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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Balking At Your Talking

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (It is morning, and all the guests are eating breakfast. Since no one is asking for service, I relax and chat with my coworker. A man and woman come up, with annoyed expressions.)

    Man: “Hey, you!”

    Me: “Yes? Can I help you with something?”

    Man: “Yes! You can help by not talking to your friend!”

    Me: “You mean, my coworker?”

    Woman: “Yes! Her! You’re supposed to work here, not chit chatting! I’ll be telling your manager about you slacking off!”

    Man: “What kind of service is this, where the workers just chatter on?”

    Me: “Well, I was just talking with my coworker here since there was no one in line or at the counter.”

    Man: “No, I don’t want you to do that! It’s very rude!”

    Me: “So…  you don’t want me to talk to my coworker?”

    Woman: “Yes, exactly! You are here to serve us! Nothing else! You hear me?”

    (They storm off, very incensed.)

    Manager: “What was that all about?”

    (They did complain, and their complaints were laughed off.)

    How To Give Someone A God Complex

    | The Philippines | Crazy Requests, Religion

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. [My Name] speaking. Can I have your full name, please?”

    Customer: “[Customer].”

    Me: “Thank you. How can I be of assistance to you today?”

    Customer: “I need you to take of the late fees and overdraft fees off of my account! RIGHT NOW!”

    Me: “Well, I’ll be glad to take a look into your account and review the probability of removing the fees but I’m going to need to review it thoroughly, okay?”

    Customer: “Yeah, whatever.”

    (After a good minute of pause…)

    Me: “I’m sorry Ms. [Customer], but it seems that the charges are all valid; I won’t be able to remove them this time.”

    Customer: “You f****** b****! You had me waiting for 15 long minutes while you were doing your s*** on your computer and now you’re telling me you cannot take these f***** fees off?!”

    (I have her account pulled up and it didn’t take me 15 minutes to see the late and overdraft fees on her account.)

    Me: “I’m sorry this upsets you, ma’am, and as much as I would like to remove these fees for you, I won’t have the capability because our system recognizes valid charges and won’t let us modify it.”

    Customer: “I don’t f****** care! Remove them or I will call the police!”

    Me: “What can the police do?”

    Customer: “You people are stealing my money! I will sue you and your company for this, lady!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration, but we have sent you multiple notices reminding you of your payment and we haven’t received any amount for the past five months. The late fess piled up, over-drafting your account. I really do apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that s***! I f****** want you to f****** remove these fees off of my account! Don’t be stupid! I know you can do it! You just don’t want to, because you are too lazy to do it!”

    Me: “Ms. [Customer], please avoid using profanity. This is a professional institution and we don’t tolerate such language. If it happens again, I will have to disconnect the call.”

    Customer: “F*** you, you f****** b****! Give me your f***** supervisor! Wait, no. I want someone higher that your supervisor: your manager, or your CEO! No, I want the president of your company, or the higher person above your president!”

    (After multiple attempts to calm the customer down and my warnings for her vulgar language, I am kind of ticked off already.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I definitely can hand you over to my supervisor—”

    Customer: “Didn’t you f****** hear me, you s***?! I want the person higher than the president of your company!”

    Me: “I believe that wouldn’t be possible; there is no one higher than the president of this company. He owns the business.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe you! Hand me over to someone higher than him!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you want someone higher than the person who owns this company, then PRAY. Talk to God. He is the highest being you could talk to. You can also ask for forgiveness for that bad language and have Him bless you more for you to have the money to pay for your dues. And since you didn’t listen when I asked you to stay professional, I will now disconnect this call. I hope you have a nice day and thank you for calling [Bank]. Good bye.” *click*

    Medicated And Dedicated

    | Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (It has been a quiet day, and I happen to overhear this conversation between my coworker and the customer. I decided to intervene at one point.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy a packet of [Medication].”

    Coworker: “Sure, what packet size did you want? We have 84, or 168.”

    Customer: “Don’t you have the smaller pack? The 28 pack?”

    Coworker: “Sorry, I don’t think we do. I’ll go check the back if we might have stock.”

    (Whilst my coworker went to the back to check, I decide to converse with the customer to keep the sale.)

    Me: “I’m sorry that we don’t have the smaller pack in stock, but the larger packs do work out cheaper than the small pack in the long run. Especially if you need to take them long term.”

    Customer: *angrily* “I know that! I’d prefer getting the small pack so I know what I’m taking! And I do need to watch what I spend to be able to put food on my plate each month.”

    (My coworker returns.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry but we didn’t have any small packs at the back.”

    Customer: *in a huff* “Oh fine, I’ll just take the 84s.”

    (While my coworker is processing the sale:)

    Customer: “Oh, and these as well.”

    (She placed three chocolate bars on the counter.)

    Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3

    | Cicero, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (After ordering a breakfast sandwich with only sausage and cheese, a customer comes back with said sandwich with a few bites taken.)

    Customer: “I can’t eat this!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Is there a problem with your order?”

    Customer: “I can’t eat meat. I’m allergic.”

    (Confused on why she ordered it in the first place, I offer her something else or her money back.)

    Customer: “Just make me a sandwich with ham and cheese.”

    Me: “Um, you just told me you’re allergic to meats.”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Ham is a meat.”

    Customer: “I’m allergic to that meat.” *points at sandwich*

    Me: “You’re only allergic to that type of sausage?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s why I’m telling you to make me a sandwich with ham instead!”

    Me: “Are you sure you just didn’t like it?”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?!”

    Me: “Well, it’s just that our sausage is made from pork. Now you’re asking for ham.”

    Customer: “What’s your point?”

    Me: “Ham is a pork product. If you eat this, I may have to call a paramedic in due to your throat possibly swelling. We wouldn’t want to risk your life, miss.”

    Customer: “…I didn’t like the sausage.”

    Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2
    Allergic To Common Sense

    Has No Room To Maneuver

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    Lady: “I’d like a room.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we have no more.”

    Lady: “What? WHY NOT?!”

    Me: “Because we have run out of rooms to sell.”

    Lady: “Don’t be smart!”

    Me: “You want me to act dumb?”

    Lady: “No! I want YOU to give ME a room!”

    Me: “Look, we don’t have any more. I don’t know–.”

    Lady: “Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! I come in a hotel, and they don’t have rooms?! What madness is this?”

    Me: “Um—”

    Lady: “The whole POINT of hotels is to have rooms. Otherwise, it’s like me going into a mattress store and they have no mattresses! Or a hardware store and they have no wrenches!”

    Me: “I’m sure that even hardware stores run out of wrenches every once in a while… As for the mattress stores, they have plenty of stock in their warehouse for delivery. We can’t ‘deliver’ rooms and we have no warehouse.”

    Lady: “Stop being an a**!”

    (She ranted and raved about the ‘insane’ idea of a hotel having no rooms, and was eventually escorted off by security, still screaming!)