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  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    The Sweet Taste Of Karma

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a busy chocolate store. One of our more popular items is a mint chocolate bar. They sell really quickly and we often run out of them within two days of the delivery. A customer wants to buy six of them, but we are out.)

    Customer: *staring at me and my coworker in utter disbelief* “What do you mean you’re all out?”

    Me: “We don’t have any left. I just sold the last few about 10 minutes ago. They’re really popular and—”

    Customer: “I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY ARE. I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM! GIVE THEM TO ME! AND I EXPECT THEM FOR FREE FROM ALL THE STRESS YOU’RE CAUSING ME!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, we’re really sorry. We don’t have any left, and if we don’t have any left, that means we don’t have any to give to you. You’ll have to come back another time.”

    Customer: “I’M NOT GOING TO COME BACK ANOTHER TIME! YOU TWO USELESS LITTLE SCABS ARE LYING TO ME! YOU’RE HIDING THEM FOR YOUR FAT SELVES! I DEMAND ALL YOUR MINT BARS RIGHT THIS INSTANT! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME YOU DON’T HAVE ANY LEFT! I’M GOING TO GET YOU FIRED FOR THIS.”

    (At this point, a little old lady has wandered in, looking disgruntled.)

    Old Lady: *taps the screaming customer on the shoulder* “They said they’re out. That means they can’t give you any. What do you want them to do? S*** them out? Because you deserve that instead of the bar!”

    (The screaming customer stormed off and we haven’t seen her since!)

    Demands Are In The Clouds

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    Customer: “I would like to send a pallet on an overnight service.”

    Me: “That’s not a problem, sir; we can pick that up this afternoon.”

    Customer: “I want it to go on the airplane.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. Due to the size of the item it will be traveling on the truck, but it will still get there for delivery tomorrow.”

    Customer: “No. I want an air service, not road!”

    Me: “Sir, we provide an overnight and off peak service. How it gets there is irrelevant. Your item will still be received tomorrow.”

    Customer: “NO, I NEED IT THERE TOMORROW! IT HAS TO GO ON THE AIRPLANE!”

    Me: “Sir, your item will not physically fit on the small aircraft we use, but it will have no problems getting to its destination overnight by road.”

    Customer: “NO, YOU ARE NOT LISTENING! I NEED IT THERE TOMORROW! IT HAS TO GO ON THE AIRPLANE!”

    Me: “Sir, it WILL get there tomorrow. It will just be traveling by truck. Like I said before, we supply an overnight service. It gets there however it can for next day delivery.”

    Customer: “BUT I WANT IT TO GO ON THE AIRPLANE SO IT GETS DELIVERED TOMORROW!”

    Me: *head desk*

    Deranged Exchange

    | Miami, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at an electronic cigarette store in a popular local mall. I have just returned from a month-long vacation. I’m counting inventory when a customer approaches.)

    Customer: “I bought this from you two weeks ago.”

    Me: “From me personally, sir? I’ve been on vacation for the last month, but I’d be happy to help yo—”

    Customer: “Yes. I’m sure it was you. The product isn’t working.”

    Me: “Can I take a look? Often times it’s a quick fix.”

    Customer: “No. I’d just like to exchange it.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “No. Just give me a new one.”

    Me: “Sure. Let me see if I can diagnose the problem and perhaps you can keep the one you have after all. If not I’ll be happy to replace it.”

    Customer: “I didn’t bring it with me.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Well? Are you going to exchange it?”

    Me: “Unfortunately I’m unable to process an exchange without you giving me the product back.”

    Customer: “Just give me another one for free!”

    Me: “Sir, as I stated, I unfortunately cannot give you a new product for free without receiving the old one from you.”

    Customer: “Fine. In that case I’d like to return it.”

    Me: “Again, sir. I cannot give you back your money if you do not have the product to return to me.”

    Customer: “NOBODY TOLD ME THAT! THEY SAID I COULD COME BACK AND RETURN IT WITHIN TWO WEEKS, AND IT’S BEEN TWO WEEKS!”

    Me: *remaining calm* “So, let me get this straight: you want to return your product and get your money back, but you don’t have the actual product to ‘return’ to me?”

    Customer: “YES! WHY IS THIS SO F****** DIFFICULT?! GIVE ME MY MONEY OR I’LL KICK YOUR A**!”

    (The man pushes me. I am a bit shocked that this has escalated so quickly but I keep my composure.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that will not be possible.”

    Customer: “YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF LIARS AND CHEATS! I WILL CALL THE POLICE!”

    Me: “I would be happy to provide you with the number of the local police department if you’d like. Then when they get here you can explain to them how you assaulted me and threatened to ‘kick my a**’ when I very nicely explained that I cannot process a return for an item that you are not actually returning.”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “So, would you like that number? Or I can call if that would be more convenient for you, sir.”

    Customer: “Well… F*** you!” *storms off*

    Me: *yelling to the customer as he leaves* “You have a pleasant evening, too, sir!”

    Going To Great Pains

    | NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (I work as a nurse for outpatient procedures. A patient has come in for a not-very-painful procedure, and has already received all of the drugs that we can safely give her for pain. This amount would have had a normal person sleeping by now.)

    Patient: *screaming like she’s being tortured*

    Me: “Oh, sweetheart, I know this is hard.”

    (I put my hand in hers.)

    Me: “Here. Try and breathe, and squeeze my hand.”

    (She throws my hand away from her.)

    Patient: “I don’t want your f****** hand. I WANT MY GODD*** DRUGS!”

    Salad With A Side Order Of Obnoxiousness

    | Jacksonville, Fl, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am a waitress at a pizza restaurant. We use a number system to place orders. Each ticket gets a number to put on their table for us to bring the food to them. My boss, the cook, has two different orders of the same salad, one small for table four, and one large for table five, which is supposed to be shared.)

    Boss: *handing me the large* “This one goes to table four.”

    (I take the salad to the table and come back to pick up the next order.)

    Boss: *handing me the small* “Actually, this one goes to four. The other one goes to five.”

    Me: “I took the other one to four already!”

    Boss: “Then go get it back!”

    (I go over to the table with the new salad. Luckily they have not eaten it yet.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but I gave you the wrong salad. This one’s yours.”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The one I gave you is a large. It’s supposed to be shared. You ordered a small. The large is for the next table over.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (The customer takes the small salad from me. I reach for the large salad, and the customer picks up her fork, licks it, and sticks it in the salad.)

    Customer: “You gave it to me, so it’s mine. Where’s my pizza?”

    Customer At The Other Table: “We’re still going to need that salad.”

    (I was speechless. I went back to my boss and told him what happened. He then yelled at me for not stopping the customer. Then he refused to make another salad. Table five came back inside to get a refund on the salad, which meant the boss had to come over. I got yelled at again for ‘not making them pay for it.’ I quit after that.)

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