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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Stark Raving Mad

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (An older customer walks in very quickly and glares at me.)

    Me: “Good morning!”

    Customer:What does ‘winter is coming’ mean?!”

    (The customer is referring to our ‘Game Of Thrones’ themed red-wine window.)

    Me: “Oh! It’s the tagline, sort of, to a very popular series of books and TV show.”

    Customer: “Well, you should be shot in the head with a small derringer. It should read, ‘autumn is here, winter is near.’”

    Me: “Well, it’s a pop culture reference and has been very successful for us. I’m not sure what your intention is, coming in here and telling me I should be shot.”

    Customer: “WELL DO YOU ONLY SELL WINE TO TRENDY PEOPLE?! I OWN AN ADVERTISING AGENCY! I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU!” *storms out*

    Bird Brained, Part 8

    | Reading, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a small natural remedies shop. A customer comes in just as we are opening. We open early in the morning; birds are literally still singing outside. The customer browses around for a while, looking increasingly more irritated until stalking up to the counter.)

    Customer: “Excuse me?! Aren’t you going to do anything about those d*** birds? They won’t shut up.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry ma’am, but we can’t really do much about the birds; they’re out there singing every morning. Maybe you could come back a little later?”

    Customer: “I can’t come back later; I’ve got s*** to do today! Can’t you put on some music or something?”

    Me: *bemused* “Okay, I’ll see what’s behind the counter.”

    (I go to look through the store’s CDs, and try not to laugh.)

    Customer: *stomps foot* “Well?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; it’s all sounds of nature type stuff.”

    Customer: “So put it on!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s bird noises.”

    Customer: *stares intently* “Put it on.”

    (She continues her shopping in peace and condescendingly asks me ‘isn’t that much better now?’ to the twin cacophony of singing birds in the background. Since then she’s come back every week at the same time, and I make sure I have the sounds of nature on hand when she does.)

    Related:
    Early Bird Brained
    Bird Brained
    Bird Brained, Part 2
    Bird Brained, Part 3
    Bird Brained, Part 4
    Bird Brained, Part 5
    Bird Brained, Part 6
    Bird Brained, Part 7

    The Ten Doctors Versus The Ten Commandments

    , | USA | Crazy Requests, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Religion

    (I order my food, and I sit down and start watching an episode of ‘Doctor Who’ on my smartphone with my headphones. Another customer taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to see a girl in her late teens.)

    Customer: “Is that Doctor Who?”

    Me: “Yeah, are you a fan?!”

    Customer: “No! I am asking you to shut it off!”

    Me: “Why?”

    Customer: “Because my church says that Doctor Who is evil, and I am asking you to shut it off.”

    Me: “Umm, no, I am not turning it off. Besides, I have my headphones in, so you don’t have to watch it.”

    Customer: “No, you have to respect my views and turn it off! It’s against my religion; it’s evil! Now turn it off!”

    (The customer grabs for my phone. I pull my phone away before she can grab it.)

    Me: “Don’t touch my phone!”

    Customer:Doctor Who is evil! They are trying to brain-wash our young minds! They want us to support gay marriage and be atheist!”

    Me: “Well, if you really did understand Doctor Who, you would have seen that the Tenth Doctor was talking about Christmas, and he said that he was there when Jesus was born. Also the Doctor is very open-minded; he would save you even if you did call him evil.”

    Customer:DOCTOR WHO IS EVIL!”

    (The customer continues screaming and cussing and eventually gets herself kicked out. Afterwards, one of the restaurant’s workers comes up to me.)

    Worker: “Sorry about that.”

    Me: “It’s okay!”

    Worker: “Best Doctor?”

    Me: “Four, duh!”

    (We then high five, and I go my way.)

    An Open And Shut Reason

    , | USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion

    (Our restaurant is open 24 hours a day, and only closes for two days every year. One day in the middle of summer, we unexpectedly close for the day and open the next morning.)

    Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Well you can get me the [meal] that I couldn’t get yesterday morning because you guys were closed!”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Your total will be [total].”

    Customer: “Well I think I should get it for free since you guys were closed. I mean, what was so d*** important you had to close in the middle of summer? What about all the people who need coffee before work and need to buy lunch?”

    Me: “I can get the manager for you, but I highly doubt she will give you your meal for free.”

    (I call the manager over and the customer explains again why he thinks his food should be free.)

    Manager: “Sir, I know it was inconvenient for you and all our other customers, but the store was closed yesterday so we could attend a funeral for a beloved coworker that passed away two days ago. If you want compensation for the inconvenience you will have to take the matter up with God.”

    (The customer doesn’t bother paying and just leaves the store. Thankfully, the majority of our customers are much nicer about the whole ordeal.)

    Have A Heart (Attack)

    | SK, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

    (I work at a walk-in medical clinic located in a shopping center. It is about 20 minutes before closing and as a result, it’s only the doctor and I working. A man walks in complaining of chest pain, and goes into full cardiac arrest. I am in the back assisting the doctor for approximately 10 minutes as he stabilizes the patient and the paramedics arrive. Once the paramedics take over, I head for the front desk. There is a patient waiting.)

    Patient: “About d*** time! I have been waiting for five minutes!”

    Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. We had a patient in full cardiac arrest and the doctor required my assistance.”

    Patient: “That’s no excuse for bad service. I shouldn’t have had to wait that long. Now, I want to see a doctor.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, the doctor will be leaving with the patient and paramedics to go to the hospital. We have to close a few minutes early.”

    Patient: “This is ridiculous. I have a sore throat and I need to see a doctor. I demand I be seen before the doctor leaves. Whoever else can wait; I am leaving on a trip tomorrow, and must be seen today.”

    Me: “Ma’am, emergencies take precedence. A heart attack beats a sore throat. You either have to come back tomorrow, or seek care elsewhere.”

    Patient: “I don’t care about your excuses! I am a busy, important person, and need to see a doctor now!”

    (I have lost all patience. I am about to throw her out, when the paramedics start wheeling out the cardiac-arrest patient on the gurney, followed by the doctor.)

    Patient: *still yelling* “There, the doctor is right there. He can see me before he takes care of that lazy guy!”

    Doctor: “Tell you what: have a heart attack right now, and I will be happy to assist you. Otherwise, get your insensitive a** out of my clinic and don’t ever come back.”

    (The customer storms out, but actually tries to come back the next day. She is refused. The man makes a full recovery and sends flowers, gift cards and thoughtful notes to both the doctor and me for the help.)


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