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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    I Do Work Here, Does Not Work Here

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers

    (It is Valentine’s Day, and I work at one of the more popular restaurants in the city. When I arrive to start my shift, there is a long line of couples coming out of the doors. I am clearly in my work uniform, and I approach the door to start my shift. The first customer in line throws his hand in front of me to block the door.)

    Customer #1: “Whoa, man, can you not see the line?”

    Me: “Excuse me? No, sorry, sir, I work here.”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, nice try. Back of the line.”

    Me: “Sir, I clearly work here, as you can see by my uniform and name tag. If you don’t mind, my shift starts in a few minutes and I’d rather not be late.”

    Customer #1′s Girlfriend: “Look, buddy, we’ve been waiting here for 30 minutes. No silly costume is gonna get you in ahead of me.”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, my girl deserves the best, so don’t think you’re gonna take it away from her on Valentine’s Day. So why don’t you just go and wait like the rest of us before I f*** you up!”

    Me: “Look, sir, I don’t understand why you don’t believe me, but I really do work here and I’m meant to be inside right now! Can you please just let me go to work?”

    (Customer #2, standing in line behind Customer #1, decides to chime in.)

    Customer #2: “Look, mate, he’s made it quite clear to you that he works here. Why don’t you just let him through?”

    (Note: Customer #1 is clearly a good few inches taller and more muscular than Customer #2.)

    Customer #1: “Excuse me? Did you really want to get involved?”

    Customer #2: “Uh, no! Sorry!” *to me* “Sorry, mate, I tried.”

    (At this point, I am already a good few minutes late, and my phone starts to ring.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Manager: “[Name], where the h*** are you? One of the busiest nights of the year and you choose to be late now?”

    Me: “I’m right outside. I have been for ten minutes, but this customer won’t let me through because he doesn’t believe I work here!”

    Manager: “What?! Hang on.”

    (My manager hangs up and comes outside to find me barricaded by the customers. He looks at me, but points at Customer #1 and his girlfriend.)

    Manager: “Is this them?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Manager: “Look, do you want to explain to me why you’ve made my best worker late?”

    Customer #1: “What? He doesn’t actually work here, does he?”

    Manager: “I don’t want to deal with this tonight. Take your girlfriend and leave. There’s no chance of you getting a table after all this. [Name], come inside and I’ll check the tapes later so I don’t have to mark you late.”

    (Customer #1 and his girlfriend are banned from the restaurant. Even better, Customer #2 ended up giving me a huge tip!)

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 12
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

    Fast Food And Speed Dating

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Love/Romance

    Me: “Okay, you want a hamburger, hold the onions, with mustard and regular fries.”

    Customer: “That’s right.”

    Me: “Can I have a date?”

    Customer: “Oh no, you’re much too old for me.”

    Me: “A birth date. So we can call out your order. Like October 22nd?”

    (After the customer leaves, the owner turns to me.)

    Owner: “She could have at least lied and said she was already with someone.”

    Needs A Crash Course In Common Sense

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (A customer is involved in a minor collision outside the restaurant, which blocks the narrow road. I go out to help and see that there is glass all over the road. I check to see if both parties are okay. While I talk to them, a car pulls up behind them.)

    Me: “Sir, are you okay, are you hurt? Stay there while I call an ambulance.”

    Driver #1: “I’m fine thanks, just a bit shaken up.”

    Driver #2: “I’m not hurt either, but my windscreen is shattered and we’ll need to call the insurance company.”

    (As Driver #2 goes to carry on speaking, the third driver in the car behind butts in.)

    Driver #3: “Excuse me, are you guys going to just sit there all day? I have an appointment to get to and you’re not going to make me late!”

    Me: “Sorry, but as you can see there has been an accident and I need to check if these people are hurt, and then we will need to move the cars and clear up the glass.”

    Driver #3: “How dare you make me late. This is so inconsiderate of your restaurant to allow these people to crash on this road!”

    Me: “Well you need to turn around and go the other way, because these people’s needs are much greater than yours right now. And what was the restaurant supposed to do, make them crash in the car park?”

    Driver #3: “YES! This is completely ridiculous!”

    Loyal Spoil

    | MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I want to order this product. Since I’m a loyal customer, can I have free shipping?”

    Me: “No, I apologize that free shipping is only on select products, and those products are advertised as such on the website.”

    Customer: “But, [Competitor] has a similar product with free shipping. Can you make an exception?”

    Me: “No, I apologize that I can’t.”

    Customer: “Guess I’m going to [Competitor] then!”

    Me: “Thank you for being a ‘loyal’ customer!”

    Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 3

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (The store is small and only has four cash registers. Three are open, and I am at the fourth doing a return for a customer, Customer #1.)

    Me: “…and here’s your change. Sorry that the bread was bad.”

    Customer #1: “No worries, these things happen.”

    (Suddenly, another customer, Customer #2, with a full cart appears and starts unloading onto the till conveyer belt. Note that my light is off and there’s a ‘Closed’ sign on the belt.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry sir, but my till is closed.”

    Customer #2: “Too f***ing bad.”

    Me: “…Beg pardon?”

    Customer #2: “Just put me the f*** through so I can go home!”

    (I look at the other tills. All are open, with no other customers at any of them.)

    Me: “I’m not actually a cashier; I’m just the closing manager. I have other things to do, so I really do need you to go to another till.”

    Customer #2: *still unloading* “Listen, you little s***! I’ll f***ing choose the godd*** till I f***ing want!”

    (I’m totally speechless at Customer #2′s behavior, but thankfully Customer #1 intervenes.)

    Customer #1: “Excuse me, but what the h*** is your problem? He’s given you a good reason why he can’t put you through this till, and you’re blatantly ignoring it while being incredibly rude.”

    Customer #2: “All those other tills are too far away!”

    Me: “The next till is three feet over…”

    (Thankfully, in the end he did move.)

    Related:
    Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 2
    Lack of Register Does Not Register


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