Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Knowledge On Fizzy Is Fuzzy, Part 2

, | Williamston, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Technology

(I’m a manager at a fast food restaurant. It’s a little past six am, and we have just opened, when the phone rings.)

Me: “This is [Store]. How may I help you?”

(The caller sounds like a teenage girl.)

Caller: “Hi! Um… so… I was wondering… Do you have any pop without fizz?”

Me: “Well, we have Orange HiC, Frutopia, and Powerade. Those are all of the fountain drinks that don’t have fizz.”

Caller: “But don’t you have any POP without fizz?”

Me: “No ma’am, I’m sorry. We don’t.”

Caller: “Well, couldn’t you just… take the fizz out?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. I don’t really have a way of doing that. It comes out of the fountain that way.”

Caller: “But, aren’t the syrup and the fizz separate? Couldn’t you make it come out without the fizz?”

Me: “I don’t believe so.”

Caller: “Well, couldn’t you try?”

Me: “I don’t think so. I’d be messing with a lot of equipment that I’m not really qualified to operate, and I wouldn’t want to break anything.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, that’s very disappointing.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Caller: “Yes! Can I get a burger?”

Me: “Yes, if you come into the store and order one.”

Caller: “Oh. I could come in right now and get one? It isn’t breakfast or something?”

Me: “Well, yes, we do serve breakfast until 11 am. I just meant that I can’t take your order or give you food over the phone; if you want to order food, you’d need to come up to the store and order it in person.”

Caller: “But you’re on breakfast until 11 am?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “Oh. Well… thanks… I guess…”

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Caller: “No, I guess not.”

Me: “All right! Thank you for calling. Have a great day!”

Caller: “Bye!”

Me: *bursts out laughing*

Coworker: “What the heck was that about?”

Me: “Either that was one of the most entertaining prank calls I’ve ever gotten, or… Well, I don’t want to think about it if she was actually serious!”

Related:
Knowledge On Fizzy Is Fuzzy

A Lost Lost Cause

| IN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a supermarket service desk. I have just clocked in when a customer comes up and I greet her and ask what I could do for her, per usual.)

Customer: “Yes, I’ve lost my sunglasses. Has anyone turned them in?”

Me: “Let me check for you, ma’am. What do they look like?”

Customer: *irrationally irate and screams* “SUNGLASSES!”

Me: “Yes, but what do they look like? Like, the color of the frames, or if they’re name brand?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know! You don’t know if they’re back there? They’re like a tortoise-shell color, like the brown and black design!”

Me: “Okay. Let me check for you.”

(I check my drawer below my register and only see some reading glasses and a pair of children’s sunglasses.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but they don’t seem to be here.”

Customer: “Well, I left them in the restroom and they’re not THERE!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. They’re not here at the moment, but if you’d like I can take your name and num—”

Customer: “So you KNOW they’re not back there?”

Me: “Yes. There are no sunglasses that fit your description back here, but if you’d—”

Customer: “So. YOU KNOW!? You have that authority? Who are you? Who are you?! What’s your name?”

Me: “I am [My Name], but yes, I’ve looked in any area your glasses may be and they’re not here.”

Customer: “And you KNOW this?”

Me: “Yes. If you’d like I can take your information down and we can call you if they are turned in. Sometimes items aren’t turned in until someone has finished shopping and—”

Customer: “I know that! Do I seem stupid?”

(She then walked off without giving me her information.)

In The Place Of No Return

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Top

(An older person walks into the store with their gaming laptop.)

Employee: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I have a virus on my computer. I had antivirus software, so I want to return it.”

Employee: “Did you update your antivirus software?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to. They should include every virus!”

Employee: “New viruses come out every day. Can I see your receipt?”

Customer: *hands over receipt*

Employee: “This is from [Competitor].”

Customer: “So? You sell computers. You should take it back. And you have pay me $100 for every hour I spend downloading my games again. I have DIALUP!”

Employee: “You will need to return this to [Competitor].”

Customer: “They said no.”

Employee: “Would you like a new computer?”

Customer: “I’d like to speak to your manager.”

Employee: “I’m the manager.”

Customer: “You have horrible customer service.”

Employee: “That’s because I reserve it for CUSTOMERS.”

Appointment Disappointment

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(I work in a retail portrait studio that gets very busy during the holiday season. It is a busy Saturday, and we are completely booked. A woman walks in with her family dressed to the nines and says she’s checking in for her appointment, but I don’t see it.)

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t see you in the system. What time was your appointment for?”

Customer: “10:40 am. Are you almost ready for me? My daughter won’t cooperate for long.”

(The current time is 3:30 pm.)

Me: “Oh, well, since your appointment was for this morning I won’t be able to get you in now because we are fully booked—”

Customer: “What do you mean? I made an appointment and I expect to be seen!”

Me: “Yes, but you are five hours late for your appointment. As I was saying, we are booked today but I do have time tomorrow if you like.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I can’t believe you don’t honor appointments!”

Me: “We do, but you are five hours late.”

Customer: “But you should be ahead of schedule!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I didn’t show up for my appointment earlier so you should be ahead of schedule now since you had one less appointment to do!”

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately, all of the other guests we’ve had today didn’t magically know to show up earlier for their appointment because you wanted to come in later.”

(She continued to rant about how we should be ahead of schedule for her until we finally asked her to calm down or leave. The other guests in our very crowded studio started clapping when she left.)

A Total PPOODJ-Head

, | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Crazy Requests, Funny Names, Technology

(I am working behind the ‘print and copy’ counter at my store. A customer who is known for her deliberate time wasting and rudeness comes in to use the self-serve photo printing kiosks. She calls me over because I haven’t served her before, so she sees me as a new target. She doesn’t know that I know exactly who she is and what tricks she uses. I also know that she is capable of using the machines on her own, as she does so when she thinks no one is watching.)

Customer: “I don’t know how to type in my name. You do it for me.”

Me: *very politely* “Yes, you do, ma’am. Do you remember last time when [Coworker #1] showed you just how to do it? Or the time when [Coworker #2] made sure you knew just how to use the machine? Now, these machines are self-serve. Why not have a play around with them yourself? I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Customer: “YOU DO IT.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I have customers. As I have mentioned, this is a self-serve machine. I’ll be more than happy to help you when I don’t have customers lining up. Please excuse me.”

(I go back to my counter and help the line of customers who are actually paying for the service of having me help them. She soon comes over to the counter with her ticket to pay for her photos. Her name is displayed on the ticket as ‘PPOODJ,’ obviously just random letter that she’s mashed.)

Customer: “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO! LOOK! PPOODJ! I AM NOT A PPOODJ! LOOK!”

Me: “It doesn’t matter, ma’am. Your photos will be ready in a few minutes. The name doesn’t really matter at all. That will be [amount].”

(She pays and waits for her photos, grumbling.)

Customer: *over her shoulder as she is leaving the store* “PPOODJ!”

(She never asked for help again while I was working, and wouldn’t you know it, never had any troubles using the machine from then on.)

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