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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    To Their Credit, Cashiers Are Not Psychic

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I’m working at one of the express lanes in a big-box retailer. A woman and her husband approach with a full cart but since it is a slow night, I agree to take them. I scan everything they have, and the couple is overly chipper and pleasant until it comes time to pay.)

    Me: “Alright, you’re all set! It’ll be [price].”

    (The customer holds out her card.)

    Me: “Oh! Sorry, go ahead and swipe your card right here.”

    (I tap the credit card machine.)

    Customer: “Sheesh! Sorry! It’s been a long day! It’s going to be credit.”

    (The customer slides the card through.)

    Me: “Alright, then just hit cancel, and select credit.”

    (I hit the credit key on my side when she agrees to the amount and selects credit. She signs and then hits ‘OK.’ The receipt prints and I hand it to her.)

    Me: “Here you go! Have a nice night!”

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “Your receipt?”
    Customer: “Why are you giving me the receipt?! I wanted to pay a different way too!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, if you had informed me prior to sliding your card I could have processed it but—”

    (The customer slams her hands on the counter.)

    Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place!? Now I’m overdrawn!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I really am. I understand the problem but there’s nothing I can do. If I had known before hand I would have told you but you didn’t tell me you wanted to pay using more than one method.”

    Customer: “You should have known!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you can take your receipt to customer service and they can reverse the charge. I don’t know if it will help but the money will go back in a few days.”

    Customer: “This is stupid! You people need to anticipate our needs!”

    (The customer grabs the receipt and storms off towards customer services. Her husband just rolls his eyes at her and trails along with the cart. She demands that we pay her overdraft fees, throws a huge fit, and has to be dragged out by her husband!)

    Interested In Another Kind Of Bun

    , | Vernon, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Chain]. My name is [Name]. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hey, [My Name], I’d like a large double-double.”

    Me: “Anything else for you?”

    Customer: “Yo, do you have any hookers?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You know, hookers.”

    Me: “Yeah, no. We don’t carry those here, sorry.”

    Customer: “Aw, man! Well, whatever, I guess we’ll try [rival fast food chain right next to ours].”

    Me: “Sounds like a good plan.”

    (I almost got in trouble for saying ‘no’ to a customer and referring them to our rival, until my boss learned what they had been asking for!)

    A Perfectly Natural Request

    | Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (I’m an off duty, live-in receptionist who has been called back to work because of a guest complaint that no one seems to know how to deal with. I phone up to the guest’s room.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, I understand you have a complaint about your room. What seems to be the problem?”

    Guest: “Yes, it’s raining too loudly outside, and I can’t fall asleep!”

    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble, Part 3

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for a gourmet chocolate shop, and the majority of our products are imported from several factories in Europe.)

    Customer: “Do you have chocolate turkeys for Thanksgiving?”

    Me: “No, Ma’am, we do not.”

    Customer: “Why the f*** not?!”

    Me: “Well, we’re a Swiss company, and they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.”

    Customer: “You’re a f***ing liar. Like h*** they don’t celebrate it. It’s a national holiday!”

    Me: “Yes, it is. It’s a national holiday, Ma’am. It’s only celebrated here, in the US. You can try [other European brand], though. I’m pretty sure I saw chocolate turkeys in their window display.”

    Customer: “Trying to make me look stupid, huh? Well fine, I’m never shopping here again! And everyone knows that turkeys are extinct in Europe, so why would [other European brand] have chocolate f****** turkeys?!”

    Me: “…and you have a lovely day, Ma’am.”

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysLearning
    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble, Part 2
    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble

    Nine-Dumb-Dumb

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am the after-hours emergency line representative for a property management company. We essentially handle things that are association responsibility and will cost the association money, not the homeowner.)

    Homeowner: “I think someone is breaking into my house!”

    Me: “Did you call the police?”

    Homeowner: “No, why would I do that?”

    Me: “Because we don’t offer security service. We only dispatch people out for things like plumbing emergencies, or broken sprinklers.”

    Homeowner: “What do I do?”

    Me: “Call 911.”

    Homeowner: “Can you do it for me?”

    Me: “Ma’am, 911 tracks the location of the caller. If you feel threatened, you need to call 911 right now.”

    Homeowner: “God-d***-it, what the h*** do I pay monthly dues for?” *hangs up*

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