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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Didn’t Play Their Cards Right

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (Our store is having an Easter sale and has sent promotional emails to our customers, which contain ads and coupons. I’m ringing up a customer who has made a large purchase, most of which consists of gift cards, which are never discounted. When I tell her the total and how much she’s saved, she becomes upset.)

    Customer: “I spent nearly $300! My discount should be much higher!”

    (I double-check the totals to make sure I haven’t rung up anything incorrectly.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I believe your savings are lower because most of what you spent

    was on gift cards, and we don’t discount those.”

    Customer: “But the email I was sent had a picture of an Easter basket with a gift card in it! I should get my discount on the gift cards too, since there was a gift card in the picture! That’s false advertising!”

    (Despite my best efforts to explain, she asks to speak to my manager.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, a gift card is literally an exchange of money, dollar for dollar. We don’t ever give discounts on gift cards, and as you can see, we don’t charge tax on them either. That doesn’t happen until you purchase something with the gift card.

    Customer: “Oh… well, I guess I learned something today.”

    Manager: “For future reference, the fine print here on your coupon also states that we can’t discount gift cards.”

    Customer: “I could spend all day reading fine print if I wanted to. I have a Ph.D.! Nobody reads the fine print!”

    A Little Bird Told Her Wrong

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a horse supply/tack store. We don’t sell any sort of animal.)

    Me: “Hello. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi. Do you sell pigeons?”

    Me: “What’s a pigeon?”

    Customer: “You don’t know what a pigeon is?”

    Me: “Well, like the bird, pigeon?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “No, we don’t sell birds.”

    Customer: “What type of store is this that you don’t sell birds?”

    Me: “Uhm, a horse supply store.”

    Customer: “Oh, the yellow pages didn’t say anything about that!”

    Can’t Pass The First Level Of Customer Service

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Geeks Rule, Technology

    (I answer the phone.)

    Customer: “I just bought Grand theft Auto V on Playstation 3. Does anyone there play it?”

    Me: “I think a few of the guys have—”

    Customer: “I need to speak to them, NOW!”

    Me: “Unfortunately they’re all with customers at the moment. Could I possibly help?”

    Customer: “Yeah, how the f*** do you beat the first mission?!”

    Me: “Sir, I think that sort of question would be better suited to some sort of online gaming forum?”


    Building Up Abuse About The Building

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Top

    (I work as maintenance coordinator for a property management company. I get a call from a nearly 30-year-old tenant’s mother.)

    Me: “Hello, This is [My Name]. How can I help—”

    Mother: “You listen here. I am going to sue the living s*** out of you and you negligent company unless you fix the issues in my son’s apartment!”

    Me: “I’ll do everything I can. What is the—”

    Mother: “Well, YOU have already been doing ALL that YOU can. Maybe I need to talk to someone else, cause all you can do is f*** all!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m more than happy to assist you in any way I can but I will stop this conversation if you continue to be abusive. What is the add—”

    Mother: “I’M BEING ABUSIVE?! You take my money EVERY MONTH so my son can live in that s***-hole! Breathing in mold, dealing with rats and roaches! WHAT ABOUT THE GOD-D*** HOLE IN THE CEILING?! Don’t you think that’s abusive!?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I have no knowledge of any unit having any of these problems but for me to help I need the address—”


    (At this point I lose my patience.)

    Me: “Ma’am, did you sign the lease for your son or were you present for the signing of the lease?”

    Mother: “No, I did not, but what the h*** does that have to do with anything?”

    Me: “It MEANS I legally do not have to talk you. NO ONE here has to, and if you continue to be this abrasive on the phone, I will advise the property manager to evict your adult son from his unit. I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT! Now, PLEASE, if you want me to help I need the ADDRESS!”

    Mother: “Fine, it’s [address].”

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t even manage that building. It’s managed by [Other Management Company].”

    Mother: “Well, then, how do I get ahold of them?”

    Me: “Let me Google that for you. ” *hangs up phone*

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 16

    | FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I went to check out a sale at a clothing store. While browsing the clothing racks, a lady runs up to and violently grabs my arm and start yelling at me.)

    Customer: “About d*** time someone showed up. I’ve been looking for you for ten minutes now!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that! I give you guys a lot of my hard earned money and all I get is crappy service.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am, I’m sorry, but I think you—”

    Customer: “Now listen here. I don’t have time for this. I’ve got places to be, so just do your d*** job and help me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “Work, you got that right! You just get paid to sit on your fat a**. If it was up to me you’d be fired!”

    (At this point the store manager has heard the commotion and comes over to see what the problem is.)

    Manager: “Excuse me, ladies. Is there a problem here?”

    (Customer angrily points at me.)

    Customer: “Yes, there’s a problem! Your sorry excuse of employees stand around all day while your customers have to suffer!”

    (Looking at me, the manager understands what’s going on and is trying to not burst out laughing.)

    Manager: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am, but if you would have asked a store associate for assistance instead of yelling at another customer, perhaps we could have assisted you.”

    Customer: “Well, I never!”

    (Confused, the lady looks at me and finally realizes I’m not wearing a store uniform or name tag.)

    Customer: “Oh, um… Ah, I think I’ll just come back later.”

    (Looking extremely embarrassed the lady rushes out of the store without even apologizing.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, miss. Are you all right?”

    Me: “I’m really confused but yeah. I guess. Are all your customers like that?”

    Manager: “That’s not even the worst of it.”

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 15
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 14
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 13

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