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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Stupidity Can Permeate

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am working a ten-hour shift in a supermarket, and it’s my job to make sure all the checkouts are running smoothly.)

    Customer: “I was just enquiring about my free gift!”

    Me: “Free gift?”

    Customer: “Yeah, there was a sign next to where I picked up the milk, it said ‘something’ free. I want my free gift!”

    Me: “I’m not sure about any promotions with our milk, but let me go to the milk fridge and check for you.”

    (I go down to the milk fridge to check the customers query, and notice the ticket says “Permeate Free”. It is this new change to Australian milk, which now is free of a certain chemical that used to prolong the life of milk. I head back up to the counter.)

    Customer: “About time you came back! WHERE’S MY FREE GIFT!”

    Me: “Uhm, ma’am, the ‘gift’ you were enquiring about was our ‘permeate free’ condition.”

    Customer: “I don’t care; give me my free permeate!”

    Me: “Permeate is an additive of milk, and not a promotion. I can’t give that to you.”

    (The customer doesn’t even acknowledge my response out of embarrassment, and quickly pays for her groceries and flees the store. The next customer has been paying attention to this whole argument.)

    Next Customer: “Can I have my free permeate as well? Haha, only joking. What a knob!”

    Thru Drive Me Crazy

    | Orange County, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am a customer in line in a drive thru. I only have about five minutes as I am already late to class. I listen to the exchange between the person ahead of me and the cashier.)

    Customer: “Okay, I want a #4, with extra cheese. Last time there wasn’t enough cheese on there. I want a #9 with cabbage instead of lettuce. I want a #2 with no tomatoes. I want a #1 with no cheese. I want 5 orders of fries, and a cookie.”

    (I am thinking to myself how this could possibly take any longer. The customer finally finishes, and I order and pull up to pay.)

    Customer: “So you made sure you took all of my requests right? You people are so stupid sometimes! You really just need to listen to what the customer wants.”

    (At this point, I’m feeling bad for the poor young soul behind the cash register. She looks like she is about 18 years old, and about to cry. Also, I’m getting mad because I’m getting held up. I lean my head out of the window.)

    Me: “You know what? Maybe you should realize that this is a fast food place. Not only that, you are in the drive thru. Customizations require extra work, and sometimes people mess up. Also, this girl didn’t do anything to mess up your order yet, so why are you getting mad at her?”

    Customer: *to the cashier* “I… I… I’m sorry…”

    (The customer takes the food and speeds off. I proceed up to the window. The cashier and about five other associates who have heard the exchange all come over to the window.)

    Cashier: “Thank you so much for sticking up for me. This was my second day on the job, and I only took it because my dad is ill, and can’t support my family.”

    Me: “It’s okay; some people can just be so mean!”

    Manager: “As a special thank you, we’d like to give you your meal for free.”

    Me: “Thanks anyway, but I’d rather you give the money to this young lady here. Keep smiling sweetie, and remember that for every jerk in the world, there is always a compassionate stranger.”

    Playstation Four-Ever

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (It is late 2012, and rumors are flying about exactly what the new Playstation and Xbox would be like. A customer walks up to the counter. He looks about 20-25, with his cap on backwards and his pants low with a singlet.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today mate?”

    Customer: “I’d like to pre-order the new Playstation.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; they haven’t actually announced it yet.”

    Customer: “So? I just want to make sure I get one. How much do I need to put down?”

    Me: “I’m really sorry mate, but I can’t take your money. We can’t do any pre-orders until the console is at least announced by the company.”

    Customer: “Really? Well do you know when it will be released?”

    Me: “Nope, but all the rumors are saying not until the end of next year.”

    Customer: “That’s bull-s***! I don’t want to wait that long! They should just hurry up.”

    Me: “Yeah, there’s a lot of people looking forward to it. Was there anything else I could help you with?”

    Customer: “Well since I can’t get the Playstation, can I put a pre-order down for the new Xbox?”

    Me: “Sorry again mate, but that hasn’t been announce yet either. But I’d say it will probably be released around the same time as the Playstation.”

    Customer: “F*** off! This is bull-s***! Why can’t the f****** company just release the new consoles when I want them?! Stupid a**-holes! They should be doing what I want; I’m the paying customer! They’ll never have my money again!”

    (The customer wanders around the store swearing and muttering to himself before he walks out the front and starts yelling.)

    Customer: “DON’T BOTHER GOING IN THERE! THERE’S NOTHING NEW, AND THERE NEVER WILL BE! THE WHOLE PLACE IS A LIE!”

    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 4

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    Customer: “I want to buy an iron.”

    Me: “Okay, our irons are right here. Is there something specific that you’re looking for?”

    Customer: “Oh, nothing too fancy; it’s a gift. This one looks good, but I’d like you to open it to make sure that everything is inside.”

    Me: “No problem.”

    (I open the box, show the customer the iron and manual, put everything back, and close the box back up. It looks the same as it did before I opened the box.)

    Customer: “Oh, great, thanks.”

    (The customer puts the iron back on the shelf. It’s the only one of its kind on the shelf, but on the very top shelf is another one. The customer points to the unopened box on the top shelf.)

    Customer: “Can you hand me that one right there?”

    Me: “Okay, would you like me to open that box, as well?”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want to give my niece an open box for her wedding!”

    Me: “Pardon me, but if I opened that box to make sure that the iron and manual were inside, wouldn’t it make sense to open that other box, as well?”

    (The customer looks blank.)

    Me: “I mean, how do you know that the iron and manual are going to be in that box up there?”

    Customer: “Because I opened a box.”

    Me: “But not that one up top.”

    Customer: “I. Opened. A. Box.”

    Me: *giving up* “Here, let me get you that iron…”

    Related:
    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2

    A Nasty Mood Swing

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I am a cashier at a home improvement store. A customer comes to my register pushing a cart with several heavy items in it.)

    Me: “Hi there, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Oh, just fine, thank you!”

    (We make small talk as I ring the customer up. She has been perfectly nice so far.)

    Me: “Do you want a hand loading your stuff?”

    Customer: “Yes, thank you. It was hard to get these in the cart!”

    Me: “Sure thing! I’ll page for one of the loaders. He’ll be right over.”

    (As I finish running the customer’s credit card through and hand her the receipt, she says something, but she mumbles and I don’t quite hear her.)

    Me: “Sorry, say again?”

    (The customer’s demeanor instantly changes from pleasant to furious.)

    Customer: “I SAID, Should I wait for the loading man HERE? Or I should I go and wait by the DOOR?”

    (I’m baffled by the mood swing, but I smile and put on my best cheerful voice.)

    Me: “Oh, it doesn’t matter! He’ll be here in just a minute and there’s no line, so you can wait right here if you don’t want to push the cart over to the door.”

    Customer: “Did I do something to you? Have I insulted you or your family?”

    Me: “Not… that I’m aware of…?”

    Customer: “I just asked a question and you’re being so NASTY to me! I don’t know why you had to be so rude just to answer my question!”

    Me: “I’m not being rude. I’m being matter-of-fact. It doesn’t matter if you wait right here or if you wait by the—”

    Customer: “You are so NASTY!”

    (The loading guy appears.)

    Loading Guy: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes! You can take my things to my car and get me AWAY from this girl! She is so NASTY, I don’t know how you stand her!”

    (The loading guy shoots me a bewildered look, and walks out with the customer, who is still shouting about how nasty I am. He comes back in a couple minutes later.)

    Loading Guy: “What the f*** was that?”

    Me: “H*** if I know. I’m so glad I’m off tomorrow.”

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