Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

This Is Just The Tip Of The Ice

, | Okemos, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in a small coffee kiosk located in a shopping mall. A customer comes up, and the transaction is fairly normal right up until the end.)

Customer: “This coffee is so hot! Could you please get me some ice to cool it down?”

Me: “Of course!”

(I proceed to grab a paper cup and put a reasonable amount of ice in it, which I then hand to the customer.)

Customer: “Oh, this isn’t enough! Can I have more?”

Me: “Sure, sorry about that!” *I do exactly as she asks*

Customer: “Now this is just too much ice. Can you pour a little out?”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

(I’m a little annoyed, but do my best to be as polite as possible as I pour a little bit of ice out.)

Customer: “That’s still too much ice! I really wish I could just do this myself…”

(The customer then proceeds to pour about half of the ice into her hand, and then holds out her hand full of ice, clearly expecting me to do the same.)

Me: “Uh….”

(I grab a nearby cup for her to pour it in. She ignores this, dumps the ice on the credit card reader and containers of sugar packets, and walks away happily as can be with her coffee filled with what she apparently considered to be the perfect amount of ice.)

Should Have Tried That Second Line First

| UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I’m second-line support and for most of the day, I’m calling customers back to deal with things first-line can’t. After 5 pm, if it’s busy we help first-line out and take incoming calls, partly because our calls are often long, partly because most of our customers close at 5 pm and are unlikely to be there. I am taking a troublesome call that goes past 5:30, and my boss is standing behind me, wanting to close up so he can collect his kids.)

Caller: “Look, I know how this works. Nobody on first-line knows anything. Tou’re just trying to get rid of me because it’s past 5:30!”

Me: “Well, the most senior of the 2nd-line technicians are still here. Would you like to talk to them?”

Caller: “Yes! Finally. Put him on.”

Me: “Okay her name’s [My Name]. I’ll just get her.”

(I put him on hold for two seconds, pick up again, repeat what I’d told him to do without even asking about the problem, and he goes away happy.)

Boss: “I wish I could be surprised that worked.”

Denser Than The Dough

, | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work in the bakery department of a rather large supermarket chain. We are one of the few remaining chains in the area with a fresh bakery: our breads are made from scratch every morning. We have a particularly smug customer who always thinks he is right about everything. Normally he complains about the prices on products, expecting the prices to never change… ever.)

Customer: “Do you have any Mountain Bread?”

(This type of bread is a round loaf cut in a particular way with flour on top to make it look like the snow on a mountain. It is extremely popular.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we ran sold out of that today. But if you would like to buy this loaf here—” *I gesture to an Italian loaf* “—it is the exact same bread. It is just a different shape.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t! It tastes completely different. The dough is nothing alike!”

Me: “I assure you sir, they are exactly the same.”

Customer: “NO, THEY AREN’T! I KNOW MY BREAD AND THESE ARE NOT THE SAME! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?! I’M AN EXPERT WITH BREAD!”

Me: “And I know MY bread as I made these both this very morning, and I assure you the dough for both is made in one giant batch. We set aside some of it to make into round Mountain loafs and some of it to be set aside for the more standard Italian loaves. It is the exact same dough; the only difference is that the Mountain bread gets flour on top. That is it.”

Customer: “YOU’RE WRONG! THE DOUGH IS NOTHING ALIKE!”

Me: *fed up* “How about you try a piece?”

(I take a loaf from the shelf and offer him a slice. He takes the slice and takes a bite.)

Customer: “…I guess it is close… BUT IT’S NOT THE SAME!” *he takes a loaf and leaves*

Me: *to a coworker* “What part of I MADE THIS and IT COMES FROM THE SAME BATCH was so hard to understand?”

Coworker: “Some people are just dense…”

(The customer still shops in my store, though he hasn’t had any big issues like this in quite some time.)

Not Very Manly Behavior

| ON, Canada | Bigotry, Crazy Requests

(I am in my 20s. I am a moderately tall and sturdily-built woman. An older man, perhaps in his 70s, buys a 50 pound bag of dog food. My coworker on cash asks if he would like someone to carry the heavy bag out to his car, and he says yes. Since I’m working the front, I go to do that.)

Old Man: “No, I want your boss to do it.”

(My boss is a small man, shorter and slimmer than me, and is helping another customer.)

Me: “He’s busy at the moment. I’m perfectly—”

Old Man: “No, you can’t. I want him to do it.”

Me: “Really, I’m quite strong…”

Old Man: “No, no, you can’t do it. Just put it down!”

Boss: *having overheard, comes over and gestures to me to give him the bag* “It’s okay.”

Me: “But I’m bigger than you…”

Boss: *taking the bag* “Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

(When my boss came back, he told me that the older customer just didn’t want a woman doing something he could not.)

You Just Weeded Yourself Out, Part 2

| Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

(My coworker is cleaning out the fitting room and finds a fairly generous bag of weed. Later in the day the police stop by in the back room and are picking it up. Meanwhile on the floor…)

Customer: “Hey, I left a bag here earlier.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of bag?”

Customer: “Just a ziploc bag with some… cooking herbs…”

Me: “Uh. Well, my coworker did find a bag matching that description earlier.”

Customer: “Can I have it back?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “What? Why not! You guys are stealing my… herbs. I’m a… chef… I need those!”

Me: “Well, I can go tell the police officers in the back that the owner of the marijuana came back if you would like.”

(The customer turned around and ran right out of the store.)

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You Just Weeded Yourself Out

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