November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

The Opposite Of A Rib-Tickler

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m the last to get cut tonight and end up having to pick up a table. Right off the bat, this woman tells me how last time she had a horrible experience and that our boss said he’d take care of them the next time they were in.)

Customer: “I want our appetizer crispy, but not burnt. I want our ribs to be meaty and full. I don’t want them to just pick out any kind and my daughter will have her steak medium.”

(I bring out the appetizer.)

Customer: “This isn’t crispy at all! See all this?”

(I go back and get a new one started for her. When I come back out to tell her that, she says:)

Customer: “Well, we actually want it without all the seasoning on it.”

(I run back to let the kitchen guys know, and they are now making the third appetizer for this family. I bring it out when it’s ready.)

Customer: *after about a minute of eating the appetizer* “Why is everything taking so long? Why is the food taking so long? We’ve been here three hours!”

(It’s been approximately a half an hour.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, we had to make you three appetizers first, before the food was put in.”

Customer: “I don’t care. It’s taking too long. And they better not screw up the ribs.”

(I go back to the kitchen and tell the guys they really need to help me out here and they do their best.)

Customer: *after biting into her ribs* “Do you see this? It’s so dry! Taste it!”

Me: “No, thanks, ma’am. I trust you.”

(I grab my manager and have her talk to them. We get her two new baked potatoes, she argues over what medium meant, etc. My manager takes the ribs off the bill. I take it out to her.)

Customer: “Well, I don’t think we should pay for any of this! We didn’t eat it! My daughter hardly touched her steak.”

(I ran back and begged my manager to take care of it, since they had been here over an hour and a half and we’re closed. She took care of the whole check. I sat down with the woman and chatted for a minute afterwards, and she handed me $6… on a check that should’ve been $50, for a table that kept me past closing.)

Sugar-Coating The Prices

| Lincolnshire, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(An elderly lady asks to see our wine list:)

Customer: “Do you have any house white wines that are sweet?”

Me: “No. Unfortunately our two house white wines are both dry wines. However we do have this [slightly more expensive] sweet white wine. Would you like a glass of that?”

Customer: “No, no. Just bring me a glass of this house white wine and two packets of sugar.”

Gave Them A Rude Awakening

| USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests

(I work in the parts department of a tractor dealership. The wife of a local greenhouse owner (who I am unaware has a reputation as a real b****) comes in to pick up some small parts that are in will-call. The transaction goes smoothly; the parts are already pulled and on the shelf waiting for her. I give her the parts, she pays, and leaves. On Monday morning, the lady calls on the phone and demands to talk to the owner.)

Owner: “Good morning! How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to complain about how I was treated when I came in on Saturday to get my parts! [My Name] was rude to me!”

(The owner knows I had worked the previous Saturday, and I have a reputation for being courteous and polite. He puts the customer on hold, and calls me into his office to ask me about the encounter. I describe the smooth transaction that had occurred. He asks me to wait and went back to the call.)

Owner: “[My Name] was rude to you? I have trouble believing that.”

Customer: “Yes, he was discourteous and rude.”

Owner: “I’ll tell you what, Mrs. [Customer]. There are two other dealers in town that you can buy your parts from in the future. Frankly, the $300 in parts we sell you yearly isn’t worth all the grief you give me. In the future, please take your business elsewhere.” *hangs up, turns to me and says* “That’s how we deal with that.”

No Point Gagging Over Spoiled Milk

| CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working behind the customer service desk when an elderly woman approaches with a plastic bag.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this milk and get my $3.69 back.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. If you give me your receipt, I’ll be happy to help.”

Customer: “I don’t have the receipt. I threw it away somewhere. I don’t know. Just give me the refund. I smelled this milk, and it went very bad!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m not allowed to issue refunds on opened dairy products without a receipt, but I can do an exchange if you’d like to go pick up a new one.”

Customer: “I don’t want a new one. I bought this milk this morning and it went very bad, so I’m sure all your milk is bad. I haven’t even had a chance to put it in my fridge yet and it’s already bad!”

Me: *thinking of the record heat wave we were having* “…Ma’am, it’s almost four pm. Are you saying you’ve had the milk in your car all day today?”

Customer: “Yes! Where else would I keep it while I visit my friends?! And it is very bad!”

(She then proceeds to take the plastic jug of milk out of the bag and puts it on the counter. The plastic is transparent and the sun has done a serious number on it; it’s bulging so much that the bottom isn’t flat and the jug is barely standing up straight.)

Me: “Oh , dear lord… Ma’am, you can’t willingly let your milk spoil and then come ask for a refund. Or even an exchange! I’ll have to ask you to take that away.”

Customer: “If you don’t believe me, then smell it!”

Me: “I believe you and I’m not getting near that thing!”

Customer: “No! You smell it right now!” *grabs the jug of milk and waves it at me*

(I start backing away and give a little knock on the door behind me to summon the manager. As he comes out, he sees the bulging container in her hands and gasps.)

Me: “She left it in her car all day. It’s 104°F out there. She wants a refund and she wants me to smell it.”

Manager: *still standing in the doorway behind me* “Ma’am, we can’t possibly give you a refund for being negligent with your items. You’re welcome to grab a new milk if you want.”

Customer: “I don’t want a new one. They’re all bad! See? Smell this!”

(She starts twisting open the cap and everything goes into slow motion as my manager leaps backwards into his office trying to close his door and I reach out to stop her, yelling ‘nooooo!’ Everyone within earshot is watching while she takes the cap off and something comes belching out of the jug: chunky white liquid splashing out onto the counter and the floor. The customer has conveniently opened it facing away from herself and remains clean and upwind.)

Customer: “See? It’s bad. Smell it!”

Me: *retching and on the verge of tears* “Oh, god, I can’t NOT smell it!”

Manager: *cracking open his door with his mouth and nose covered* “Give her the money! Get her out of here!”

(I smother myself with my own arm as I open the register and throw a five dollar bill onto the counter.)

Me: “Here is your refund, ma’am, plus whatever. Please just go!”

(She put the opened milk back on the counter, calmly opened her purse, counted out the $1.31 difference, took the $5, thanked us, and left with a satisfied smile on her face. As I called for the cleaning crew, I grabbed her plastic bag off the counter and felt something inside. She had the receipt the whole time.)

Driven To Make A Mis-Steak

| Princeton, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(Our family walks into a nice steakhouse at two in the afternoon, due to weather and personal delays. Fortunately, they are still serving customers. A large car is outside of the door, its engine still running. As we are waiting to be seated, an older gentleman walks up to the maître d’.)

Old Customer: “Is your valet usually this busy?”

Host: “I’m sorry?”

Old Customer: “My car has been sitting outside for almost an hour now and it’s still there! He must have been very busy running around parking and fetching cars. Make sure you pay him better. It’s very cold outside right now.”

Host: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t offer valet parking services for lunch hours. Valet service is only available for dinner.”

Old Customer: “Oh… I left my keys in my car!”

(The old gentleman quickly walked out and parked his car. He returned a few minutes later and thanked the host. Good thing this was a relatively safe neighborhood!)