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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Not In Pole Position

    | Salem, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in the ‘sporting goods’ department when a customer approaches me with a fishing pole. He proceeds to hand me the pole and says:)

    Customer: “This pole is broken!”

    (I look at it and can find no defects, so I ask the customer what is wrong with it.)

    Customer: “The eyes on the top part of the pole do not line up with the bottom half.”

    (I took the pole and straightened out the top so that all of the eyes were in line and handed it back to him. Needless to say, he was extremely embarrassed…)

    Wish They Would Just BOGOF

    | Canton, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a retail store that almost always has some kind of sale for frames. This particular week we have a ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ deal.)

    Me: “Did you find everything all right?”

    Customer: *places frame on the counter* “I think this is 50% off.”

    (Wanting to double-check just in case there is another deal besides the BOGO, I ask over the headset. A coworker responds saying the only deal we have is the BOGO one.)

    Me: “This isn’t 50% off, but it is part of our ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ deal. If you buy two of the same frame, you’ll get one of those for free.”

    Customer: “I don’t think that’s what the sign said. But I’ll just go ahead and pay for this one.”

    (I finish the transaction, hand her the receipt and she walks back to the frame section. She comes back with the sign that was hanging up back there.)

    Customer: “This sign says ‘Buy One, Get One Free.'”

    Me: “Right.”

    Customer: “Why did you tell me it was ‘Buy One Get One 50% Off?'”

    Me: “I didn’t. I said it was Buy One, Get One Free.”

    Customer: *brought up another of the same frame* “Well, I want this one for free.”

    Me: “Okay, well, I’ll have to treat your first frame purchase as a return, and then ring both of the frames up in a new transaction for you to get the deal.”

    (As we were walking to the register, she was mumbling under her breath about how I told her the wrong deal and how ridiculous it was that she just can’t walk out with the second frame. I finished the return and the new transaction, told her to “Have a good day,” and she snatched the receipt and walked out without a word.)

    The Refund Is Complimentary

    | USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests, Money

    Customer: “I don’t like my free gift; it looks cheap. I want to return it.”

    Customer Service Representative: “I am sorry to hear that. However, it was a complimentary gift. It was included free of charge.”

    Customer: “It’s just ugly! It is a piece of crap. I don’t want it. I want a refund.”

    Customer Service Representative: “If you wish to return it you will have to ship it back at your own expense. As I said, it was complimentary. BUT, I guess if you want to continue insulting it, it will negate the compliment. Be as rude to it as possible. Problem solved. Consider yourself refunded. Have a nice day!”

    Can’t Barrel Out Of There

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work as a manager and beer department head at a local liquor store that sells kegs of beer.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I need to order a keg of Corona.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but Corona, unfortunately, doesn’t make kegs.”

    Customer: “What’re you talking about? I ordered one last week!”

    Me: *trying not to get agitated* “Sir, I’m sorry, but like I said, Corona doesn’t make kegs. It’s impossible for me to get you a keg of Corona.”

    Customer: “This is bull-s***! The beer guy here got one for me last week!”

    Me: “Actually, I run the beer department at this store, and I have for the last few months. I can give you a list of all the kegs we can get you.”

    Customer: “QUIT BACK-TALKING ME! I want to see your manager, and I want to see him now!”

    Me: “Okay, not a problem.”

    (I turn around on the spot, making a 360 turn.)

    Me: “Hello, I’m the manager. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: *glares at me before walking out in a rage*

    I Pretend To Work If You Pretend To Pay Me

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

    Customer: “My taxes pay your salary so you are paid to take my crap.”

    Me: “First of all, sir, until it says ‘Sanitation Dept’ on my paycheck I’m not paid to take anyone’s crap.”

    Customer: “Well, my taxes pay your salary.”

    (I lay a printout of his registration fees in front of him.)

    Me: “You see that $32 fee? That fee is what pays my salary. I’ve only been working here for six months. Since you haven’t paid any registration fees for the past three years you haven’t paid any part of my salary.”

    (After a couple of minutes of whining he finally pays the all the fees to bring his registration current.)

    Me: *as I hand him his sticker and registration* “Thank you, sir… Now that that is cleared up… How about giving me a raise?”

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