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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Radio Killed The Electronic Store

    | BC, Canada | Crazy Requests

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you could help me with installing my car stereo?”

    Me: “Of course! If you like I can book you a time with my installer and we can get you in! When would be a good time for you?”

    Customer: “Actually, I don’t want to spend any money on it. I just want a step by step instruction guide on how to do it without paying anyone.”

    Me: “Oh, well unfortunately I don’t think we have anything to that effect, but our installer would definitely be able to have a look at it if you are having issues.”

    Customer: “What kind of customer service is that? I want it done for free!”

    Casting An Extra Super Duper Ginormously Wide Net, Part 2

    | Toronto, Canada | Crazy Requests, School

    Me: “Thank you for calling [college]. How can I direct your call?”

    Caller: “Hi, I’m looking for a student.”

    Me: “Certainly. Do you have the student’s name?”

    Caller: “I met them at an event at our church and wanted to talk to them about what they’re studying.”

    Me: “That seems quite reasonable. If you give me their name, I can either route your call to their dorm room, or leave them a message in their student mailbox.”

    Caller: “Well, I didn’t catch their name. Are there a lot of students there? Could I describe them to you?”

    Me: “We have about 1400 students, but I do know most of them in dorm, so we can give it a try.”

    Caller: “Okay. They’re Asian.”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but roughly half of our student population is of Chinese descent. I’m afraid that doesn’t really narrow it down much.”

    Caller: “Oh. They’re male?”

    Me: “Sorry, that’s still a large percentage of our student body.”

    Caller: “They’re studying the Bible.”

    Me: “This is a Bible college, so I’m afraid that doesn’t narrow it down at all.”

    Caller: “Is there a way that you could just announce over a speaker or something, that someone is looking to speak with a student that was at [church name] this past Sunday?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. I can’t interrupt classes to do that.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay.” *click*

    Casting An Extra Super Duper Ginormously Wide Net

    Try Targ-ET Or Alf-bertsons

    | Massachusetts, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I am working late at night at a small, family-owned store when a customer comes in.)

    Customer: “Hey, do you have any aliens in here?”

    Me: “Yeah, we have these alien action figures…”

    (I bring her over to where they are.)

    Customer: “No, I want a live alien, like, in a cage. You have those here right?”

    Me: “…No.”

    Customer: *completely serious* “Then do you have any aliens that are petrified in some kind of goo?”

    Me: “No, we don’t carry anything like that here. Maybe you should try the internet?”

    Customer: “Oh! Great idea. Thanks so much!”

    Recaf My Decaf

    | Texas, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Me: “Thanks for calling [pizza delivery]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to speak to your manager on duty.”

    Me: “That would be me. What can I do for you?”

    Caller: “I had placed an order with you earlier, and got [caffeinated soft drink] and [non-caffeinated soft drink]. I opened [non-caffeinated soft drink] and it tasted funny and raised my blood pressure. You must have tampered with it and added caffeine. I’d like a replacement.”

    Me: “I can assure you that your drink wasn’t tampered with. It’s in sealed bottle from the manufacturer. But, what would you like instead?”

    Caller: “I’d like another drink.”

    (I list the four drinks we carry, three of which have caffeine.)

    Caller: “I’d like a [another caffeinated soft drink].”

    Me: “So, you’re going to replace [non-caffeinated soft drink] that was supposedly tampered with and had caffeine added for a drink that is guaranteed to have caffeine?”

    Caller: “You got it!”

    Me: *sighs* “It’ll be the in about thirty minutes, sir. Have a nice day…”

    Pet Yourself In My Shoes

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Top

    (A regular customer has come into our pet shop with her pet hamster in a carry box. Apparently, she is on his way to put her hamster to sleep as he is very ill. She has dropped in to buy him a last treat for the journey. As she makes her way to me to pay, another customer stops her to look in the box. This other customer is a woman in her thirties with a baby in a stroller.)

    Customer: “Oh, you have a hamster. How cute! Can I pet it?”

    Regular: “Um, I’m sorry, but he’s not well. I’d rather not take him out.”

    Customer: “What’s wrong with him? Surely a wee pat isn’t going to hurt him?”

    Regular: “He has a tumor in his tummy, and it’s started to cause him discomfort. We’re on our way to the vet.”

    Customer: “Aww, the poor thing! Please let me show my friend. She’s in the shop and she loves hamsters!”

    (Suddenly, the customer tries to take the carry box from my regular, alarming her. I quickly make my way over to them.)

    Regular: “Excuse me, but this is my hamster! He’s old and sore, and I’m taking him to be put to sleep. The last thing he needs is for a stranger to manhandle him!”

    Customer: “If you’re going to have him killed anyway, you should let my friend see him first! She loves hamsters!”

    (At this heartless statement, my regular begins to cry. I decide to take a risk and teach the woman a lesson. I take hold of the customer’s stroller handles.)

    Me: *to the customer* “My coworker just LOVES babies. Can I take yours away to see her?”

    Customer: “Excuse me?! Leave that alone! What gives you the right?!”

    Me: “But I want my co-worker to see your baby.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! That’s my child, and you’ve no right to touch my buggy. I don’t even know you! Why don’t—”

    (Suddenly, a wave of realisation hits the customer and she stops mid-sentence. She then swears at me, takes the stroller back and storms off, all the while refusing eye-contact with my regular, who is still crying. I had to get my manager to tell her what happened. Although I technically had to be written up, my manager was sympathetic and the poor regular got the treats for free.)

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