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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Anna Oprahnina

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

    (I am a book seller in a large book-store chain. A woman is standing in front of the new release table and is looking frustrated.)

    Me: “Can I help you, miss?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a new book. Oprah said it just came out. You should keep more new releases in stock! Especially if it’s a book by Oprah!”

    Me: “Okay, well, maybe it’s somewhere else in the store. I can check for you. Do you know the title?”

    Customer: “It’s called Anna Karenina.”

    Me: *pause* “Oh, that should be in our literature section, under Tolstoy.”

    Customer: “Why is it not in the new releases? Oprah said it was just published!”

    Me: “Well, actually it was written in the 1870s.”

    Customer: “No, it wasn’t! Oprah said it was new! Oprah doesn’t lie! She’s Oprah!”

    Me: “Okay. Do you want to get the book?”

    Customer: “Of course! Oprah said I have to read it. Oprah!”

    (My coworkers spent the rest of the day randomly shouting ‘Oprah!’ over the headsets.)

    Brought Her Baggage With Her

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am currently checking out a customer with a $130 order. Another customer comes up behind her with one item and I tell the first customer that I will check the second customer out first before I continue to help her. Big mistake.)

    Customer #1: “Why? That doesn’t make any sense! I was here first!”

    Me: “It will only take a moment, ma’am. She only has one item.”

    Customer #1: “Whatever.” *rolls her eyes and scoffs at me*

    Customer #2: “No, really it’s okay. I can wait.”

    Me: “It’s not a problem. Once I help you, I can focus on helping this customer bag.”

    Customer #1: “Help me bag? You WILL bag!”

    Me: *speechless*

    (I keep quiet at this point so I don’t say something I regret. I help Customer #2 out and she leaves. Things are tense now between me and Customer #1. I am already bagging her items. My manager comes over to try and defuse the situation’)

    Customer #1: “I’m glad you’re here, since apparently SHE needs help.”

    (My manager and I bagged her items and got her out of there. She was the worst customer I had ever had to deal with since I had been working at that store.)

    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am working the closing shift at the store. We close at 7 pm and it’s just gone 7:15 pm. The last customer has just left the shop so I go to shut the doors and lock them when a customer pushes past me and runs into the store.)

    Me: “I am so sorry sir, but we have closed for the evening.”

    Customer: “No, you haven’t.”

    Me: “I can assure you, sir, that we have. We close at 7 pm each evening.”

    Customer: “But it’s after 7 and you are still here. Stop lying to me.”

    (The customer ignores me, grabs a basket and proceeds to do his shopping. I inform my manager of the situation and my manager and I approach the customer.)

    Manager: “Sir, we have closed for the evening so I am asking you politely to leave. We reopen at 5 am tomorrow morning. Please feel free to come back then.”

    (The customer began swearing at us before reluctantly leaving the store after 7:30 pm. Several days later my manager informed me that the customer had tried this three nights in a row! Needless to say we got an extra sign with the hours of the store placed on the doors.)

    Related:
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 3

    Hurt By His Own Hand

    | Hervey Bay, QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (We have been closed for about 15 minutes. Our store manager always stands at the door to let workers out to make sure they are safe.)

    Drunk Guy: “Hey, are you guys closed?”

    Manager: “Yes, sir, for about 15 minutes.”

    Drunk Guy: “But I need my smokes, mate.”

    Manager: “Sorry, sir, we have locked up the smoke shop.”

    (The drunk guy starts getting really hostile towards my manager.)

    Drunk Guy: “I need my f****** smokes.”

    Manager: “Sorry, sir, but we are closed.”

    Drunk Guy: “Well f*** you.”

    (He walked out and hit the glass with his palm and it left a massive crack. He ran off, jumped in his car, and sped away.  Luckily, one of the other customers got his number plate. What he did not realise is that he left his hand print on the glass. The police came and it turned out he had a criminal record for being drunk and disorderly. Payback is sweet.)

    It’s Time To Show Them The Door

    | Denver, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a movie theater that has its last show times at 10:30. We close 30 minutes after the last show time. A group of customers show up right at 11 and try to open our locked doors. Instead of realizing that we are closed, they start banging on the door to be let in. I try to ignore it, but my coworker gives in and opens the door for them.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we are closed for the night.”

    Customer: “No, you’re not; you have a show time of 1 am for [Popular Movie] right there on your screen.”

    Coworker: “Actually that was for 1 pm, not 1 am. We close at 11.”

    Customer: “But your board says 1 am! Right there, look.”

    Coworker: “I am sorry for the confusion, but that is definitely not for 1 am. We don’t have staff here past 12 at night to sell tickets.”

    Customer: “Then why did you open the door?”

    Coworker: “I opened the door to tell you we are closed.”

    Customer: “But you opened the door! If you open it, doesn’t that mean you are open?”

    Coworker: “Um…”

    (I step in at this point.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am very sorry, but we honestly don’t have any times past 10:30 at night.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just turn the projector on for us to watch the movie?”

    Me: “No, we can’t, because our systems are automated. We have very little control on when the movies get played.”

    Customer: “Then why did you open the door! You really shouldn’t open the door for someone if you are closed.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t want to be rude, but you were practically banging our door down.”

    Customer: “Because I didn’t know you were closed! How was I supposed to know that you were closed?”

    Me: “Because the door was locked?”

    Customer: “But I didn’t know it was locked!”

    Me: “But you couldn’t open the door…”

    Customer: “I thought it was stuck or something!”

    Me: “But not locked?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why is this so hard for you to understand?!”

    (The customer storms off with her group. She then turns back.)

    Customer: “Lock your d*** door next time!”

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