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  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Making The Feathers Fly

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I am a chef. The server is fairly new. This is one of her first solo shifts. This couple comes in at the very end of lunch. They are the only customers in the building.)

    Male Customer: “Are the chickens fresh?”

    Server: “Yup. We pull the feathers in the back.”

    Male Customer: “Okay. I’ll take the chicken sandwich and some feathers.”

    Female Customer: “I’ll have the cheeseburger.”

    (The server enters their order in the computer. She then grabs their drinks and drops them off at the table.)

    Male Customer: “Where are the feathers?”

    Server: “I just rang them in.” *laughs*

    (I cook the food and call out for the server. She picks up the order and brings it out to the table.)

    Male Customer: “Where are my f****** feathers? If you don’t bring me my f****** feathers I am going to punch you in the face.”

    Server: “I’ll be right back.”

    (She goes and gets the manager who goes up to the table.)

    Manager: “Is there a problem?”

    Male Customer: “I want my feathers. She said you had chicken feathers. She said you had them. If she doesn’t bring them out I am going to punch her.”

    Manager: “You need to leave. Now.”

    (As strange as this whole situation was, looking back on it now the thing I found the weirdest wasn’t the chicken feather guy. It was his girlfriend that didn’t say a thing through the entire ‘WTF’ conversation the guy had with the server and the manager.)

    Used And Useless

    | MT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

    (A customer is coming through my line with a series of energy drinks and several bags of chips. He is also holding a game with a receipt. I figure that he bought it in our game department.)

    Me: “Oh, [Game]! I have been waiting for that to go on sale. It looks like a good game.”

    Customer: “It’s okay. I finished the game in like a day though.”

    (I’m puzzled by this, as he is holding the game.)

    Me: “Really? Huh.”

    Customer: “Yeah. I just tried to return it. It was too short. I can’t believe you guys didn’t take it back.”

    Me: “So you bought a game and tried to return it because you finished it?”

    Customer: “I was really dissatisfied after I finished it. Do you know where I can take it to return it? Or do I have to file a complaint or something?”

    Me: “Well, it’s now a used game… so, [Used Game Store]?”

    Customer: “They’ll only give me used game price.”

    (We stand there for 10 minutes while he tries to grasp the concept of returns. He leaves in a huff. After, my boss comes over.)

    Boss: “Did that just happen?”

    Me: “Doesn’t it always?”

    Knowledge On Fizzy Is Fuzzy, Part 2

    , | Williamston, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Technology

    (I’m a manager at a fast food restaurant. It’s a little past six am, and we have just opened, when the phone rings.)

    Me: “This is [Store]. How may I help you?”

    (The caller sounds like a teenage girl.)

    Caller: “Hi! Um… so… I was wondering… Do you have any pop without fizz?”

    Me: “Well, we have Orange HiC, Frutopia, and Powerade. Those are all of the fountain drinks that don’t have fizz.”

    Caller: “But don’t you have any POP without fizz?”

    Me: “No ma’am, I’m sorry. We don’t.”

    Caller: “Well, couldn’t you just… take the fizz out?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. I don’t really have a way of doing that. It comes out of the fountain that way.”

    Caller: “But, aren’t the syrup and the fizz separate? Couldn’t you make it come out without the fizz?”

    Me: “I don’t believe so.”

    Caller: “Well, couldn’t you try?”

    Me: “I don’t think so. I’d be messing with a lot of equipment that I’m not really qualified to operate, and I wouldn’t want to break anything.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well, that’s very disappointing.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Caller: “Yes! Can I get a burger?”

    Me: “Yes, if you come into the store and order one.”

    Caller: “Oh. I could come in right now and get one? It isn’t breakfast or something?”

    Me: “Well, yes, we do serve breakfast until 11 am. I just meant that I can’t take your order or give you food over the phone; if you want to order food, you’d need to come up to the store and order it in person.”

    Caller: “But you’re on breakfast until 11 am?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well… thanks… I guess…”

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Caller: “No, I guess not.”

    Me: “All right! Thank you for calling. Have a great day!”

    Caller: “Bye!”

    Me: *bursts out laughing*

    Coworker: “What the heck was that about?”

    Me: “Either that was one of the most entertaining prank calls I’ve ever gotten, or… Well, I don’t want to think about it if she was actually serious!”

    Knowledge On Fizzy Is Fuzzy

    A Lost Lost Cause

    | IN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work at a supermarket service desk. I have just clocked in when a customer comes up and I greet her and ask what I could do for her, per usual.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’ve lost my sunglasses. Has anyone turned them in?”

    Me: “Let me check for you, ma’am. What do they look like?”

    Customer: *irrationally irate and screams* “SUNGLASSES!”

    Me: “Yes, but what do they look like? Like, the color of the frames, or if they’re name brand?”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t know! You don’t know if they’re back there? They’re like a tortoise-shell color, like the brown and black design!”

    Me: “Okay. Let me check for you.”

    (I check my drawer below my register and only see some reading glasses and a pair of children’s sunglasses.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but they don’t seem to be here.”

    Customer: “Well, I left them in the restroom and they’re not THERE!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. They’re not here at the moment, but if you’d like I can take your name and num—”

    Customer: “So you KNOW they’re not back there?”

    Me: “Yes. There are no sunglasses that fit your description back here, but if you’d—”

    Customer: “So. YOU KNOW!? You have that authority? Who are you? Who are you?! What’s your name?”

    Me: “I am [My Name], but yes, I’ve looked in any area your glasses may be and they’re not here.”

    Customer: “And you KNOW this?”

    Me: “Yes. If you’d like I can take your information down and we can call you if they are turned in. Sometimes items aren’t turned in until someone has finished shopping and—”

    Customer: “I know that! Do I seem stupid?”

    (She then walked off without giving me her information.)

    In The Place Of No Return

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Top

    (An older person walks into the store with their gaming laptop.)

    Employee: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I have a virus on my computer. I had antivirus software, so I want to return it.”

    Employee: “Did you update your antivirus software?”

    Customer: “I shouldn’t have to. They should include every virus!”

    Employee: “New viruses come out every day. Can I see your receipt?”

    Customer: *hands over receipt*

    Employee: “This is from [Competitor].”

    Customer: “So? You sell computers. You should take it back. And you have pay me $100 for every hour I spend downloading my games again. I have DIALUP!”

    Employee: “You will need to return this to [Competitor].”

    Customer: “They said no.”

    Employee: “Would you like a new computer?”

    Customer: “I’d like to speak to your manager.”

    Employee: “I’m the manager.”

    Customer: “You have horrible customer service.”

    Employee: “That’s because I reserve it for CUSTOMERS.”

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