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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    His Table Lawsuit Won’t Have A Leg To Stand On

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

    (My family is out to dinner at a Chinese buffet. My boss texts me from the furniture store where I work. I’m known for getting the problem customers.)

    Boss: “You’re not allowed to sell to psychos anymore!”

    Me: “But they’re my best business! But, seriously. What happened?”

    (My boss proceeds to tell me about a customer that already harassed me three times the day before, as well as the customer service line several times, and tried to prevent our drivers from leaving his home after his delivery. His complaint was that his table was the wrong shade of brown.)

    Boss: “He sent me an email complaining that he’s talking to highly educated people about suing us.”

    Me: “Ha! His lawyer can call my lawyer! I’ll sue for harassment.”

    (I happen to open my fortune cookie at this point and start laughing. I send my boss a picture. The fortune reads ‘A judgment will rule in your favor.’)

    Me: “Fortune cookie says we can take him!”

    An Irregular Appointment

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a hair salon and take a phone call.)

    Me: “Hello. How may I help?”

    Customer: “I need an appointment with [Stylist] for a haircut.”

    Me: “Okay. When would you like to come in?”

    Customer: “Whenever works for [Stylist].”

    Me: “Okay. How about tomorrow at 3 pm?”

    Customer: “No. Can’t do that.”

    Me: “Friday at 10?”

    Customer: “No. Can’t do that.”

    (This goes on for a while.)

    Customer: “I can only do [specific date, a Saturday; our busiest time].”

    Me: “I’m afraid [Stylist] is fully booked that day. How about [Other Stylist]?”

    Customer: “I always see [Stylist].”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “They have nothing?”

    Me: “Sorry. They are fully booked.”

    Customer: “I have been seeing them for years.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “Can you not move the other clients around?”

    Me: “Not really. How would you like if we moved you around for someone else?”

    Customer: “You wouldn’t do that. I’m a regular.”

    Me: “According to your record, you’ve been to see us three times. The clients booked in have been coming for the last six years.”

    Customer: *click*

    A Compete Idiot

    , | Liverpool, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Where do you keep [Competitor Store] branded beans, please?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, madam. We don’t carry our competitors lines. We only stock our own branded goods.”

    Customer: “That’s silly. You could make money selling other stores’ goods.”

    Me: “That’s an interesting concept. I wonder why no one has thought of it before?”

    Customer: “Well, it’s all the same stuff inside anyway. They just use their own brand labels.”

    Me: “In that case, would you like to try our own brand beans?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I prefer [Competitor Brand] beans. They taste much nicer.”

    This Diet Is Really Going Against The Grain

    | MN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Excuse me. You used to stock a drink in the cooler. It was tea. It had no carbs.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We probably don’t have any more. Sometimes they cycle out drinks that don’t sell very well.”

    Customer: “It was tea. It had no carbs.”

    Me: “I think I know the one you’re thinking of. If it’s not in there, then we’re out. We have some iced tea brewed up if you would like to try that.”

    Customer: “How do I know that it doesn’t have carbs?”

    Me: “I brewed it myself. I can promise you that there are no carbs.”

    Customer: “I want the other tea! You know that soda in there has 33 carbs! You should really stock more options for customers who don’t want to have so many carbs.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to give you some of our iced tea, or some water.”

    Customer: “Ugh! I don’t want any of that. I want the old tea.”

    Me: “Sorry! Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yes! I’ll have a large cookie.”

    Deciding On Which Managerial Post Is Splitting Pink Hairs

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I have bubblegum pink hair. I manage two stores in the general area, and I am an assistant district manager. Our products are quite pricey, so we tend to have ‘higher end’ customers.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Company]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “What the h*** is wrong with your head?!”

    Me: “I’m not sure. Is there anything I can help you find?”

    Customer: “H***, no! You should be ashamed of that hair color!”

    Me: “I’m quite sorry, but, again, do you need any help?”

    Customer: “Your hair is obscene! Let me talk to your manager!”

    Me: “I am the manager, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What?! Fine, you smarta** b****! Let me talk to YOUR manager!”

    (I calmly bend down and switch to my ‘assistant district manager’ tag, and face the customer again.)

    Me: “All right. How can I help you?”

    (The customer turned red and she left without a word.)

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