October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Not So Closed Minded, Part 8

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am the opening manager. Every morning my duties include powering on the lights, setting up the dining room, and putting our A-frame sign out on the sidewalk. Due to customers attempting to get in before we open, I always reserve these tasks for last. My boss could never understand why, until today…)

Boss: “If you just get it done first thing, you don’t have to worry about it and you can get started on preparing the fresh food!”

Me: “I’d advise against it… Can we at least leave the lights off to help discourage people from coming in?”

(My boss agrees, but it’s clear he doesn’t see why I’m so hesitant to set up the dining area. He takes all the chairs down, and goes to put the sign out on the sidewalk despite the fact that we aren’t open for another hour and a half… and a customer immediately walks in behind him. It’s about 9:30 am.)

Customer: “I want [hot meatball sandwich]!”

Boss: “Unfortunately, we aren’t open yet, sir. You came in right behind me as I was putting our sign out.”

Customer: “Then make me a [pizza]!”

Boss: “Sir, we aren’t open yet. Our ovens aren’t even on. They take time to heat up, so right now I can’t cook you anything! Even if I could, I don’t have most of the ingredients prepared. If you want a salad, I can make an exception. Those aren’t hot and they don’t take long. But I can’t cook anything.”

Customer: “What!? Why won’t you sell me a god-d*** pizza?! Your sign is out! Your lights are on! I demand you sell me a pizza!”

(My boss and the customer went back and forth a few minutes longer, and eventually the customer leaves in a huff.)

Me: “And THAT is EXACTLY why I don’t set up the dining room until just before we open!”

(I was never again scolded for doing those tasks last!)

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 7
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5

The Mother (Nature) Of Stupid Complaints

| GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Pets & Animals

(I’m a night auditor, and the only staff member on duty. I see that the office phone is being rung from a room that has only just checked in:)

Me: “Front desk. How may I help you?”

Irate Guest: “How dare you rent me this room! There are bugs! Oh, my God! Bugs!”

Me: “I’m so very sorry, ma’am. The exterminator comes regularly to prevent this sort of thing, and we have an excellent housekeeping department, but this being Georgia, and the rooms opening to the outside, sometimes it happens. Would you like to move to a different room, or would you prefer a refund?”

Irate Guest: “Well, a different room won’t do me any good. The bugs are all over the place outside. In the shrubs and around the lights and just everywhere!”

Me: “Wait. You called to complain because there are bugs outdoors?”

Irate Guest: “Yes! I’ve never seen such horrible things in my life!”

Me: “Ma’am, your registration information shows me that you live in Florida. I’ve been to Florida. Y’all have bugs.”

Irate Guest: “I just want a refund.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t give you a refund based on the fact that you think we should remove bugs from the great outdoors. You can talk to the manager in the morning.”


(The guest slammed the phone down. Minutes later, I saw her car speed out of the parking lot. I briefed the owner/manager the following morning. We had a good laugh, and an even better one after guest came back to demand her refund.)

Reiterate The Eight

| Oslo, Norway | Crazy Requests, Time

(I work part-time at a dry cleaning place that closes at 8 pm on weekdays. I always close at exactly 8 pm, and finish up as fast as I can to catch the bus home. This particular night, I am running a few minutes late, and don’t get to start closing the register until 8:05. A customer comes with her arms full of clothing at 8:10.)

Customer: “Hi! I want to hand in some clothes for cleaning!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but I’m already closed. I can’t take in any more clothes today. You’re going to have to come by tomorrow.”

Customer: *seeming perfectly calm* “Oh… that’s all right! I’ll do that then!”

(The next day, the customer comes back. This time, the manager, who works the daytime shift, is still there.)

Me: “Hi! How may I help you?”

Customer: *very angrily, to the manager* “I came here last night, and this girl told me I was too late and that I couldn’t hand in my clothes!”

Manager: “Oh? [My Name], did you close early last night?”

Me: “No. Actually, I closed later than I usually do.”

Customer: “Well, I was only here three minutes past eight! I don’t understand why you couldn’t take in my clothes!”

Me: “Actually, you were here ten minutes past eight. I was looking at the giant clock that’s hanging right behind you. But I’d be happy to register your clothes in now.”

(I finish the transaction, with the customer still looking generally unhappy.)

Manager: *to the customer as she’s leaving* “And by the way! We close at exactly eight. Three minutes past is still after closing time!”

Customer: “Well, that is just horrible customer service!”

Manager: *to me, after the customer has left* “How is it bad customer service? Technically, that’s no customer service.”

An Emerging Emergency

| Oceanside, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(A tenant was upset that she had called the maintenance emergency number at midnight on a Saturday night, and they did not respond immediately. She came into my office the following Monday morning to explain her ’emergency.’)

Tenant: “I had a leak from my bathtub faucet. I put a bucket in the bathtub to catch the leak. It got worse and the bucket overflowed. Don’t you consider that an emergency?”

Me: “Did the overflow go down the bathtub drain?”

Tenant: “Yes.”

Me: “Did any water leak outside of the bathtub?”

Tenant: “No.”

Me: “No, we do not consider a leak contained in the bathtub as an emergency.”

No End To The Weekends

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests

Customer: “Hello! Please, we would like to come to your play this weekend and we see that it sold out. We have waited all year and this is the only weekend we can get out of all the madness in our lives. Please, please, please, any chance we can get tickets? I’ll bake and bring cookies! Scream! Please?!”

Me: “We had a couple cancellations on Friday, so I can actually get you in at 11 pm. We really like cookies.”

Customer: “We were actually hoping for Sunday.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have a show on Sunday. Let me know if you want the tickets for 11 pm on Friday.”

Customer: “What about 9 pm on Saturday?”

Me: “We are completely sold out on Saturday. Do you want the tickets for 11 pm on Friday?”

Customer: “We actually can’t do Friday, so we’ll just come next weekend.”

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