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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Removed From Reality

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Remove me from your mailing list.”

    Me: “Okay, certainly. Nay I have your last name?”

    Customer: *rattles off long unintelligible letters*

    Me: “Er, I’m sorry. Could you repeat that a little slower?”

    Customer: “Just remove me from the list!”

    Me: “I’d be happy to, sir, but I need your name and the address you’d like to remove.”

    Customer: “You know that already! You should be able to look me up by the last three letters of my last name right?!”

    Me: “Uh, no. I can’t. May I have your name and address to remove?”

    Customer: “NO. JUST TAKE ME OFF THE LIST. I KNOW YOU HAVE A LIST!” *disconnects*

    Coworker: *who heard the whole thing and is laughing hysterically at my bewildered expression* “I hope he thinks we actually removed him and then gets a ton more in the mail!”

    Pretend You Weren’t Listening

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (I work in an electronics store and we sell speakers and sound bars for TVs. We sometimes sell our display units if we are out of stock. One of my coworkers has been talking to a customer about one for ages, but since he is about to leave, he says the customer is happy with it and asks me to pack it up for him. The customer has been watching me struggle with the packaging for about five minutes.)

    Customer: “Thanks for packing that up for me; that looked like it was a hard one to do.”

    (I’m currently putting tape over the box, sealing it in there.)

    Me: “Yeah, it was. You get used to doing it while working, but sometimes it’s particularly difficult. I’m glad I FINALLY got it in though; sorry for taking so long.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. Can I have a listen to it now?”

    Me: “…”

    Call The Missing Parent’s Hotline

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Money

    (I am the manager of the admission desk at a museum. While I am serving a client, a woman and her two kids (around 10 and 12 years old) enter the museum and try pass by the admission desk. I politely tell her to wait just one moment while I’m taking care of the client in front of me. I then ask her if I could help her.)

    Woman: “Yes, I’m here for the free activity for my kids.”

    (Our museum holds a workshop for kids each Sunday where they can do arts and crafts, themed with our current exhibitions.)

    Me: “Of course, the workshop is one floor below. Kids 12 years old and under are always free and right now, we offer a 25% discount on the regular entrance fee. So, for one adult, it will come to [price].”

    Woman: “I thought it was free!”

    Me: “It is free for kids 12 and under. But as I said, we offer a 25% discount on the regular adult rate. Also, each kid visiting our museum will receive a free bag with other games they can do in our regular exhibitions.”

    Woman: “No, no, no. I went on [Website that isn’t ours] and they say the workshop is free for families.”

    Me: “I am so sorry, madam, but, unfortunately, while it is actually free for the kids, adults have to pay.”

    Woman: “Well, then, I’ll leave my kids to you and be back in half an hour.”

    Me: “Madam, I am really sorry but a responsible adult must stay with the kids at all time. By law, they cannot stay alone in our facility.”

    Woman: “Why not? Just take care of them. Make them do the workshop. What’s so difficult about it?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, we do not have the accreditations to do so. The volunteer in charge of the activity is not trained to take care of your kids… just to explain the activity and how it works. We need you to stay with your kids.”

    Woman: “But the website says that it is free!”

    Me: “I’m sorry but that website was wrong. It is, indeed, free for kids but not for adults.”

    Woman: “It is false advertising!”

    Me: “Actually, if you check our official website, it clearly state that parents need to pay. We do not have control on what other website posts. I will gladly take the website name again so I can make sure that the information they have is the right one.”

    Woman: “That website says it is free, so you have to let me come for free!”

    Me: “We cannot be held responsible for what other websites put online. Again, if you check our website—”

    Woman: “Well, I don’t care. Why are you not taking my kids, then? We came here because [Other Website] said it was free! I’m from [Town about 20 minutes from here] and we took public transit, which cost money. I don’t have money for this.”

    Me: “I understand your frustration, madam. I really do. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do except make sure that [Other Website] stops posting false information about our workshop.”

    Woman: “Just take the kids, then. They can do the workshop. They’ll behave.”

    Me: “Again, madam, that is impossible. The staff is neither qualified or trained to do it.”

    Woman: “Why not?”

    Me: “Just for the purpose of this, if your kids have allergies—”

    Woman: “My kids don’t have any allergies!”

    Me: “That is not the point. If something, ANYHTHING, happens to your kids, we don’t have the staff or the infrastructures to help them. That is why, when you want to register you kids for school, day camp, summer camp, you have all of those contracts to sign.”

    Woman: “This is insane. You are not giving me a good customer service. I leave my kids alone all the time. Even at the grocery store! I leave them while I do other errands. There is nothing wrong with that! I want to speak with the manager.”

    Me: “Actually, I am the one in charge of the admission.”

    Woman: “Well, there must be someone more important in charge.”

    Me: “There is, but the offices are closed during weekends. Do you want me to provide you with the phone numbers and names of the people in charge so you can contact someone?”

    (I gave her all the names and phone numbers needed and she left saying that she was going to report me for not letting her kids stay unsupervised! You know what the worst part was? This was not the first time! We had to call the police because a couple left their kids at the museum while they went to a restaurant! They were absent for more than an hour. Thank god the police officer was on our side! We also had a woman who left her infant child alone so she could go shopping. In both these cases, none of the parents claimed to know what was wrong…)

    Shaping Up To Be An Awful Night

    | MA, USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work in a fancy little restaurant dealing with snooty stuck-up rich people.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like the [Restaurant Name] salad, and I want the avocado slices on the left side of the salad.”

    Me: “All right, we’ll put the order in and have your salads up in a few minutes.”

    (Roughly 10 minutes go by. I grab the food from the kitchen.)

    Me: “Here are your salads.”

    Customer: “What the h***l is this! I SAID I WANTED THE AVOCADO ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE SALAD!”

    (I notice that I served him his salad with the avocado on the right.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, just let me rectify this.”

    (I proceed to spin his salad around for him so now the avocado is on his left.)

    Customer: “WELL, NOW ALL I HAVE IS A BACKWARDS SALAD! I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER! I’M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU GET FIRED BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE THE MOST INCOMPETENT WAITER THERE IS THAT YOU CAN’T LISTEN TO SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS AND KNOW YOUR LEFT AND RIGHT!”

    (I walk to my manager, quickly explain the issue, and he walks over to the customer.)

    Customer: “Your employee here is an absolute disgrace! I can’t imagine why [Restaurant Owner] hired them. They don’t even know their left from right! I demand reconciliation and the cost of the rest of my meal be compensated for this vast incompetence.”

    Manager: “Well, sir, I’d like to explain a simple fact. We are not going to be comping your meal; your argument and complaint is absolutely ridiculous. The salad is on a circular plate, there are no sides to a salad. It cannot be backwards. I apologize for your problem with shapes and hope you have a wonderful night.”

    Me: “So, what would you like to order for entrees, or would you just like the bill?”

    Not-So-Smartphone, Part 13

    | MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in the electronics department of a supermarket, where we sell prepaid phone cards.)

    Customer #1: “When I tried to add this card to my daughter’s phone, it keeps telling me it’s invalid.”

    Me: “Let’s see what we can figure out. We’ll try to add the card for you and see what happens.”

    (The customer hands me the phone card and receipt, and recites the phone number to me. I attempt to add it using our computer and receive the message that the plan is not compatible with the model of phone. This carrier has a policy that their smartphones can only take the unlimited plans and won’t allow the fixed-minutes cards to be loaded on smartphones.)

    Me: “It looks like the issue is that your daughter’s phone is probably a smartphone. Unfortunately, this particular plan is not compatible with smartphones, and you’d have to buy the [slightly more expensive card]. Our customer service desk would be happy to exchange it for you if you’ll pay the difference, though!”

    (The woman calls her daughter and learns that it is, in fact, a smartphone. I return her card and receipt along with providing her the correct card, and she walks off. About ten minutes later, a man walks up to me.)

    Customer #2: “We can’t get this card to load on our phone.”

    Me: “That happens sometimes! Believe it or not, we actually have had someone come in with the same problem just a while ago. Let’s see if we can’t get it to go through our computer.”

    (He hands me the phone card and a phone number written on a piece of paper, with no receipt. I enter the information and receive the same error message from before.)

    Me: “Okay, it looks like the phone is a smartphone, which isn’t able to take this particular—”

    (The woman from before walks up to join him, and I realize it’s the exact same card and phone number.)

    Customer #1: Why the h*** can’t it just take that? It’s ridiculous to pay so much for cell phone service!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, that’s just [Carrier]‘s policy. You might be able to take it up with them if you call their customer service number but we’re not able to do anything about it ourselves.”

    Customer #1: *irate* “Whatever!”

    (They take their card and the phone number, and walk away. Shortly after, the woman returns again.)

    Customer #1: “You didn’t give me my receipt back!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we gave you your receipt with the card when you brought it over here the first time.”

    Customer #1: “But then you didn’t give it back the second time! Give it back!”

    (I check all around the area for the receipt despite the fact I know I wasn’t given it the second time, and am not able to find it. I tell her politely that it was never given to me and she storms away angrily, complaining about the phone plan the whole time. Later that evening, one of my coworkers answers the phone and is talking with a customer. From the look on his face, the customer is obviously upset about something. Eventually he turns to me to ask a question.)

    Coworker: “Um, the smartphones for [Carrier] can only take the unlimited cards, right?”

    (Turned out, it was the same customer from before, hoping a different employee at the same store would be able to give her a different answer. When he wasn’t able to change anything either, she demanded the number to one of our other stores in the area – whose electronics area was currently understaffed and who hadn’t been able to answer the phone all day. We didn’t hear back from her after that, but I like to think she got stuck on hold for a good while.)

    Related:
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 12
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 11
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10

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