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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

    , | UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (Four months before this, I broke my leg very badly while at university. I am currently working in a shop at home over the holidays. I’m at the checkouts and see a lady with her arm in a sling trying to cut in front of a very long queue.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. The queue starts over there.”

    Customer: “I was standing in [other queue] for ages before someone told me it was a self service!”

    Me: “Sorry, but all these people have been queuing.”

    Customer: “It’s a bloody outrage. Your signs aren’t at all clear!”

    Next Customer In Line: “Oh, just let her go.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “I’ve got a sprained wrist. You people have no idea how much pain I’m in! I shouldn’t be treated like this! I’ve a good mind to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Actually, I do know. Four months ago, I broke my leg in six places and had to have several operations to fix it. I’ve been walking on it for less than a month. In order to fund myself through medical school, so I can be a doctor and help people, I’m spending nine hours a day standing on my feet serving customers who can’t do anything but complain.”

    (The customer looked ashamed, mumbled a ‘sorry,’ and was polite from then on, avoiding the angry glares the other customers in line were giving her.)

    Had Enough Of Her S***

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Money

    (I work for a small town plumber answering his phones and scheduling his jobs.)

    Me: “Good morning. This is [Company]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I am calling to get [Boss] out here right away. My toilet is over-flowing and I need him out here, now.”

    Me: “Okay, let me see what I can do for you. Can I please have your name?”

    Customer: *gives me her name*

    Me: “And I will need the address of where we are to go.”

    Customer: “I am a repeat customer. You should already have my address. Now look it up and be quick about it.”

    Me: “All right. I am checking our database; however, I do not see you in here. I will be happy to get your information right now so that we can schedule a time to come out.”

    Customer: “What? I am not in there?! What kind of a company doesn’t keep customer records? You find me now, and stop being lazy.  Your boss would never delete me. I am a very important customer to him.”

    Me: “I am sorry. I did not say you were deleted. Perhaps the previous person never entered you into the system but I will be happy to do that for you now.”

    Customer: “Look. I want [Boss] out to my house, now!

    (The customer reluctantly gives me her physical address.)

    Customer: “Apparently you don’t know who I am. What is your name?”

    Me: “My name is [My Name].  I am checking our schedule and I can have one of our technicians come out to take care of you this afternoon. Will 1 pm be convenient for you?”

    Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about, 1pm? No, that is not convenient for me. I want [Boss] here now to clean this s*** up, and don’t send anyone but him.”

    Me: “I am terribly sorry, but he is on another job out of the area at the moment. The soonest I could have a technician to your place would be in about an hour but I will have to pull him off another job. I can send [Technician] to take care of you then. Would that be all right with you?”

    Customer: “Absolutely not. Now, you get on the phone and get your boss out here to clean this s*** up. I want my appointment with him. You put me on your calendar with him and stop arguing with me. Don’t you know that the customer is always right?  You should be grateful for the business I am giving you.”

    Me: “I am sorry, but my boss is unavailable today. Are you sure that you would not reconsider one of our other technicians? They are all very well qualified to do their jobs as plumbers.”

    Customer: “I do not deal with anyone but [Boss]. He is the only one that is allowed near my toilet. It is my toilet and if I want him to come clean up this s***ty mess then you are to find him and get him over here. I am a paying customer and I will not take no for an answer. You are giving me very bad customer service. I want this s*** cleaned up and I want it done now. If you do not get your boss over here, I will go on [Review Site] and destroy his perfect record.”

    Me: “I am very sorry that [Boss] is not available right now. I will call him and have him call you. In the meantime if you change your mind and would like to have one of our other technicians come out please call me back and I will schedule it right away. Is there anything else I can do for you to help you out today?”

    Customer: *huffs* “You do that and make it snappy. I don’t have all day to wait around for you, you ungrateful little b****!” *hangs up*

    (When I told my boss about her, he said that she was rich and had lots of rich friends, and he wanted their business, so I should have tried harder to make her happy!)

    Adjourning A Returning

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (I manage a furniture store. A regular customer is the wife of the owner of several car dealerships in our area. Over the years she has made many purchases, always custom orders from the factory, and not once had accepted the original piece. Sometimes chairs have been reordered multiple times before she would find one she found acceptable. I see her working with one of our designers. After the sale was written, I cringe when I see she has ordered a recliner in the most expensive leather we carry. I decide to develop a plan, as we would never be able to sell this chair if she returned it. On the day of delivery, I approach the drivers.)

    Me: “Bring the chair to the showroom, please.”

    Driver: “But we have this down for delivery.”

    Me: “Please, just bring it in. You’ll see.”

    (The drivers bring it in, and I take a hammer and smash the frame of the swivel base. I then hand the drivers a new swivel base.)

    Me: “Please deliver the chair with the smashed base.”

    (Of course, on delivery, the customer saw the damage and insisted on a new chair. My drivers took the chair to their truck, replaced the damaged base and brought the same chair back into the house. She accepted the chair. That was the first (of many) custom orders she never returned!)

    Knowledge Of Cows Is A Bit Green

    | Madison, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (A customer is looking around.)

    Me: “Ma’am, can I help you look for something?”

    Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for a green leather couch.”

    Me: “At this time, we have sold all of our green leather couches, but we can order one for you.”

    Customer: “I’m not stupid you know. The leather comes in green!”

    Me: “Ma’am, rawhide color of leather is a tanned beige color. It has to be dyed a specific color then it is processed and installed on a frame.”

    Customer: “Are you saying I’m stupid?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. You’re just not gonna find a green cow anywhere!”

    Suffering From Organic Failure

    | ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a photo lab as well as sales. We often get students from the local college picking up their film and photo paper from us since we give specialty bulk deals to students and teachers. One afternoon, I am working the lab on my own when I spot a customer wandering through the paper aisle. She looks confused and slightly annoyed, so I decide to try and help, as the other salespeople are busy.)

    Me: “Hi, there! Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Where do you keep your organic black and white photo paper?”

    Me: “… I’m sorry, organic photo paper?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “As in… black and white darkroom photo paper that is not chemically treated?”

    (I’m confused by this, as photo paper is always chemically treated. Photos are developed in darkrooms through a chemical reaction process.)

    Customer: “Yes. I would like to find some for my Photo 101 class I’m taking this fall. Should be a hoot! I’m vegan, which is why I ask.”

    Me: *dumbfounded* “Right.”

    Customer: “Also, where do you keep…” *checks list* “… darkroom developer and fixer?”

    Me: “On your right, the big brown bottles. They’ll be labeled.”

    (She walks over and finds them. When she reads the labels, she frowns.)

    Customer: “Wait… These have chemicals. I asked for organic ones!”

    Me: “You want organic photo developer and fixer?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why is that so hard to understand?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think you’re a bit ahead of the curve on that front. But if you can be the first to develop it, I’ll be the first in line to buy.”

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