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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Paying For Their Mistake

    | Albany, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (I work at a fairly well known 50s theme restaurant, where we offer a movie and a meal deal. If you buy an adult entree and drink, then you get a movie ticket for $8. A customer is ordering and asks about the offer.)

    Me: “Just so you know, you do have to order an adult entree for the offer to work.”

    Customer: “Jeez, I know. I want fries and a water, and two kids chocolate shakes, and chicken tenders for them.”

    (I place their order, and when it comes up, I bring it over. They eat it and seem very happy.)

    Customer: “Can I please get my check, and can you get me one of those movie tickets please?”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but since you didn’t get an adult entree and drink, you can’t get a movie ticket for $8.”

    Customer: “I did get an adult drink, water. Kids don’t drink water, and french fries count as an entree in my case.”

    Me: “You have to buy a drink. Water is given out for free. And fries are not an entree. They are an appetizer or side.”

    Customer: “Let me speak to your manager.”

    (The manager comes over. He has observed everything.)

    Customer: “Give me my d*** ticket. She’s stealing from me. She probably did charge me for my ticket, but is being a b**** and refusing to give it to me.”

    Manager: “I can assure you she has not charged you for the ticket because the cash register won’t even allow it to be added unless there is an adult entree and drink. Would you like to order food to go so you can get a ticket?”

    Customer: “What the f***! After such bad service, I am never coming here again!”

    (The customer grabs her two kids, and walks out without paying. A customer who has been watching from the counter area comes over.)

    Customer #2: “Here’s $30 to cover their bill so you don’t have to, and a tip because she didn’t. May I please have my check?”

    (Customer #2 leaves me a sizable tip, and even gives me a compliment. Thank you lady! That check would’ve had to come out my tips!)

    Rent Is More Important

    , | New York, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    Me: “Good afternoon, ticket central.”

    Customer: “Your website is the worst.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, ma’am. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I want help.”

    Me: “Clearly. Would you like me to help you purchase tickets to a specific show?”

    Customer: “Yes. I guess.”

    Me: “What play?”

    Customer:Belleville.”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am. The entire run of Belleville is sold-out.”

    Customer: “No it isn’t.”

    Me: “Yes. It is.”

    Customer: “Says who?”

    Me: “Says me.”

    Customer: “I WANT THOSE TICKETS! I WANT THEM NOW!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there’s nothing I can do. The play is sold-out, and I would suggest that you calm down as tickets to an off-Broadway play aren’t nearly as important as things like a roof over one’s head or food on one’s table.”

    Customer: “MAYBE FOR YOU!” *click*

    No Room For Negotiation

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (My hotel is the only one near a very busy pavilion. During concert season, we book up solid.)

    Me: “Hello. May I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I need a room.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we have no more.”

    Caller: “WHAT! You’re lying.”

    Me: “I’m not.”

    Caller: “Yes, you are. You have rooms left. Aren’t you still waiting on people to show up?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Caller: “Well then, give me their room! I’m here, and they’re not!”

    Me: “I can’t.”

    Caller: “WHY NOT!”

    Me: “Because they’ve reserved that room. I have to hold it for a few more hours. If they still don’t show until then, you may have it.”

    Caller: “That’s stupid! You’re just being mean!”

    Me: “No, what’s ‘mean’ is if I gave you their room that they booked. How would you like it if I gave one of your rooms that you booked?”

    Caller: *blank stare*

    Me: “Exactly…”

    Caller: “You just lost some money!” *storms off*

    (The reservation did show, so we didn’t.)

    Interested In Ply-Red, Not Blood-Red

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am working one day, repackaging some glass bottles of beer where one had shattered, and am knocking off the shards of glass with a safety knife. A customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Hello, I am wondering if you could help me find some three ply red napkins. You have three ply in other colors.”

    Me: “I’m sure we do; I’ll just check the system to find a shelf location and see if we have any in stock.”

    (As I go to put down the bottle I am holding, a shard of glass embeds itself in my hand.)

    Me: “Agh! Sorry, bear with me one second.”

    (I pull the shard out.)

    Me: “Okay, so, three ply red right?”

    Customer: “Sorry, were you helping me, or were you busy tending to your own business? Jesus, I’m here to spend my hard-earned cash, and you can’t even give me the time of day!”

    Doctors Of The Caribbean

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I work at a General Practitioner’s Surgery, and I am taking phone calls from patients.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, can I book a appointment to see one of the doctors this morning?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there is no available appointments with the doctors today. We offer a triage service; if the triage nurse believes so, they can get you a appointment today, is this okay?”

    (The customer says something, but I cant make it out.)

    Me: “I’m sorry but the line seems to be terrible today; can you repeat what you just said?”

    Customer: “Oh, sorry, that’s because I’m on a boat in the Caribbean.”

    (I’m slightly confused at this point, thinking I misheard her.)

    Me: “Can I just check that you said you were in the Caribbean?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m on a cruise, but I’m not feeling well, so I want to see [doctor's name] today. Can I have an appointment to see him in the next few hours?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I cant offer you a appointment with the doctor today, due to all routine appointments being taken, and the fact you will not turn up to the appointment here, as you are hundreds of miles away out of the country.”

    Customer: “But I’m not feeling well! I am a registered patient at your surgery, and I want to see the doctor right now!”

    Me: “As I just said, I cant offer you a appointment that you have no way of turning up to.”

    Customer: “THEN MAKE HIM COME TO ME!”

    Me: “The doctors do try their best to help all patients as needed, but I am afraid asking them to fly over to you in the Caribbean at such short notice is not a feasible option. I suggest you seek the help of the medical facility on board the ship.”

    Customer: “Oh… I didn’t think of that. But when I get back, I’m going to come to the surgery and file a complaint.”


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