Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,147 thumbs up)
  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    The Poster Child For Unreasonableness

    | Mankato, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer has a very, very old and tattered poster. Since she doesn’t want all of the poster framed, we talk about having it cut down in size. I always advise that customers research the value of their artwork before cutting.)

    Customer: “It could be worth a lot of money.”

    Me: “That’s true. We can save this order as an estimate until you can look it up and see what the value is before you cut it.”

    Customer: “How do you do that?”

    Me: “Since there isn’t a title, I would suggest you look it up on the internet by the band and the date on the poster.”

    Customer: “Oh! I know!! I could order a copy and cut that to fit instead!”

    Me: “Perhaps. It’s really very, very old but I suppose you might find possibly another copy online.”

    Customer: “Okay! You go check and I’ll wait.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Can’t you look it up? Don’t you have a list of posters or something?”

    Me: “But you brought this poster in. It’s not one we sell in the store.”

    Customer: “But isn’t there a list?”

    Me: “There isn’t a comprehensive list of all posters ever made, no.”

    Customer: “But how will you order it for me?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t. We’re a frame shop and do not offer poster-ordering as a service. And to be honest, this is so old that it may take you a few weeks to track down another copy, if it even exists.”

    Customer: “Well, that doesn’t help me, now! Does it?!”

    Attempting To Mask Out Stupidity

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (Our store does basic restoration services.)

    Customer: “I have these photos of a masquerade ball.” *holds up photos with people with full masks on* “I need you to photoshop the masks off.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, sir, it is impossible for me to remove a mask of the person.”

    Customer: “But I need to know who they are!”

    Me: “If you have a different photo of the peoples faces, I can photoshop their face on, but it is impossible to remove a mask on a still photograph.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous. If CSI can do it why can’t you?”

    This Conversation Goes Round And Round

    | Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (A customer phones in and wants a quote on a very specific tire and size.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but [Brand] doesn’t make that winter tire in that size.”

    Caller: “When will you be getting them in?”

    Me: “They don’t make that tire in your size.”

    Caller: “If you order them in for me during the sale, can I still get sale price?”

    Me: “Sir, they DON’T make that tire in the size you need.”

    Caller: “Do you think I could get a rain check for them then?”

    Me: ‘Sir, we can’t issue you a rain check for a tire that they… don’t… make!”

    Caller: *Click*

    A Seriously Crumby Job

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m cleaning the tables when I hear a customer yelling.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! You just sprayed that poison on me!”

    Me: “Poison? Oh, I’m sorry. You’ll be okay though. It’s just sanitizer. It’s no worse than the type you’d put on your hands.”

    Customer: “You put that on all the tables?!”

    Me: “Well, yes. It’s to keep germs from building.”

    Customer: “What if a customer eats it?”

    Me: “That could only happen if they licked the table.”

    Customer: “It could happen. And stop knocking those crumbs to the floor! It’s making the floor dirty!”

    Me: “How else can I get the table clean? I will sweep up once I’m done with the table.”

    Customer: “Sweep the crumbs into your hand!”

    Me: “I need a raise…”

    Trying To Remember Without A Dismember

    | BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at the customer service desk of a member-owned co-op store.)

    Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Member: “This is [Name]. I need to phone [Local Celebrity] but I don’t have his phone number and he’s not on the phone book.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We can’t give out the phone numbers of our members.”

    Member: “But you don’t understand! This is very important! He is coming over for dinner, and I was planning to serve chicken, but now I’m thinking he may be a vegetarian! I have to ask him!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I still can’t give you his phone number.”

    Member: “But I’m a member! I own the store! You have to do what I say!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t just give other member’s information from their file.”

    Member: “Fine! Can you call him instead, ask him if he eats chicken, and then call me back?”

    Page 82/165First...8081828384...Last