November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Suffering From Bad Graphics

| Conway, AR, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

Client: “I need a logo designed for a girl’s camp and would like it to be on fire with a dragon blowing the logo out of his mouth.”

Me: “Okay, well, let’s start with the logo and get it designed, then work on the dragon after a logo has been picked. What colors would you like?”

Client: “I don’t know. I will get back to you on that.”

Me: “Okay. I will start some samples and wait on you to tell me what colors you want before I send you any samples.”

Client: “Okay, thanks.”

(Three hours later:)

Client: “Where are my logos? If you don’t have anything ready I will go in another direction.”

Me: “Did you decide on your colors?”

Client: “No.”

Me: “Well, I can not send you a logo to select from if you have not decided on colors, unless you want them in black and white?”

Client: “No, I want them in purple and orange!”

Me: “Ok, I will add those colors and send you five selections of what you described you wanted.”

Client: “Okay.”

(Ten minutes after sending samples:)

Client: “What is this? I want a true designer not clip art pictures! I’m using someone else!”

Me: “Sorry if I misinterpreted what we discussed. What were you expecting?”

Client: “Not fake font and fake flames! I want the real thing, like a photograph, DUH!”

Me: “Sorry… I am not a photographer. Everything I do is drawn on the computer.”

Client: “YES, I KNOW! So draw a photograph of what I want!”

Me: “Sir, I am not drawing you a photograph I agreed to do a logo for $120, not a photograph. If you want a photograph drawn that will be charged by the hour and will take a few days.”

Client: “You are dismissed! I would like to formally fire you. Let me talk to your boss so they will fire you!”

Me: “I own this company so I am the boss.”

Client: “Then you BETTER give me what you promised for what I paid!”

Me: “Sir, you never paid anything. We don’t accept payment until the job is complete.”

Client: “This is ridiculous! I’m going another direction!”

Her Relaxing Is Taxing

| Allentown, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a fair trade store. Like most stores, we play music over speakers throughout the day.)

Customer: “It’s too loud!”

Manager: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your music! It’s too loud!”

Manager: “No one else seems to think so; it’s certainly not as loud as they play in several of the other stores here. I’m friends with the manager at [Makeup Store] and their music is much louder.”

Customer: “That’s different! You’re not a REAL store!”

Manager: “…What?”

Customer: “You’re not a retail store! You’re fair trade! You’re a non-profit! You shouldn’t be acting like a real store!”

Manager: “Ma’am, we are a retail store. Our company is non-profit, that’s true, but retail stores is how we fulfill our mission.”

Customer: “You’re different! I come in here to relax, and I don’t expect it to be like other stores!”

Manager: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Is there something special I can help you find today?”

Customer: “What? No! I never spend money in here. I just walk around to relax!”

Freshly Chipped

| Auckland, New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Customer: *selecting a small bag of potato chips and waving it in my face belligerently* “Are these FRESH?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I’m not sure what you mean. They’re as fresh as any other potato chips, I guess.”

Customer: “I bought a bag of chips here once and they were not fresh. Is this a fresh bag? How long ago were they made?”

Me: “Well, honestly, I’ve never thought about it before. I don’t know where they are made or how long it takes them to get here. But I can tell you that we restock the shelves a couple of times a day, and a truck comes once a week to deliver more of them. So, I guess those chips probably got put out on the shelves this morning.”

Customer: “So they were fresh this morning?”

Me: “They weren’t made this morning, if that’s what you mean by fresh.”


Me: “Ma’am, I think the only way you can do that is to buy a potato and slice it up yourself and fry it into chips at home. Any bag of chips we sell here is perfectly safe to eat but they’re a commercial product, they come from a factory somewhere and I don’t know exactly when or where the chips in this particular bag were made.”

Customer: *throwing down the bag, and taking a different bag of chips of the same brand* “FINE. I’LL HAVE THESE ONES INSTEAD.”

Cocktail Fail

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at the bar of a venue that holds specific functions.)

Customer: “Hi. Do you do cocktails?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re not able to do cocktails tonight.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Can I just get an espresso martini then?”

Me: “…Um, no.”

Things Are Looking Up

| Towson, MD, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I am a trainer at a place known for its broccoli cheddar soup. Generally, our customers are pleasant, but recently one of my newer trainees was taking orders when a middle aged woman comes up to her.)

Cashier: “Hi! What can I get for you today?”

Customer: *rudely* “I’ll have [sandwich] and [soup]. To go.”

Cashier: “Okay! That will be [total]. Anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “You can get me your manager! Now!”

Cashier: *taken aback* “Oh… okay, sure thing!”

Manager: “Hi, what seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “This cashier kept looking at me!”

Manager: “…I’m sorry, she looked at you?”

Customer: “YES. She kept looking at me while taking my order! It was so disrespectful!”

Manager: *dramatically covers her eyes with her hand* “Oh, I am SO sorry, ma’am. Please excuse our disrespect!” *exaggeratedly fumbles for receipt with eyes closed* “Is there anything else we can do for you today?”

(The woman storms out without her food.)

Cashier: *to me* “Can I go on break and not look at anyone for a few minutes?”