. Look it over to make sure it’s right this time.”

    (She looks it over and nods.)

    Customer: *still smug* “This is exactly how I wanted it, honey. Thank you for making another one!”

    (My manager waits a few moments to make sure the customer is well on her way before throwing the comment card in the trash.)

    Manager: “She comes in here every week and does that!”

    Small Fry Looking For The Big Wig

    | Nashville, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (A customer wants a blender.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. We are sold out of those blenders.”

    Customer: “Well the sign on the shelf says [special price], so I should get this blender for [special price]!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t do that. It’s not the same blender as the ones that were on sale, and we are sold out of the blenders that were on sale.”

    Customer: “This is just outrageous! Who can I talk to so that I can file a complaint? What’s your store number? I’m going to report you!”

    Manager: *very professional, but now with sharper tone* “Here is the number for our customer service hotline. They’ll be happy to take your call. Our store number is [number].”

    Customer: “No, I want to talk to your CEO!”

    Manager: “Sir, this is the number that you can call to file complaints.”

    Customer: “All right.” *takes number* “Yes, I want to speak with your CEO.”

    (The customer walks away, talking on the phone.)

    Me: *after a few minutes* “Yeah, my laptop crashed the other day, so I called Bill Gates. That guy knows customer service.”

    A Cash Flow Returns To The Source

    | Lenoir City, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Language & Words, Money

    (I’m working the customer service desk and have a problem with a customer who keeps calling, in spite of being told the answer to his question several times. Frustrated, when he calls again I ask my coworker to answer. She puts him on speaker.)

    Coworker: “Customer service. How may I help you?”

    Caller: *slurring his words* “I need to return my fridge!”

    Coworker: “Okay.”

    Caller: “Yeah, and I paid $400 for it, and I found a used one for $200. I want my money back!”

    Coworker: “Okay. Do you have your receipt?”

    Caller: “No, but I have my credit card.”

    Coworker: “Okay. We can put it back on that.”

    Caller: “No! I want that in cash!”

    Coworker: “Sir, that’s impossible. You paid for it with a credit card, so you get the money back on your credit card.”

    Caller: “But I paid it off with CASH!”

    Coworker: “Even so. The money has to go back on the card.”

    Caller: “Well, f*** it, b****!”

    Coworker: “I’d rather not. I don’t think you’re my type.”

    (The caller swears again and hangs up.)

    Coworker: *to me* “See? With idiots, you have to be clever. It confuses them.”

    Calling About His C-Pee-Yew!

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I work for an IT company that provides technical support for IT equipment to customers.)

    Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “My toilet is broken.”

    Me: “Sorry, can you repeat that? You called an IT support desk about a toilet?”

    Customer: “Yes, my toilet is blocked. Can you fix it remotely?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. I am unable to remote on to your toilet to unblock it. You will need to call a plumber if it is that bad or use a plunger.”

    Customer: “You are supposed to be a support desk. You are not being helpful. Don’t you worry. I will call back and get another agent to help.” *click*

    (The customer did call back. The manager got on the other agent’s phone, and basically laughed down the phone at the customer, asking if he has turned the toilet off and on again, or reinstalled the cistern.)


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