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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    The Whole Nine Yards Of Unreason

    | GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (Whilst having an indoor yard sale, I happen to have an open and hours sign from our old store, so I put them up. A customer in a rather nice car pulls up.)

    Customer: “What kind of store is this?”

    Me: ‘It’s a yard sale. I just happen to have the signs and thought they would be funny.”

    Customer: “Oh… okay.”

    (The customer proceeds to browse for a few minutes.)

    Customer: “Is this used?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “How about this? Is this used?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Customer: “WHAT NERVE DO YOU HAVE SELLING USED ITEMS? THIS IS THE WORST STORE I’VE BEEN TO!”

    Me: “This is a yard sale. That’s generally how it works. People sell their used goods.”

    Customer: “I’ve never heard of nonsense like that. Nobody wants someone’s used things. I’m reporting you to the Better Business Bureau!”

    Me: “Go right ahead. Have a nice day.”

    Best To Try To Rise Above It

    , | Portland, ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I am in the middle of a health scare involving my lungs, and my doctor has told me not to use the stairs for more than one flight. I need to be on the fourth floor, so I am waiting for the elevator when a patron storms up to me.)

    Patron: “Excuse me! I don’t know if you read the sign, but it clearly says that this elevator is for handicapped people. Not people who are just too lazy to use the stairs.”

    Me: “…I beg your pardon?”

    Patron: “You need to leave the elevator for the people who really need it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I need the elevator.”

    Patron: “That’s bulls***.”

    Me: “Look, lady. One of my LUNGS is not functioning right now, and my doctor has told me that I’m not allowed to take the stairs.”

    Patron: “Your doctor is too easy on you!”

    Hasn’t Got A Mind For Business

    | Draper, UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a call center for a website that sells musical equipment. A customer has called in with a complaint. He places an order for a pair of powered speakers. There is also a canceled order for a different pair of powered speakers. Apparently, the wrong set of speakers was canceled and the customer is very upset that he received the wrong speakers. I immediately set up a return/exchange for him so he could get the speakers he wanted. For some reason, he was also under the impression that the price he was quoted for the second set of speakers was for the speakers and a wireless microphone. Unfortunately, it was just for the speakers.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the price you were quoted is only for the set of speakers. If you want to add the wireless microphone to the order, it will be [price].”

    Caller: “That’s not right. I was quoted [price of speakers] before! I want that price!”

    Me: “I do apologize, sir. I can’t get you that price. You need to pay for the microphone before we can send it to you.”

    Caller: “I already paid for it! It was on the order with the other speakers!”

    Me: “That order was canceled, sir. We didn’t take any money from you for that order.”

    Caller: “You’re wrong. I paid for that.”

    Me: “No, sir. You didn’t. The order was canceled. We legally cannot take money from you until we ship something out. Since that order was canceled, it was never sent out. You did not pay for that order. If you would like to add the wireless microphone, your order total will be [price].”

    Caller: “NO, IT’S NOT! YOU’RE WRONG! NOW SEND ME WHAT I BOUGHT!”

    Me: “You didn’t buy them! The order was canceled!”

    Caller: “That’s not my fault! I shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s mistake!”

    Me: “I apologize, sir. It is our fault, but we can’t just send you the microphone for free.”

    Caller: “I don’t want it for free! I want it at the price I was given!”

    Me: “To get it to that price, I would need to send it to you for free. I cannot do that.”

    Caller: “That’s not my fault. It’s not my problem. I shouldn’t have to eat that money. It’s your mistake! Now give me what I paid for, d*** it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you did not pay for those items. We will not send them to you. The order was canceled, so you did NOT pay for those.”

    Caller: “Well, in my mind, I did!”

    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 11

    , | Red Deer, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am taking orders on drive thru.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hey! So, I hear you guys have hickory-smoked bacon! This is true, right? You have bacon?”

    Me: “Yes, we do. It can be added to any sandwich or baked goo—”

    Customer: “No, no, I just want bacon. Bacon!”

    Me: “Just bacon alone?”

    Customer: “Yeah! Lots of bacon!”

    Me: “So, would 10 slices be okay?”

    Customer: “No, make it 20! 30! Lots of bacon!”

    (I give him his total and he drives up to the window. I go wait by soup and sandwich for his order to be ready.)

    Coworker: “30 slices of bacon on the side? On the side of what?”

    Me: “…Just bacon. 30 slices of bacon.”

    (My coworker stares blankly at me before wrapping 30 slices of bacon in a sandwich bag and giving it to me, shaking her head. I take the bacon to the window and my other coworker gives it to him.)

    Customer: “Thanks, man! Gotta have my bacon!” *drives off*

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    Got Their Cables Crossed

    | AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I work in tech support for a national car insurance company.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] auto insurance tech support. My name is [Name]. How can we help today?”

    Caller: “Yeah. I need to know why the repairman hasn’t arrived yet to look at my cable box. I’m still not getting any of my channels right now.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ve reached [Company] auto insurance. It appears you have the wrong number.”

    Caller: “I know that. I don’t even have a car. This was the only number for [Company Name] I could find.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but again this is [Company] auto insurance. We are not your cable television provider. You may need to double-check the number you dialed.”

    Caller: “Look, just give me their correct number already! They hung up on me last time I called, and I need to get my cable back on now.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry, but we are not affiliated with your cable provider and do not have information on their contact numbers. You may want check the phone book or possibly your most recent billing statement or other mailing. I know my cable provider has their number plastered all over the mails and bills they send to me. Yours may have a similar practice.”

    Caller: “Look, why are you making this so d*** difficult?! I don’t want your d*** insurance! I don’t have a d*** car, so I don’t need it! Just give me the d*** number so I can get someone out here to fix my cable box!”

    (This back and forth continues for several more minutes with the caller confirming she is completely aware she’s called the wrong company, but expects us to provide her with the right contact info.)

    Me: “Again, ma’am, this is [Company] AUTO INSURANCE. We provide CAR INSURANCE. We do not have anything to do with cable television, satellite television, television of any kind or any other type of service other than CAR INSURANCE. We can’t give you the number for your cable repair, because we are not that company. We do not have contact information for other companies except for those involved with our CAR INSURANCE policies or the DMV for your state for concerns with your driving record. You’ve dialed… the wrong… number.”

    Caller: “Don’t condescend to me you little s***. I demand to speak with your supervisor right now!”

    Me: “I apologize ma’am, but the supervisors here at [Company] INSURANCE will only speak with callers who have legitimate concerns regarding some aspect of their CAR INSURANCE policy with us. As you are not a [Company] INSURANCE policy holder and do not have a concern regarding our INSURANCE services, I will not be able to transfer you to a supervisor. Again, ma’am, I advise you to re-check the number you have dialed or take one of the many suggestions I have offered to locate the correct company regarding your cable service.”

    Caller: “How dare you treat your customers in this manner!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you have repeatedly confirmed that you are not, in fact, a customer of [Company] AUTO INSURANCE. I have attempted multiple times to explain that you have dialed the wrong number and have reached the wrong company. You need assistance fixing your cable television service. However you have called a car insurance company. We simply cannot help you with this.”

    (My supervisor has noticed I have been on a call for much longer than usual, and has been listening for the past few minutes. He decides to jump in.)

    Supervisor: “Hello, ma’am. This is [Name], a supervisor here at [Company] auto insurance. I have been monitoring the call.”

    Caller: “Oh, finally. Maybe I can get some actual help now instead of dealing with this useless—”

    Supervisor: “—and you really need to hang up and call the right number.”

    Caller: “WHAT?!”

    Supervisor: “Unfortunately, you’re either being willfully obstinate and called solely to waste the valuable time of my techs, or you are so painfully stupid that you can’t comprehend the simple concept of a wrong number. Frankly, I don’t care which one it is at this point. What you are doing now is the same as calling McDonald’s restaurant to complain about Joe McDonald’s Plumbing not coming to fix your sink.”

    Caller: “How dare you! I demand—”

    Supervisor: “You can demand all you want, but this call is over, lady.”

    Caller: “I will not stand for this type of treatment. I will be cancelling my service and never use you again.”

    Supervisor: “Good luck with that, since I imagine to cancel your cable service you’d still have to actually call the right number.” *click*

    (The supervisor comes over to my desk chuckling and shaking his head. He takes me off the phones and we are chit chatting. A few minutes later, one of the new techs walks up to us looking nervous.)

    New Guy: “Um, I’ve got this really pissed-off lady demanding a supervisor to give her the number for her cable company. And she just starts screaming at me when I tell her this she has the wrong number.”

    (The supervisor grabs the new guy’s headset right there and takes it off hold.)

    Supervisor: “This is still an insurance company, lady. You’re still calling the wrong company. Get your s*** together and stop bugging us.” *click*

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