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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Getting The Booking Is A Bumpy Ride

    | ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work as a front desk agent at a hotel near very upper crust college. Parents’ weekend comes by, and all area hotels are long sold out. A man approaches my desk:)

    Guest: “Hi, I have a reservation for Mr. and Mrs. [Name].”

    Me: “Yes, you do.” *though I burn inside because this guest has used his Diamond status to bump another guest reservation out so he could get a room* “Let me check you in.”

    Guest: “Thank you. And I also have a room for my parents, Mr. and Mrs. [Other Name].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there is no reservation. And all area hotels are sold out.”

    Guest: “What? This is not right. Let me see your computer.”

    Me: “I cannot do that but I assure you there is no reservation.”


    (Our manager arrives, and using his skill and access calls the Diamond Guest Service Number. He then turns back to the guest and tries to suppress a smile.)

    Manager: “It seems you did make a reservation here for your parents.”

    Guest: “Thank you! Finally, some intelligence.”

    Manager: “However, per the agreed on policy for Diamond guests, you are only allowed one room reservation where you bump a previously reserved guest. Since you made your reservation after you made your parents’, you bumped them out.”

    Guest: “Fine! I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

    Manager: “Of course. But we will charge you for your room anyway as you did not cancel in the allotted time.”

    This Flowered Into Nothing

    | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (It is pouring down rain, and I’m called outside to help a customer in the garden area. I get soaked within seconds, and find an elderly woman gazing at hanging baskets.)

    Woman: “I’m looking for flowers to refill my hanging basket.”

    Me: “Well, we have a large variety of flowers right now. All would look lovely in a basket, or we have the pre-filled baskets ready to go and in bloom.”

    Woman: “I want the same thing I got last year.” *looks at me expectantly*

    Me: “Uh… did you get it here? Perhaps a fuchsia?”

    (At this point I am shaking from cold and wondering what exactly she wants from me.)

    Woman: “Just grab the one I bought last year. I don’t know where I got it, but I want the same one.

    Me: I’m sorry; I don’t know what you had last year. Do any of these flowers look familiar?”

    Woman: “Oh, I don’t know. Why can’t you remember what I bought? I just want the same flowers! Just help me!”

    Me: *desperate to leave* “I think you bought fuchsias last year! Right here!” *shows her the plant*

    Woman: “Oh, yes, thank you! Oh, those are much too expensive. Well, have a good day!”

    (She bought nothing, took 15 minutes of my day, and left me sopping wet and freezing. I love customer service.)

    If It Ain’t Broke, Book It!

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    (This conversation takes place over the messaging system on my website.)

    Customer: “Hi. Are you available to come out to [Place approx 50 minutes from where I am located] to take some photos of my car club’s meet up?”

    Me: “Hi, there. What date are you having the meet up?”

    Customer: “The 18th of this month. How much will it cost?”

    Me: “Yes, I am free then. Cost will depend on how many hours you require me to be there, All your photos are included in the price and will be edited and placed on either USB or disk for you.”

    Customer: “Um, I don’t know. A couple of hours or so.”

    Me: “Okay, well, the best deal I can give you is $[total] for the first hour and $[other amount] for every half hour after that. The travel costs are included in the first hour.”

    Customer: “Oh, I can’t afford that; I’m a bit broke at the moment.”

    Me: That’s fine. Unfortunately, I cannot lower the price anymore. However, if you do change your mind let me know and I would be happy to schedule you in.

    Customer: “Bummer, Do you have a camera I could just borrow for the day? I won’t wreck it or anything.”

    Me: “I am sorry, but I cannot lend my equipment out.”

    Customer: “I will be real careful; I could even give you a $20 bond.”

    Me: “No, sorry. I am unable to do that, maybe you could ask a friend to borrow their camera.”

    Customer: “Nah, they are broke, too.”

    Me: “Okay, then. If you change your mind about scheduling in with me let me know. Have a nice day.” *bangs head on desk*

    Customers Of Substance

    | Tallahassee, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (I clean up the table after a group of boys leave. I look on the floor and see a bag of illegal substance. I give it to the manager and she calls the police. After the police leave, one of the boys comes back in and walks to their same table trying to find something.)

    Me: *to customer* “It’s not there anymore.”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I have that back?”

    Me: “Sir, I gave it to the police.”

    Customer: “So, I can’t have it back?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Well, it’s not mine anyway. It’s my friend’s.”

    Me: “You came back to claim something illegal that’s not even yours…”

    Customer: “Yeah…”

    Me: “You should probably leave before the police come back.”

    (My coworkers and I couldn’t stop laughing about it all night! Silly college students!)

    Serving By The Seat Of His Pants

    | PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I have a regular customer who comes into the customer service desk where I work. He always needs help with the ATM. He’s a strange little fellow, always smells of beer and slurs his words. I am working on some paperwork when he comes in.)

    Customer: “He-hey, hey, you’re the lady who helped me earlier right?”

    Me: “Yes, is something wrong?”

    (I had helped him with the ATM then did an exchange. He had gotten the wrong ice cream.)

    Customer: “No, I was just wondering if you’d do me a favor?”

    Me: “What do you need? I’ll try my best to help.”

    Customer: “If I give you $40 will you take these pants back to the store for me and get me a smaller size?”

    Me: “Uhm, no. I don’t get off work until seven so I don’t think I’ll be able to get there.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. It’s okay. They don’t close until nine; you have plenty of time.”

    Me: “I’m still going to say no. Sorry.”

    Customer: “You’re saying no.”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s a no.”

    (He walked away without saying anything. My coworker and I just looked at each other like we both imagined it.)

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