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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    This Is How Democracy Dies

    | Farmington, UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Politics

    (I work in an election office. It’s the afternoon on Election Day, and we’ve been in a call center since 6 am, telling citizens where their designated polling place is and explaining how closed primaries work. The phone rings.)

    Me: “Hello, county elections, how may I help you?”

    Citizen: “I’ve been to three different polling places today, and they all say I’m in the wrong place!”

    Me: “Can I have your name? I’ll look up your polling place for you.”

    (The citizen gives their name.)

    Me: “It looks like your polling place is [Elementary School].”

    Citizen: “I’ve already been to three other places! How was I supposed to know that’s where my polling place was?”

    Me: “Well, we sent you a card a few weeks ago with your polling place on it. It should also be on the voter card that was mailed when you registered to vote at your address.”

    Citizen: “I have three kids! I don’t have time to read my mail!”

    Me: “In addition, we’ve listed all the polling places in the local paper for the last two weeks, and you could look up your polling place online at [website]. We’ve also had pamphlets at the local library. Or you could have called this number before you went to three different polling places.”

    Citizen: “That’s unacceptable! I want someone to come to my house on the morning of election day with a van and say, ‘Mrs. [Name], this is where you vote!’”

    Me: “Uh…”

    (And that’s how democracy dies.)

    Didn’t Bank On That Ending

    | Eugene, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s a particularly busy day in our bank, and I’m working the drive through window. I have a long line of cars waiting, when I hear a customer in line start shouting across the lobby at the other tellers in front.)

    Customer: “Look, I’m on my work break here! Can’t you go any faster?”

    Coworker: “We’re moving as fast as we can, ma’am. We’re a bit short-staffed today, but we’ll be with you as soon as possible.”

    Customer: “But I’m on my BREAK! I have to get back to work.”

    Coworker: *still running another customer’s transaction* “Yes, ma’am, I understand.”

    Customer: “Well, what about her? Can’t she help me? I’m in a hurry!”

    (I suddenly realize that she’s referring to me, while I’m in the middle of my fifth car in a row.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, she’s currently assisting customers in our drive through. If she becomes available, she will come to the front to help whoever she can.”

    Customer: “Well, I would have driven through myself if I knew it would take this long!”

    (I continue to help cars, and after finishing the last transaction, I go to the front to help. I get the shouting customer.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, this deposit slip is for [Competing Bank].”

    (The customer turns BRIGHT RED and rushes out so fast you’d think she just robbed the place.)

    The Register Light Is On But Nobody’s Home

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I live in a small town with only two grocery stores. I’m constantly complimented on my friendliness and professionalism. When it’s slow, we assist customers. Today a customer has asked me to return a cart, during which we’re told to put our closed sign up on our lane, but keep the light on. After assisting three more customers, I wander back to my till that has the closed sign up to find a woman unloading her cart at my till.)

    Me: “Oh! Hello, ma’am. Just for future reference, even if the light is on, but the closed sign is up, the till is not open. That way you won’t have to wait next time.”

    Customer: “THE LIGHT WAS ON! YOU’RE OPEN IF IT’S ON!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I do apologize, but the sign was clearly up. I’m just letting you know for next time so you won’t be delayed! I truly apolo—”

    Customer: “IF THE F****** LIGHT IS ON, YOU’RE GODDAMNED OPEN. SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND DO YOUR JOB!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I truly am sorry about that—”

    (At this point, the customer has finished slamming her purchases onto the counter and leans over the lane to be about two inches from my face. It should be noted I’m in my mid-twenties.)

    Customer: “I DID NOT COME HERE TO BE LECTURED BY SOME STUPID LITTLE CHILD!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I apologize. I wasn’t trying to lecture you—”

    Customer: “MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU CAN SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND DO YOUR JOB, YOU IDIOT!”

    (At this point I stay quiet throughout the rest of the transaction, process her card, and hand her the receipt to sign. I say nothing.)

    Customer: “Thank you!”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “I SAID THANK YOU!”

    (As she leaves, she pulls over my supervisor.)

    Customer: “I need to give a formal complaint about the horrible and disrespectful service this employee gave!”

    (The next customer going through the till behind me walks over.)

    Next Customer: “And I have to comment on how polite that employee was, despite you being so rude!”

    (Both customers got into a verbal altercation. Thank you to the random customer who stood up for me!)

    It’s No Trouble Causes You Trouble

    | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests

    (All week long, we’ve been giving away tickets to a concert on Saturday night. As our offices close at noon, I’ve been telling all the concert winners to be at the station before noon on Friday to pick up their tickets. I duck down to the station on Saturday morning to do some paperwork I’d fallen behind on, when the phone rings…)

    Caller: “Yeah, I just want to say you’re all a bunch of lying jerks! I won tickets to the concert tonight, and the stupid DJ said I had to come to the station AFTER noon on Friday to pick them up, and you were closed!”

    Me: “Are you sure, ma’am? I was the one giving away the tickets all week, and I was certain I told all the winners BEFORE noon on Friday.”

    Caller: “ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR? YOU SAID AFTER NOON ON FRIDAY! And I really wanted to go to this concert, too! You are the worst station ever for lying to your listeners like this!”

    Me: “Well, I have no doubt that some kind of miscommunication took place, and for that, I do apologize. But, you’re in luck. Because I’m here today putting in some overtime, you can come down to the station right now and pick up your tickets!”

    Caller: “Wait, what?”

    Me: “Yeah. The concert isn’t until tonight, and I’ve got nothing else to do today. I can gladly wait down here at the station for you to come get your tickets today.”

    Caller: “What? No… no… I live outside of town, and I didn’t want to come back into town today.”

    Me: “Oh, um, okay. I feel really bad about you not getting your tickets, so how about this: I’m just about done here. How about then if I hop in the company truck, and deliver the tickets to you?”

    Caller: “What? No! No. I live really far away, and I don’t want you to go through all that trouble.”

    Me: “As I said, ma’am, I’ve got nothing else to do today, and I’ve got a full tank of gas. Where do you live?”

    Caller: “No! Don’t go through all that trouble. I’m just disappointed because this was the first time I’d ever won anything.”

    Me: “Okay, then, how about this: on Monday morning, I’ll talk to my boss and see if we can arrange some kind of alternative prize. It won’t be time sensitive, like tickets, so you’ll be able to come down and pick it up whenever you like.”

    Caller: “No! Stop going through all this trouble for me!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m at a loss. I’m very sorry for the miscommunication that’s caused you to miss out on your concert. I’ve offered everything within my power to make it up to you, and you said no to everything. What can the station do to make this up to you?”

    Caller: “Well… I… um… bah! I wasn’t expecting anyone to actually be there working today! I just wanted to leave an angry voice mail complaining about the situation!”

    Me: “Would you like my boss’s voice mail so you can still make your complaint?”

    Caller: “Well, no! Not now. You’ve tried so hard to make it up to me, that it wouldn’t seem right.”

    Me: *sighs* “I’m transferring you to my boss’s voice mail.”

    (On Monday morning, after hearing the voice mail and listening to my tale, the boss actually reamed me out for being patient with her beyond human reason!)

    Heavy Lighter Reaction

    | Galveston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (Along the front of the register counter, we have boxes of novelty lighters for sale, the most popular of which are shaped like flip-flops. Everyone plays with them, ignoring the huge neon signs that state: ‘Please do NOT play with lighters!’ As a result, a number of them are empty and no longer work. A pair of teenage customers are waiting in line, while I ring up another customer.)

    Me: “Alright, your total is [total].”

    (As I hand the change to the customer, I notice one of the teenagers pick up a flip-flop lighter and start flicking it.)

    Me: “Please do NOT play with the lighters.”

    (The teenage customer huffs and drops it back into the box while muttering to her friend.)

    Customer: “Why not? I’m old enough!”

    Me: “It’s not a matter of age. If everyone ignores the signs and plays with the lighters, they become empty. And then no one will buy them.”

    (I ring up the teenager’s items, and give her the change.)

    Me: “Have a nice night!”

    Customer: “I’ll TRY. But I doubt I will because you were such a b****!”

    (The teenage customer then storms off, leaving all her stuff in the bag on the counter.)

    Me: “Don’t forget your bag!”

    Customer: “Ugh! This is why I hate shopping; everyone is like, so RUDE!”

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