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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Giving The Homeless A Fair Deal

    | BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a popular sandwich shop on the main strip of our town. Every once in a while, we run certain deals.)

    Me: “Hey there! What can I make for you this evening?”

    Customer: “I want a foot-long ham. That’s part of the deal, right?”

    Me: “No, just [sub #1], [sub #2], and [sub #3].”

    Customer: “Okay. I’ll get a meatball.”

    Me: “That’s not one of the deals.”

    Customer: “It’s fine, whatever.”

    (I should note that our town has quite a few homeless people. Most of them are quite friendly and always come in and buy things. One of the nicer ones is drinking a coffee at the front of the store. I finish making the sandwich and ring the guy in.)

    Me: “So that’ll be [price].”

    Customer: “WHAT!? I don’t want it if it’s not part of the deal! You told me it was part of the deal!”

    Me: “I told you explicitly that it was not part of the deal.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t even want it!”

    (The customer drops the sandwich on the counter, and I turn to the regular homeless man.)

    Me: “Hey [Name], you want a free meatball sub?”

    Homeless Regular: “Heck yeah!”

    (The customer grumbles about wanting free food, and scurries off.)

    Skating Past Bigotry Into Racism

    | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a skateboard shop. I’m female and have been working on skateboards from the age of 15. A teenage black male customer approaches my coworker and me. My coworker is also black.)

    Customer: “Yo, can you get out here and put fresh tape on my board?”

    Me: “Oh I’ll be happy to do that for you! Did you want a design or logo cut out? I just did this one; it looks pretty good.”

    Customer: “I ain’t having a girl touch my board. I want somebody who knows what they’re actually doing, not a woman!”

    Coworker: “Actually, she’s probably the quickest and neatest taper here, and watch your attitude.”

    Customer: “Nah man, I’m not having some b**** wreck my board!”

    Coworker: “Right, that’s it. Get out of my shop.”

    Customer: “What?! No way. You can’t kick me out because I’m black.”

    Coworker: *gestures to self* “It’s hardly because you’re black, is it? It’s because you’re insulting staff. Get out.”

    Customer: “That’s discrimination! I’m going to sue you!”

    (The customer leaves, ranting all the way out the door about how girls shouldn’t work in skate shops and he’s going to sue us for discriminating on race.)

    Coworker: “Yeah, good luck with that, mate.”

    The Replacement Has Big Shoes To Fill

    | USA | Crazy Requests

    (There used to be a shoe repairman in our store, but he retired over two years ago. People still come in looking for him, but usually understand that he is 90 years old, and didn’t want to continue working.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, where’s the shoe repair guy?”

    Me: “Oh, he retired.”

    Customer: “What? Why?”

    Me: “He was elderly and wanted to spend more time with his family.”

    Customer: “So, nobody took over? That’s stupid!”

    Me: “Well, it was his business. He just rented the space in our store.”

    Customer: “Well, this is very inconvenient for me. I need these shoes fixed. Where is there another cobbler?”

    Me: “I think there’s one in the town center.”

    Customer: “Oh, well that’s way too far to drive!”

    Me: “It’s five minutes away.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! This is ridiculous! I need to get my shoes fixed. You guys should have kept the shoe repairman on.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we couldn’t exactly hold him prisoner here.”

    Customer: “Well, you could have tried!”

    Just Till-ing It Like It Is

    | East Sussex, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (A customer comes in at about 2 pm; he is the only customer in the store.)

    Customer: “Why is there only one person by your tills?”

    Coworker: “Because it’s a quiet period. My manager and my other colleague are currently restocking the shelves.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Somebody should be on every till!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, with respect, you’re the only person in the store. Why would we need all three tills to be manned?”

    Customer: “I should have the right to choose who I get served by.”

    Coworker: “Well, I could buzz for my colleagues if you like?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to have to wait. I’m busy. I’m in a rush.”

    Coworker: “Well, either I can buzz for my colleagues or I can serve you and you can get on with your day. Which would you prefer?”

    Customer: “NEITHER! I WANT TO CHOOSE MY TILL!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, those are my only two options. My colleagues aren’t at the till. If you want a choice, I can buzz them and they’ll get here within twenty seconds, or I can serve you and you can be out of the store and getting on with your day within twenty seconds. The choice is utterly yours.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe your service is so poor. You know what? I don’t even want this!”

    (The customer puts down a bottled drink.)

    Customer: “I will just have a drink when I get home.”

    (By now, my manager and I have heard the commotion. We come over after the customer leaves.)

    Manager: “What just happened?”

    Coworker: “I… I’m not sure.”

    Phoned In Bad Customers

    | Pensacola, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Technology

    (My phone is old and has stopped working, so I’ve taken it in to get it replaced. The clerk and I have had to switch registers twice now because of a malfunction. I find it amusing and he keeps thanking me for being patient.)

    Clerk: “I’m sorry about how long this is taking.”

    Me: “It’s no problem. I work with computers every day. I know how finicky they can be.”

    Clerk: “You would be surprised at how mean people can get.”

    (I am about to tell him I know because I worked retail to get through college. As if on cue, a customer storms into the store and begins yelling.)

    Customer: “Where are your mice?! [Other Store] sent me over here because all they have are Chinese mice, and I want a good mouse!”

    Assistant Manager: “Sir, this is [cell store]. We don’t sell mice.”

    Customer: “The b**** at [Other Store] said this store had them! Where is [Office Supply Store]?!”

    Assistant Manager: “I don’t know, sir. I’m only a temporary employee here. I don’t live in this area. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “D*** right you are!”

    (I am fed up, and attempt to keep this customer from berating the employees more.)

    Me: “The [Office Supply Store] is just down this road next to another [Cellphone Store].”

    (I proceed to give the customer directions, and he leaves in a huff without a thank you. Another customer chimes in shortly after he leaves.)

    Customer #2: “Now everyone, turn to the person next to you and thank the good Lord that they aren’t like that man.”

    (The store erupts in laughter. The clerk goes back over my account and found a bunch of discounts for me!)

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