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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Not A Breadwinning Idea

    | NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (An older man comes into the cafe and looks our menu over. We serve salads, sandwiches, and soup.)

    Customer: “I want a sandwich, but I don’t eat bread.”

    Me: “Hmm…”

    Customer: “I’m probably not going to have any luck with that, am I?”

    Me: “No, sir, I don’t think so.”

    On Vacation From Reason

    | Windsor, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Themed Giveaway

    (I am a working at a salon though a Cooperative Education program at my high school, and am still a Senior. I answer the phone.)

    Me: “[Salon name], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to book an appointment today with [employee who is on vacation].”

    Me: “Sorry, [employee] is actually on vacation. I could book you with another stylist today or with [employee] when she returns.”

    Customer: “What do you mean she’s on vacation? I need a haircut!”

    Me: “Oh, well, yes she is on a cruise. But like I said before, I can book you with another stylist or—”

    Customer: “No, no, no! This is unacceptable! I want to book an appointment today with [employee]! How could she go on vacation and do this to me?”

    Me: “Well, she had vacation days to use up, so she is gone. Now, would you like to book an appointment for a later date?”

    Customer: “No! I want [employee] to cut my hair today! Gosh, what don’t you understand? Are you stupid?”

    (I try to explain several more times that the certain employee she is requesting has gone on vacation and would be back in a few weeks, but she simply won’t listen.)

    Customer: “Fine! This is just ridiculous! I guess I will book an appointment with another stylist but this is just silly! [Employee] should not be allowed to go on vacation!”

    Let There Be Unhappy Feet

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I am working at the penguin exhibit during the summer.)

    Guest: “Hey, why are all the lights off?”

    Me: “The penguins are from the Southern Hemisphere, so it’s winter for them. Therefore, we have the lights off for most of the day in order to simulate the dark Antarctic winter environment.”

    Guest: “Well, I don’t think it’s healthy for them to be in the dark so long. You should release them back to the wild and into the light.”

    Me: “Ma’am, like I said, it is dark in Antarctica right now too. If we released them there, they would still be in the dark.”

    Guest: “Whatever… it’s just not healthy! They need to see the light!” *pauses* “You forgot to pay your electric bill, didn’t you?”

    Me: “What? No! Of course we pay our electric bills. All the lights are on in the park! However, in order to keep our penguins happy, we have to keep it dark in the summer.”

    Guest: “Don’t lie! I can’t believe you are keeping these fish in such drab conditions! Next time, pay your electric bill!”

    Me: *speechless*

    What A Tool, Part 2

    | WA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I work for a large department store known for selling tools and hardware under their own brand. They have a lifetime guarantee on tools of this brand, and will exchange any broken or defective tool at any time. I am working in the tools department. A customer comes into the store with a whole lot of tools.)

    Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to exchange all of my tools for new ones.”

    Me:All of your tools? Are they broken?”

    Customer: “No, they’re not broken. They’re used. I want new nice looking tools.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we cannot exchange all of your tools just because they’re used. We can only exchange them if they are broken or defective.”

    Customer: “But they have a lifetime guarantee! I can exchange them any time I want! And now they’re used, and I just got a new job working for a car dealership, and I want new tools that look nice! You have to exchange these!”

    Me: “Sir, are you going to be actually working on cars, or just hanging your tools on your wall?”

    Customer: “Get me your manager now!”

    (I call my manager, and overhear part of his conversation with the customer.)

    Customer: “No, they’re just used. I want new tools that look nice for my new job at a car dealership.”

    Manager: “So, are you actually going to work on cars with your tools, or just hang them on the wall?”

    Customer: *leaves in a huff*

    Related:
    What A Tool

    At Lagerheads, Part 2

    | Reading, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (I am working late at a local pizzeria. I’m already pretty aggravated due to having to cover someone else’s shift who called off that night, but I have managed to keep my cool. A customer calls in on the phone to place an order for delivery. He sounds fairly plastered already but is polite enough so I begin to take his order.)

    Me: “What can I get for you tonight, sir?”

    Customer: “I’d like two plain pizzas, a cheese steak stromboli, an order of hot wings, and a six pack of Heineken.”

    Me: “Sir, we can’t deliver beer.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Well sir, we just don’t. It’s against company policy. Now, can I get your name and address so we can send your food out to you?”

    Customer: “Sure, but I’d like to change the order.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem, what’s it going to be?”

    Customer: “Well I said two plain pizzas, but now I’d like you to reach down your pants and tear out a large handful of pubic hair and toss it on top of my pizzas.”

    Me: “Not a problem, sir; that’s complimentary and is included in each and every one of our meals free of charge.”

    Customer: “F*** you. I’ll be in to pick it up shortly.”

    (I figured he was way too drunk to drive over, so I didn’t make his order. I was right.)

    Related:
    At Lagerheads


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