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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    The Dimmest Thing In The Store

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer is standing in front of the sake in a corner of our store. My coworker approaches her.)

    Coworker: “Can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: “Do you think this sake is, you know, safe to drink?”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, safe to drink? I assume it’s gone through the proper processing procedures.”

    Customer: “I mean… was this sake affected by the tsunami that hit Japan?”

    (My coworker realizes she’s alluding to the power plants that were hit by the tsunami, and the possibility that the sake is radioactive.)

    Coworker: *jokingly* “Well, if you take it home, and it starts to glow in the dark, I’d suggest you don’t drink it.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay!”

    (My coworker walks away. After a couple of minutes, my manager and I glance over to see the lady cupping the bottle in her hands. She is trying to make it dark enough to see if it will glow in the dark!)

    They Are Tea Total, Part 2

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’d like an iced coffee with milk, with no coffee in it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Did you want a decaffeinated iced coffee?”

    Customer: “No, I just hate the taste of coffee. I want an iced coffee with milk, but hold the coffee.”

    Me: “So, would you like milk and ice?”

    Customer: “No, I want it without coffee. I have it all the time. It’s brown, and kind of sweet.”

    Me: “Tea?”

    Customer: “Yes! How did you not understand that?”

    Related:
    He Is Tea Total

    Sold-Out Flip-Out

    | MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Technology, Top

    (We have started carrying a very popular toy line. We run out as soon as each shipment comes in.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, I’d like to pick up [newest figure in the line], for my son.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’re sold out of that one right now. We have another shipment coming in tomorrow. If you’d like to call in the morning, you can check then.”

    Customer #1: “F****** ridiculous! Do you idiots think that this is a proper business model? I know that you have tons of them in the back room. You just put them out a few at a time to create demand!”

    Me: “Trust me! With how fast this series is selling, we would put them on the shelves the moment we could.”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, whatever. And they’re more expensive here than at [competing toy chain] anyway. Also, your displays are too confusing. And these video game displays are nothing but naked girls and guns! This place is disgusting! What message are you trying to send?!”

    (Another customer intervenes.)

    Customer #2: “This is a nation-wide company with thousands of stores. He’s standing behind the cash register on Tuesday night. No offense to him, but even if there was a corporate-wide toy conspiracy, does he look like he’d be in on it?”

    Customer #1: “Still, I’m just… whatever. Idiotic place!”

    (Customer #1 leaves in a huff.)

    Customer #2: “Sorry, I don’t mean to imply that you’re not important.”

    Me: “Oh, you don’t have to apologize. That made my night. Would you like a free poster?”

    In Uniform, Out Of Work

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I walk into a store without realizing I am wearing khakis and a red polo; they are the store’s uniform colors. A middle aged lady stops me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me where to find the lamps?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “Don’t you lie to me! You are still wearing your uniform! Obviously you work here!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this just happens to be what I wore today.”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! I can’t believe you would treat a customer like this.”

    (A manager walks up, focused on the yelling customer.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I demand you fire this employee! He is refusing to help me!”

    (The manager turns to talk to me. I see the surprise on his face, due to the fact that I am not one of his employees.)

    Manager: “Is it true that you refused to help this woman?”

    Me: “Yeah, I suppose…”

    Manager: “Alright then, you’re fired.”

    Me: “D*** man! Really?”

    Manager: “Yes.”

    (He turns back to the lady.)

    Manager: “The lamps are over there, ma’am. I will personally take care of this troublemaker.”

    (As the lady smugly walks off, he turns back to me.)

    Manager: “Sorry about that. You don’t actually work here do you?”

    Me: “Nope. You just fired me.”

    (We share a laugh, and he takes me to the attached coffee house to buy me a drink.)

    Crazy Just Got To Another Level

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I am handling a sales order with a customer. An older lady taps me on the shoulder.)

    Customer: “I can’t find your elevator anywhere!”

    Me: “It’s a one story building. I am afraid we don’t have one.”

    Customer: “That’s horrible! My knees are so bad! I just can’t handle the stairs!”

    Me: “We… don’t have stairs.”

    (As I am replying, she has turned and walked away. About a week later, I get a call…)

    State Employee: “I am calling to investigate a complaint we received that your store is violating ADA. Is it true you don’t have an elevator?”

    Me: “Yes. I don’t have a second floor or stairs either.”

    State Employee: “So, I just file this under ‘crazy’… gotcha.”


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