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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    These Customers Come But Once A Year

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (The restaurant I work at is closed Thanksgiving and Christmas, and has been doing so for 20 years. Every year, we get at least one call the day after each complaining. It is December 26th.)

    Caller: “Hi. I tried coming to your restaurant yesterday but the lights were all out, the doors were locked, and nobody answered your phones!”

    Me: “We were closed yesterday.”

    Caller: “But you guys are never closed on Christmas!”

    Me: “Sir, we’ve been closed on Christmas and Thanksgiving every year since we opened.”

    Caller: “Liar! I DEMAND to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Sir, I am currently the only one in right now. I can give you the owner’s number if you like.”

    Caller: “NO! I DON’T WANT TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER! I WANT A MANAGER!”

    Me: “I am the manager on duty. If you call back at about 11, the mid-shift manager will be in and you can speak with him if you don’t want to speak to me.”

    Caller: “I want free food because you people locked the doors and wouldn’t let me in yesterday!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t give you free food because you came by on one of the two days of the year we are closed.”

    Caller: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Do you work somewhere that closes on certain days?”

    Caller: “Yeah! I work for the bank!”

    Me: “So, if I called in on a Monday and demanded free services because I had come by the Sunday before and you were closed, what would you do?”

    Caller: “I would laugh at you and hang up.”

    Me: “Well, then, I guess that’s as good a plan as any.”

    (I laugh at him and hang up.)

    The Argument Crumbles Like A Cookie

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is early November.)

    Customer: “Do you have any gingerbread cookies?”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. We don’t.”

    Customer: “Why would you not even have gingerbread cookies?”

    Me: “Sorry, but we haven’t even started making them yet this year.”

    Customer: “What? Why the f*** not?”

    Me: “Because here at [Shop's Name], we like to follow the traditions and not start baking Christmas cookies until Christmas time.”

    Customer: “Ah, I see! I’m glad to hear that you follow the traditions. All shops should be like you. I don’t get it why people just can’t wait these days. Everyone is just so d*** greedy!” *wanders off*

    Order(s) Out Of Disorder, Part 2

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a drive-in style restaurant that also takes call-in orders. It’s store policy to ask for the customer’s name before ending the call, because we sometimes get more than one call-in order at a time.)

    Me: “Hello. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Pick-up.”

    Me: “Okay. Not a problem!”

    (I check the register, and I see that we have three call-in orders at the moment.)

    Me: “What was the name for that order?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! I didn’t call it in!”

    Me: “Well, we have several call-in orders right now so I’ll need some information to make sure you get the right one. What food was on the order?”

    Customer: “How the h*** should I know what she ordered?!”

    Me: “Okay… So, you don’t know the name and you don’t know what the order was for?”

    Customer: “Yeah, whatever! Now give me my food!”

    Me: “Without the name or the order, I have no way of knowing which one is yours. You’ll either have to call and ask or wait for all the other orders to be picked up first because I can’t just guess and risk giving out someone else’s food to the wrong person.”

    Customer: “WELL THAT IS JUST STUPID!”

    Related:
    Order(s) Out Of Disorder

    The Weather Outside Is Frightful And The Customer Is Not Delightful

    | Lincoln, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I work as a telephonist and talk to huge volumes of customers each day. This particular day there has been a power cut which has knocked out the computer booking system and most of the traffic lights in town. To make things worse, the Christmas market in town is causing total gridlock. I receive a call from an angry caller.)

    Caller: “I want to know where my taxi is. It was supposed to be here five minutes ago. This is totally unacceptable.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry about the delay, madam. As you may know, there has been a power cut. Our driver has been stuck at an intersection. The traffic lights are down and the main flow of traffic isn’t letting the cross-flow through. This has caused a delay.”

    Caller: “Why the h*** didn’t you compensate for this and dispatch it earlier?”

    Me: “Once again, Madam, I’m sorry, but I’m not sure how I’m supposed to predict a power cut. Your car will be there within five minutes.”

    Caller: “Well, that doesn’t help me. I’ll ask again. Why did you not take this into consideration and dispatch the car earlier?”

    Me: “With all due respect, madam, I could ask you why you didn’t book it earlier if you knew there was going to be a power outage?”

    Caller: “How the h*** was I supposed to know there would be a power cut?”

    Me: “So you agree that these situations are unforeseen?”

    Caller: “I don’t want excuses. I want my taxi. You should have prepared for this and dispatched it earlier. I want your name so I can complain about your attitude.”

    Me: “Absolutely, madam. My name is [Name].”

    Caller: “And who is your manager?”

    Me: “That would be me. I can take your complaint about me now, if you’d like.”

    (The caller hangs up. The driver arrives three minutes later and waits outside of her house for five minutes. He calls her phone and even knocks on the door but the customer doesn’t answer. Ten minutes later the caller rings back.)

    Caller: “Where the h*** is my god-d*** taxi?!”

    Me: “The taxi called for you, madam. Did you not receive a phone call?”

    Caller: “Yes. What the h*** has that got to do with anything?”

    Me: “That was our driver, letting you know he was outside. Did you hear a knock at the door?”

    Caller: “Yes, but I didn’t answer because I was getting ready. Where the h*** is my cab?”

    Me: “He has been given another job now, madam. He waited outside for five minutes, called, and knocked. In addition, I told you personally that he would be there within five minutes. Yet you were still getting ready when it arrived.”

    Caller: “Well, you’d better get another f****** taxi here right now!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, madam. Due to the high volume of bookings, the power cut, and the Christmas market, our next available booking slot is in two hours.”

    Caller: *deafening stream of abuse*

    Me: “Have a nice evening and Merry Christmas, madam!” *click*

    Trying To Put Her Stamp On Christmas

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is close to Christmas. We sell postage stamps, but as we are not a post office we only sell them in books.)

    Customer: “Hi. I’ve got these Christmas cards to post. I need fourteen stamps, please.”

    Me: “That’s fine. I have books of 6 first-class or 12 second-class.”

    Customer: “14 second-class then, please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We only sell second-class stamps in books of 12.”

    Customer: “Yes. I need 14 stamps, please.”

    Me: “Okay. So, 2 books of second-class stamps will be [amount].”

    Customer: “What! That seems a lot of money for 14 stamps.”

    Me: “No, madam. That is for 24 stamps. We only sell them in books of 12.”

    Customer: “But I only want 14!”

    Me: “We are not a post-office, madam. We only sell stamps in books of 6 first-class or 12 second-class. In order to get 14 stamps you will have to buy two books. Will you not be able to use the rest at a later date? If it’s a real problem there is a post office just around the corner which will be open in the morning.”

    Customer: “No. I need 14 stamps”.

    (This goes on for some time. She eventually twigs, and buys one book of 12 stamps. We saw her talking to a colleague of ours outside. It turns out she was setting off to walk three miles to drop off the other two cards so she didn’t need the postage! This was about three weeks before Christmas. Goodness knows why she couldn’t wait for the post office to open.)

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