November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Thankful For Diwali

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I work customer service for a large Canadian grocery retailer. This exchange takes place just around Thanksgiving, when we had signs for Diwali and Halloween as well.)

Customer: “Excuse me! What are these signs?”

(She gestures to the purple signs above a display of flower which read ‘Happy Diwali’.)

Me: “Those are signs for Diwali. It’s the Indian Festival of Lights, celebrated by a billion-plus people worldwide.”

Customer: “Take it down.”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Take it down. I don’t like it. How racist.”

Me: “I assure you the holiday is not racist, as everyone is invited to participate if they would like to, and the deals we have for the holiday are applicable to all customers.”

Customer: “But I don’t get to participate! I don’t like it. I want you to take it down.”

Me: “Well, do you celebrate Thanksgiving?”

Customer: “Yes. But these people are—”

Me: “—These people may not celebrate Thanksgiving, or Halloween, or Christmas, and we are an equal opportunity employer, so we accommodate several cultures and their respective traditions. As well as Diwali, we market for Chinese New Year’s and Eid.

Customer: “You must take this sign down, or I will be calling head office.”

Me: “You can get their number at the customer service desk. Head office sent us these signs. They also wished their Indian employees a Happy Diwali. If you have any other questions, I’ll be happy to help; otherwise, I’m afraid we cannot continue this discussion.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll call them! I’ll be sure to give them your name, too!”

Me: “That’s quite all right with me. My name is [distinctly North Indian name] and I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving. Happy Diwali, as well! “

Annual And Null

| USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(It is the Monday after Thanksgiving. A patient calls the office absolutely irate.)

Patient: “I just wanted to tell you I was here last Thursday for my appointment and no one was at the office! What are you going to do about this?!”

Me: “Ma’am, last Thursday was Thanksgiving.”

Patient: “I know that! I gave up time with my family to drive all the way over there to my appointment and you couldn’t even bother to come in! How unprofessional can you be?”

Me: “Ma’am, we’ve NEVER been open on Thanksgiving. Our schedule isn’t even set up to accept appointments on that day.”

Patient: *smugly* “Then how come I have an appointment card for [date]? Hmmm? I’m looking at it right now.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know. Let me look into this.”

(Puts patient on hold and checks schedule. The next is said in my most sickeningly sweet voice.)

Me: “Ma’am, you’re right. You did have an appointment on [date]—”

Patient: “You see?! How unprofessional!”

Me: “—last year. When we were open. The card you have is over a year old.”

Patient: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!” *click*

Me: *to the dead phone* “Well, maybe if you’d clean your purse out more than once a year?”

Shuttling Away The Bad Customers

| WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(When my brother comes to visit, the airline company loses his bag temporarily, and promises to call us when it comes in. A day later it arrives, so my brother and I drive down to the airport to pick it up. I wait in my idling van while my brother runs in to grab his bag. After a few minutes, I hear someone open the trunk and glance in the rearview mirror, only to see a woman I don’t recognize loading her bags into my trunk. I turn off the car and get out.)

Me: “Um, ma’am, I think you have the wrong…”

Woman: “I need to get to the [Hotel] and fast. I have a business lunch to attend, and need to sign in and freshen up.”

Me: “Well, I’m not a driver, and I’m just waiting for my brother. Maybe you should—”

Woman: “WELL, he is just going to just have to wait, isn’t he? I am a paying customer, and I expect you to do your job and take me where I need to go.”

(At this point I realize that she thinks I am a shuttle driver, which is ridiculous as all of the hotel shuttles have the hotel logo plastered on the side of their shuttles. As it is obvious that she isn’t going to listen, I decide to take a different approach.)

Me: “Well, okay, but given that you didn’t schedule ahead, I have my rush-service fee, plus a roaming service fee as the [Hotel] is outside of my usual area, plus gas and lost business fees, so that will be $300 dollars up front.”

Woman: “What? No, you have to take me for free!”

Me: “No, that is the hotel shuttle, which would have to word [Hotel] on the side. I am a for-profit shuttle only, and if you want me to take you now, it will cost $300.”

Woman: “Well, I’m going to report you!”

(She then proceeds to pull her bag out of my trunk and storm off. My brother, who arrived towards the end of the debate, grins before stepping forward and putting his own bag in the trunk.)

Brother: “I don’t have $300, but do you accept IOUs?”

Me: “I’ll give you the family discount. You have to cook tonight.”

Brother: “Deal!”

Always Have To Go When You Have To Go

| UK | Crazy Requests

Me: *speaking over screeching fire alarms* “We’re evacuating the building immediately… Let me show you to the fire exit.”

Customer: “Do I have time to use the toilet?”

Maybe He Needed Socks For The Office

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a counter right inside the entrance of an office supply store. One day, I see a man in a suit hurrying into the store. He looks panicked.)

Me: “Hello! What can I help—”

Customer: *looking frantically at nearby displays* “Do you guys sell socks!?”

Me: “Er… no, we sell office supplies.”

Customer: “You’re SURE?!”

Me: “I’m sure.”

Customer: “Do you know if [Store Next Door] sells socks?”

Me: “It’s a better possibility than an office supply store selling them!”

(He turned around and hurried out of the store, headed for our neighbor.)