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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Complaining To Have Nothing To Complain About

    | MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (At the restaurant all ‘extra’ items are served on the side, such as lemons for water or extra dressing, as well as a few of the sides. One of the customers has ordered a water with lemon, and this occurs after I set down her glass.)

    Customer: “I said I wanted water with lemon. Why are you incapable of doing anything right?”

    (I set out down the dish of lemons that was on my tray with the remaining drinks.)

    Customer: “Oh, usually people forget them.”

    Me: “Okay, well, are you ready to order?”

    Customer: “Yes, I will have [Food], with a side of ranch, ketchup, and [several other extra items]. And you better not forget anything, I am so tired of having to ask six times for everything.”

    Me: “I won’t forget anything.”

    Customer: “Yeah, right; you people always forget something.”

    Me: “Okay, I will do my best.”

    (Since it this is a larger table, when the food is finally ready it takes three servers to carry out the food. I set the customers food down first.)

    Customer: “Where is my ketchup, ranch, and [several other items]? I knew you would forget them. You are completely worthless!”

    Me: “I have them but they are on the next few trays.”

    (I gesture to the two servers behind me waiting with the rest of the order.)

    Customer: “No, it’s not. You’re just making excuses for your incompetence.”

    (The customer continues to yell at me the entire time I am passing out the food while watching me to be sure I don’t sneak back to get items that I forgot. After I am done I look at the customer.)

    Me: “Is there anything else you need?”

    (The customer looks at the food and starts to pout. Her husband, who has been silent this entire time, finally speaks, obviously somewhat annoyed.)

    Husband: “Well, I don’t think she forgot anything did she, honey? It looks like she brought everything you wanted.”

    Customer: “Well, yeah, but she only got everything so that she could make me look bad.”

    (The customer did not say another word the rest of the time the were there. Instead she just glared angrily at me!)

    Actions Are Totally Out Of Order

    | Wichita, KS, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (It is near the end of my shift and I am cleaning the bathrooms in my section. The only event currently going on is being held at the other end of the building; there are two other sets of bathrooms and several closed doors between the event and my area. Nonetheless, out of habit, I have put up the “CLOSED FOR CLEANING” sign in the doorway of the women’s bathroom. It’s a bright yellow sign, on a bright yellow safety bar, that is at chest level so that people can’t just walk underneath it. I have just finished cleaning the mirrors and sinks. As I turn away from the mirrors, a woman walks in.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but this bathroom is closed.”

    Woman: “What? Why?”

    Me: “Because I’m cleaning it.”

    Woman: “Well, you should have a sign up!”

    Me: “Uh, I do. Right across the doorway”

    Woman: “Well, that doesn’t apply to me! I have to go!”

    Me: “Are you with the group on the other side of the church?”

    Woman: “YES! Now let me use the bathroom!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you would have had to pass by two other bathrooms on the way down here. Those were much closer to your event.”

    Woman: “I wanted to use this one!”

    (My bathrooms aren’t that special; they’re the oldest bathrooms in the building. The ones by her event are much nicer and had been renovated only a year ago. One toilet in my bathroom is also out of order, while we wait for a back-ordered part to come in.)

    Me: “All right, fine.”

    (She tries to go into the stall with the big ‘OUT OF ORDER’ sign. The stall is locked AND taped shut, since people had been ignoring the sign most of the week and unlocking the stall. Thus far, the tape had deterred them.)

    Woman: “Why can’t I get in here?! I want in! I have to go!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that stall is out of order. The toilet doesn’t work. That’s why there’s a sign and the door is taped shut. There are seven other stalls that are just fine.”

    Woman: *huffing* “FINE!”

    (I go out to my cart to take inventory of what I need to restock before I leave, while I wait for her to finish. A few minutes later, she comes barreling out, knocking my sign out of the doorway.)

    Woman: “Your toilet is broken!” *storms off down the hall*

    (I rolled my eyes, put the sign back, and went to clean whichever toilet she used, figuring she had probably gotten the one with the finicky flusher. She hadn’t. What she had done was unlock the out of order stall and ripped the tape down… and then ripped down the out of order sign, tossed it in the toilet, and urinated and defecated on it. I had to call my shift supervisor down to turn the water back on to that toilet so I could clean it, which left me with a flooded floor from the huge leak that had necessitated closing that toilet in the first place.)

    Superbowled Them Over With Realisation

    | Sparta, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am working as a cook at a pizza place. it’s Superbowl Sunday, the phone has been ringing constantly, and we’re working non-stop. My manager asks me to answer the phone in back and take orders.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’d like an order for delivery.”

    (I take his order.)

    Me: “Okay, that comes to [total] and the delivery estimate comes to about three hours.”

    Customer: “THREE HOURS?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!”

    Me: “Sir, are you watching the Superbowl tonight?”

    Customer: “Well… yeah.”

    Me: “And I assume you have a small gathering at your house?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Would you safely assume you’re the only person in town doing this?”

    Customer: “…umm, no.”

    Me: “So if everyone else in town is doing the same as you, there is going to be a bit of a wait. Do you still want your order?”

    Customer: “Oh. Yeah, we can wait.”

    Benefitting From A College Education

    | UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m the customer here, looking at body jewelry in a popular alternative retail store. To be fair I have several facial piercings and my hair is pink. I’m right out of school so I still have my ID badge hanging out of my pocket.)

    Lady: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Whoops, sorry, hon.”

    (I move out of the way. She follows me and gets in my face.)

    Lady: “I said EXCUSE ME! I need something out of that case.”

    Me: “No, I don’t work—”

    Lady: “I DIDN’T ASK FOR ANY OF YOUR LIP. NOW GET THE F****** CASE OPEN AND STOP BEING RUDE!”

    Me: “I don’t work here! Find someone who does, or better yet, don’t, you nutcase.”

    (She grabs my ID out of my pocket and heads deeper into the store screaming for a manager. Of course I follow, now pretty upset myself.)

    Lady: “I want you to fire this god d*** b**** of an employee right now! I did not come in here to be disrespected by some brat who doesn’t know how to respect her elders!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, she does not work here.”

    (The lady waves my ID at him with a triumphant look.)

    Manager: “Okay, go ahead and give me her ID. Hmm, well, doesn’t look like I can fire her from being a college student, but I can try if it will make you feel better.”

    (The lady takes a closer look, turns bright red, and runs out of the store, almost knocking over a display in her rush.)

    Me: “Well, that was something.”

    Manager: “If it’s not women like her it’s twelve year olds trying to sneak into the back. You’re fired. How about I take your discount card and give you those last three punches?”

    (He gave me my ID back and let me pick out a free piece of jewelry with my purchase.)

    Fools Give Vent To Their Rage

    | Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

    (We have a full house of baseball teams, 14-16-year-old boys. At approximately 11 pm, a mother comes up to the front desk.)

    Mother: “Why is there pornography on channel 16? We obviously didn’t order anything!”

    (We don’t have the option to order movies or pornography, so we look up what channel this was and find out it’s our [Cable Channel] channel playing a movie called ‘Erotic Engagement.’)

    Me: “Ma’am, that is our premium channel [Cable Channel], which is commonly known for playing adult themed movies this late at night. Our suggestion would be to keep an eye on your team as to not be watching [Cable Channel] this late at night.”

    Mother: “That is not [Cable Channel]. That is graphic pornography. You either refund my stay or we will check out right now.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I understand your frustration, but again, we do not have pornographic channels—”

    Mother: “You obviously don’t know what you are talking about and now my child is scarred for life. I hope you are happy and I hope God strikes you down for your disregard for protecting us from that filth!”

    Me: “Proverbs 29:11, if you want to get biblical. Have a nice night, ma’am.”

    (The scripture states: ‘Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.’)

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