November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Reached Her Tea-Total

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a health food and supplement store. Mainly we sell loads of vitamins, but we also have a fairly large variety of organic and whole foods. I deal with really weird people on a daily basis. I’m can usually handle most anything, but this got me going. The customer is a lady who is probably in her mid 40s and is looking at our tea section… which is REALLY big.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you have any of the tea that helps with digestion?”

Me: “Umm, yes. Yes, we do. Did you have a brand name you were looking for, or will anything do?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah… I’m not sure. I got it here a while ago. I don’t remember the name.”

Me: “Okay well, here are some teas that are good for digestion…”

(I point to some ginger tea, which for the record, works like a charm.)

Customer: “Yeah! Yeah, it was ginger! Ummm…. no, that’s not the one though. It was in a different box.”

Me: “All right… maybe this?”

(At this point I show her a couple other brands of the ginger tea that we have. We have four other brands, but still nothing would suffice, she begins to get irritated.)

Customer: “No, that’s not it either. Listen, don’t you have any other brands of this stuff? None of this is what I got.”

Me: “I’m afraid not. Whatever we have is out here.”

Customer: “But I’ve gotten it here before!”

Me: “Umm… when was that?”

Customer: “I don’t know… It was a couple of years ago!”

Me: “Oh… well, in that case, if you don’t see it here then we’ve probably stopped carrying it.”

Customer: (noticeably getting angrier by the second) “No. Listen, it’s here. Where are your other brands?”

Me: “This is our tea section. All the tea we carry is right here. While we don’t have that brand, we do have these other ones, and I can personally vouch for [Brand] as being of high quality.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want that brand. Why don’t you have what I’m looking for?”

Me: “Well, because as I’ve just said, it’s probably because we’ve stopped carrying it.”

Customer:“This is ridiculous! Is there a manager here?”

(She is pretty angry at this point. There actually isn’t a manager there at this point, but I am the most senior employee.)

Me: “No, ma’am, but if you need any further help then your best bet would be me. I’ve the most seniority here.”


Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, all the teas we have are right here. I’ve shown you four other brands of the exact same type of tea. Unfortunately the brand you are looking for is no longer stocked here. And, also, I can’t help you locate the tea you’re looking for since you yourself do not the know brand name.”

(At this point the customer storms away and asks my co-worker the same question about teas. She’s heard some of this exchange.)

Coworker: “Um, I’m not sure if we have that brand… You could try asking [My Name]. He’s worked in grocery for a while and is the senior person here so he would definitely know.”


Me: *now getting a little annoyed* “Ma’am, at this point I wouldn’t tell you even IF I DID know. Unfortunately we don’t carry any of that tea anymore. However, if you’ll follow me to the other aisle I can show you to some of your evening primrose oil which is supposed to work wonders with people who have anger management issues!”

The Customers Are The Biggest Pest

| USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I recently started training for a pest control company setting up free inspections for ants, spiders, rodents, etc. This older gentleman is one of my very first calls.)

Caller: “I think there’s something in my crawl space and I need to know what it is!”

Me: “Okay, I would be happy to get a free technician out to identify what’s down there and give you a solution.”

Caller: “You can’t just tell me what it is?”

Me: “No, sir… We would need to get eyes on it to know what it is.”

Caller: *urgently* “Oh, no, that won’t do at all. I NEED to know what it is!”

Me: “In all honesty, sir, bugs and pests are so varied that no one but a tech would be able to diagnose that.”

Caller: “Can I talk to a tech then?”

Me: “They’re out in the field currently, but they truly would need to see the pest and the conditions in order to hel—”

Caller: “Oh, that just won’t work. I’ll call someone else!” *click*

Trainer: “Who’s he going to call?! Psychic Pest Control?”

You’ll Pop Open The Champagne When It’s Over

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(Though most Sundays are slow, we are being hit by last minute orders that need to be filled post haste. There’s only my coworker and myself, so we’re fighting to catch up when the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I serve you?”

Elderly Woman: “Do you have champagne glasses?”

Me: “Yes, we do.” *goes into list of different ones we have with prices*

Elderly Woman: “Wait, that’s too much information. Now, what kind do you have?”

Me: “Um. Well, we only carry the clear plastic kind. We have a 12 pack for [high price] and a 24 pack for [lower price] but they’re very flimsy and likely to break.”

Elderly Woman: “Uh huh. And what do they look like?”

Me: “Um. They’re clear, thin and have a long stem.”

Elderly Woman: “And are they glass?”

Me: “No, they’re all plastic.”

Elderly Woman: “Good, I have me some grandkids running around, so I don’t want them broken. How much are they apiece?”

Me: “Oh, we don’t sell them separately, ma’am. They come in packs.”

Elderly Woman: “Packs? What’s that?”

Me: “Well, they come in sets. A set of 8, 12 or 24.”

Elderly Woman: “And what are their prices?”

(This goes on for a good five minutes of me repeating myself. Finally she decides on a 12 pack and I set it aside for her.)

Me: *looking at my frantic coworker who is swamped with setting orders together all by herself* “Okay, I have your glasses set aside and ready for you to come in-store to pick up at your convenience. Thank you—”

Elderly Woman: “Oh, I can’t come in the store to pick them up. I’m handicapped, you see, so I do all my shopping by phone. I never leave my house.”

Me: “I see. We do have a website that you can order directly from and it’ll be sent to your house, ma’am.”

Elderly Woman: “No, no, I hate computers. They’re so hard to manage. I’ll just give you my credit card information and you can check me out. Then you can send it to me.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I can’t do that. That’d be against store policy, plus I would need you in-store to actually sign the receipt.”

Elderly Woman: “What? Really? But I know it’s my card.”

Me: “Yes, but I would still need you in the store with that card to sign your receipt. If we took numbers over the phone, anyone could give a number that might or might not be their credit card.”

Elderly Woman: “But I know it’s me! I’m giving my number.”

Me: “And I understand that, but it’s still illegal. Is there anyone who can come in-store to pay and pick up your items for you?”

Elderly Woman: *sour* “I guess I can send my granddaughter down there.”

Me: “Wonderful. Well, I have them put aside for you, waiting for your granddaughter. Thank you and have a nice day.”

(I hang up the phone, then go back to help package up orders, but don’t get a few steps away when the phone rings again.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store].”

Elderly Woman: “I got my glasses. Now I want to know what kind of designs you have on plates, napkins, and coffee cups.”

(She wasted 40 minutes of my time trying to ‘select’ what she wanted just to decide in the end that she was going to physically go to WalMart and pick up what she wanted.)

Can’t Sweeten The Deal

, | Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I overhear a conversation in a café:)

Customer: “Hey! I just wanted to add some of your delicious flavored syrups to my coffee.”

Barista: You bought that coffee somewhere else.”

Customer: “Yeah, but you have better flavor syrups.”

Barista: “Well, I guess I can add some to your coffee. It will be 40¢ for each flavor. What would you like?”

Customer: “What? I just want the syrup.”

Barista: “I know but we did buy them, so I have to charge you something.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I came here just for your flavored syrup!”

Barista: “Maybe next time you can come here for your coffee and then get whatever you want added to it.”

Customer: “But [Other Coffee Shop] has better coffee!”

No Longer Power-Mad Over Those With Power

, | TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

(At the fast food place where I work we’re constantly getting customers complaining about the prices of our food, mostly when it’s only women working the counter. Though we tell them they can call the number provided to complain to our main branch, they never do. This day, however, corporate representatives, including the owner of the store, was at our restaurant for a routine inspection.)

Customer: “I can’t believe how high this stuff is! This is ridiculous!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but we have no control over the prices.”

Customer: “It’s still f***ed up! You need to lower the prices!”

Manager: “Sir, I have no control the price of the food. However, if you have a problem with it, you can go talk to the man in the tie right over there. He’s the one that sets the prices.”

(The man looks at the owner and turns back, red-faced. He takes his food and leaves the store, not even glancing back in the direction of the owner.)

Manager: “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

(He’s never complained about the prices since.)