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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Wish They Would Make Like A Tree And Leave

    | Mobile, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer and his wife approach the service counter.)

    Customer: “Hey. Can you get someone out to the Christmas trees? We want one cut.”

    Me: “Sure! There actually should be someone out there, but he may have stepped inside or something. I’ll call him right up for you.”

    Customer: “Well, he’s not out there!”

    Me: “Okay. No problem. But I know they’re still closed out there. Do you want to go ahead and buy a tree, so you don’t have to come back in and buy it?”

    Customer: “No! I just want a tree!”

    Customer’s Wife: “Yes. Maybe about six feet.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    Customer: “No. Just get someone out there to cut trees.”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (As I call the manager who’s supposed to be cutting the trees, the customer walks away in a huff.)

    Customer: *sarcastically* “Great customer service!”

    (I talk to the manager on the phone and note that the customer’s wife is still there.)

    Customer’s Wife: *to my coworker* “Can you call me a manager?”

    Coworker: “Oh, of course.”

    Customer’s Wife: “And YOU! That was very rude! I’ve worked years of retail, and I’ll have you know that rolling your eyes at a customer and back-talking is not acceptable!”

    (I am stunned, but I know better than to argue with her.)

    Me: “Apologies, then. I hadn’t realized I’d done either.”

    Customer’s Wife: “Well, you’ve been very rude! This is not the attitude of someone working in retail!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry. I meant no offence.”

    (At this point, the manager arrives.)

    Manager: “Hello. What’s the problem?”

    Customer’s Wife: “I have a complaint about this little girl!”

    Manager: *incredulously* “[My Name]?”

    Customer’s Wife: “Yes. She rolled her eyes at me! And said ‘yes, sir’ to my husband! And was just very flippant!”

    Manager: “Well, ma’am, I shall certainly do something to correct the problem. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

    Customer’s Wife: “Thank you!”

    (The customer’s wife walks away in a huff. The manager shakes her head. The manager turns to me, and I explain what happened. My manager turns to my coworker for verification.)

    Manager: “Was she rude or something?”

    Coworker: “No! She was very nice and polite, as always.”

    Manager: *to me* “Normally, if this was anyone else, I’d say something, but I can’t really get onto you for saying ‘sir.’ Maybe next time she comes in, we should be like, ‘b****, there’s your tree!’”

    Wouldn’t Know Fun If She Drove Into It

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (We are having an annual Christmas parade. It blocks a lot of traffic for about an hour. A driver pulls up to me.)

    Driver: “Excuse me. I need to drive through here. I need to get out to go do some business.”

    Me: “Sorry. The parade is going on right now. You can go the other direction but it’s not safe for you to go this way.”

    Driver: “I have a business to run. This is a business street. If you guys want to have fun you need to go find a fun street and not have fun on our business street!”

    Will Not Leave On The Eve

    | Ocean, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is Christmas Eve. The store is closing early because of the holiday. The people on the sales floor have herded the last shoppers to the registers. The manager is standing by the door with his keys, and at 2 pm on the dot he locks the entrance door. A customer RACES up and gets inside by ducking through the cart door.)

    Manager: “Sir, we are closed.”

    Customer: “I’m inside the store! You have to let me shop!” *starts to walk around the manager*

    Manager: *sidesteps to stay in front of the customer* “No. I do not. The store is closed, the doors are locked, there is no one on the sales floor to help you, and the registers will be shut down remotely by corporate in less than fifteen minutes.”

    Customer: “Tomorrow’s Christmas. I need to buy presents for my family! The customer is always right!”

    Security: *right behind the manager, grinning* “We have you on camera forcing your way into a closed store. It would make my day if you tried something. I wouldn’t even mind spending Christmas Eve at the police station.”

    Manager: “We are closed. There are no customers in the store when we are closed.”

    (The manager and guard stand shoulder to shoulder and walk towards the man, forcing him to back out the exit door. The customers in line are entertained enough to be relaxed instead of stressed, and we cashiers finish the shift in a GREAT mood. Best Christmas Eve shift, EVER.)

    Store Of The D***ed, Part 2

    | Monticello, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Religion

    (I work at a grocery/retail store that has a somewhat relaxed dress code for the cashiers. It is quite hot both inside and outside the store. Many of my female coworkers are wearing less clothing than usual. A customer comes to my check lane and unloads her groceries.)

    Customer: “Oh, thank God. SOMEBODY around here knows how to dress in a way that pleases the Lord!”

    (Right away, I know this is going to be unpleasant. I’m a transgender man with no religious belief.)

    Customer: “All of these god-d*** heathens dress like streetwalkers! I’m so glad I found someone uncontaminated to handle my food!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Did you say ‘uncontaminated?’”

    Customer: “Why, yes, dearie. Those worthless w****s you have to work with are contaminated by the devil! It’s too bad you have spend so much time around them, but I understand times are tough.”

    Me: “Actually, I enjoy working here. I have excellent pay, flexible hours, and the opportunity to be part of a great team. I’ve made friends with several of my coworkers, and we regularly spend time together outside of work.”

    Customer: “Oh, dearie, you know you shouldn’t yoke yourself to an unbeliever! But I suppose it’s hard to lead some to Christ if you don’t know them very well.”

    (At this point, I’m finished scanning and bagging her groceries. She pays with her card and turns to me.)

    Customer: “You know, young lady. I just feel so bad for you. You’re stuck in this awful, godless place, and I just—”

    (The customer rummages in her purse and pulls out two $5 bills.)

    Customer: “Take these are use them to do The Lord’s work!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t accept your money in good conscience. I happen to be one of those godless heathens you were upset about. Furthermore, I’m sorry to say that you have made a crucial flaw in your perception of me. I am not, as you said, a ‘young lady.’ I am a 21-year-old transgender man.”

    (The customer begins to shout various racial, homophobic, and trans-phobic slurs. My manager rushes over to find out what’s going on.)

    Customer: “THIS GODLESS C*** CONTAMINATED MY FOOD!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, you need stop verbally abusing the staff and leave the premises. If you don’t, I’ll be forced to call the police.”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU!? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?”

    Manager: “No, ma’am, and quite frankly I don’t care. You’re shouting some of the vilest insults in the English language at one of my best cashiers. Get your s*** and leave. NOW!”

    (The customer flees, insulting both of us the whole time. The next customer in line has watched the situation unfold.)

    Next Customer: *to my manager* “Excuse me. Would it be alright if I gave you both a gift card? You deserve something nice after all that.”

    Me: “You don’t need to—”

    Manager: “Uh, okay. Sure.”

    Next Customer: “Here. Just [item] and two $25 gift cards for [coffee shop].”

    (When the friendly customer gives me the gift card, his number is written on the back. We’ve been dating for almost two years!)

    Related:
    Store Of The D***ed

    Thank God Christmas Comes But Once A Year

    | MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (Due to poor customer service by a coworker, my manager is helping a customer with Christmas items. He gives her expensive live trees for $10 each and some free Christmas lights to make up for my coworker. He apologizes and thanks the customer before leaving to deal with another issue. This is what I hear when the customer goes to the services desk to pay and complain to the desk clerk.)

    Customer: “I am never shopping here again! That was horrible service.”

    Clerk: “I am so sorry about the mix up with [Coworker]. That usually doesn’t happen. [Manager] took care of you though? Right?”

    Customer: “I don’t care about what happened with [Coworker]! [Manager] was so rude! It was TERRIBLE and offensive!”

    Clerk: *shocked* “What happened with [Manager]?”

    Customer: “He didn’t wish me a Merry Christmas! He ruined my Christmas shopping trip by being a heathen! I’m going to complain to his boss!”

    (Yes, she did complain to our store manager and wrote a scathing review on our company’s ‘comment about us’ service! Thankfully, our awesome manager was not reprimanded, but was quite disappointed with the old proverb that you can’t please everyone!)

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