Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Should Have Been Carted Away

| Cedar Hill, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(The woman currently being served has a shopping cart PILED with food, clothes and toiletries, but most of it has been rung up and bagged, so I think she is almost done. However, the next man in line, cart about 2/3 full, turns out to be her adult son, and his cart is added to her purchases. No problem, I think; only one payment to process instead of two, this will be even faster. Then the trouble begins.)

Cashier: “Your total is [nearly $900].”

Customer: “Okay.” *swipes card*

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, it’s declined.”

Customer: “Try it again!”

Cashier: *does so* “Hmm, declined. Do you have another card?”

Customer: “No, I know there’s money on that card! You’re not doing it right!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, sometimes the machine doesn’t read the strip. Let me type your number in manually… No, I’m sorry, it’s still declined. Do you have another method of payment, like a check?”

Customer: “Who writes checks anymore? I got this check CARD! That’s what it’s for!”

Cashier: “How about a credit card? Visa, Mastercard, Amex—”

Customer: “No, credit cards are a scam. Are you saying I don’t have any money? I HAVE MONEY!” *waving debit card*

Cashier: “It doesn’t tell me why it’s declined, ma’am, just that it is. There’s an ATM right there, if you’d like to step out of line and verify your balance while I ring up the next person—”

Customer: “NO! You’re helping ME! Don’t you move!”

(She has her adult son stand behind her carts so I can’t move up to the scanner belt. The cashier sighs, and shoots me an ‘I’m sorry’ look. The customer goes over to ATM and fiddles around for a few minutes, then gets on her cell phone to the bank but is stymied by the automated prompts. I think this surely can’t go on much longer, as we’re approaching the 15-minute mark for her transaction.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, if you can’t pay at this time, I need you to move aside and let other customers through. I can suspend your transaction so we won’t have to ring everything up again when you have your payment ready.”

Customer: “NO. I have money on this card! I always use this card here, and you always give me trouble about it!”

Cashier: “Do you have another card I can try? Or possibly you could remove some items from your transaction and try again with a lower total—”

Customer: “NO! I need all this stuff! And I always pay with THIS CARD! I’m not on welfare. I have money! Why won’t you take my card?!”

(The cashier summons a manager, who tells the woman the same thing; if she doesn’t have a working debit card or other form of payment, she will have to leave her two full carts of bagged items and come back when she can pay.)

Customer: “…and THAT is why I always carry cash!”

(She whipped out a huge roll of bills and peeled off the required amount, with plenty left over, then strolled out with her son and their two shopping carts as every employee and customer in earshot stood with jaws on the floor.)

Happy Hypocritical Holidays!

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(I’m waiting for a supermarket to open. It’s a public holiday and so the opening hours are a bit different to normal.)

Lady: “Why is it taking so long to open?”

Me: “It’s a public holiday. They open later than normal.”

Lady: “But it’s a Monday! They should be opening at regular time. I’ve been here almost an hour!”

Me: “So you’re going to work today?”

Lady: “Pfft, no, it’s a holiday. No one works on holidays.”

His Behavior Is Not Up To Scratch

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I’m ringing up a customer who is purchasing a replacement copy for a game that stopped working.)

Customer: “Yeah, this game just stopped working. It looks fine, though.”

Me: “We can get you another, but let me see if we can trade the defective copy towards the new copy.”

(I look the disc over, which has been scratched beyond belief, the is even marks around the center of the disc as if someone were trying to carve circles around it with a razor, but didn’t have a steady hand.)

Me: “It looks like someone intentionally scratched it to a point where it is not repairable.”

Customer: “That’s fine, we bought it at another store a week ago.”

Me: “We won’t be able to exchange it, if something like that happens to this copy.”

(I grab our last copy of the game for him, which he inspects.)

Customer: “Why would you even try to sell this. This looks like garbage.”

Me: “Sir, there’s just a fingerprint on it. It’s in far better condition than the one you had.”

Customer: “Well, you’d best find another one, because I won’t buy this.”

(After cleaning the fingerprint off and replacing the disc back in this case he purchased it and left. He returned a week later with a copy in the same condition as the one he was originally replacing. Turns out his kid was carving into the discs with a knife, and he had brought the kid in to make him pay $50 for the last copy, and pay his father back by trading his other games. Sweet justice.)

Next Door Chore

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Hi, I bought these tweezers but the light doesn’t work. I want a refund.”

Me: “Sure, do you have your receipt?

Customer: *hands me a [Grocery Store] receipt*

Me: “Oh, looks like you bought this at [Grocery Store].”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “This isn’t [Grocery Store]. That’s next door.”

Customer: *angry* “Well, NOW what do I do?!”

Me: “… Go next door and get a refund?”

Customer: “Well! This is highly inconvenient!”

Doesn’t Know How To Window Shop

| England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I work in a bargains store where people can get almost anything for less than the RRP. An elderly customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Will these curtains fit my window?”

Me: “What size is the window you’re buying for?”

Customer: “Living room.”

Me: “No, sorry I mean like what are the measurements for it?”

Customer: “It’s a normal front living room window.”

Me: “Every window is different. These ones you’ve picked out are 90″x90″, so they would fit a fairly large window. Do you know the size in inches, or even centimetres? We can work from there.”

Customer: “No, but it’s the same size window as everyone else on my street, so I think it’ll be the same for everywhere. Would they fit your window?”

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