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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Let There Be Unhappy Feet

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I am working at the penguin exhibit during the summer.)

    Guest: “Hey, why are all the lights off?”

    Me: “The penguins are from the Southern Hemisphere, so it’s winter for them. Therefore, we have the lights off for most of the day in order to simulate the dark Antarctic winter environment.”

    Guest: “Well, I don’t think it’s healthy for them to be in the dark so long. You should release them back to the wild and into the light.”

    Me: “Ma’am, like I said, it is dark in Antarctica right now too. If we released them there, they would still be in the dark.”

    Guest: “Whatever… it’s just not healthy! They need to see the light!” *pauses* “You forgot to pay your electric bill, didn’t you?”

    Me: “What? No! Of course we pay our electric bills. All the lights are on in the park! However, in order to keep our penguins happy, we have to keep it dark in the summer.”

    Guest: “Don’t lie! I can’t believe you are keeping these fish in such drab conditions! Next time, pay your electric bill!”

    Me: *speechless*

    What A Tool, Part 2

    | WA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I work for a large department store known for selling tools and hardware under their own brand. They have a lifetime guarantee on tools of this brand, and will exchange any broken or defective tool at any time. I am working in the tools department. A customer comes into the store with a whole lot of tools.)

    Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to exchange all of my tools for new ones.”

    Me:All of your tools? Are they broken?”

    Customer: “No, they’re not broken. They’re used. I want new nice looking tools.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we cannot exchange all of your tools just because they’re used. We can only exchange them if they are broken or defective.”

    Customer: “But they have a lifetime guarantee! I can exchange them any time I want! And now they’re used, and I just got a new job working for a car dealership, and I want new tools that look nice! You have to exchange these!”

    Me: “Sir, are you going to be actually working on cars, or just hanging your tools on your wall?”

    Customer: “Get me your manager now!”

    (I call my manager, and overhear part of his conversation with the customer.)

    Customer: “No, they’re just used. I want new tools that look nice for my new job at a car dealership.”

    Manager: “So, are you actually going to work on cars with your tools, or just hang them on the wall?”

    Customer: *leaves in a huff*

    Related:
    What A Tool

    At Lagerheads, Part 2

    | Reading, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (I am working late at a local pizzeria. I’m already pretty aggravated due to having to cover someone else’s shift who called off that night, but I have managed to keep my cool. A customer calls in on the phone to place an order for delivery. He sounds fairly plastered already but is polite enough so I begin to take his order.)

    Me: “What can I get for you tonight, sir?”

    Customer: “I’d like two plain pizzas, a cheese steak stromboli, an order of hot wings, and a six pack of Heineken.”

    Me: “Sir, we can’t deliver beer.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Well sir, we just don’t. It’s against company policy. Now, can I get your name and address so we can send your food out to you?”

    Customer: “Sure, but I’d like to change the order.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem, what’s it going to be?”

    Customer: “Well I said two plain pizzas, but now I’d like you to reach down your pants and tear out a large handful of pubic hair and toss it on top of my pizzas.”

    Me: “Not a problem, sir; that’s complimentary and is included in each and every one of our meals free of charge.”

    Customer: “F*** you. I’ll be in to pick it up shortly.”

    (I figured he was way too drunk to drive over, so I didn’t make his order. I was right.)

    Related:
    At Lagerheads

    Should Have Read The Fine-Prints

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I’m a manager in retail. I am called to the photo section after a customer decides he doesn’t want some pictures, but then decides he should get them for free after finding out what a waste prints are.)

    Me: “So, these are the pictures you want, and these are the ones you don’t want?”

    Customer: “No, I want all those. The ones I don’t want are behind you.”

    Me: “Oh, so those are the waste prints.”

    Customer: “Yes. What do you do with those?”

    Me: “We destroy them.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Because pictures are private property. I have to assume you don’t want them shared with strangers, so we dispose of them.”

    Customer: “Can I have them for free, then?”

    Me: “If I sell them to you, sure.”

    Customer: “But you’re just going to destroy them.”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “So you should just give them to me for free instead of wasting them.”

    Me: “I can’t do that. That’s like handing items on the shelf out for free.”

    Customer: “But where’s the profit in just tearing them up?”

    Me: “Well, where’s the profit in giving them out for free?”

    Customer: “So, there’s no profit anyway. So, you should give them to me for free.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. Again, that’s like handing merchandise out for free. I can give them to you if I can sell them to you, though.”

    Customer: “No, that’s okay. Is Kathy here?”

    (Note: Kathy is my boss.)

    Me: “Nope, not today.”

    Customer: “Oh. Because if she were here, she’d give them to me.”

    Me: “That may be, but unless I hear it from her, I won’t give them out. If I start handing stuff out for free, I’m going to get in trouble.”

    Customer: “Oh no, don’t, I don’t want you to be in trouble, see, I’m a preacher!”

    Me: “Well that’s good! I don’t want to be in trouble, either!”

    Better Make It A Double

    | Ipswich, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway, Top, Underaged

    (I am working in a pub, and my sister, my identical twin, has come in to say hello during a busy period. She has queued, and I have served her an alcoholic drink. I am just handing it over when this conversation starts.)

    Customer: “You didn’t check the ID of this girl. She doesn’t look old enough to drink. I demand you check her ID!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir, but I can assure you that she is old enough to drink.”

    Customer: “She is only about 12! She is nowhere old enough to drink. I will call the police if you do not check her ID!”

    Me: “Sir, she is old enough to drink. She is my sister, and I can assure you that she is 20 years old.”

    Customer: “If you won’t check her ID, I am going to call the police!”

    (The customer takes his phone out and makes a show of dialing. My sister looks embarrassed, but pays for her drink, shows me her driving license as she does look young, and takes a seat at the bar.)

    Me: “See? My sister is old enough to drink.”

    Customer: “No! You’re breaking the law!” *to everyone around us* “She’s breaking the law!”

    (Hearing the commotion, security comes.)

    Security: “What is the trouble, sir?”

    Customer: “That girl has served a drink to an underage customer! She used a fake ID; I saw her!”

    Security: “Sir, can’t you see the resemblance? The girl serving you is the identical twin of this customer. If she is old enough to serve you drinks, her twin is old enough to drink, too.”

    Customer: *muttering* “Well… she doesn’t look as old as she does!” *leaves*


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