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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Not The Best Way To Spread Your Art

    | Washington, D.C., USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (It’s my second day as an intern at an art gallery. We have guidelines for artists who wish to submit artwork. I’m by myself in the gallery when an artist wearing cut-offs and flip-flops walks in. She’s carrying a huge canvas that is as big as she is, but I can’t see what’s painted on it as the front is facing away from me.)

    Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

    Artist: “Yeah, I was wondering if you could hang this up?”

    Me: “Well, we don’t accept walk-in submissions like this, and even if we did, the gallery owner isn’t in right now. If you go to our website, you can follow the submission guidelines.”

    Artist: “But I have the art right here! Can’t you hang it up?”

    (At this point she finally turns the canvas around: it’s a life-size, poorly-painted, VERY nude self-portrait of the artist sitting down with her hands on her knees and her hair sticking up in all directions. Worst of all, she has painted herself with her knees splayed and her lady parts in high definition.)

    Me: “Oh…”

    Artist: “I’ll just leave this here, then!”

    Me: *panicking* “No, wait! You really have to fill out an artist’s submission and we’ll get back to you. I can’t just hang up art without the owner present. Also, we specialize in abstract expressionist art, not…erm…figurative art.”

    Artist: *looking at her painting* “But this is pretty funky!”

    Me: “Yes it is, but I’m sorry, I really can’t accept it. Thank you for coming in.”

    (The artist eventually left. Unfortunately, that meant she was carrying her enormous nude self-portrait in full display down the busiest street in town. I have to admire her pluck!)

    Cooking Up Fresh Fierce Hairdos Daily

    | Montana, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (The restaurant I work at is rather unimaginatively named after the street where we are located. There is an equally unimaginatively named salon just a block away from us. We get calls for them often enough that we posted their number next to our phone so we can give it to customers who called by accident.)

    Me: “[Restaurant], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to schedule a hair cut and color for tomorrow.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, this is [restaurant], not the salon. I have their number right here if you’d like to take it down.”

    Caller: “No, no, no! I don’t want a restaurant. I want to schedule a hair cut.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I’m afraid you have the wrong number. The salon’s number is—”

    Caller: “NO! I want to schedule a hair cut.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I understand that, but I’m afraid I can’t do that for you. This is a restaurant.”

    Caller: “I don’t understand why you can’t just make an appointment for me! I want to speak with your manager!”

    Me: “I’m afraid my manager is unavailable at the moment.”

    Caller: “Fine! I’ll just come in first thing tomorrow for a walk-in. Expect me to talk with your manager then!”

    Me: “You do that, ma’am. Have a nice evening.”

    Caller: *click*

    (Our manager actually got a call from the extremely amused salon manager the next day. Apparently, she had to promise to “fire” me as the woman would not believe that she had called the wrong number!)

    On A Power Trip

    | Maryland, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I work nights in a call center. Tonight, I am taking calls for a company that handles electric repairs for farm equipment and generators. Since they have “Electric” in their name, we get a lot of calls for people trying to reach the power company. It’s about 2 AM.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. Can I help you?”

    Caller: “I ain’t got no ‘lectric.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but this isn’t—”

    Caller: “What you gonna do ’bout it? My son has asthma; he can’t be without air conditioning!”

    (Note that it’s about 50 degrees outside, so it’s not hot at all.)

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that as well, but this isn’t—”

    Caller: “He’s turning blue!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think you should take him to the emergency room right away!”

    Caller: “They ain’t got no power either!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can see the hospital from my office window. They appear to have power.”

    Caller: “Listen, you! We have no power and my child is sick. You need to do something.”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve been trying to explain, this isn’t your electric company. This is a a generator company for farm equipment. I’m pretty sure you have the wrong number. If you are concerned about the child, I urge you to take them to the hospital or call 911!”

    Caller: “If you came into MY restaurant to eat, got sick, and called to complain, I would fix the problem. I wouldn’t tell you to go to the hospital!”

    Me: “Ma’am, at this point, I really feel you are being needlessly antagonistic. I’ve told you that you have the wrong number and there’s nothing I can do for you. If you don’t want to take him to the hospital and he needs air conditioning to breathe, I suggest you take him outside. It’s only 50 degrees out—”

    Caller: “Did you just call me evil?! I’ll have your job for this! I’m recording this call, you little b****! And when I find you–”

    Me: “All of our calls are recorded, ma’am. If you continue to threaten me, I will contact the police. You have the wrong number. Good night.”

    (She calls back at least a dozen more times, continuing not to listen, refusing to believe she has the wrong number, or that there is power at the hospital.)

    Take Back That Rollback

    | UK | Crazy Requests

    (It’s promotion changeover day, so I’m making my way around the store removing all of the old price tickets that need to be changed and replacing them with new ones. Some of them have lower prices on.)

    Customer: “How dare you?!”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “How dare you lower these prices? You’re taking money away from this business! Get me your manager, please!”

    All Sold Out Of Death Notes

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Crazy Requests

    (The bookstore is located in the center of town, so we often have peculiar occurrences.)

    Me: “Hi there, sir. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a card.”

    Me: “Our card section is right this way. What occasion did you need the card for?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a card for my enemy.”

    Me: “Um, okay—”

    Customer: “I want it to say ‘DIE, BASTARD, DIE!’”

    Me: “I’m…afraid we don’t actually have any cards to fit your needs. Your best bet is to try down the road at [competitor's] store.”


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