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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Not So Smart-Phone, Part 8

    | Holland, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (A customer walks in with his prepaid cell phone and a phone card, clearly used.)

    Me: “Hi! Something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Yeah. I just bought this card, and now my phone isn’t working!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Can I take a look at it?”

    (He hands the phone over. After a few moments, I realize his SIM card is outdated and he’ll have to get a new phone.)

    Me: “How long have you had this phone?”

    Customer: “Probably about four years. I thought they made them to last longer than this!”

    Me: “Well unfortunately, you’ll need a new SIM card. It’s an easy enough fix, and you’ll keep your minutes and phone number. You just have to give them a call and they’ll send you a new one, free of charge.”

    Customer: “How long will that take?”

    Me: “Three to five business days.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! That b**** who added this card screwed it up! I want a refund!”

    Me: “Give me just a minute.”

    (I call the phone company and confirm that the minutes that were added went through fine. It is simply the technology of the old SIM is outdated.)

    Me: “Sir, the minutes were added without a problem. It’s just a SIM card that’s causing an issue; that’s all.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! I demand a refund on these minutes, right now! Where’s your manager?”

    (I find a manager and explain the situation. She comes over with me.)

    Manager: “I heard you were having some issues with your phone. How can I help?”

    Customer: “By giving me a d*** refund on these minutes, that’s how!”

    Manager: “So you want the minutes refunded.”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Manager: “The minutes that are still clearly added to your phone.”

    Customer: “…yes.”

    Manager: “So the nice woman who helped you out did her job at the time.”

    Customer: “Yeah, well, I still want that b**** fired!”

    Manager: “That’s not going to happen, sir. In the meantime, please do as this young lady told you to get your phone fixed. That’s the most we can do at this time.”

    (He stares us both down for a minute before storming out.)

    Related:
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 7
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 6
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

    Throwing Around Bags Of Blame

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (I am ringing up an older customer—Customer #1—who has always been a bit difficult. I have a line and am trying to get it down as much as possible. The customer forgets her bag, so I put it aside in case she comes back—which she does. By now, I am serving a second customer.)

    Customer #1: “Did I leave a bag here?”

    Me: “Yeah, I have it right here for you.”

    Customer #1: “It’s your fault I left it here!”

    Me: “Oh? How is that?”

    Customer #1: “You were too busy and didn’t tell me how many bags I had! It’s all your fault! This is horrible customer service! I won’t be back!”

    (Fortunately, Customer #2 speaks up in my defense.)

    Customer #2: “How exactly is it your fault that she forgot something?”

    Me: *sarcastic* “Not sure. It’s obvious she’s never forgotten one before…”

    The Road To Hell Is Paved With Detoured Intentions

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top, Transportation

    (On break, I read on my phone that there has been a horrible truck accident. News reports say traffic will be shut down along that highway for several hours. After break, I am ringing up a customer and notice where she is from.)

    Me: “Just curious, but were you planning on taking the turnpike home?”

    Customer: “Yes, why?”

    Me: “There’s an accident, and it will be shut down for a few hours. You might want to try taking another route.”

    Customer: “What? This is ridiculous. What will you do for me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I’ll have to go out of my way; this will cost gas, and I might be late. You need to compensate me for that! Where’s your manager?”

    Me: “I am the department manager and… no. We won’t compensate you because the turnpike is closed.”

    Customer: “I’ll contact your headquarters! Forget this stuff; I’m not shopping here again!”

    (She storms off before finishing paying. Apparently she did contact our corporate, who were quite confused and wouldn’t give her compensation either.)

    Thinkless And Thankless

    | MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

    (To make it easier to keep track of how long things have been in our store, the date is printed on their tags along with a corresponding color. Right now we’re running a 50% off sale for almost every tag color except two, and there are multiple signs on our walls telling our customers this. A customer walks in briskly and approaches my counter without even looking at me.)

    Customer: “I don’t want to think today. You’re going to tell me the price of things.”

    Me: “Uh… okay?”

    (The customer shoves a coat in my face.)

    Customer: “How much is this?”

    Me: “Well, what does the tag say?”

    Customer: “I don’t want to think!”

    Me: *looks at tag* “Well, it says that it’s $69. It’s also printed on a mint green tag. That means it’s 50% off right now.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to think about it! How much is that?”

    Me: “Well, half of 70 is 35, so it will be about $35.”

    (The customer leaves the coat on my counter, and walks away in a huff. She then brings up another coat.)

    Customer: “How much is this one?”

    Me: “Well, what does that tag say?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! I don’t want to think about it!”

    Me: “The tag says it’s $99, and since it’s an orange tag, there’s no discount on it today.”

    (The customer throws this coat down on top of the other, then proceeds to bring me a third.)

    Customer: “How much is this one?”

    Me: “Well, what does the tag say?”

    Customer: “I already told you that I don’t want to think about it!”

    (She walks out of my store angrily. Meanwhile, one of the regulars who was in the store and witnessed the entire exchange comes up to me.)

    Regular: “Wow. She didn’t even say thank you.”

    Paying A Hire Price

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top

    (I’m purchasing something from my workplace, and they happen to give very generous discounts to employees.)

    Manager: “Alright kiddo, that’ll be $5.59.”

    (I pay for my item. The next customer in line happens to be purchasing the same item.)

    Manager: “That’ll be $22.39, please.”

    Customer: “What!? That guy only paid five bucks for his! Why do I have to pay over $20?”

    Manager: “Sir, he works here. He gets an employee discount.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not paying this price! I want to pay what he paid! This is a complete rip-off!”

    Manager: “Alright, when can you start?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Manager: “The discount is for employees only. When can you start? I think I can arrange an interview for you next week.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** would I want to work here? I already have a well-paying job! I don’t want to deal with any stupid customers!”

    Manager: “And that’s why he gets a discount, and you don’t!”

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