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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    No Common Scents, Part 2

    | Destin, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I work in a skin and body care store part time. We have dozens of different scents and lotion types.)

    Me: “Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I need a lotion.”

    Me: “Absolutely! Did you need something ultra-moisturizing, or hypoallergenic? Or maybe a certain scent?”

    Customer: “Just give me one that smells good.”

    Me: “Okay, do you prefer floral scents, or fruity ones, or—”

    Customer: “God, why are you making this so difficult? Just give me one that smells good! How hard can that be?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, what I think smells good may not be what you think smells good. Every customer is different.”

    Customer: “Just give me some d*** lotion!”

    Me: *sighs* “Here, try this one.”

    (I hand her our best-selling verbena lotion.)

    Customer: “Thank you, was that so hard?”

    (One hour later…)

    Customer: “I want to return this lotion! It smells TERRIBLE! Why would you give this to me?”

    Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. The outlet store does not allow returns. However, if you would like to tell me what kind of scent you prefer, maybe we can exchange it.”

    Customer: *grumbles* “Fine. Got anything in rose?”

    Related:
    No Common Scents

    Has The Drive To Cheat And Lie

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Love/Romance

    (I work in a car insurance call center.)

    Customer: “Oh, the policy isn’t in my name.”

    Me: “May I speak to the policy holder to get permission to speak to you and add you to the policy?”

    Customer: “No, she’s not speaking to me.”

    Me: “Okay, well that just means I am unable to give you any information or make any changes for you at this point of time.”

    Customer: “But it’s my car! She just took me off all the policies after I cheated on her.”

    (I have no idea what to say.)

    Customer: “Never mind, I’ll just call back and pretend I’m her.” *click*

    Paying For Their Mistake

    | Albany, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (I work at a fairly well known 50s theme restaurant, where we offer a movie and a meal deal. If you buy an adult entree and drink, then you get a movie ticket for $8. A customer is ordering and asks about the offer.)

    Me: “Just so you know, you do have to order an adult entree for the offer to work.”

    Customer: “Jeez, I know. I want fries and a water, and two kids chocolate shakes, and chicken tenders for them.”

    (I place their order, and when it comes up, I bring it over. They eat it and seem very happy.)

    Customer: “Can I please get my check, and can you get me one of those movie tickets please?”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but since you didn’t get an adult entree and drink, you can’t get a movie ticket for $8.”

    Customer: “I did get an adult drink, water. Kids don’t drink water, and french fries count as an entree in my case.”

    Me: “You have to buy a drink. Water is given out for free. And fries are not an entree. They are an appetizer or side.”

    Customer: “Let me speak to your manager.”

    (The manager comes over. He has observed everything.)

    Customer: “Give me my d*** ticket. She’s stealing from me. She probably did charge me for my ticket, but is being a b**** and refusing to give it to me.”

    Manager: “I can assure you she has not charged you for the ticket because the cash register won’t even allow it to be added unless there is an adult entree and drink. Would you like to order food to go so you can get a ticket?”

    Customer: “What the f***! After such bad service, I am never coming here again!”

    (The customer grabs her two kids, and walks out without paying. A customer who has been watching from the counter area comes over.)

    Customer #2: “Here’s $30 to cover their bill so you don’t have to, and a tip because she didn’t. May I please have my check?”

    (Customer #2 leaves me a sizable tip, and even gives me a compliment. Thank you lady! That check would’ve had to come out my tips!)

    Rent Is More Important

    , | New York, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    Me: “Good afternoon, ticket central.”

    Customer: “Your website is the worst.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, ma’am. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I want help.”

    Me: “Clearly. Would you like me to help you purchase tickets to a specific show?”

    Customer: “Yes. I guess.”

    Me: “What play?”

    Customer:Belleville.”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am. The entire run of Belleville is sold-out.”

    Customer: “No it isn’t.”

    Me: “Yes. It is.”

    Customer: “Says who?”

    Me: “Says me.”

    Customer: “I WANT THOSE TICKETS! I WANT THEM NOW!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there’s nothing I can do. The play is sold-out, and I would suggest that you calm down as tickets to an off-Broadway play aren’t nearly as important as things like a roof over one’s head or food on one’s table.”

    Customer: “MAYBE FOR YOU!” *click*

    No Room For Negotiation

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (My hotel is the only one near a very busy pavilion. During concert season, we book up solid.)

    Me: “Hello. May I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I need a room.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we have no more.”

    Caller: “WHAT! You’re lying.”

    Me: “I’m not.”

    Caller: “Yes, you are. You have rooms left. Aren’t you still waiting on people to show up?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Caller: “Well then, give me their room! I’m here, and they’re not!”

    Me: “I can’t.”

    Caller: “WHY NOT!”

    Me: “Because they’ve reserved that room. I have to hold it for a few more hours. If they still don’t show until then, you may have it.”

    Caller: “That’s stupid! You’re just being mean!”

    Me: “No, what’s ‘mean’ is if I gave you their room that they booked. How would you like it if I gave one of your rooms that you booked?”

    Caller: *blank stare*

    Me: “Exactly…”

    Caller: “You just lost some money!” *storms off*

    (The reservation did show, so we didn’t.)

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