October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Two Copyrights Still Make It Wrong

| Absecon, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

(If a photo is professionally taken, the photographer legally owns the picture, and we need a release form from them to make a copy of it. It doesn’t matter if it is a picture of you, your child, whatever; they still own that picture. A woman came in to try to make copies of a school photo of her granddaughter.)

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s a professional photo. We legally can’t make copies of it.”

Customer: “Why not? It’s my granddaughter!”

Me: “Yes, but the photographer owns the rights to it. You’d have to get a release form from them for us to make a copy.”

Customer: “Fine. What about this one?”

(The customers hands me the exact same picture, except it is in black and white, not color.)

Me: “…No, still can’t. It’s still a professional photo. It doesn’t matter if it’s not color.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine.”

Damaged Beyond My Despair

| IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(A library patron returns a DVD with the case so scraped and bent that it can’t be put through the unlocking machine.)

Librarian: “And there’s a $6.75 fine on your card.”

Patron: “What? Why?”

Librarian: “Your DVD case was damaged and will have to be replaced.”

Patron: “You people didn’t unlock it before we left. I gave it to my son, and he tried his best to get it loose. He only used a butter knife.”

Librarian: “I’m sorry we didn’t unlock it. When that happens, you need to bring it back to us, not try to pry it open.”

Patron: “We didn’t even get to watch it, so I don’t see why we should have to pay for it.”

Librarian: “The case is so badly damaged that it’s no longer usable.”

Patron: “How is that damage? It was only a butter knife!”

She Can’t Get With The Program(mers)

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am browsing in a large, well known office supply store, in the computer section.)

Customer: “Do you like computers?”

Me: “Yeah. I actually want to start learning [Programming Language]. I like—”

Customer: “Oh, so you’re a coder?”

Me: “Not really—”

Customer: “Cool. I was looking for someone to code me a website!”

Me: “I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because, A: The most complex thing I know is Scratch, and B: Even if I did know [Programming Language], it’s used for apps. So I can’t help you.”

Customer: “Can’t you just do it in, I dunno, 2-math?”

Me: “You mean base 2? Like, Binary Code?”

Customer: “NO! 2-MATH!”

Me: “Um, no. I can’t code a website for you in bi- um, ‘2-math.'”

Customer: “I’ll pay you twenty dollars…”

(She continues to follow me around the store, asking me to do various tasks for her. Keep in mind, I AM NOT A PROGRAMMER. And that wasn’t all; she wanted graphic design, too.)

Employee: “Oh great.”

Me: *still with the customer behind me* “What?”

Employee: “Her again?”

(He proceeded to kick the annoying customer out.)

Employee: “I have no idea why she thinks everyone in the computer section can design a website for her. Really, who looks for a programmer in [Store]?”

Brain Not Listed

| San Diego, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I run tech support for our web hosting system. When a user submits a ticket, the form asks which site they are referring to.)

Customer: “I am looking to gain admin rights. Please send me an update and a possible timeline of when it will be confirmed.”

Me: *checking form to see “Site Not Listed” for the site name* “Thank you for the information, but I need to know the site you are referring to before I can confirm with the authorities that you are to be the new admin.”

Customer: “I need admin rights for our account. The previous admin is no longer here.”

Me: “Again, I need to know which site you are referring to. What is the name of the site as it appears on our system? You indicated “Site Not Listed” on the form and your message does not state which site you are referring to. I need to know the name of the site in order to assist.”

Customer: “Why is this so hard? I just need admin rights!”

Me: “…”

‘Entitled’ Doesn’t Even Begin To Cover It

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(We are currently having a clearance sale. Kids’ clearance items are an extra 20% off. It either comes up when I ring up the item or there is a sticker on the tag that is the final price that already has the 20% taken off.)

Customer: “Don’t I get an extra 20% off of these items?”

(I ask my manager and she says that it’ll come up when I ring it up or the price on the tag is the final price. I tell that to the customer.)

Customer: “But I should get an extra 20% off.”

(Most of these items are already extremely cheap, as in $2.00 and under. My manager comes over to my register and explains to the customer what she already told me.)

Customer: “I don’t think you understand what I’m saying. These things should be an extra 20% off.”

(My manager apologizes again and says there’s nothing she can do. Customer continues to get angry and argue with my manager.)

Customer: “I’m a silver level cardholder! I’m entitled!”

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