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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Not Really Framing A Good Argument

    | Mankato, MN USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in arts and craft store’s frame shop, which is located in a very small strip mall.)

    Customer: “I really need something framed today. It’s urgent.”

    Me: “Sure! We can do an express framing by picking out a ready-made frame on the floor and cutting a custom mat.”

    Customer: “But I really want that frame.”

    (He points to a corner sample on our wall display. We have over 400 samples.)

    Me: “Well, that is a custom frame molding and we can order that for you, but it will take two weeks to complete.”

    Customer: “No, I really need it today. That’s the one I want. Can you get it done by 6 pm?”

    (As he says this, he can see my entire work room over my shoulder, which is obviously too small to hold any lumber, much less enough for 400+ frames.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t make any of these frames in-house. If you really want that frame I will have to order it from our central warehouse, who will cut and join it before sending it to my shop. If you are in a hurry, there are two frames we sell on our sales floor that I think would be very similar to the custom frame sample you like. They would look great!”

    Customer: “But you’re a frame shop! Why don’t you make the frames here?”

    Me: “Sir, if you look behind me, you’ll see my entire frame shop. We don’t have the room to store all of the frame materials so we use a warehouse.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! You should make them here!”

    Me: “Sir, we offer over 400 different frames. If we kept enough lumber in stock to fulfill the frame-size request of each frame-type for each customer, we would need a building the size of [local national chain hardware store].”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Take A Trip Down Memory Fast Lane

    | Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (A caller is on the phone:)

    Caller: “My car was in for an inspection just over a year ago. Do you remember what repairs it needed?”

    Me: “Hmm, that’s close to 10,000 work orders ago. That would be a ‘no.’”

    Customer: “I think it was around $700. What could that be?”

    Me: “Time for another inspection?”

    The Poster Child For Unreasonableness

    | Mankato, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer has a very, very old and tattered poster. Since she doesn’t want all of the poster framed, we talk about having it cut down in size. I always advise that customers research the value of their artwork before cutting.)

    Customer: “It could be worth a lot of money.”

    Me: “That’s true. We can save this order as an estimate until you can look it up and see what the value is before you cut it.”

    Customer: “How do you do that?”

    Me: “Since there isn’t a title, I would suggest you look it up on the internet by the band and the date on the poster.”

    Customer: “Oh! I know!! I could order a copy and cut that to fit instead!”

    Me: “Perhaps. It’s really very, very old but I suppose you might find possibly another copy online.”

    Customer: “Okay! You go check and I’ll wait.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Can’t you look it up? Don’t you have a list of posters or something?”

    Me: “But you brought this poster in. It’s not one we sell in the store.”

    Customer: “But isn’t there a list?”

    Me: “There isn’t a comprehensive list of all posters ever made, no.”

    Customer: “But how will you order it for me?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t. We’re a frame shop and do not offer poster-ordering as a service. And to be honest, this is so old that it may take you a few weeks to track down another copy, if it even exists.”

    Customer: “Well, that doesn’t help me, now! Does it?!”

    Attempting To Mask Out Stupidity

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (Our store does basic restoration services.)

    Customer: “I have these photos of a masquerade ball.” *holds up photos with people with full masks on* “I need you to photoshop the masks off.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, sir, it is impossible for me to remove a mask of the person.”

    Customer: “But I need to know who they are!”

    Me: “If you have a different photo of the peoples faces, I can photoshop their face on, but it is impossible to remove a mask on a still photograph.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous. If CSI can do it why can’t you?”

    This Conversation Goes Round And Round

    | Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (A customer phones in and wants a quote on a very specific tire and size.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but [Brand] doesn’t make that winter tire in that size.”

    Caller: “When will you be getting them in?”

    Me: “They don’t make that tire in your size.”

    Caller: “If you order them in for me during the sale, can I still get sale price?”

    Me: “Sir, they DON’T make that tire in the size you need.”

    Caller: “Do you think I could get a rain check for them then?”

    Me: ‘Sir, we can’t issue you a rain check for a tire that they… don’t… make!”

    Caller: *Click*

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