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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Trying To Lend Color To The Argument

    | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes to the counter with two sheets of black and white images she has printed from her computer.)

    Customer: “Can you scan these and get someone to put all the pictures together so they go with the writing I have?”

    Me: “Sure we can. Do you have these pages saved digitally?”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Do you have them saved on a computer somewhere? Or on a USB drive?”

    Customer: “Yeah, on my computer at home.”

    Me: “Did you want to save them to a USB drive first and use the digital files? It would be a much better quality.”

    Customer: “I don’t know what a USB drive is.”

    Me: “It’s just a way of saving files so that you can transfer them to a different computer.”

    Customer: “No. Just use my print out.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Customer: “But can you scan them in colour?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because those are black and white.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “We can’t scan them in colour if there is no colour to scan.”

    Customer: “But they were in colour on my computer. So there’s colour in them.”

    Me: “Yes, there was colour on your computer, but you printed them in black and white. So when we scan the black and white print out, it’s going to be in black and white.”

    Customer: “But I want them in colour! I don’t understand why you can’t just change your scanner to the colour setting.”

    Me: “I could change it to the colour setting, but there is no colour on this page to scan. It’s all in greyscale, so it’s only going to scan it in greyscale.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Because a scanner just scans what it sees. It can’t pick up something that isn’t there.”

    Customer: “But you have colour scanners!”

    Me: “Yes, that is used to scan colour pictures.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why you can’t just scan it in colour!”

    Me: “Because it’s not a colour picture.”

    Customer: “Yes, it is! It was in colour before I printed it!”

    For You, We’re Always Closed, Part 3

    | Foley, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Customer service. How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Is this [Hardware Store]?”

    (I’m slightly confused, as to call the store you have to go through a menu and press certain numbers to actually get customer service, so it should be very clear that we are [Hardware Store].)

    Me: “Yes, Ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, your automatic thingy didn’t say so!”

    Me: “Oh, um… okay. Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Yes! I was really surprised to hear you’re closed on Thanksgiving!”

    Me: “Yes, Ma’am. We’re very happy to spend the day with our families.”

    Customer: “Your families? So you’re closed? What if MY family needs to buy something? Your family isn’t more important than mine! When you work in a store you should know you can’t have a family!”

    Me: “Ma’am, what exactly would you have to buy from [Hardware Store] on Thanksgiving Day?”

    Customer: “Well… well, I don’t know, but you should be open anyway! Just in case!”

    Related:
    For You, We’re Always Closed, Part 2
    For You, We’re Always Closed

    The Situation Is Unraveling And Unwrapping

    | Gulf Shores, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (We offer gift wrapping where I work. Customer #1 has had her gifts wrapped BEFORE she purchases them, so I have no idea what she’s buying. She goes to get one of each item from the shelves. Instead of bringing all her items up at once, she proceeds to get them one piece at a time and insist that each one is ringing up wrong, even when they aren’t. Meanwhile, a customer comes up behind her.)

    Me: “Sorry, we’re just waiting a bit.”

    Customer #2: “Oh, it’s fine.”

    (Customer #1 comes up with another shirt. I ring it up and, again, she argues about the price. It’s only a dollar difference so I just give it to her.)

    Customer #1: “Wait! How the h*** am I supposed to know what I bought? How do I know what is in each box?”

    Me: “I have no idea, Ma’am.”

    Customer #1: “Well, you’re just useless, aren’t you? Void me out! I’m going to unwrap all of these, have them rewrapped, and then buy them!” *turning to Customer #2* “God, can you believe the people they hire here?”"

    Customer #2: “Honestly, I can’t.”

    (Satisfied, Customer #1 moves down the counter and starts angrily unwrapping presents. Customer #2 puts her stuff on the counter, and in the process drops a candle.)

    Me: “Oh! Did that break? You can get another one.”

    (Customer #1 mutters something about me giving her a hard time and being too nice to Customer #2.)

    Customer #2: “Oh, no. It’s fine.”

    (Customer #2 places her candle on the counter, and I continue ringing her things up. As I start to ring up her jacket, I pull out the coat hanger and accidentally drop it. It hits Customer #2 in the chest.)

    Me: “Oh, my God. I am SO sorry!”

    Customer #2: *laughing* “Oh, I see how you are! I drop something in your floor, and you assault me!”

    Customer #1: “Oh, my God! I saw everything! I’ll be a witness if you want, and you can sue her for all she’s worth.”

    Customer #2: “Are you serious?”

    Customer #1: “Absolutely. You can HAVE her job.”

    Customer #2: “And have to deal with jerks like you all the time? Uh, no thanks!”

    (Customer #1 storms off.)

    Customer #2: “Thank God, eh? As I was saying, I can’t believe that [Retail Store] managed to find such a patient employee!”

    Paging All Psychics To Aisle Three

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Hey! I need help finding a product.”

    Me: “What are you looking for?”

    Customer: “I saw it on a commercial and know your store sells it.”

    Me: “Is it a beverage, food, or cleaner? Can you describe it or what kind of package it came in or the color of the package?”

    Customer: “I have no idea, but I know your store sells it and I want it now!”

    Credited Childsplay

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I work for a service that answers phones for TV commercials. One commercial in particular is giving us all fits! It is for a cup that freezes sweet liquids into slush-ice. The kids have been calling in, in DROVES, trying to get one. The offer is to be paid with a credit card and you have to be 18 or over to get it. This caller sounds like a five year old.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling for [Cup Product]! How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah. I wanna [Cup Product] thing.”

    Me: “Ma’am, do you have a credit card?”

    Caller: “Yeah. It’s 123456789.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that is not a card number. How old are you?”

    Caller: “Uh… I’m a hundred.”

    Me: “Ma’am, please get your mommy to come to the phone. If you want a [Cup Product], you have to have an adult with a credit card.”

    Caller: *getting crafty* “Uh, well, I already ordered it an’ used my Mommy’s—uh, my card. So, you can send it. Okay?”

    Me: “Now look, honey… You need to have an ADULT come to the phone. Go get someone older.”

    Caller: “Okay.”

    (There is the sound of the receiver being put down, then instantly picked up again. I hear the same voice, now pitched much lower.)

    Caller: “Hello? This is my Daddy. Please send me the [Cup Product] thingy, please!”

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