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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    This Caller’s Not Too Bright

    | Charlottetown, PEI, Canada | Crazy Requests, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company] Tech Support. My name is [name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “The technician needs to come.”

    Me: “Sorry about the issue you are having, what seems to be happening?”

    Caller: ”It’s too bright!”

    Me: “What seems to be too bright?”

    Caller: ”The light!”

    Me: “What light are you talking about?”

    Caller: ”The light on the box!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what box are you referring to?”

    Caller: ”Internet light!”

    Me: “Is this the light to your modem or your computer?”

    Caller: ”The light is too bright and I can’t sleep at night. I need the tech to come out and not make it bright!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Have you tried turning the modem around to face a wall or put something over the lights?”

    Caller: ”No, do you think that would work?”

    Me: “Possibly.”

    Caller: ”Well, I still want my other box back! It wasn’t bright!”

    Me: “…”

    Car Free And Care-Free

    | Norway | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Top

    (I’m female and work at a smaller car rental business. I’ve had my fair share of bizarre customers, but this one takes the cake.)

    Caller: “Hello! I would like to rent a car!”

    Me: “Of course! We have many different cars. Got any idea of what size you need?”

    Caller: “No, just the smallest and cheapest car you have, for one day only.”

    Me: “Okay, then. The price is [price]. Remember to bring a credit card and a driver’s license when you come to pick it up.”

    Caller: “My own?”

    Me: “Um yes. Your own credit card and driver’s license.”

    Caller: “But I don’t have a license!”

    Me: “Well, if you lost it, you can swing by the nearest police station. They can print out a valid replacement.”

    Caller: “But I don’t have one!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t help you then. You need a license to drive a car in Norway.”

    Caller: “IT’S JUST A RENTAL CAR!”

    Me: “Yes, but it’s still a car, and you drive it on roads. Therefore, you need training and a license.”

    Caller: “Are you making fun of me?! Are you stupid?! I want to talk to a man!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there are no men working here. There are just two girls here at work.”

    Caller: “This is an outrage! I know the law, and a rental car is not a real car! It’s like a bumper car! You know, like the ones in a theme park! You don’t need a license for that!”

    Me: “Um, what?!”

    Caller: “Yeah! I bet you didn’t know that! It’s okay, you’re a girl. I don’t expect girls to know things like that. I just need a car I can have some fun with. You know, drive around in circles and such.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry, sir. But may I suggest [theme park]? They have bumper cars. You can even crash them into things.”

    Caller: “Seriously?”

    Me: “Yup. It’s way cheaper than renting a car.”

    Caller: “Thank you! I just love driving in circles!” *hangs up*

    Distresses Over Mistresses

    | Iowa, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I am 21 and work at a sporting goods store. We have two stores, and the company is family owned; the owner has an office just upstairs. He’s wealthy, in his forties and happily married with three kids. I’m helping a customer with a special order.)

    Me: “Okay, that should do it! It usually takes about two weeks for a special order to be delivered. I’ll give you a call when they come in.”

    Customer: “You’re pretty.”

    Me: “Thank you. Was there anything else I could help you with?”

    Customer: “You should marry [company owner]. He’s rich.”

    Me: “Um. Well. He’s too old for me, I think. And he’s already got a wife.”

    Customer: “Yeah, well, you’re younger than her.”

    Me: “Um, I don’t think he wants a younger wife. I think he’s happy with the one he has.”

    Customer: “Come now. All girls want a rich husband. Don’t you want a rich husband?”

    Me: “I’ve got career plans of my own, actually. This job is just putting me through college. I think I’ll manage.”

    Customer: “Some people have no ambition!” *walks away*

    Guess Who’s Flapping To Dinner

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “This may sound odd, but we’re looking for a light with a finish that’s resistant to…um…bird poop.”

    Me: “I’m guessing you have a pet? Well, no finish is going to stand up completely to that kind of thing, but we can look at a few things. What kind of light are you looking for?”

    Customer: “It’s for over our kitchen table.”

    (I proceed to find them some lights. Later on as I’m helping them out to their car…)

    Me: “Oh, I never did ask the name of your bird!”

    Customer: “Well, we have about 70 of them. Bye!” *drives off*

    Coworker: “Remind me not to accept any of their dinner invitations.”

    There’s No Amounting For Taste

    | Texas, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work in an ice cream shop. Our chocolate shakes are made with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce, rather than chocolate ice cream.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Can I get a large chocolate shake?”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Make sure it’s not too heavy on the chocolate!”

    (I make the shake, using about half the usual amount of chocolate sauce, and hand it to the woman.)

    Customer: *doesn’t even taste the shake* “No, no, this is way too much chocolate! I needed EASY chocolate.”

    (I remake the shake, using only about a quarter of the usual amount. Again, I hand it to the customer, who glances at it without tasting it.)

    Customer: *condescendingly* “Are you even listening to me? I’m a diabetic. I can not have too much sugar! Is that really too much to ask?”

    (I make the shake a third time, this time adding no chocolate sauce whatsoever. I hand her the shake.)

    Customer: *tastes her chocolateless chocolate shake* “THERE, that’s perfect. Was that really so hard?!”


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