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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Satisfaction Level: Impossible

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

    (I am the manager on duty on a Sunday afternoon when I receive a phone call from an upset lady.)

    Caller: “I need to complain about my car I had there on Friday night before you closed. They didn’t fix my car!”

    Me: “Did they say why not?”

    Caller: “They made up something about not having a part, but I know it was because they were lazy and didn’t want to fix it!”

    Me: “Well, that’s a bit unusual. My guys get paid on commission and want to do every job possible so they can make more money.”

    Caller: “No! They were just being lazy! I had to take my car to the dealership on Monday and they were able to fix it right away!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the dealership carries all of those parts. That’s where we get our parts from if we can’t get them from any other source. If it was late on a Friday night, the dealership was probably already closed.”

    Caller: “Bull****! I am VERY upset about your poor service! I thought you were the manager! I want to know what you are going to do for me about this!”

    Me: “I’m sorry we weren’t able to help you to your satisfaction, ma’am. I can’t give you a refund because we didn’t charge you anything. I’d offer to fix the car at a discount, but you say it’s already been fixed. What is it you would like for me to do for you, ma’am?”

    Caller: “Well, you know what you’re supposed to do in these cases!”

    Me: “Well, normally I’d offer a discount or a refund, but neither of those would help you. Is there anything else I can offer you? I am sorry for your inconvenience.”

    Caller: “I don’t want your stupid apology! I can’t believe you are refusing to help me!”

    Me: “I’m not refusing, Ma’am. I just don’t know what it is you want.”

    Caller: “You know what I want!! I want you to do what you’re supposed to!”

    Me: “And what is that?”

    Caller: “You know what you’re supposed to do! I’m going to call your corporate office and have you fired!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t tell me what it is you want, I don’t know what to do for you.”

    Caller: “Don’t give me that! I’m going to have you fired!” *hangs up*

    Don’t Prune The Tree Of Knowledge

    | Kaysville, UT, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I work at a university extension where we offer broadcast courses. A gruff guy walks up to the front desk. His speech is a little hard to understand.)

    Man: “So, can you guys teach me how to prune?”

    Coworker: “Print?”

    Man: “No, prune.”

    Me: “Uh, sorry, this is a university.”

    Man: “How can I get you guys to come prune my trees for free?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Leave Out The Leaves And Leave

    | Chapel Hill, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am serving a middle-aged woman and her partner. I can tell as soon as I take drink orders that this is going to be an interesting table. After altering and modifying her entrée in every way possible, the woman decides to order a side salad.)

    Customer: “…and I want a side salad, lettuce, cheese and onions only!”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’ll go ahead and put your order in.”

    (A little while later, I bring out the salad and their entrees. The salad is comprised of mixed greens, shredded cheese, and onions. The woman takes one look at her salad and is clearly displeased.)

    Customer: “What is this?! These are leaves!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what seems to be the problem with the salad?”

    Customer: “These are leaves! You gave me leaves! Leaves! I’m not a pig! Pigs eat leaves! I’m a human! I’m a country gal and when I order a salad with PLAIN LETTUCE, I don’t want no leaves!”

    (At this point, her partner seems extremely embarrassed, but doesn’t say anything.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. I can replace the salad for you if you’d like.”

    Customer: “No! It’s too late! You’ve ruined my night! Just go!”

    (I leave them to their dinners, unsure of how to remedy the “leaves” situation. When I check on them a little bit later, the woman is still very upset about the salad. I offer to get my manager and she accepts.)

    Manager: “Hello, ladies, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Why are you smilin’?! Do you see me smilin’?! This isn’t a joke! And that waitress! She smiles too much, too! I’m just a country gal who wants some plain lettuce!”

    (In the end, the “leaves” get taken off her bill. At least she left a decent tip!)

    Customers Come In All Stripes

    | UK | Crazy Requests

    (It’s been an uneventful day at work…that is, until a young lady comes in asking if she can make a request.)

    Customer: “It’s coming up to my father’s birthday, and he never knows what to do.”

    Me: “Okay, so what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “So, I’m going around various attractions and places we could have a day out. I’m having my photo taken at each one to turn into a big poster so he has an idea of where we can go.”

    (I nod while she’s explaining this, as it sounds very reasonable.)

    Customer: “So, would you be able to take a photo of me pretending to bowl?”

    Me: “Yeah, sure! We’re not too busy, so I can do that for you.”

    Customer: “Great. Now, one more thing…”

    Me: “Sure, fire away.”

    Customer: “Can I do it dressed in a tiger costume?”

    Me: *laughing* “Sure, go ahead!”

    (She wasn’t pulling my leg: I took the picture of her dressed as a tiger, leaving me smiling for the rest of the night.)

    All Of The Calories, None Of The Taste

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a cashier at a local fast food place. A young woman approaches me.)

    Me: “Hello and welcome to [restaurant]. Can I take your order?”

    Customer: “I’d like a medium Diet Coke.”

    (I get the Diet Coke and give it to her. She pays and leaves. Five minutes later, she returns looking rather angry.)

    Me: “Hello, did you enjoy your Diet Coke?”

    Customer: “NO! This isn’t Diet Coke! I can taste the Coke in it!”

    Me: “Uh…let me get you a new one, then…”


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