Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,186 thumbs up)
  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Happy Hypocritical Holidays!

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Holidays

    (I’m waiting for a supermarket to open. It’s a public holiday and so the opening hours are a bit different to normal.)

    Lady: “Why is it taking so long to open?”

    Me: “It’s a public holiday. They open later than normal.”

    Lady: “But it’s a Monday! They should be opening at regular time. I’ve been here almost an hour!”

    Me: “So you’re going to work today?”

    Lady: “Pfft, no, it’s a holiday. No one works on holidays.”

    His Behavior Is Not Up To Scratch

    | MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I’m ringing up a customer who is purchasing a replacement copy for a game that stopped working.)

    Customer: “Yeah, this game just stopped working. It looks fine, though.”

    Me: “We can get you another, but let me see if we can trade the defective copy towards the new copy.”

    (I look the disc over, which has been scratched beyond belief, the is even marks around the center of the disc as if someone were trying to carve circles around it with a razor, but didn’t have a steady hand.)

    Me: “It looks like someone intentionally scratched it to a point where it is not repairable.”

    Customer: “That’s fine, we bought it at another store a week ago.”

    Me: “We won’t be able to exchange it, if something like that happens to this copy.”

    (I grab our last copy of the game for him, which he inspects.)

    Customer: “Why would you even try to sell this. This looks like garbage.”

    Me: “Sir, there’s just a fingerprint on it. It’s in far better condition than the one you had.”

    Customer: “Well, you’d best find another one, because I won’t buy this.”

    (After cleaning the fingerprint off and replacing the disc back in this case he purchased it and left. He returned a week later with a copy in the same condition as the one he was originally replacing. Turns out his kid was carving into the discs with a knife, and he had brought the kid in to make him pay $50 for the last copy, and pay his father back by trading his other games. Sweet justice.)

    Next Door Chore

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Hi, I bought these tweezers but the light doesn’t work. I want a refund.”

    Me: “Sure, do you have your receipt?

    Customer: *hands me a [Grocery Store] receipt*

    Me: “Oh, looks like you bought this at [Grocery Store].”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “This isn’t [Grocery Store]. That’s next door.”

    Customer: *angry* “Well, NOW what do I do?!”

    Me: “… Go next door and get a refund?”

    Customer: “Well! This is highly inconvenient!”

    Doesn’t Know How To Window Shop

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (I work in a bargains store where people can get almost anything for less than the RRP. An elderly customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Will these curtains fit my window?”

    Me: “What size is the window you’re buying for?”

    Customer: “Living room.”

    Me: “No, sorry I mean like what are the measurements for it?”

    Customer: “It’s a normal front living room window.”

    Me: “Every window is different. These ones you’ve picked out are 90″x90″, so they would fit a fairly large window. Do you know the size in inches, or even centimetres? We can work from there.”

    Customer: “No, but it’s the same size window as everyone else on my street, so I think it’ll be the same for everywhere. Would they fit your window?”

    The Only Way To Stop The Call Going Down Under

    | IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Technology

    (I work at a well-known electronics store in the computer department.  I am at the customer service desk finishing up with another customer when the phone rings. Seeing that the customer service reps are all busy I take the call.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I would like to speak to someone in computers.”

    Me: “I can actually help you. What questions do you have?”

    Caller: “Oh… I thought I called the customer service desk.”

    Me: “You did. I just happened to be up here and answered the phone.”

    Caller: “Well, I would really like to talk to someone in computers.”

    Me: “I do work in the computer department. I was just up here…”

    Caller: “Could you please transfer me to computers so I can talk to a computer salesman?”

    Me: “Okay… please hold.”

    (My manager is standing close by and asked what is going on. I explain the call to him and tell him I am going to go to the computer department to take the call. My manager decides to follow me since he knows my sense of humor and is sure this is only going to get better. Once in the computer department I pick up the call.)

    Me: “[Store] computers. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Aren’t you the guy I just asked to transfer me to computers?”

    Me: “Yes. I am in the computer department. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I WANT SOMEONE WHO WORKS IN COMPUTERS!”

    Me: “Sir, I do work in computers and I am fact in the computer department. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “DON’T LIE TO ME. YOU WORK IN CUSTOMER SERVICE AND I TOLD YOU I WANT TO SPEAK TO A COMPUTER SALESMAN NOW OR I WILL TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!”

    Me: “Okay, sir, please hold.”

    (I hang up the phone and get the grin on my face that my coworkers as well as my manager know means I’m thinking up something good. After a few seconds I pick the phone back up.)

    Me: *in an obviously fake Australian accent* “G’Day, sir! How can help you?”

    (My manager and coworkers are covering their mouths to hide their laughter.)

    Caller: “Finally. I have a question about the computer in your ad.”

    (I answered all the customers questions still with an Australian accent, and tried hard not to laugh myself. The customer thanked me and stated that he will be in later to pick up the computer. My manager told me the next day that the caller came in after my shift and asked to speak to the nice Australian man that helped on the phone. It was all he could do to keep a straight face.)

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