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  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    On A Power Trip

    | Maryland, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I work nights in a call center. Tonight, I am taking calls for a company that handles electric repairs for farm equipment and generators. Since they have “Electric” in their name, we get a lot of calls for people trying to reach the power company. It’s about 2 AM.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. Can I help you?”

    Caller: “I ain’t got no ‘lectric.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but this isn’t—”

    Caller: “What you gonna do ’bout it? My son has asthma; he can’t be without air conditioning!”

    (Note that it’s about 50 degrees outside, so it’s not hot at all.)

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that as well, but this isn’t—”

    Caller: “He’s turning blue!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think you should take him to the emergency room right away!”

    Caller: “They ain’t got no power either!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can see the hospital from my office window. They appear to have power.”

    Caller: “Listen, you! We have no power and my child is sick. You need to do something.”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve been trying to explain, this isn’t your electric company. This is a a generator company for farm equipment. I’m pretty sure you have the wrong number. If you are concerned about the child, I urge you to take them to the hospital or call 911!”

    Caller: “If you came into MY restaurant to eat, got sick, and called to complain, I would fix the problem. I wouldn’t tell you to go to the hospital!”

    Me: “Ma’am, at this point, I really feel you are being needlessly antagonistic. I’ve told you that you have the wrong number and there’s nothing I can do for you. If you don’t want to take him to the hospital and he needs air conditioning to breathe, I suggest you take him outside. It’s only 50 degrees out—”

    Caller: “Did you just call me evil?! I’ll have your job for this! I’m recording this call, you little b****! And when I find you–”

    Me: “All of our calls are recorded, ma’am. If you continue to threaten me, I will contact the police. You have the wrong number. Good night.”

    (She calls back at least a dozen more times, continuing not to listen, refusing to believe she has the wrong number, or that there is power at the hospital.)

    Take Back That Rollback

    | UK | Crazy Requests

    (It’s promotion changeover day, so I’m making my way around the store removing all of the old price tickets that need to be changed and replacing them with new ones. Some of them have lower prices on.)

    Customer: “How dare you?!”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “How dare you lower these prices? You’re taking money away from this business! Get me your manager, please!”

    All Sold Out Of Death Notes

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Crazy Requests

    (The bookstore is located in the center of town, so we often have peculiar occurrences.)

    Me: “Hi there, sir. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a card.”

    Me: “Our card section is right this way. What occasion did you need the card for?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a card for my enemy.”

    Me: “Um, okay—”

    Customer: “I want it to say ‘DIE, BASTARD, DIE!’”

    Me: “I’m…afraid we don’t actually have any cards to fit your needs. Your best bet is to try down the road at [competitor's] store.”

    Try Wallmart

    | Queensland, Australia | Crazy Requests

    (I work in the kitchen department of a furniture store.)

    Customer: “This kitchen says $899.00. What do you get for that price?”

    Me: “Well, miss, that price covers kitchen cabinets, a bench top, legs and handles, but not the sink, tap or appliances.”

    Customer: “So, you get everything?”

    Me: “Everything except the sink, tap, and appliances.”

    Customer: “Oh, so you don’t get the sink, tap, or appliances, but everything else?”

    Me: “Yep, everything else in that kitchen.”

    Customer: “So, you get the wall?”

    Me: “No…the wall is not included.”

    Customer: “But it says everything except the sink, tap, and appliances. It doesn’t say you don’t get the wall.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, I am confident that I cannot sell you our wall.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? Can you check for me please? Can you just make sure because that’s not what it says.”

    Me: *speechless* “I’ll get my manager.”

    Manager: “No, ma’am, the walls are not included with the price of our kitchens. Otherwise, we could only sell four of them before we’d need to rebuild the entire store.”

    Misery Demands Company, Part 2

    | Australia | Crazy Requests

    (I’m a little hyperactive and ditzy, but mostly it comes off as being friendly, or so I think, until this customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Miss, exactly what kind of drugs are you on?”

    Me: “None at all, I assure you.”

    Customer: “Bulls***! You can’t just be that happy!”

    Me: *completely bewildered* “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “That’s more like it!” *picks up his things and leaves*

    Misery Demands Company

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