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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Donations Of Future Past

    | Gatineau, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests

    (I work as a cashier in a charity store. All of our merchandise is donated, so we have no idea what items we will have for sale until they are in the store.)

    Customer: “Do you have a blender?”

    Me: “No, unfortunately we do not have any right now.”

    Customer: “Okay, do you know when you will have some?”

    Me: “You know all of our merchandise is donated right?”

    Customer: “Yes, so when will have a have some blenders?”

    Me: “Well, I suppose that would be when someone within the community realizes they have a blender they don’t need, and brings it to us.”

    Customer: “Okay, so when will that be?”

    You Have To Laugh About The New Scarf

    | Kildare, Ireland | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (A customer has seen a scarf that she likes, and wants to buy two identical pairs. Unfortunately there are only two of the same style in stock.)

    Customer: “But I don’t like this one…”

    Me: “Um… they’re identical.”

    Customer: “No they’re not! I want two like this one!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, miss, they are the exact same pattern and the exact same colour. There is absolutely no difference. Look, I’ll compare them… see?”

    Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? DO YOU? This one is a darker shade. I want the lighter shade. I AM NOT AN IDIOT!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; maybe it’s the lighting. I’ll just grab another from the stock room, and I’ll be right back.”

    (I hide in the stockroom for a minute with her second scarf, doing nothing. I then come back out with the exact same scarf.)

    Me: “I have found one just like the other one.”

    Customer: “See? I knew they were different! This third one is perfect!”

    (She buys them both.)

    There’s Nothing To Fear But Beer By Itself

    | Manteo, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (During the night shift at the 24-hour gas station, it’s against policy to have the store open from midnight to five if you’re working alone. My coworker hasn’t shown up, so I am doing some cleaning while the store is temporarily closed and locked. A customer bangs angrily on the door. After several mimes of miming ‘Sorry!’ and pointing to the ‘Closed’ sign, I open the door a crack, figuring she might be in trouble or have run out of gas.)

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Open the door!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we’re closed. I’m not allowed to be open from midnight to five.”

    Customer: “You’re CLOSED?!”

    Me: “Yes! Well… is it an emergency?”

    Customer: “It is an emergency! I need beer!”

    Doesn’t Have The Balls

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a spay/neuter clinic. One of my responsibilities is to explain the procedure to the customers when they drop their pets off in the morning, and give them care instructions when they pick their pets up that afternoon. I am explaining proper care of the surgical site to a young woman who has had her dog neutered. I lift the dog up to show where his stitches are located.)

    Customer: “Oh my God! Where are his balls?!”

    Me: “We removed them, ma’am. That’s… that’s what neutering is.”

    Customer: “Oh, no! I thought you were just going to… I don’t know, tie his tubes or something.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry if there was a misunderstanding, but I explained the procedure to you this morning. When a dog is neutered, we remove the testicles.”

    Customer: “Can you put them back?”

    Me: “… I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Can you put his testicles back?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m afraid once they’re gone, they’re gone for good.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Well, where are they?”

    Me: “Where are…?”

    Customer: “His balls.”

    Me: “We… removed them.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but can I have them?”

    Me: “WHAT?!”

    Customer: “Can I, like, have them?”

    Me: “NO!”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Ma’am, they’re medical waste. We have to dispose of them properly by law.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because… of the law.”

    Customer: “Okay, whatever.”

    (After she’s gone, one of the other techs confirmed what he thought he had overheard from across the room.)

    Other Tech: “What on earth do you think she wanted to do with them?”

    Shaken About The Stirring

    | NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (We have a condiment bar right next to the door that offers various sugars, half & half, and other coffee additives that the customers can add themselves.)

    Me: “Hi! What can I get you today?”

    Customer: “I’ll have a decaf latte with two sugars, please.”

    Me: “Certainly. Our sugar is over by the door for your convenience.”

    Customer: “Oh, of course.”

    (I ring him up, and my coworker makes his latte and hands it to me. I place it on the counter for the customer, who comes up and proceeds to stare at me.)

    Me: “Yes? Is there anything else, sir?”

    Customer: “Oh! I’m so sorry.”

    (He runs across the shop to the door, picks out two packets of sugar, and then runs back and hands them to me expectantly.)

    Me: “You want me to add them?”

    Customer: “Of course!”

    Me: “…okay.”

    (I add the packets myself while he watches. I replace the lid and hand it back, but he continues to stare at me.)

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer: “The sugar is just going to settle at the bottom if you don’t stir it!”

    Me: “The stirrers are provided for you at the condiment bar, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, fine! I’ll just do it myself.”

    (He hustles out, grabbing a stirrer and clumsily trying to fix his coffee as he walks. My coworker stares at me.)

    Coworker: “Did he just make all the effort of running all over the shop, just to have you pour his sugar in?”


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