November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Fired Before You’re Hired

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I’m at a very large store with my mother. While she is getting some groceries, I wander to the electronics area. I hadn’t realized that I was wearing a shirt similar colored to the ones the employees wear, and a keychain around my neck. I heard a customer asking someone for help for some while, but I obviously had nothing to do with it.)

Customer: *angrily storms up to right beside me* “EXCUSE ME!

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: *visibly irritated and switching a baby from hip to hip* “I’ve been trying to get your help for the past two minutes! I need you to open up the games’ case!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t help you. I actua—”


Me: “Ma’am, I don’t w—”

Customer: “I want to see your manager! He NEEDS to know that you’re just lazying about, refusing to help those who PAY your bills!”

Me: “See, that’s impossible because I actually work at—”

(The customer angrily storms off and I just sort of shrug it off. I continue browsing and start to make my way over to back by my mom a few minutes later when the enraged customer and an obvious employee come over.)

Customer: “Yeah! This is the f****** lazy dumb-a** who was refusing to help me!”

Employee: *annoyed* “Where’s your name tag? What’s your name?”

Me: *fed up* “I don’t work here!”

Customer: “Yeah, not anymore you lazy b****! You’re too stupid to even work at [Store]!”

Employee: “Which department are you because I want to speak with the department manager about their negligence in supervision!”

(At this time, my mom came around because I’d been taking so long, and she gets pulled into the argument. It took fifteen minutes and the electronics department manager before they told me to ‘just not come in for the next shift.’ I got fired from a job I never had.)

Tourists From The Land Of Irony

| Wales, UK | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

(Wales is currently enjoying a heat wave; temperatures in our popular beach resort have averaged about 28°C (about 82°F) for nearly a fortnight and the town and beach are completely packed out with holidaymakers and day-trippers.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to complain.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that; what’s the problem?”

Customer: “There’s too many tourists.”

Me: “Oh, well you can blame Mr. Sunshine for that; it’s been packed to capacity here since the schools broke up for summer. Everyone wants a splash in the sea!”

Customer: “Yeah, I know. I mean, that’s why we came. We drove down for the day from [Major Midland City]. We just didn’t think it would be busy.”

Me: “You didn’t think the first Saturday of the school holidays that is also the hottest day of the year so far for Wales would cause [Town] to become busy?”

Customer: “Well… no.”

Me: “I’m sorry you aren’t happy but there isn’t a lot I can do from here.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not fair. I’ve spent £40 filling my car with petrol and had to sit in queues of traffic. I want an empty beach!”

Me: “Well, there’s quieter beaches than [Town]. Since you have a car maybe you could drive to [Nearby Beach] or [Other Nearby Beach]. Those are accessed over sand dunes so a lot of people don’t go there.”

Customer: “So now you’re telling me I’ve wasted £3.50 on an all-day parking ticket?”

Me: “Well, if you want to stay in [Town] then you can. If you want to go to a quieter beach and come back to [Town] for food then your ticket will still be valid.”

Customer: “Hrrmph. I suppose so. I wish you wouldn’t let tourists here though. It spoils it.”

Turn Off The Holy Light

| NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I work at a hotel near a well-known liberal arts university. A dog show was recently hosted at its athletics complex, and some very… interesting… guests were attracted to it. This call took place just before midnight.)

Me: “Good evening, front desk. This is [My Name].”

Guest: “Yes, hi, I’m in room [number]. I was wondering if you could help me out. My Pomeranian gets excited when he sees lights shining on buildings, and he won’t stop barking at a nearby building.”

Me: “Well… could you describe the building to me, ma’am?”

Guest: “Yes. It’s a tall green steeple with a clock on it, like you’d see on top of a church.”

Me: “Ma’am, I think you’re describing the chapel at the university.”

Guest: “Okay. Do you know if they turn the lights off?”

Me: “They don’t, I’m afraid. Would it be possible just to shut your curtains?”

Guest: “Oh, I don’t think I can do that. I really need the curtains open… I can’t sleep when it’s totally dark.”

Me: “Okay, well, if it’s going to be an issue for your dog, I’d be happy to help you move to a room that faces either the courtyard or the golf course.”

Guest: “Well… I’d rather not do that. Do you think you could just call the university and ask them to turn the lights off?”

(At this point, I fall silent in astonishment. She’s basically wanting me to call the police department of the university and ask them to turn off the lights on the most recognizable landmark on the campus, simply so her little precious will shut up.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m afraid that that’s not something I can do. However, again, there are several options, and I’d be happy to accommodate you with any of them.”

Guest: “So you’re not going to accommodate my request, though?”

Me: “Ma’am, I am happy to accommodate any requests that are within my power to fulfill. This one is not.”

Guest: *hangs up*

(Three days later, I get called into the manager’s office.)

Manager: “So I got a nasty email from a guest this weekend, saying you wouldn’t help her out. What’s up with this?”

(I tell the manager the whole story.)

Manager: “Huh. Well, don’t worry. She was rude to half the staff anyway.”

An Epidemic Of Stupidity

, | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Holidays

(I work for a company that sells emergency preparedness gear, including gas masks, chemical suits, and other disaster response equipment. Any time there’s a disaster or terrorist attack, our sales go through the roof by ‘preppers’ and other panicking individuals. Recently, there’s been an Ebola epidemic with the first cases occurring in the United States; thousands of orders have been coming in and those who ordered entire sets of equipment are backlogged at least a month.)

Customer: “I’m checking on an order. I was charged but haven’t seen any shipping info yet. I placed it 7-10 days ago.”

Me: “And did you order any gas masks or full sets of equipment?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. I ordered a suit. For Halloween.”

Me: *thinking such a small order should have been finished, I pull up his information* “Sir, you didn’t order just a suit, you ordered an entire protective kit… mask, filter, suit, gloves, boots, etc.”

Customer: “That’s it!”

Me: “Sir, there’s a minimum one month delay on protective gear right now due to high order volume.”

Customer: “So, you mean I won’t have it for Halloween?”

Me: “No, sir. There is a panic epidemic going on and you were one of thousands who’ve been ordering these products.”

Customer: “Wow. I had no idea. So there’s no way I’m going to get a protective suit by Halloween?”

Me: “Sir, the entire industry is wiped clean. GLOBALLY. It will take them months to get back up to speed.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you should really let people know when there’s an epidemic going on, so we know there’ll be delays.”

Dishrag For The Hag

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m currently working in a hotel helping out at our breakfast bar as the assistant to the usual hostess. She would usually work alone but since we sold out she asked me to come in and help attend to the guests’ needs. I’m cleaning a table when I glance around and see a woman with a rather irritated look on her face…)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. Is everything to your liking this morning?”

Guest: “NO! The carpet in the halls smell horrible, the rooms are overpriced and small, the gym for your place is across the road, and you let pets stay here. This hotel is the worst I ever stayed at.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. We always try our best to please our guests and provide a clean facility. We apologize about the workout center being across the road but we didn’t have room to build it into the hotel at our last renovation.”

(While saying all this I was thinking if she can’t even cross a road she probably isn’t much of a fitness person.)

Me:  “Is there anything I can get for you from our breakfast bar? I might be able to place a special order if you would like.”

Guest: “Nothing you have to offer can make up for a crappy place like this. As soon as my husband is finished we’re leaving.”

Me: *trying to act politely interested* “Okay. Well. I hope you enjoy your trip today, Where are you two heading? Do you need any direc—”

Guest: “Don’t! Just. Stop. Talking. I hate talking to everyone in the morning and you’re only annoying me.”

Me: *at this point I want to throw my dishrag at her but merely smile* “Okay. Let me know if you do need something.”

(A moment later, as I continue cleaning another table, another guest comes up to sit at the recently cleaned seat.)

Other Guest: “I have no clue what she was talking about because this place is the best stop we made our whole trip. This town is great and the customer service is excellent here. I don’t know how you kept your cool with her; I would have choked her with that dishrag.”

(I’m laughing inside since I wasn’t the only one to think this. After a while I tell my coworker what happened and she goes to talk to the husband while the wife is away. She comes back to assure me that everything is fine with a suppressed smile on her face.)

Coworker: “I asked if he needed anything and he replied ‘a new wife! She’s driving me crazy this trip and has complained everywhere we went!'”

(I wanted to offer him my dishrag for the road.)