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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    All Computers Come With Cache

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “How do I get money out of this account?”

    Coworker: “It’s an internet based savings account. You can transfer money from it online.”

    Customer: “Can’t I get it from a tray in my computer?”

    Coworker: *trying not to laugh* “Unfortunately that’s not a facility on your account.”

    Customer: “Well, it looks like I’ll have to change banks!”

    The Lawsuit Has A Ghost Of A Chance

    | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m just coming on shift in the emergency room. A patient approaches my desk, then leans over and glares down at me.)

    Patient: “I just want you to know that if I go home and die because of your substandard care that I’m going to sue you and never forgive the hospital.”

    (The patient doesn’t give me any chance to say anything before he walks out the door.)

    Coworker: “I wonder how many lawyers take on angry ghosts as clients?”

    About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 4

    | Stuart, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Technology, Transportation

    (I work for a national electronics retail chain as a manager. I have one other employee working for me this night.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a new battery for my car’s remote.”

    Me: “Okay. Let’s take a look.”

    (The customer hands me the remote, I take it from her and quickly open it using a tool I keep on the counter. I find that the remote actually takes two button batteries, which is nothing unusual. I take them out and put them on the counter. I turn around and see I only have two left. I pull them off the rack, open one and put it in the remote. I go to open the second one and the customer stops me and snatches the still sealed battery out of my hand.)

    Customer: “What is this?”

    Me: “It’s one of the batteries you need for your remote.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    (I show her the numbers on the old batteries and new ones match.)

    Customer: “There’s two of them?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Where’s the other one?”

    Me: *I point to the battery in the remote* “I already installed it.”

    Customer: “I didn’t see you do that. Where did it come from?”

    Me: *I pick up the now empty battery package* “I just installed it.”

    Customer: “I want to see you install it.”

    Me: “You want me to take it out and put it back in?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    (I take the new battery back out and put it back in.)

    Customer: “NO! I want to see you open it!”

    Me: “You want me to seal the package then open it again?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the packages come glued closed from the factory. I can’t re-seal it.”

    Customer: “Then get another one!”

    (At this point, I can tell the customer is going to be unreasonable but I do my best to keep my composure while my employee silently stands next to me observing.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I only have two left. One is already in your remote and the other one is in your hand.”

    Customer: “Listen to me you little p****! You don’t be condescending to me! Do what I tell you or I’m gonna complain to your f****** boss!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager and I am trying to help you. There’s no need for name calling.”

    Customer: “DON’T YOU F****** TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, YOU MORON! THERE’S NO WAY YOU’RE THE BOSS HERE! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SUPERIOR!”

    (At this point, the customer is unreasonably irate. I decide that $5 worth of batteries is not worth raising my blood pressure. I take out the new battery and re-install her old ones then close the remote.)

    Me: “Here you go, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

    Customer: “YOU PUT THE NEW ONES IN?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I put your old ones back in.”

    Customer: “WHY THE F*** WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”

    Me: “You are being overly difficult over something very basic. I have chosen to exercise my right not to serve you. Please leave my store.”

    Customer: “YOU CAN’T DO THAT TO ME! I’M GONNA CALL YOUR CORPORATE OFFICE!”

    Me: “I’ll be expecting to hear your complaint.”

    (The customer storms towards the door.)

    Employee: “Have a nice night, ma’am.”

    Customer: “SHUT THE F*** UP!”

    (The employee looks at me and smiles, dumbfounded by this ridiculous encounter. I then call my district manager and tell him about the encounter. He assures me he will stand behind my decision not to serve her. Minutes later, I go to the grocery store to get something to snack on and find the same woman standing in an aisle yelling at three managers of the grocery store.)

    Related:
    About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 3
    About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 2
    About To Get Charged With Battery

    Making Headway With The Headlights

    | Pasadena, MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I work at an auto parts store. We are not certified to repair cars; we are just a retail shop. I do, however, let customers know that if a cashier feels they are able to help in any way that we will do so.)

    Me: “Hello, there. How may I help you today?”

    Customer: “I need a headlight for my car.”

    Me: “Okay. What is the year, make, and model?”

    (The customer tells me the car. She pays, and then walks outside. I begin stocking shelves, when she comes back a few minutes later looking very angry.)

    Customer: “What do you think you’re doing?!”

    Me: “Um… stocking shelves?”

    Customer: “Why aren’t you helping me outside?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you still needed help.”

    Customer: “Who else is going to put my headlight in?!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, we don’t normally do that, but I am willing to take a look to see if I can help you in any way.”

    Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WON’T PUT IT IN!?”

    Me: “I didn’t say that. I told you I will have a look.”

    Customer: “Fine. Just do it!”

    (I walk outside, and look at her car. As I feared I would have to remove the bumper and headlight assembly to replace her bulb. This is something I am not willing to risk my job for.)

    Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but I can not assist you. I would have to remove your bumper and the headlight case to replace your bulb. I do not have the tools or experience to do this.”

    Customer: “I don’t CARE. Just do it!”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Excuse me!?”

    Me: “I said, no. I will not install your headlight.”

    Customer: “Well, you need to—”

    Me: “No. You NEED to listen. This is NOT a repair shop. I have been very nice to you and tried to help you to the best of my ability. Replacing your headlight requires more work than we are allowed to do by company policy. Now, if you would stop yelling at me, I will be more than happy to give you the number of a proper repair shop.”

    Customer: “I… Yes. I’m sorry.”

    (I gave her the number and name of a shop. I have seen her come in and, thankfully, she has been very pleasant ever since.)

    Not Acting Their Sunday Best

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Religion

    (I work in a shop that exclusively sells Christian books, music, and church supplies. The store is, strangely, open on Sundays.)

    Me: “All set? Did you find everything you needed today?”

    Customer: “I did. Thank you.”

    (She places a large stack of items on the counter. I’m halfway through ringing them up when she speaks up.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’re open on Sundays.”

    Me: “The owner believes it’s convenient for customers who can’t make it during the week, so it’s no hassle.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be open! This is the Lord’s day!”

    Me: “We do have reduced hours on Sundays so the employees can attend church. I came straight to work from a service at [local church] this morning.”

    Customer: “No! You should be closed today in honor of the Lord’s day!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if we were closed today, how would you get these things you’re buying right now?”

    (The customer blinks in surprise and stares at her purchases. Then she scowls and thrusts a credit card at me.)

    Customer: “It doesn’t matter! You should be closed on Sundays! Now do your job and ring me up!”

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