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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Must Have Been The Funny Farm

    | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (Note: I work in a farm supply store. In addition to selling the usual stuff like equipment, animal feed, and seed, it also sells chickens and chicks.)

    Customer: “Where are your nugget chickens?”

    Me: “…Pardon?”

    Customer: “Your NUGGET chickens!”

    Me: “I’m afraid I’m not understanding what you are looking for. Are you wanting to purchase chicks, or perhaps full grown chickens?”

    Customer: “No, no, no! You know, the chickens that lay nuggets!”

    Me: *puzzled expression*

    Customer: “CHICKEN NUGGET CHICKENS, for crying out loud! I promised my son I’d get him one! He loves chicken nuggets!”

    Me: “Ma’am, chicken nuggets are not laid by chickens. Chickens lay eggs. Nuggets are small pieces of chicken that have been breaded and baked or fried.”

    Customer: “I’ll have you know, Missy, I grew up on a farm and I know what I’m talking about! Nevermind, I’ll just try the store in the next town. You’re worthless!”

    Hardcovers Vs. Hard Hats

    | Melbourne, Australia | Crazy Requests

    Customer: “Hi, do you have any safety vests?”

    Me: “Safety vests?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Safety vests.”

    Me: “Like the ones that are neon yellow with reflective stripes?”

    Customer: “Yes! A safety vest! Are you an idiot?”

    Me: “Uhhh, no sir, but we’re a science fiction bookstore. You’d want a hardware store for that kind of thing.”

    Customer: “Well, why DON’T you sell them?”

    Me: “Because we sell books.”

    Customer: “Well, you should!”

    Me: “I don’t think many of our customers would normally want a safety vest when they come into a bookstore, sir.”

    Customer: “Well, I did!”

    Related:
    Please See The “Time Travel” Section

    No Need To Drive This Deal Home

    | Illinois, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Top

    (I have just brought a middle-aged couple back from a test drive. We are going over the price of the car.)

    Me: “With your trade and money down, we’re looking at about $400 per month for the base model, and $440 per month fully-loaded.”

    Husband: “But we only wanted to spend $500 to $550 or more per month!”

    Me: “…Excuse me?”

    Wife: “Like he said, we’re looking to spend no more than $550.”

    Me: “Well, yes. Even if you get the fully loaded model, it’s far under $500 per month.”

    Husband: “NO! What part of ‘$500 per month’ don’t you understand?”

    Me: “Not a problem, sir. I definitely think we can make the numbers work for you at $500 per.”

    Wife: “Much better. We’ll take it, then!”

    Would You Like That For Her Or To Go

    , | Lindale, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Love/Romance

    (I am in drive-thru, using a head set to communicate with customers. A male customer pulls up.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “I’m doing well! How are you tonight?”

    Me: “I’m good! What can I get for you?”

    (The customer places his order, but has a question that I am unable to answer. So, my manager speaks into the headset to answer him.)

    Customer: “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL?!”

    Manager: “Sir, you’ll see her at the window.”

    Customer: “WELL, BUTT OUT OF OUR CONVERSATION!”

    (The customer pulls up to window.)

    Customer: “TELL YOUR BOSS TO LEAVE US ALONE!” *glares at the window*

    Me: “Um, yes sir…”

    Your Car Must Have A Telepathic Transmission

    | Ohio, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

    (A customer calls my shop asking for a price on a car part.)

    Customer: “I need a price on a piece for a window in my car. No other shop seems to be able to give me a price.”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am, I’d be glad to help you. What kind of car do you have, and what part is broken?”

    Customer: “Does that matter?”

    Me: “Well yes, ma’am…prices are different depending on what part and what car.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not giving you that information!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, without a little more to work with I won’t be able to find out what it would cost you. If you’d be willing to tell me the vehicle and part, I could get you an exact price.”

    Customer: “Okay, smarta***, don’t give me an exact price then. Just give me a ball park.”

    Me: “Well, the part could range anywhere from $50 to $3,000. But again, it all depends on the year, make, model, and what part is broken.”

    Customer: “I don’t appreciate being patronized! There is no way that this could cost $3,000!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, it could depending on what the damaged part—”

    Customer: “I want to give you a business tip: if a customer asks for a price, you give them an exact price! You don’t give them a ball park figure if they ask for an exact price, and you certainly don’t make up outrageous figures like that. If you expect to stay in business, you should work on being more helpful! *slams down phone*


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