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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 6

    | Canada | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

    Guest: “Excuse me?”

    Ride Operator: “Yes, sir?”

    Guest: “Where’s the VIP line of this ride?”

    Ride Operator: *confused* “VIP line for what, sir?”

    Guest: “For us, the Americans. Where’s the VIP line for the Americans?”

    Ride Operator: “We don’t have a VIP line sir for Americans… or anyone.”

    Guest: *huffs* “Well, you should!”

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
    Canada: America’s Hat

    And You Wonder Why We Have Canned Responses

    | Hazleton, PA, USA | Crazy Requests

    Customer: “Hey, you! Where is your canned corn?”

    (Note that customer has just walked into my aisle from another aisle where all the canned vegetables are.)

    Me: “All canned vegetables are in aisle 4. Did you happen to look there on your way here?”

    Customer: “Are you an idiot? That’s your job to look, not mine. And you didn’t even look for them. How do you know they are where you say?”

    Me: “I assure you, I’ve worked here for quite some time and that is where they are located. If you would go back down to aisle 4 and look on the left hand side, about a quarter the way down you will find the corn.”

    Customer: “NO! You will go and look for me. Where do they find you people? It’s YOUR job to go look and not MINE. That’s what you losers are hired for.”

    Me: “Yes, I’ll be right back.”

    (I walk out of my aisle, go to the aisle with the canned vegetables to double check, and return to the customer.)

    Customer: “Well?”

    Me: “As I stated, they are in aisle 4.”

    Customer: “But now you KNOW they are there because you LOOKED!”

    Me: *trying to maintain composure* “Have a nice day.”

    Customer: “F*** you, retard!”

    Two’s Company, Flees A Crowd

    | Arizona, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I’m working at a big-box retailer in a college town. It’s a week or so before school is about to get back in, so it’s naturally very busy.)

    Customer: “It’s too crowded here.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “It’s too crowded. Can’t you get some of these people to leave? I can’t get any shopping done!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t control the number of people in the store. Besides, we like it busy.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** would you LIKE it this busy?”

    Me: “We’re trying to run a business, ma’am.”

    (At this point, my manager walks up.)

    Manager: “You know, if you left, it would be that much less crowded.”

    Customer: *storms off in a huff*

    The Caste-mer Is Always Right

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (At our bookstore, we don’t employ cleaners; everyone pitches in, including the manager. At the end of one day, I am mopping the floor. There is still one customer browsing around after making purchases.)

    Customer: “Hey, weren’t you my cashier?”

    Me: “Yes, I was.”

    Customer: “Then why are you cleaning? Where are your cleaners?”

    Me: “No cleaners here; everyone pitches in.”

    Customer: “Why? Only the lowest of people should be cleaning. You’re better than that.”

    Me: “The manager does the cleaning, too.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! He’s the manager. No manager in their right mind would clean! I would never clean if I was a manager.”

    Me: “Well, ours does. Do you have a problem with that?”

    Customer: “Yes! I’m not coming back here again!” *storms out*

    Price Check Yo Self

    | Oxford, ME, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (A man comes up to my register with a cart FULL of different brands and sizes of beer.)

    Customer #1: “Can you tell me the price for each one of these? I’m not sure which ones I want.”

    (Because of how many types of beer he has, I know this will take a long time and will hold up the line, so I try another approach.)

    Me: “The price for each one should have been listed on the shelf in front of them.”

    Customer #1: “Well, they weren’t!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (The customer hands me them. I scan each one and tell him the price. As I expected, an unhappy line of customers has formed behind him due to how long it’s taking.)

    Me: “Which ones do you want?”

    Customer #1: *counts out a handful of change* “Hmm… do you have any for less than $1.17?”

    Me: “Uh, no. The 6-packs are the cheapest, and they’re all around $5 at least.”

    (The other customers waiting in line are fed up, and one finally speaks up.)

    Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “Wait a second! Let me get this straight! You had her check the price of all of that beer, making us all wait, and you have less than $2?!”

    Customer #1: “Well, not that it’s any of your business but… yes! It’s her job, after all!”

    Customer #2: “Why didn’t you stop her after the 6-packs? Those are obviously going to be cheaper than the larger packs!”

    Customer #1: “Not necessarily!”

    Customer #3: “Will you just get out of the way?”

    Other Customers: *yelling in agreement*

    (Customer #1 walks off. The rest of the customers in line help me load all the beer back into the cart and then return to the line.)

    Me: “I’m sorry that took so long everyone!”

    Customer #2: “Not your fault! You were just trying to provide good customer service! You didn’t know he was a moron!”


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