Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver
    (1,820 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Fabricate An Excuse Not To

    | Lansdale, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (A customer comes into the fabric store where I work. She is holding a scrap of plain black fabric, about the size of a postage stamp.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I need help. I purchased a few yards of this fabric the other day, and I need more of it.”

    Me: “Okay, do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Do you have the serial number?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Uh, do you know what the fabric was called? Or where you found it?”

    Customer: “Nope.”

    Me: “So, you want me to look through every black fabric in the entire store until I find one that looks similar?”

    Customer: “Could you?”

    Purple People Displeaser

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (I work in the customer service department for an adult goods store. I receive a phone call.)

    Me: “Hello, you’re speaking to [name] at [adult store]; how can I help?”

    Customer: “I’m not happy with my order; it’s the wrong colour! I want an apology!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, sir; if you give me the order number I’ll investigate.”

    (The customer gives me his order number, and we verify the security details.)

    Me: “Okay, so which item was incorrect, please?”

    Customer: “It was the Purple [Name]!”

    Me: “I see, I’m very sorry to hear that. What colour did you receive?”

    Customer: “Purple! I don’t like purple!”

    Me: “So, you ordered an item called the Purple [Name], but you didn’t want it in purple? I’m afraid it only comes in purple, but we’d be happy to refund you.”

    Customer: “That’s not good enough! How was I supposed to know it was purple?! I don’t like purple things!”

    Me: “Okay, did you purchase this through our website?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was looking at the pictures and this one looked good, so I added it to my basket!”

    Me: “So, you saw that the item was purple in the picture. You saw it had purple in the name, and then you added it to your basket, and confirmed this when you selected your payment method; is that correct?”

    Customer: “Yes! But it didn’t send me a message to say it was purple! Your company is terrible!”

    From USB Port To Teleport

    | MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am chatting online with a potential customer.)

    Customer: “Hey, I really like this necklace. Can I pay by Paypal?”

    Me: “Absolutely, if you follow the instructions on check out, you can pay and leave your shipping address there. I’ll get it shipped in the morning.”

    Customer: “Do I have to leave an address? Can’t you just email it to me?”

    Me: “Email you for your address?”

    Customer: “No, email me the necklace. I don’t want to give you my address.”

    Me: “You want me to email you the necklace?”

    Customer: “Never mind, cancel it. You’re too much work!”

    The Cat Is Out Of The Bag

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (A customer is buying furniture to be delivered and assembled by our tech.)

    Customer: “I have cats, so whoever you send over must not be allergic.”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Make sure he’s a vegetarian, too.”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “He has to have brown hair, and an earring, but no tattoos. He needs to be good at sports.”

    Me: “I don’t think we can do all that.”

    Customer: “He needs to know a language other than English.”

    Me: “You’re just kidding, right?”

    Customer: “Yes. Just stick with the no cat allergy request.”

    Me: “Alright then.”

    Give Pizza A Chance

    | Merseyside, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (A customer calls for a pizza delivery.)

    Customer: “I want a large pizza with all the toppings.”

    Me: “We’ve got over 30 different kind of toppings; which would you like?”

    Customer: “All of them; I’m starving.”

    Me: “A pizza with 30 toppings isn’t going to taste very nice.”

    Customer: “I don’t care; I’m starving. I want all the toppings.”

    Me: “One of the toppings is sliced banana; do you want that one?”

    Customer: “Ugh! Banana? No, not on a pizza. Okay, leave that off.”

    Me: “Do you like olives?”

    Customer: “Er, no. None of them.”

    Me: “Anchovies?”

    Customer: “What are they?”

    Me: “Small strips of dried, salted fish.”

    Customer: “Ugh, no!”

    (We repeat this for 25 more items.)

    Me: “So, that’s a ham and mushroom on a thin crust, with you in 30 minutes.”

    Customer: “Er, yeah. Thanks.”


    Page 86/122First...8485868788...Last