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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Common Sense Is In The Bag

    | Selangor, Malaysia | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (An in-house guest walks back into the hotel lobby.)

    Guest: “I demand to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am. I’ll call the manager now.”

    (The manager comes down to the lobby.)

    Manager: “Yes? How can I assist you, ma’am?”

    Guest: “I would like to claim MYR5000 from the hotel for the loss of my bag!”

    Manager: “I am sorry, but when did this happen and where was the last place you kept the bag?”

    Guest: “No. I just bought the bag from the mall and it was snatched by a motorist on my way back. It cost me MYR5000 for the bag. Now it is stolen so the hotel must pay me back!”

    Manager: “I am sorry, ma’am. Would you like to lodge a police report?”

    Guest: “No. Just pay me my money back.”

    Manager: “I am sorry again, ma’am. But the loss of the bag is not the responsibility of the hotel as it happened outside the hotel premises. However, we can send you to the nearest hospital for a check-up if you need it, or the police station to file a report. We are sorry for the loss, but we cannot pay you for something that is not taken by the hotel or our staff.”

    Guest: “But I am your guest and I lost a bag. How is that not your responsibility? I am never coming back and I will tell all my friends and family about your poor attitude!”

    Not Being Very Adult About It

    | Pasadena, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at an adult themed store. We close at 10 pm and I have just locked the doors. I have two friends waiting for me in the parking lot, and we start having a conversation. Before we know it, we have been standing around talking for two hours, when a guy in a truck pulls up and gets out of his car.)

    Customer: *pulling on door* “Aw, are you guys closed?”

    Me: “Yeah, we closed two hours ago.”

    Customer: “Well, can you open real quick? I need to buy something.”

    Me: “No, we closed two hours ago. If it was really important you would have come in earlier.”

    Customer: “But it IS important! You should open and let me buy something!”

    Me: “Dude, this is a PORN store. It’s not life threatening, so, no I will not be opening. Buy your sexy-time things elsewhere.”

    Customer: *slinks off embarrassed*

    This Caller Has Been Barred

    | CO, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m the night auditor. It’s about 3 am and the phone rings.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I just wanted to check rates for these dates.”

    Me: “Absolutely. We have two queens or a king for these prices.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. What is there to do in the area?”

    Me: “We’re popular for our hiking trails and outdoor activities, as well as our variety of small breweries—”

    Caller: “Are there any gay bars?”

    Me: “Not that I know of.”

    Caller: “What?! No gay bars?!”

    Me: “I’m afraid not.”

    Caller: “Well… where do you go?”

    Me: “To… the regular bars?”

    Caller: “Okay, because I got a couple of lesbians coming there for their honeymoon.”

    Me: “Well, I assure you there are plenty of bars to choose from. So, how many nights shall I book you for?”

    Caller: “Oh, I’ll have to talk to them.” *click*

    (He called and had the exact same conversation with me three more times in two weeks before getting my manager, who told him he needed to stop harassing me.)

    Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers

    | Norway | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (When I was born, there were serious complications, and doctors had to step in to keep both me and my mother alive. They tore all my muscles and damaged a lot of nerves in my neck. I went to a physical therapist for many years. I hardly ever notice it now, 20 years later, but once in a while, after lifting heavy items for a long period of time, my back acts up and it hurts a lot. All of my coworkers know this, and despite this, I’m a very hard worker. A customer in his 40s walks in, skips right across the line, and to me, where I’m currently working on a problem with a coffee machine. He sets an empty can of gas, the steel type, down on the floor next to me. I have equipment all over the counter and floor, trying to figure out the problem with the machine. It is also worth mentioning that I live in a small town, where everyone knows everyone. I have hardly ever dealt with rude customers because of this, and it’s well known that we can take abuse until a certain point.)

    Customer: “I need you to go out to your gas cabinet and fetch me a new one of these.”

    Me: “Sure, let me just clean up a little here.”

    Customer: “Do you think I have time for that?! Do you know who I am? I have other places to be!”

    Me: “All right, then.”

    (I shuffle all the pieces and tubes onto the counter, hoping no one will brush them off and step on them. I run out to the cabinet, open the lock, grab a new can, and head back inside. Right as I walk into the store, I get insanely painful cramps in my back, I manage to scoot over to the customer and set the can down, obviously in pain, but I smile and shrug it off to my coworkers.)

    Customer: “You teens are so useless these days! All you do is stare at your phones and your computers! Look at you, you can’t even carry a can of gas! You’re all useless! Now hurry up, for f*** sake! I’m going to a very important job interview over at [local entrepreneur, with the owner’s name as a company name]!”

    (The other customers have been startled at his behavior by now, but at the mentioning of said company, many of them snicker.)

    Me: “You know what? My neck was nearly broken when I was born. I have worked at [Gas Station] for three years, and never have I had a more rude and pretentious customer than you. I want you to calm down so we can finish this transaction. You’re startling the other customers.”

    Customer: “Does it look like I give a s***!?”

    Me: “That’s it.”

    (I pick up the phone and dial a number. My boss is looking at me with approval.)

    Me: *on the phone* “Hey, Dad, I want you to know there’s a man in his 40s, drives a green Honda CRV, who said he’s heading over for an interview with you today. He has been a real pain in the butt, and if you hire him, I’m not giving you grandchildren.”

    (The customer’s face goes pale. He looks at me, the other customers who are now laughing at him, and scurries out the door, leaving both his old and the new can behind. My dad didn’t hire him, either.)

    Her Logic Isn’t Adding Up

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Math & Science

    Me: “All right, your total comes to $26.48. Will that be cash, check, or card?”

    Customer: “Card, please.”

    (We finish the transaction. When I hand the customer her receipt, she squints suspiciously at it.)

    Me: “… Um, is something the matter?”

    Customer: “That doesn’t sound right. It’s too high. You must have overcharged me.”

    Me: “Well, let’s take a look at your receipt. This item was about $10, these two were $5, this was $3, and this was $1. And there was sales tax, too. It can add up quickly.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe your math. You overcharged me! This is way too much for what I bought.”

    (I pull out a calculator and add each item’s exact price together. I also calculate sales tax and add that to the total, which comes out to $26.48, the exact amount she paid.)

    Customer: “No, you added wrong! I don’t believe your math!”

    (I add everything again, slower.)

    Customer: “I don’t believe your math!”

    Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. I’ve just proved to you that I charged you the correct price. If you’re not happy with your purchases, you can return them here.”

    Customer: “No, I need these things. I’ll take them even though you overcharged me!”

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